I was talking with a friend the other day. He has been grappling with a tough decision for a period of time. I came back to him with the burning oil rig scenario. You are out in the Gulf of Mexico on a rig and there is an out of control fire. You can either jump into the shark infested waters or you can stay on the platform and probably burn to death. What would you do? There is no correct answer. But you must make a decision.

I can procrastinate with the best of them. I have also seen the best of them. In the real estate business I would watch a client meditate over a shade of off white for two weeks. We have a friend who asks everyone in sight their thoughts on something with the result being more confusion and stalling than ever. I’m thinking. I’m thinking. Leave me alone.

Barry and John Kerry are in the midst of a beauty. The Keystone Pipeline. We have had studies. We have had false starts. We now have the latest environmental impact on the Nigerian Gerbil in the far reaches of Nebraska. We have Canada saying please. We have Republicans and Democrats alike saying please. John Kerry says we are in no rush. Would one of you please make a friggin’ decision one way or another and let us get on with life.

How about immigration? First you say you do and then you don’t. This baby has been on the table since Ronald Reagan. We have at least 11 million illegals in the country. That is the combined sizes of New York City and Los Angeles. That may be true in more ways than one. But please boys and girls make a decision. They are not going to go away anytime soon. Talk about an elephant in the room. But yet we tarry.

What causes this. The roots are many and varied. Part of it is because our lives have become so complex. The cave men didn’t really mess around. If he didn’t hunt, the family didn’t eat. If he didn’t pick up his spear when the wild boar was onrushing there would be nothing else to worry about. As time wore on in Greece and Rome and courts throughout the world the decisions were made for you. You could even go so far as to say fifty years ago all you had to figure out was what tv channel you were going to watch. You got a gold watch, the wife watched the kids and we all lived happily ever after. That’s changed.

Stability has gone the way of the VCR. Every day you have say yes or no but we seem to be getting worse at it. Deep down we delay because we don’t want to fail and ergo look stupid. Our world keeps score with a magnifying glass and your every move is judged..or so it would seem. We would like to make a move based on expected results but the times are changing so fast we aren’t sure what they are. We amp all this up to finally decide that if I am wrong I am an  imposter. A fraud. There is nothing worse. What will my wife and my kids and my beloved friends think? Okay I will just cogitate about it some more.

We have been taught that immediate gratification is the Holy Grail. If the end is not in sight then how will I know if I am right or wrong. Jeez Louise I have so many distractions. I want to feel the thrill of victory but only if it happens now. Not sure? Well it may be time to check emails or look at a magazine. This is heavy stuff I am working on. Need to think.

Then of course there is the thing we most hate to do. It is a decision that is looming up there in technicolor but is at the same time black and white. Oh boy if I do this you are going to despise me. You pace the floor. You vacillate. Maybe if you think harder there is a different solution. The cruel fact is until you finally do it you are not yourself. You are living a lie. You can come up with a lot more reasons why you shouldn’t but in the end you see the writing on the wall. Man the human condition is interesting isn’t it?

My wife is the most organized human being anywhere. If you ask her for something she can tell you not only the piece of furniture but what drawer and and what section of the drawer where it hides. But if she has to do something she doesn’t want she is totally out there. She forgets. She stutters. She stammers. She is in total denial. Finally after my nagging she flips me the international sign of distress and gets it done. And then of course she will tell you how easy it was. Nobody’s perfect but she is close.

I think we are all too hard on ourselves. Monumental things are like death or separation. The rest is not so important. Some of you are probably old enough to remember asking someone out for a date. One of life’s particularly trying moments in adolescence. Now whatever you have to decide in life could not be as heart wrenching as that.

We would do well not to worry about each other’s judgement. We should probably not set our expectations quite so high. That can be in losing weight, doing your taxes or taking a test. Just remember on anything thing you do there is probably a 50% chance you are doing the right thing. I think that is the thought you should hold and as for me I would jump in the water and take my chances.

As Always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

People who procrastinate frequently may also have alcohol or drug dependency problems. Even if they don’t have a dependency issue, they might have trouble knowing when to say when.

Procrastination can stem from perfectionism. You keep going over and over something. You have to be perfect or you won’t be loved. This is sometimes brought on by parents where good isn’t good enough.

20% of the populace considers themselves serious procrastinators. They are late on everything including appointments and waiting until the last minute on paying bills, taxes etc. The even dawdle cashing paychecks. That was never my problem.

A couple of weeks ago there wasn’t much on the tube so we cranked up our new Apple TV and saw a rerun of “March of the Penguins”. Narrated by Morgan Freeman it was beyond fascinating. The Emperor penguins travel back to the same spot in Antarctica every year to breed. They mate and in an elaborate dance the mother passes off the fertilized egg to the male much like Peyton is going to tuck the pigskin into Keshown Moreno this weekend. The male then keeps the egg warm for a period of three months all the while standing without any food and in temperatures reaching -60F. Talk about Mr. Mom. The female returns some 80 miles to the sea to search for food to replenish the stock. Incredible.

