A momentous occasion occurred last Saturday. The Divine Miss K and I marked our 50th wedding anniversary. I can hear you all now, wondering how she did it? I usually quote the Bible and tell her that, “Many are called but few are chosen”. We have had a lot of fun and it doesn’t seem like 50 at all. 

A weekend in Palm Beach was a more than fitting replacement for a worldwide cruise or a quick jet to Paris. The Brazilian Court Hotel is old school and elegant. Maybe the way things used to be. Not a throwback but a hidden treasure.  It was perfect. 

For the uninitiated, Palm Beach Island is its own little world with His Hairness and Mara Lago to the north and Worth Avenue to the south. The latter is home to swells and wannabes. Comically a hot red Ferrari came around the block several times with the radio blasting. Gauche but noticeable. It called to mind “cruising” in American Graffiti. Just grayer hair and a lot more expensive hot rods. 

There was a marvelous inside terrace at the hotel that was the meeting point for breakfast, an afternoon glass of wine or a wonderful dinner. Neat but not gaudy is the phrase I like to use. Kath and I chatted quite a bit. We reminisced and looked forward. That forward part looms ever shorter but we still have a little runway left. 

Looking back was an adventure. Friends made and too many friends gone. Wonderful kids and grandkids. Successes and failures. New horizons and incredible memories. When you think of it we have seen assassinations of presidents and wars of all sorts. My little sojourn to Nam interrupted our wedding plans. 9/11 struck right in the heart of my daughter’s nuptials. A death of my best friend broke my heart. Financial crises almost broke my and a lot of other people’s back. 

We thought we would never recover. Watergate was going to bring down the country. Riots at the Democratic convention in Chicago were almost as heinous as a couple of weeks ago at the Capitol. Kent State. MLK and a soulful speech of hope in  “I have a dream” and then to have that candle snuffed out by a lunatic. Little Rock, Montgomery. You think you have seen violence?

Yes, we got down but I still revel in our tenacity and resilience. In every single instance we came back stronger than ever. Bruised but not beaten. Why do we dwell on all that is wrong and fail to even consider what is right? That is not to brush off the gravity of now. It is bad and we know it. But why is it so hard to dig deep? 70% of our populace feels we are going in the wrong direction.  Do you feel that deep down or is it just chiming in with the chorus because it feels better ?

Okay for the moment let’s call me a “Have”. We were comfortable growing up but a wonderful Irish mother would cut you off at the knees if you even hinted at that. We had paper routes, cut lawns and babysat. I delivered mail one summer to pay for my college expenses. 

Was it hard? Who knows ? It was a job and you did it.  Military service was not an option but a rite of passage. Nobody gave a shit who your daddy was. It was a remarkable experience in that everyone was the same and you were serving your country. 

Along the way we have met trust funders and others who climbed the wall. People who got their place by right and others who got it by grit. I am turned off by the entitled. I am equally so by the “ you owe me”crowd. Just a fair shake, not a free ride. The world as we know it is not fair. That is unless we are willing to give up any sense of achievement or self esteem. A socialist society begets equality. If that is what you truly want, then go for it. I honestly don’t think you will like it once you get there.. 

I am not pontificating but maybe just spilling my guts. Kathy and I have seen a lot but we are not sage philosophers. At least not me. As a society we tend to analyze and criticize ad nauseam. Gotcha here. Gotcha there.  Is there any role for just living? Doing the best you can. Saying what you feel without retribution. Spontaneous and genuine, not canned and appropriate. 

We are a minuscule dot in the history of time. We think we are the cat’s meow but we are just a few years from being a has been. Maybe you have giant headstone or a building named after you. After it is over, does it really matter? Fame is fleeting and so is life. Take time to enjoy.

I truly hope you have been as lucky as me and hopefully that still very cute brown eyed girl feels that way also. It is not money or fame. It is a life that has been a blast. Every night I make some smart ass comment before we go to bed. She smiles broadly, giggles and it is the best thing in the world. As time goes by. 

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Factoids:

Several years ago I wrote down how I hoped to live my life. Not commandments but aspirations. I hope one or two might work for you.

Nobody and I mean nobody is better nor worse than me. Whether you are a vagrant or a billionaire we are the same. Don’t play either card or your are history. 

I will speak out when I see injustice. My place in life sometimes may makes that uncomfortable but I have to look myself in the mirror every day. It is just not right 

I am passionate and sensitive to the core, which some see as a weakness. I take it as a strength. I feel for myself and I feel for you.

I will lay down in the road for you if you make the effort. Charity is a two way street. I will give but you have to show me you want to take steps to change

I trust people to a fault. I believe in their goodness. I have been betrayed on occasion and it stinks. I have also been rewarded and they are some of the best moments of my life. 

I crave the unknown. It is not an abyss but an exciting prospect.

