I am an oddball. I am ADHD. I am a right winger. I am a lefty. I am crazy. I am raw. I am caring. I am tough. I am honest. I am old fashioned. I am the consummate thinker. I am a slob. I march to my own drummer. I am a doer. I am not a team player. All of this is not my act of contrition. It’s what various people have said about me over time. Probably all somewhat true.
All this begs the question how would you really like to be remembered? Come on, you know you think about that. Do you want to be loved or just relevant? I have often asked, do you want to be a merry go round or a roller coaster? Can we be so many things? Why not?
I think a lot. Kathy gets crazy when I am behind the wheel, going down life’s highway and gesturing to myself. She knows I am off somewhere in space. It can be my surroundings, my encounters with my fellow man or woman, or just a concept that I haven’t given full attention to. To me it is just plain old fun.
As many of you know my most despised trait is arrogance. You have it all and know it all and couldn’t give a shit about anyone else. You live in a gilded cage that could be physical or psychological. Why should I worry about anyone. I don’t need a thing.
Whiners need not enter here. Even the worst off of us have something to be thankful for. Someone out there is having a worse time of it than you. I guess the antonym is gratitude. Not just saying grace every now and then but getting down on your knees to pray to whatever God you want. We all have it so good.
I love deep discussions. Not a self analysis of me but the world we live in. With a great friend, man or woman. Just letting it rip without the worry of disclosure or embarrassment of what you are thinking. There is a freedom of expression but more a trust of that other person. You are both vulnerable and that is okay. It’s just between us.
Most of you know my affinity towards hospice. I guess it does not get any more down or dirty than that. I work in an inpatient unit. The stay is not long and you don’t have time to beat around the bush. In a personal relationship I go from zero to sixty in about five minutes. It is the one time in my life when it is nothing at all about me. You listen, you care and you love. Patient, family, and staff are alI in this together. I am in awe that they are so open and trusting with me.
I like to fix things that are broken. I have this weird sense of what is wrong and how we might change things for the better. I wish I were a better politician because I am sure I piss a lot of people off. I try to figure out if a new approach is needed that says the old way was wrong or at lest outdated. I am impatient and that probably borders on arrogance. Yikes! Mea Culpa!
I have a good amount of energy and tend to put too much on my plate. I am a pretty good dreamer and a horrible administrator. That’s probably why some think I have ADHD and maybe I do? C’est la guerre.
I have several close friends and for this I am truly thankful. I probably have lot of serious enemies and I wish that were not so. Over 30 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I was a hot shot on the outside and a hot mess on the inside. What really brought me back was the realization that I cannot please everyone. I learned to love me and in turn the people around me. I think the phrase is comfortable in one’s own skin.
As for religion I am having a hard time. Church is boring and the homilies not original. The ritual is fine but it leads me to just going through the paces. I believe there is a God but I am not sure if it is a being or concept. To look around my world and see flora, fauna and mankind and not think there has to be some sort of Superior Being is beyond the realm of my small brain.
The love of my life is Kathy. That is not mush but saying she is an amazing person and the most patient being alive. We have had an enormous amount of fun. My kids and grandkids are beyond original, fascinating and loving. All doing their own thing in divergent strata. This is not braggadocio but the observations of a very lucky guy.
Why am I writing all of this? You are kind enough to read me every now and then. You have a right to know where this whack job is coming from. I have written Ted’s Head for over 13 years. My style is simple. I want to have a conversation with you. You do not have to agree with me and I am sure you don’t. All I can hope for is that I made you think. Thank you for being part of this off the wall dude.
Ted The Great
Born April 10 ,1945. Manhasset,NY
St Mary’s Grammar School
Loyola School NYC
Georgetown University. C’67 Poli Sci Major
US Navy. USS Glover and then PCF (Swift Boat) in country Viet Nam
Wall Street, Post and Beam home builder, computer company owner, developer, real estate broker Yada Yada Yada Jack of all trades ,master of none.
Lived on Long Island, New York City, Newport RI, Boston MA, An Thoi, Viet Nam, Denver CO, Vail CO, Scottsdale Arizona, Palm City Fl.
Wife Kathy of going on 52 years.
Son Scott and Wife Dionne. Two wonderful boys, Jack and Aiden
Daughter Megan and Husband Austin Three beautiful girls Harper, Ryan,Quincy
Daughter Lindsey and Husband Chip. Great teen age son Anders and beautiful Phebe who is a sixth grader going on 21.
That’s All Folks!