The remarkable teamwork was  stark contrast to Richard Seymour’s version of events last weekend. Now this is not a pile on of the aforementioned Seahawk. We all have our styles. A few of his 50-60 teammates and coaches probably chuckled. A few were probably more than hacked off inside. It was like he won the game singlehandedly. Not. More importantly it struck a chord of my thinking lately…the difference between collaboration and competition. Which is the better way?

Let’s assume for the moment our future on many fronts is going to be determined by innovation and discovery. What  is the best way to get there? We will have to find new sources of energy, water and food. We will have to figure out how to make our current resources go further. We will continue to strive in finding ways to cure disease and maybe clean up our environment. Our educational system has to come up with a better way to deliver the product. Both qualitatively and quantitatively.

I am struck by cancer research. Each university or hospital group as well as the biotech industry is looking for the cure. Instead of attacking the same problem on divergent  fronts what if we poured all our monies into funding research on specific cancers by majoring so to speak in this or that? MD Anderson would concentrate on lung cancer. You want to study it you go there. Sloane Kettering can work on the brain. Brigham Women’s, breast cancer. Are we making more progress or less having a number of groups work on the same problem? Some might say lone rangers offer different approaches and the competition is what makes them tick. Others consider this a tragic waste of resources. Not so simple is it?

It is noted that a city like Denver has about 650,000 residents but has a large number of hospitals are doing heart surgery, cancer treatments and stroke rehab in competition with one anther. On the heart front it is ironic that as more hospitals push their group there are actually less surgeries by a given doctor. If he or she is doing less procedures are they as proficient?

Now we go to the purely human side. If I compete solo and win is it the same euphoria as having put together a team and having all share equally in the glory? An interesting wrinkle on this is the Ryder Cup. The USA is a group of superstars both in perception and actuality. They arrive separately and practice alone. The Europeans are more like a fraternity house. They travel by motor coach rather than limos. They clown around and seem to enjoy each other’s company greatly. The results are obvious.

My family felt that way to me but probably moreso by my birthing order of number four out of five. I had a well known father and successful and popular brothers and sister. Sibling rivalries aside I wonder if we really understood each other’s strengths or were we trying to beat each other out. I do look back and wonder if we had put something together that tapped into all those talents where we would be now? It’s crazy but not as whether or not we would be richer monetarily but personally?

Are we an efficient society or should we even debate the concept? If my history serves me right  we first started as pilgrims of a sort. We came in one or two ships at a time not by arrivals or departures per hour. We settled in colonies for security as well as survival. We didn’t have every body doing their own thing but splitting up according to need and abilities. I guess you could argue if this was the best business model or not but hey we are here today.

Egos play an important part. We want to excel and be rewarded but if we have a good team doesn’t that count for something? It’s been said that competition breeds speed but at the same time stress. Collaboration begets accuracy and self esteem. Every one wants to do their thing until they are in trouble and then they reach for help wherever they can find it. As a matter of fact they demand it. Interesting to say the least.

A few weeks ago Fr. Pat threw out the idea of a self made man or woman. You know I got to where I am all by myself. But then think about the means to that goal and how many people went into preparing that meal you dine on or building your house and the materials in it? Who wove the fabric for your suit or designed and built the 80 inch TV you are watching? You can hit a baseball or golf ball but who made the clubs and the ball and the tee and the bag and your shoes? How many little people are in that organization that got you to the top? Penguin or Seahawk? Now come on, you know who I am picking.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

In recent disasters non governmental aid organizations (NGO’s) competed with one anther for notoriety and impact made. You see if they were out in front then they would get more donations to further their cause.

100,000 people die in the US as a result of errors in medical treatment. There is no malfeasance here but rather a decision made with or probably without collaboration. I know what I am doing and don’t you dare question my diagnosis.

Our method of government is based on competition. Each side puts forward their platform of ideas and solicits the public to back them. If they win the spoils are theirs and if they lose they spend the next two to four years trying to thwart the enemy. Collaboration does imply working for the common good.

There have been a number of critiques on “March of The Penguins” ranging from the moralistic to monogamy, prostitution, child abuse and the entire social order. What a dope I am. I just watched it for the fun of it.

Some of the most innovative companies we have in the US, Apple, Google, Facebook, IBM,3M  fall under the heading of collaborative.

I am sure you might wonder from time to time,”What the hell is that screwball up to now?” A fair question to be sure. Some of you poor souls have read all if not most of my epistles. I am not sure if you should be commended or committed. But to put on paper what is actually going on in Ted’s Head is not as easy as it sounds.

