Our world gets a little more complex every day. Just when you think you have things figured out something out of the blue hits you right between the eyes. It could be an event or concept. Where do you go? I think we have to start with trust.
It has been called the glue that holds everything together and I think whomever coined that phrase was right on. But how do you gain trust or more importantly how do recapture it after is has been lost?
Whether it is your parents, siblings, friends, boss or lover you approach things warily. You take small steps at first and then increasingly feel comfortable opening up. You get enthused as the door to your and their psyche opens. As you increasingly feel that you are not going to get hurt, you let them see more and more. It is very human.
As much as we crave community, you are ever watchful. If you have had a great childhood with few disappointments you are more prone to believe. If you have been hurt either physically or emotionally you are saying I never want to go there again. We see severely deprived adults who can’t even conjure up a smile or a wave. How tragic but oh so understandable.
Trust is belief in someone or something. You know it to be true and reliable. Sometimes we accept all that without empirical data and that is a thing called faith. You believe because the person speaking has degree of competency in their certain field. Words that pop out to me are reliability, authenticity and fairness. It is so hard to achieve and even more difficult to win back. Once burned, you are petrified of the flame.
As I think about all the things I believe in, I harken back to my youth and parents and siblings. My parents loved me and I responded. Not so much my one brother who needled me constantly and I thought he could clearly be labeled a terrorist today. Ha! Friends were many and some even became close. You won’t tell anybody, will you?
School at the onset was rote. Who am I to argue 2 + 2 of course equals 4? Doesn’t it? But as you go on you begin to have a doubt here or there and in some cases outright revulsion over what was being said.I just don’t agree! You are starting to think independently. That was what learning was all about but of course today that discourse is not allowed.
I used to have a lot more trust in the government. They were smart or at least productive and “In God We Trust.” Unfortunately they tend to think those words on the fins and c notes referred to them personally. Not so.
For me it started with John Foster Dulles and his brother at the CIA who thought they could play chess with countries. Watergate, Iran Contra, the Rose Law firm, K Street, dalliances, elections, Russian influence etc showed that most if not all politicians had their flaws and some went very deep.
All one has to do is look back at the Great Society and the trillions spent with scant results. WMD’s brought us to war even though they never existed. Money commandeered with the right intentions gets siphoned off in bridges to nowhere and a detailed review of the latest COVID relief bill shows the kids are still at work.
The world scene? Do you trust Russia or China? How about Turkey, Iran, Venezuela, Cuba ? The World Health Organization(Who) ? Maybe even the UN? We all have our skeletons but it is hard to trust egocentrics and petty dictators.
Big business? Volkswagen,Boeing, JP Morgan, McKinsey et al, have paid out huge sums to make things go away. All without admitting any guilt of course. Bernie Madoff conned hundreds of people and institutions. He even betrayed his Jewish faith by screwing many temples with equanimity. You just don’t do that! Have you no conscience?
Speaking of which, how about religion? The Catholic Church, not my faith has lost me. The lies, the coverups and sanctimonious preaching was beyond a breach of trust to those they counseled. Ministers and rabbis are right up there but not as easy or visible a target.
Doctors and coaches molesting at will. I could go on and on. Am I being unfair? Have you lost faith in me? Good question. I have often felt to solve a problem you have to admit to it. We are not very good at that. If you want my trust there are some simple things you have to do to get it back.
Be sincere and be vulnerable. No one is perfect. If you are wrong, admit it. If you don’t know the answer don’t try to BS me. It will come back to haunt you. Learn to trust others. Don’t think I can’t take the truth. The Donald and Cuomo were almost complicit at the same time in the failure to give us the facts. Equal Opportunity Offenders.
How about being humble? Look yourself and then me in the eye. Show me your warts. I will do the same. Then maybe we can get back on track. When you believe you are beyond excited. When you see inequities and falsehoods it sucks all the air out of the room. We are devoid of oxygen in many places on our big blue marble.
Hopeless? No, but a daunting endeavor lies ahead. Where do I get just the facts to make my decisions? Is the speaker sincere or duplicitous? Do the corrupt speak for entire countries and institutions? Do we have the inner drive and gumption to turn things around? Therein lies the problem. Trust me.
Ted The Great
Digital information which floods our world is suspect to many. Are the claims honest? How are you going to use my personal information? Is my credit card info going to be pilfered? Yet we pound away all day on that keyboard or phone.
People you should not trust are fickle, tell secrets to others, are too sweet to you, competitive, narcissistic, lack empathy and are social climbers. Yikes, is anyone left?
Lying…telling falsehoods. We all lie between one to two times a day. I am sorry I am busy. I think you look great. I feel great. If you lie five times a day you are probably younger, male and have occupational status. Memories of liars become reality in the their minds. It is easier to lie in an email than it is in pen and paper or in person. Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies.?
35% have low trust, 41% have medium trust 22% have high trust
The top professions that are trusted are scientists, military and police officers, with journalists, business leaders and politicians bringing up the rear.