When you are in the real estate business there is one sure fire attribute of any home whether you are buying or selling. It is curb appeal. Almost 2/3 of buyers will make up their mind about purchasing a house before they even get out of the car or view internet pictures as the case may be. Call it impulse or appealing to one’s innermost desires and fears, it is still a matter of human emotion and for the most part it runs on automatic
The metaphor is particularly apt as we look at our world today and its inhabitants as a house to be viewed. Does it turn us on or off? For me the curb appeal of Mumbai or Calcutta if only viewed online let’s me easily move on to somewhere else. Digging down I can’t see relating to their inhabitants also. As we have travelled the world I look back in reverie on some places and not exactly with a warm fuzzy on others.
I started thinking about this. How many times a day do I decide to take a deeper look at a place or person or do I just move on down life’s highway? Maybe even more how often am I repulsed? It can be the result of some sort of offense to my five senses.
You are not particularly attractive or may have some serious issues such a deep scar or defect that causes one to look away. If you haven’t bathed lately, adios. How about a whiny voice? And so on. For the most part I have given little thought to my biases. They just happen. I play a movie in my mind drawing on my vast stores and experience with the human race and proceed to blow them off. Sometimes gently and others without regard to feelings. Mea culpa.
Now that is my prerogative but also extremely self centered. Did I ever really think how I hit people? I am bald as a billiard ball and maybe some my think me a punk terrorist. I hope I don’t smell bad but my voice can at times be rather strong and strident. I easily get wound up and perhaps others don’t quite share my enthusiasm….especially at 5:00 AM. Me? Not perfect? How could you think that without even spending the time to get to know me?
About 600 of you take the time to read my ravings on occasion. I thank you for that and it proves even the most vile can be appreciated even if it is out of sense of charity. Maybe I just amuse you or maybe you take something away to think about? Regardless you looked beyond the proverbial cover. Here is where it gets fascinating
I have been reading a book,”Conversational Intelligence”. It appears as a self improvement book for corporate execs but can be easily applied to all. That automatic response we shoot out when meeting someone or reacting in a forum is related to our fight or flight instinct. Is this person a danger either physically or more importantly psychologically? Then I want to know if they are a friend or foe. Then I make the decision to either engage or withdraw. All of this happens in milliseconds.
If I recoil my bod releases a hormone called cortisol, which is both harmful and beneficial to our overall health. It helps to heal wounds but many times creates others as it lowers our immune system and raises our blood pressure and heart rate. Kind of why, Stress Kills. If I smile and warm up to you, I release oxytocin which is known as the “cuddly” hormone. There is an overall sense of calmness and we open up more and more. Open is the operative word We feel safe, ergo we want to share more of ourself. On the corporate as well as the personal side it is tantamount to growth and profitability.
Now some of you are saying you are more than happy with who and what you are and don’t need any new encounters or personalities screwing up your lives. Good for you. For others it is not so much “finding ourselves” but seeing all the world has to offer. It is by definition diverse. There are a gazillion concepts out there. Some good, some bad, but I won’t know that until I explore. I guess the bigger question is, am I just being complacent or do I really fear the unknown so I will stay here safe and sound in my little universe?
I am not advocating for one side or the other. Some of you consider me bona fide crazy and you may have a point. I am also not going to tell you with a straight face that I don’t recoil from time to time. Just wave a picture of Mitch Mc Connell, Nancy Pelosi or the Donald in front of me and my fangs appear immediately. Used car salesmen and jaded celebrities also get their dose of my venom. But how many times a day do I blow off what could really be an interesting concept by shooting or at least not getting past the messenger?
In trying to understand how their persona affects their company’s performance, many suits have realized that rather than leading their enterprises they are often dragging them down by their imperious persona. With startling results they have found incredibly productive ideas right from within their ranks. When you give people a say and are willing to listen to it you empower them more. They are no longer a threat to you and you to them but they see a collaboration that is magical.
I hope you can see where I am going with this. In our world today whether it be in the nation, the village or our families, look around at what you have not been seeing or hearing. Think about how you affect people around you. It is my old pulling on the same oar concept. With all our collective curb appeal we could really go places.
Ted The Great
Cooperation is lending a hand. Collaboration goes further not only helping but buying off and participating in a concept’s success or failure. Indifference is just that. You are ambivalent and have no special preference. Sabotage is trying to actively destroy someone else’s idea or project.
Multitasking is actually impossible and you should probably stop trying to do it. Multitasking leads to as much as a 40% drop in productivity, increased stress, and a 10% drop in IQ (Bergman,2016)
20% of the average workday is spent on “crucial” and “important” things, while 80% of the average workday is spent on things that have “little value” or “no value.
By taking 1 hour per day for independent study, 7 hours per week, 365 hours in a year, one can learn at the rate of a full-time student. In 3-5 years, the average person can become an expert in the topic of their choice, by spending only one hour per day.
It takes approximately 30 days to establish a new physical or emotional habit.