I really like to change my beliefs or premises. Maybe challenge is a better word so I don’t sound like a total flake. I am always amazed when someone runs for office that their writing or speeches from twenty or thirty years ago come under great scrutiny. We jump on them for any inconsistencies. Can you really say you feel exactly the same way about things as you did ten, twenty or thirty years ago? I hope not.

Now is the above waffling or doing some critical thinking? I’ll let you decide that, but to be alive I feel that I must be open to suggestion of new facts or interpretations. There is a theory of neuroplasticity that I believe makes sense. Basically your mind can learn new ways of thinking and acquire entirely different pathways. This is regenerative and useful in not only the physical sense for a stroke victim per se but also in the purely cognitive sense. Axons and dendrites are forming and reforming no matter how old. That’s a good thing.

This really scares some people. To have a time honored way of doing things threatened and possibly being considered faulty is beyond the realm. We get so cozy and comfortable in our personal easy chairs that a cocoon rather than open space becomes the norm. I have to push myself at times. I have to shake myself from repetitive doldrums. But the overriding aspect of all of this is that I and we can change. Your DNA doesn’t make you a pain in the ass or a good person. You do.

What? Come on. You don’t have any idea all the troubles I have seen. Indeed I am aware. I have picked myself up from some pretty ugly situations. But the resilience of the soul is probably the thing that intrigues me the most and at the same time gives me faith. I can rue the past or dream about the future but I tend to think in the present. Right now I am having too much fun writing and trying to verbalize thoughts we all have. I am trying to challenge you and me both. I don’t want to think about three paragraphs ago much less three years in time. Tomorrow? Who the hell knows. I might get hit by a truck. Rock on TTG. Rock on.

We sold our lovely old home at 701 Williams this fall.  I swore I would be taken out feet first of that one but I lied or didn’t give enough thought to my red line. We have totally changed our lifestyle.  We live in a condo. We lock the door and leave. Not our old friends just the domicile. Many of them think we are nuts. Well maybe just me and Kathy by association. My buddies Dick and Bill don’t understand our wanderlust. It’s just us.

It’s unknown but it is exciting. There is a mystery and vibrancy to life that keeps my poor brain going. I hope it never ends. One friend says he gets tired just hearing about all of my efforts. But it is not an effort but pure joy. Last fall I spent a few days with a dear friend and his fabulous new wife. We reminisced but also thought of all things cosmic. We peppered each other with questions and probes that some might take offense at. Everything was fair game and we all rose to the occasion. It simply felt great to be alive.

I learned so much. About them. About a sleepy town called Providence. Maybe it was Divine but it got my mind revved up about Denver. It’s risky to think this way. You mean I might not live in the greatest place in the world? Or at least know that there might be others? I listened to different slants on life and thought how cool. It wasn’t a threat to my credos but maybe taking a piece here or there could add new relevance. If this is crazy I am loving it.

I am reading a book called Superbrain. Not about a computer but us. Without getting evangelistic it is interesting to realize all the processes going on in this Corpus Delectable. Heart, lungs, nerves, intestines (Yuck!) all firing at different times but somehow making this crazy thing work. But as automatic as it sounds there are a gazillion points of input where we control. You want to feed your body or your mind garbage go ahead. Reality is not predestined but simply what we make of it. You can take the best or worst situations and view them positively or negatively.

This is #150. Who knows how many more before my feeble brain gives out? I shouldn’t be counting. I hope I have made some of you think. I hope I have brought a smile. I hope I have put a little fire in your belly. Lastly, I hope you realize how much your comments, support and even the criticisms have helped me get better at what I do. You keep me very much alive. I hope I have done the same. And that is what Ted’s Head is all about.

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

This Thursday 1/23/14 marks our 43 wedding anniversary. Kathy is being nominated for a Purple Heart and Congressional Medal of Honor. Please support her.

The brain can actually heal itself. In treating people with severe brain damage or even partial lobotomies it has been demonstrated that different parts of the brain have taken on new functions to compensate for the missing part. I still have hope.

The human brain has 100 billion neurons. They multiply in a fetus at a rate of 250,000 per minute during the early stages of pregnancy. We have over 10,000 taste buds. There are over 40 million olfactory receptor cells.

We tend to reinforce our beliefs and respond positively to information doing so. We think about how information fits into our puzzle rather thinking about a new and different picture. This actually has a name….narrow minded thinking.

Flip Flops

Lincoln said he would never split the union over slavery.

Michael Bloomberg was a Democrat, then Republican, then???

Bill Clinton said he never had sex with that woman.

Bill Belichik  thought Wes Welker was s beautiful person..

Richard Sherman was sane.

“The mind that opens itself to a new idea never returns to its original size”… Albert Einstein

“Balls”, said the queen. “If I had them I’d be king.” What an interesting word. Without getting into anatomy 101 let’s contemplate spheroids.