I can’t take back what I said 5 seconds ago. I really don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I am writing to you, my good friends at this very point in time and that is very cool

I am going to turn people off. Too brazen. Too outspoken. But if you get me, we will have a boatload of fun and maybe accomplish some wonderful things. At least we tried.

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Webster tells us it is a state in physics in which opposing forces are balanced. In our bodies it is the things in our ears that keep us from falling over. In our markets it is the equality of supply and demand. In our hearts and souls it is a sense that all is well. Right now in my life at least it is a concept I have not enjoyed for too long a time. 

I started to write last week but the events at the Capitol put me in a state of confusion. Due to the randomness of my ways, chaos is not a unique experience but this time it seemed to overwhelm me. How could I find a foothold? Something that was in some way normal? Tough to find.

I have had this feeling that I am being incredibly selfish. I have a great wife and family, live in an idyllic place with a roof over my head and food on the table. Suck it up boy. This too shall pass. But will it?

I am not talking about COVID. There is a vaccine and despite our foibles, sooner or later we will all get inoculated. Yes, there has been death and disease and this is consequential enough to scare one but it is incidental, as crass as that sounds. 

There is a substrata in our country and our world that has people feeling they have been screwed. States and countries want to regain their rightful position in the hierarchy whatever the hell that means. 

China’s bitch goes back over two hundred years. Putin and Russia are trying to go back to the 90’s and the USSR. Turkey wants to be the kingpin of the Middle East and every little tyrant wants to flex their muscle. 

Governors like Cuomo and Newsom are basking in the limelight, eying bigger and better positions. Bezos, Zuckerberg and Musk count their money and their clout in reshaping our world. Don’t get me started on the Pelosi’s, Shumer’s and Mc Connell’s of the world. When you come right down to it, it seems to be everyone for themselves. 

I am of the opinion that it is clash of styles. Humanists versus scientists. `The latter look at most things as an equation or a transaction. Black and white and survival of the fittest. There must be a cost benefit to everything. Thank you for your service but you are no longer needed. I am sorry but you don’t fit in any longer. We have found a process or machine to replace you. 

Humanists are based more on history or tradition if you will. Morality and the Golden Rule are at the forefront. We should all play by a set of rules that look to enhance the greater good. There is no “I” in team and all that. Fairness, equality and justice are the bywords. 

Is it just me or is this a clash that is being fought every day in every dot in the atlas. We have made our world smarter, faster, more efficient and convenient in oh so many ways. I used to go to the hardware store on Main St. Now I go to Home Depot. We loved a neighborhood bar to get beer and a burger. Now we just call up the chain and have it delivered. 

All this feels like progress and Utopia in our world. If we play it right we don’t have to come into contact with anyone we don’t want to. I no longer think about homelessness because I really don’t see it anymore. Riots, crime  and violence. Sorry, I just don’t feel your pain.   

 My daughter sent me an article about a mayor in Colorado who went homeless for a week. He is a staunch Republican but had the guts to do it. His life and his insight has changed dramatically. What if you or I spent a week in housing project or even a jail? Do you think we would be so dismissive and callous? 

By this time if you are still reading, you are saying TTG is a real downer. I don’t blame you. But at the same time that old pragmatic SOB in me says we or at least I have got to take a long hard look. I think we are kidding ourselves if we don’t.  Do you? 

This isn’t a revival meeting and if we were saving souls I would have to be first in line for redemption. But last week’s events as well as those of the summer focused on the optics and not the underlying condition. The jerks that busted into Congress were the same ilk as those who tore down Portland and Minneapolis. In both scenarios there were those who are upset and probably rightly so. Their message was bulldozed by violence and now have given the cognoscenti on both sides the means to rationalize their hatred. 

There is inequity but everyone can’t be the same. The system has screwed up on education and healthcare but the downtrodden are not without fault. There is a thing called standards that we have to agree on. What is decent and what is obscene? Both in wealth and behavior. The chasm between us is enormous. 

Can we do it? I really don’t know. The political charade of impeachment is not a good start. The selfish and infantile behavior of Trump has created a nightmare. Both sides have built war machines that are revved up and raring to go. 

In my own small and probably naive way I am asking all of us to lay down the arms and try just for once to see the other side. Put away the barbs and the tudes and just say how can we get together? Everyone and I mean everyone has a valid point. It would take some very humble and big people to understand that. I crave some sort of equilibrium in my life. Do you? 

As always

Ted The Great 

Factoids:

The Amazon argument goes both ways. In one sense they have taken over the supply chain and monopolize it. On the other they have given small businesses the ability to market products to people that would have never reached. 

While working as a volunteer at homeless shelter in Denver I unscientifically figured out that about 25% of our residents wanted to not be homeless. Another 50% were either mentally ill or substance dependent. The other 25% just liked being homeless. 

There are 300,000 people in prison today for drug violations. 45% of those in federal prison are there for drug offenses. Most “Three Strike” laws mandate a life sentence for even those who have never committed a violent or aggravated crime.