For the uninitiated, Ted’s Head is one man’s attempt to make sense of our crazy world. I have been on sabbatical for the last six months after writing weekly for some seven and a half years. I hope I have not lost too many readers in the process. As ever I consider myself just an average Joe who just wants people to think and communicate. Here goes:
It’s Been Awhile
Six months is an eternity in our non stop rock’m sock’m world. People have gone to jail. Many are headed there. Nothing shocks us anymore. Whether it is future president’s trysts with strippers or or scandalous execs rigging emissions tests we just accept it as ordinary and ho hum. A sense of morality or decency is now becoming a distant memory. That can’t be good.
There are several sides to the equation and they are getting further and further apart. Seems everybody wants to be recognized and has an axe to grind. The common good has given way to “me only”. As we take the scalpel to bisect our national DNA looking for the real me, we lose sight of the whole and it’s every man or woman for themselves. We categorize ourselves into so many little bits and pieces, to be American is hard to define.
Here in Denver, I am sitting in my wonderful old leather chair that I bequeathed to my son in law . We are visiting for a few days. We went to mass this AM and it was just great. Most Precious Blood Church is a special place with music from five musicians and 10 in the choir for the 7:30 mass. Astounding for Catholics or for that matter any religion. The place exudes community. People are there not because they have to but they want to. It works.
My buddy, Fr Pat still works his magic. He takes a story thousands of years old and weaves it into an isight for today. He is clever and at times irreverent. My kind of guy. He spoke of special friendships and it really got me thinking about my life today and of yore.
Kathy and my existence has changed in no small way. In Florida we live in a gated community of sorts but it is not your stereotypical older community. Sure we play golf and dine and of course drink a bit, but there is a lot more. These people are involved in the community in so many ways. Our garage was the repository for several dozen red bags that contained gifts for poor families in Indiantown. Two nuns run the Hope Rural School there and the many ladies here have taken them under their wing. One of a slew of charities we support.
Hospice here is a bit different. It took awhile for the eastern nurses to accept this maniac who came through the door with a grin and open arms. What is this dude up to, they thought? Can’t blame them. The ice thawed and I think they actually look forward to my coming Monday mornings.
Many patients die alone and a lot of my time is just sitting with them to make sure that doesn’t happen. Some are forgotten but some just don’t have family here. Others have issues not only with themselves but with their families. You operate somewhere between a referee and a problem solver at times. Much more complicated than Denver. If you think you have problems, think again?
At Harbour Ridge we have made a lot of friends and some of the have become very close in a short period time. At a moment’s notice you can have some wonderful conversations about a variety of topics. I have instituted “Cigars and Scotch” once a month to replicate in some way my buddies at Churchills in the Brown Palace. Belly laughs encouraged. Controversy verboten.
After Pat’s homily I thought about how incredibly lucky I am to have friends everywhere. Not just casual, “Hey, How you doin?,” but compadres who let me or themselves get down and dirty. How does that happen? Dunno. Does it work for everyone? Not quite sure. It also intrigues me I have both male and female friends and feel equally comfortable with both. Good stuff but again why?.
I hope this isn’t stretching it too far but perhaps that is what is missing today? We don’t take time. We make on the spot decisions as to people and issues. We are set in our ways and there is no budging. To listen is akin to acquiescing. I can’t be wrong and you can’t be right. Acceptance is for wimps. Going deep in thought and conversation makes us vulnerable and God forbid for the guys, feminine. That’s my story and I am sticking with it, becomes the mantra.
We for years have praised and depended on institutions to provide and example to follow, but there are all sorts of chinks in that armor. Whether it is church, government or business they have failed miserably under closer scrutiny. Why do they lie, cheat, bully and generally disregard what we hope were good and moral upbringings? Greed and power always work but perchance it is just a giant dose of insecurity. Too simple? I don’t think so.
Being content doesn’t mean you can’t strive. Being ordinary does not beget boredom. Looking at someone and having a great conversation does not necessitate that I am better or worse than you. Egoism is rampant today. We keep track of what we have but not what we can do for someone else. We want to show what we know rather than what we can learn.
I chuckle at that because I am so stupid at so many things. That does not particularly bother me. I just hope I don’t run out of time to get my act together. Hey, I get as complacent as everyone else and then that little thing inside of me says, get your ass in gear. Disconcerting but in the long run a ton of fun. Fascinating stuff.
Enough for this time. I will close by saying it is good to be back. I may not do this weekly. I may become more random. How shocking! TTG random??? But it is great to talk to you all once again. I miss you. It’s good to be human. It is good to share. Tis the season for it, isn’t it? Merry Christmas to all and,
Ted The Great.
Research has shown that giving makes us far happier than receiving. Thus, in a way, we are actually being both selfish and selfless by giving to others.
Psychologists have long known there are perks to singing, but more information is continuing to emerge: A global 2017 study of more than 1,700 choir members found that singing in a group improved a person’s well-being because it created social connection and cognitive stimulation…so belt out a carol or two in church, your shower or a street corner.
Insecurity: Emotional insecurity or simply insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable or inferior in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one’s self-image or ego.
Smiling has a positive effect on mood and perceived energy levels. Smiles project happiness and confidence by softening other facial features. Smiling can be heard. Most people can determine whether the person they are speaking to over the phone is smiling by the tone and rhythm of voice. Go ahead and try it.
See it works!
TTG or Ted The Great is actually my spoof on superiority. Years ago I called an old friend who had become a high up exec. His rather officious secretary demanded to know who was calling? I replied,Ted. Icily she asked, Ted who? I for some unknown reason blurted out, Ted The Great. The rest is history.