The obvious are sports objects. But when we think of a football it is oblong and not circular. Cogitating even  further you forget whether you could be talking about soccer or the USA brand. They all seem to have seams and some even have laces. They spiral. They rotate.

Now baseballs are great but we always want to improve them fresh out of the box. There is some kind of river mud that umpires apply to every shiny new one to make them appear dirty. I’ll accept that but who decides when the ball is too dirty to be used in the game? The same guy who soiled them in the first place. Sounds like job security.

Awhile back Mr Doubleday said they had to be so wide and the seams just so but who had any sort of measuring device to make sure they were all perfect in the early 1900’s? Some clever guys discovered if you loaded them up with saliva they did some strange things and prolonged the pitcher’s career. They banned that idea soon thereafter. Purity of the game.

Then they tried Vaseline which was also the hair tonic that cool guys doused themselves with back in the day. How were they  to know that rubbing their hair and  balls ( remember we are talking baseballs) at the same time would do anything? Ditto gaping holes created by belt buckles and sand paper. You thought they were all dumb jocks.

In the wonderful world of golf before Bubba Watson, the objet d’art was a thing called a featherie. It was a bunch of feathers sewn into a wad of leather. Next there was the gutta percha which was just a ball of rubber they painted. Then some savant decided there could be a good use for rubber bands and he wound the longest rubber band into the middle of the little white capsule. Of course we as kids could not wait to perform surgery on the good old Spalding Dot and unwind that baby from end to end.

Now tennis balls were a whole other matter. They were white as the driven snow and the country club tennis ensemble. No colors allowed which of course had a lot of connotations in the days of white shoe WASP establishments. Then Jimmy Connors et al decided to shake up the high brow set and we went to orange and the effervescent yellow of today.

One time in a fit of cosmic thinking I tried to imagine how many balls were in the air throughout the world? Just think of all these things defying gravity? Of course they all fell back to earth at some point. This was both in a literal and figurative way. But I digress.

Now we also have balls as in parties. Many are debutante soirees where a young lady is introduced to society. The lovely lass is escorted by her dad usually and a host of whackadoo collegians. The latter’s sole purpose was to drink heavily and be available to dance with some stuffy old lady or the deb herself if they were still able to stand.

I actually attended one of these fetes at the Garden City Hotel. White tie and tail. A couple of my father’s buddies, Art Florence and Bill Dailey, decided I should juice up my act. Bill had a top hat and cape that he added to the pot. Artie wanted me to wear a ribbon sash with a few old war medals but I begged off on that affectation. I do have my standards. Any way I was a big hit with the guy at the Greenvale Diner at 6:00 AM while I was trying to sit steady on the stool all the while popping the top hat in his face.

Now you could say from time to time I am on the ball. Where the hell did this come from? Some people think it refers to being on the ball of your feet. That is the large protuberance from your foot just aft of your big toe and forward of your instep. It’s supposed to give you get up and go power. Not the right answer.

It actually comes from keeping your eye on the ball. In most sports it is a must. You can’t not look at a baseball coming at you at 100 miles per hour. In golf your best excuse for screwing up a shot is “I looked up” thereby avoiding the reality you have a lousy swing. I was playing tennis one time with former Aussie pro Colin Dibley. We had a great game and then your favorite smart ass here started chiding him about his serve. You see he held the world record for fastest serve of 134 mph and he had not displayed it in our match. He told me to stand back in the return court and if I could get a racket on any of the three he whistled at me, he would buy dinner. After the second one I was just standing with my Wilson T whatever protecting my you know whats.

Well I guess if you have gotten this far you realize that I am now balls up. That is really any disastrous situation. The balls referred to are NOT testicles. The term dates from the days of wooden sailing ships when the existence of a shipboard disaster, such as plague, lack of food or water, mutiny, etc. was communicated to the outside world by hoisting largish, brightly painted wooden balls up into the rigging. Balls of different colors represented different disasters and therefore served as either requests for assistance or warnings to stay clear. How do I get out of here?

Now before you start bawling I will go. But just think all of you slugs with minds in the gutter way back in the beginning when I just said the word “balls”. We all let our mind wander this way or that. And honestly it is a good thing. No politics or angst this week. Just fun.  I hope Ted’s Head  got you into just a little bit of crazy thinking. We need it every now and then.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

Ted’s Head was viewed over 5500 times last year. There are some 300 lost souls that read it from time to time. They actually come from 40 countries and I am sure many are involved in Al Quaeda, Hammas, the Muslim Brotherhood and the Tea Party. This is #148 and counting. The post, “Would You Date An Undertaker?” received the most comments.

I would ask you to take your email list and just once send them either a copy of Ted’s Head or just the address:

https://tedsheadco.wordpress.com

I would love to add to our bunch of loonies, not for self-aggrandisement but just to try to get more people thinking. On second thought maybe you should wait a week.

We all like to think we have all the answers. You know the best way to get somewhere. In stocks you have never picked a loser. Your team? Of course it is the best. Personal pride aside we all take one side or the other of an argument. In my own way I would like to put up a group of ideas which I hope represent a consensus. Disagree if you like and please put me in my place where warranted.

Let’s start with the economy. The last three or four years have been great for some and less than desirable for others. I would say not the top 1% but top 5% have done pretty well. The rest are treading water at best. Housing prices have come back in a dramatic way. By sheer numbers the building slump left us with a low stock of available houses. Supply and demand are never more in evidence. It will really remain to be seen if the trend continues.

The stock market has been soaring but the slightest hint of the Fed tapering sends shivers to the Big Board. It’s been a gift from Uncle Sam. Profits are up considerably but this is the result of belt tightening and the cash on balance sheets portends a lack of investment in the future. When we finish wringing out the towel of industry I hope we will still have room for growth and innovation.

The soft underbelly is the rapidly disappearing middle class. A few have graduated but the majority are being left behind. Wages have been stagnant at best(in this sector) for over a decade. We can invoke trickle down against the good wishes of Pope Francis but it has been no more than a slow drip. There are a lot of people out of work and the prospects aren’t good. It is hitting young people and the not yet retired the worst. Forget about arguing about minimum wage. If you make $7.25 an hour you are earning around $15k per year. If you earn $10 an hour that’s about $21k. Hardly a king’s ransom. How far would you get on these stipends?

The military is a quagmire. We spend more than the next four countries combined(including China) on defense. We are the world’s policeman. We have operations at 700 overseas military bases. We say we need this weapons system or that but cost overruns and waste are just downright sinful. There is a cozy relationship between the brass, corporate America and politicians that make this endeavor as a whole unwieldy at best and bordering on unworkable. Nobody want us to be defenseless but fat and bloated are the watchwords and they are not flattering.

During sequester there have been very obvious cutbacks like the canceling of the Blue Angels, football flyovers etc. I say BS. According to a good friend with pretty good knowledge the boys have pockets of cash everywhere they can tap into. I don’t say starve to death but establish priorities and go on a strict diet. More than anything learn how to optimize and be efficient. This comes down to being realistic about specs to avoid $23 screwdrivers and $300 toilet seats. Overturn the fiefdoms of weapons systems that continue to be funded even though there is no hope of their success or deployment.

The climate is what it is. I really don’t know if it is man made or not but we are warming. You can’t pump tons of crap from every mechanical device into the atmosphere without even giving it a thought. I believe we are somewhat caught in the noose in that there is no way we are going to reverse things. I find it uncanny we want the third world countries to work on their ecosystems when we have been blowing up ours for a century.

Hunger and poverty are real especially in the US of A. For a moment let’s say there are a mere 25 million of our fellow countrymen who go to sleep hungry every night. Let’s set the poverty line higher so there are only 27 million living below the poverty level. Forget about the human failure. Do you realize what people living under duress cost us a year in education, malnutrition and crime costs? Oh I forgot. The system will take care of these people eventually. Why is that any worry of mine?

Politics are the cesspool of our country. After Thanksgiving dinner I thought of gluttons at the trough. Just picture, politicians. business and lobbyists fighting over the carcass claiming the most lucrative pieces for themselves. For better or worse I have been studying the inner workings of  legislative and corporate America. It is beyond disheartening. Politicians are on the take but corporate gives to get their own particular phrase or favor. Vested interests via “consultants” thrive on ambiguity and complexity. Make it unreadable by sheer length and unfathomable by its ornate features. And in the end it means money for all….except us.

Politicians, staff, enforcement officers go into private industry( lobbying/consulting) to show the way to avoid prosecution, or get around this loophole or that. They created them. They know the way and you are more than willing to pay for it. Money is a multi headed monster that gives with one limb and devours with the other. The appetites are insatiable.

I think it really resides with us. I can stop doing this and by default my lovely wife will be a lot happier. I won’t shriek and howl after reading this or that. But there is something inside of me that says I can’t just sit by. Forget about whether I can actually do anything. My acquiescence would the worst possible thing I could do for my kids and grandkids.

Melodramatic? I think not. How many of us have not given to curry favor? How many look the other way at an acquaintance or associate who is doing dead wrong? Blame it on Fox or CNN whatever your bent. Call anyone a bastard who upsets your sense of comfort. Our State of The Union? I think we have a fabulous country that has been taken hostage. Gone is the sense of collaboration. Every man for himself and survival of the fittest. These are givens but we can change that. It just takes guts. I hope we or someone has them.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

In the coming weeks I hope to talk about tax reform, education and immigration reform. Hold me to it

Overseas we have 50,000 troops in Japan, more than 100,000 in Germany, 11,000 in England and 23,000 in Italy to name a few.

The Military budget for the US is around $680 billion. The Congress gives more than 58% of “discretionary ” spending to  the military. We account for 40% of global arms spending. In 2010 The GAO stated that 98 Major Defense Acquisition Program were $402 billion over budget and 22 months behind schedule.

Income inequality in the US is not unusual. It is smallest in Maine and greatest in Texas. The share of total income for the top 1% went from 11.3% in 1979 to 20.9% in 2007. There is no doubt the middle class must educate and train more but with dwindling resources things like college tuition fall by the wayside. Everyone and I repeat everyone has to have a hand in the solution.

Coincident with this is we tend not to go where the jobs are. Unemployment in the Dakotas are around 3%. California, Georgia, Michigan. Rhode Island , Illinois and Nevada range from 8.75%- 9.5%.

The unemployment rate for 16-19 year olds is 24%. For 20-24 year olds it is 13%. Who is going to pay for Social Security and Medicare?

Happy New Year. It will be great if we ALL get our asses in gear. And that is a factoid.

I just finished visiting my good friend Fr. Michael at the  Samaritan House homeless shelter. I brought him goodies I knew he would like…..a pack of two dollar bills. This way he can be Santa without looking ostentatious. He is one of the most charitable and kind people I know. He made me think of Dr. Nancy Sneiderman’s comments on the Today show as they were discussing the holidays. She stated,”Religion is what mucks the whole thing up.” My thoughts weren’t so much outrage as much as bewilderment. Have we truly forgotten the way Christmas got started? Are we that far removed?

Then I was sent the following by a friend. It just sums things up for me. I hope Ben Stein does not mind me stealing it. He read it during the broadcast of CBS Sunday News. Ben’s forte is money and investing but he can be my sage anytime.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crib, it’s just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God? I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her: “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said: “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”

In light of recent events… terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said okay. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said okay.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said okay.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with, “we reap what we sow.”

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it…. no one will know you did. But if you discard this thought process, don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards,

Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein”

And to all of you a Merry Christmas. Hug your family, dogs or just someone on the street. Instead of worrying about what you are going to get just think about giving of yourself.  Thank you all for being such good friends and putting up with my musings. We all have mailing lists. I hope you send this to yours.

As Always

Ted The Great

Santa needs fighter escorts. To hit all the homes it is estimated he cruises at 650 miles a second  and in that time makes it down 822 chimneys per second. If you object to the fighters,get a life.

There are 60 million Xmas trees cut annually in Europe. It takes 15 years for the tree to mature. For every one cut, there are three planted. You can actually eat the tree. It is a good source of roughage and Vitamin C. We are now producing upside down artificial trees so you can get more presents under them. I can’t make this stuff up.

St Francis was the first to start singing carols in church in the 13th century

The long build up for Christmas shopping started in WW II so you could make sure the packages arrived in time overseas. What’s our excuse now?

When you live in a fabulous place like Colorado there are givens. When you get up in the morning you are greeted by the sun…over 320 days a year. When you walk down the street odds are the person coming the other way is under 40, loves the outdoors and is pretty well educated. We are a purple state and unfortunately at election time we are inundated by ads from both sides. Such is our lot. And for some unknown reason we are the center of gun or bomb wielding misfits that feel it is their right to blow themselves and others apart.

I was in church Sunday. Father Mike was waxing poetically about nothing in particular and a young girl left the pew where her family was sitting. She had tears in her eyes and was distraught. She wore an Arapahoe High School sweatshirt. Headlines meet reality. I have two girls that once were that young and innocent. I have seven grandchildren who will face things like this several times in their lives. Commonplace and quickly relegated to page 12 in the second section. How sad.

If you haven’t been there, you thank your lucky stars. You gawk at the TV for a period of time partly because the ritual makes it somehow unreal and by watching maybe, just maybe it will turn out differently. Then again  the footage is in  the worst way voyeurism and you relish the fact the grisly scene is hundreds or thousands of miles away both physically and in your heart. Oh well, back to my life.

I really think it is a cultural thing and not just unique to the Rockies. Yes we are outdoorsy and adore the hunter gatherer mentality. Men are men and drive pickups. But you can see the same gig at a college or NFL game. Tailgating and screaming for blood are not only commonplace but part of our psyches. A young man named Keshown Moreno is our running back. A couple of weeks ago we were playing Kansas City and during the National Anthem there he was with tears flowing from his eyes. He was just proud and felt so lucky to be there he would state later. Many couch potatoes and commentators of the testosterone nation thought he should have been stronger and not show feelings. What a pussy!

We are enamored and obsessed with weaponry. As a kid of course I loved to blow up coffee cans with a cherry bombs. In Viet Nam you do brandish an M60 or a handheld grenade launcher and macho kicks in. Put your thumbs on the trigger of twin 50’s and as the spray of miniature missiles rakes back and forth there is a little Rambo in all of us. But that was war and we are supposedly civilized. When you see the destruction of both friend or foe the rubber meets the road. These are not good things.

We vacillate and ponder. I have a right to bear arms but does that mean an arsenal? If you can’t defend yourself with fifteen rounds should you even have a gun? We shoot down gun registration laws because you are infringing on my rights. And yet does anyone want to talk about my right to walk down the street or go into a mall without fear of having an urban warrior mow me down? Tell that mom and dad whose daughter had her head blown off about your rights. I am sure they would feel for you.

I was fascinated by the reaction of media types and solons who felt Pope Francis was over the top in his criticism of capitalism. Rush Limbaugh thought he was a Marxist but said he had really liked him up to this point. No more. Sara Palin and Forbes magazine weighed in. The former governor had not read the encyclical  but she thought it sounded pretty liberal. Despite these weighty observations no one got it that he was talking in a spiritual not political sense. We have made it a habit of politicizing everything even showing charity toward your fellow man.

I was getting a cup of coffee the other day and there was a guy bitching about all the hoopla that went with the passing of some “friggin’ South African dude.” Incredibly after 27 years of hard time he embraced his jailers. He got into government and got it to change a whole culture called apartheid. He cheered an all white rugby team and then moved on to let others take up the mantle. Why would any one want to honor this guy’s memory? We have more important things to do .

Yes I am in the Christmas spirit. I want to be charitable and give to you and others. I would love my hunter friends to have all they need to pursue their interests. Just keep it reasonable and register. We are not going to tail you any more than the NSA does now.  I would love all my rich friends to keep all their money if they see fit. Just figure out how much you really need and leave a little for others. I would also like to figure out how we can solve this immigrant situation. I would like to reach out because my grandparents were visitors to Ellis Island oh so long ago and somehow I can’t be dismissive . I would like to help someone make a decent wage. It may be a hit to profits but I think we would get used to that. It would take a week of all of us living on $7.25 an hour to maybe see the light.

I ask why us and know it is not just Coloradans. I ask why us and I know deep down you all know the answer. We can’t live in an anonymous world where the victim of a hit and run lies in a snowdrift on a busy highway in Vail for 20 minutes before some one stops to help. We can’t make it all about me. Hey, that would be wonderful in some ways but sooner or later we need each other. Or like the dinosaurs we can be made extinct by an asteroid of our own design. Why us? We better figure that out soon.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

If you make $7.25 an hour and work a forty hour week you will make approximately $15,000 per annum. $10 per hour comes to $20,000. $15 per hour rounds out to around $30,000.

80% of the workforce is on hourly wage. About 4 million make the minimum or 5% of the workforce. Vast majority of those are under 25.

In the US last year there were 31,076 homicides which comes to 85 per day or a little over 3 every hour. 10,000 were by gun. By contrast Germany and Canada had 200. Spain 100. and Australia around 50.

There are 275 million guns in the US. That’s 89 per 100 citizens. Serbia is in second with 58 per and Yemen third at 54. Interestingly Canada has 30, Palestine 3.4, Syria 3.9 and Viet Nam 1.7 per 100.

Since Newtown one year ago, 194 kids under 12 have been killed by guns. 127 of these were in their own homes.

There are 11.5 million undocumented(we used to call them illegal) immigrants in the US. 59% of those are of Mexican origin. There has been no new  net migration in the last two years. At least we have a number we can work with but unfortunately the problem is not going away.

Just for Fun:  Pour a drink and enjoy these two.

Google:……  Bob Hope Christmas | Big Geek Daddy

Put in your address line……http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3fgRV5N_qQ

Last weekend I decided to check out my new surroundings and since it was -5F what better time to amble over to the mall. It is a mere 1/4 mile and I of course have plenty of insulation. Opening hour is 10:00 AM but I arrive at 9:40 so it is time for a Starbucks. Not triple Chai non fat latte or whatever for me. Just a Venti black. Actually it is the only thing I know how to order.  Window shopping is next.

Whoa. The Apple store is open or so it would seem. There is a large dude that doesn’t really look Silicon Valley who is the official greeter. He is engaged with a potential patron so I slide by into the cyber wonder world. As I start to play with this or that the Big Boy gets me in his sights. Interloper. You don’t have an appointment! We don’t open til 10! But the door was open. Makes no difference we need an official Apple person to escort you around. I would like to tell you he was friendly and courteous. Not the case. Better move on TTG.

As I wandered down the walkway there were a few stores open including Brookstone. For the uninitiated this emporium is chock full of totally weird and useless things to either occupy your time or give to some unsuspecting relative. My type of place. The staff could not have been friendlier. Now chock a block with Hi Test caffeine my mind searched for answers. Apple didn’t want me in. These people couldn’t wait to relieve me of my cash. What’s wrong with this picture? I dropped a little over $150 in a matter of moments. What was I thinking? Maybe they got the message  I was the customer and not some shoplifter. Oh well.

It’s 10:00 now and I am out of here. Was this Black Friday? The loonies came out of the woodwork. Geez Louise. That lady got home and realized she had 15 “things” for Sally and only 13 for Mary. These people are on a mission and I am right smack dab in their way. Wait a minute this is December 7th. I feel like the USS Arizona and the Jap Zeroes are coming out of the sun. When in doubt, head for the Food Court.

This is really emblematic of our sophisticated palates. Where else in the civilized world could you have your choice of Cinnabuns, pizza or the Wok and Roll at this hour of the day? As it turns out there is a reason they are open this early. The place is packed….and not every one looks like they have just run five miles.

As I made my way home I couldn’t help but dwell on the scene of conspicuous consumption. Goods and food. There had been an ad on TV for a place called the Golden Corral. They now have a triple waterfall. You go up to this thing and stick ice cream, a cookie or your head underneath and presto chango you now have covered it in several layers of chocolate. And you can go back as many times as you want. That’s after bottomless ribs or southern fried chicken. And bring the kids. They are half price. If they served booze you would probably never leave.

When I got back to our high rise roost I opened my Denver Post. Sports page first of course. Lo and behold there is an article about Robinson Cano. It seems the Seattle Mariners are going to pay this dude $240 million over 10 years…..to play baseball. Now as always quick to decipher, I figure out that this guy is getting $65,000 a day for the next 3,650. Even more astute as I take management to task there is the fact that somehow you and I and every other loyal patron of Comcast or some other cable provider are PAYING FOR THIS. What the heck ? It is only a game.

Later on I chat with my nephew who pushes(I mean sells ) real estate on Long Island. Specializing in the Hamptons he tells of every manner of wildlife that has come to call the area home. They migrate every summer but not wanting to pack bags they are purchasing and not renting domiciles. There are plenty of wonderful scapes but none that quite meet the standards of our weary travelers. So they buy a place for $5-6 million and do what they have to. Tear it down. Then they rebuild twice the size on the same size lot and Voila you have Queens coming to the beach. I can’t make this stuff up.

Having had too much of a good thing I take my lovely bride to the movies….Last Vegas. This is a cute but reasonably funny fun flick. It tells of the Flatbush Four which is made up of old friends from the neighborhood in the 50’s. Morgan Freeman,Kevin Cline, Robert De Niro and Michael Douglas are the culprits who have gone their way in life but are getting together for one last stand in Vegas. There is no more over the top place in these United States.

As I watched the gambling and boobs parade by I couldn’t help but think of my last (truly last ) trip there. Everything is engineered to remove money form your wallet and still have you smile. I had a hooker greet me as I went down for coffee at 6:00 AM and ask me if I wanted to start my day off with a smile? I just guessed at the time because there are no clocks anywhere. As the credits rose at the end of the flick I thought about my passage in the everyday life of TTG.

There is nothing accusatory about my reflection. I am strictly observational. Do what you want to do. Let he who is without sin. Not this guy. But I do wonder if we have lost it and I mean perspective. Just go to the tape of the day and tell me if yours is much different. It seems we are driven and that is good. But do we have any brakes on these cars? Do we at least slow down for turns? I am all for pushing envelopes but did it ever occur to you we just might be pushing our luck? At the next exit I think I am just going to pull over and look at the   scenery. Then I will be back on the road but hopefully a little wiser. I haven’t lost it yet.

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids

Approximately 40 million people visit Las Vegas annually. The average age is 45. There are over 21,000 conventions per year. Watch out for those Shriners with the Fezes. They are a dead giveaway.  People gamble $9.4 billion  a year in Clark County.

As a country we spend $6 billion a year on Christmas lights. None of them work the next year. You can now have your lights put up by somebody for around $1000-1200

The US spends $700 per person on gifts with a GDP of $50,000. The Dutch spend $200 with a GDP of $40,000. I  guess that’s why they call it going dutch.

The average batting average for the major leagues is around 250. The average ERA is 3.85 Cable costs increase 5-10% per annum. It is estimated 50% of that cost is due to sports.

Food Consumption per person in United States

Poultry /Meat                                Cheese                         High Fructose Corn Syrup

1950                     138lbs                                     7.7lbs                                     0

2012                    200lbs                                     30lbs                                     42lbs

Obesity Rate 1950      9%                2012  35%

It is estimated 80% of today’s diseases(heart,cancer,diabetes etc) are caused by diet and environment and ergo  preventable.