We crave definition. We want to think of ourselves as special. Something that will make us stand out in the millennia from all the other schmucks that have walked the face of this earth. We tend to use an event, personality or accomplishment and dub it with being life altering for better or worse.

After separating a period of time we look back and cast a yea or nay as to its significance. Historians pore over it from every vantage point but it strikes me as interesting that we look back and try not to commit the same mistakes again. Rarely do we see it as a work in progress but rather something to look at from the rear view mirror. I find this intriguing in that respect. We only learn of our erroneous ways after we have screwed things up. There should be a better way.

Some of our folly in epochs is our desire to put our personal imprint on things. Obama, Bush, Clinton, all wanted to preserve their legacies. Obamacare, MidEast wars, peace talks are the consummate trophies of egotism. Jack Welch, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were indeed dynamic and rewarded shareholders alike. I admire their desire to make a change for the better but do we fall prey to man’s ego lest God forbid that person or company just be considered ordinary. Maybe a good steward should be ample reward. This is contrary to our current beliefs.
I have just read a Shepherd’s Life. It is the story of a young man in the dells of England whose entire being is wrapped up in the breeding and maintenance of sheep. His love and dedication of his chosen profession was palpable as he saw nature at its best and worst. He praised a sun that nourished his fields and cursed the snow and wind that presented incredible challenges to his very existence.

Throughout the book was reference to lineage and family. He was tending the flock as his family had for generations. It was a mantle he wore proudly and with a sense of ultimate responsibility. He would teach his children and hope they would continue on in his stead. He was constantly aware of new ideas to improve his breeds but there was also a way to do things that were time worn.

In former times the steward was a servant who made sure his area of expertise was up to snuff whether is be the castle itself or particular pieces like the scullery or wine cellar. Of course the latter would have been my druthers. As wont would have it the cream came to the top and eventually you were made El Supremo for the whole operation. Yet rarely did you deviate from the norm as this is the way we have always done things and if you don’t like it, leave.

There is a tranquility to this viewpoint but at what point does that breed mediocrity and blandness? Tough question. I think of nature itself. You know I consider the world as a whole and we all play our parts. The food chains and weather cycles have an order to them that I feel should not be broken. As man, do I look at it as my plunder to use any way I want or do I have a responsibility for it and its implications for every other being and organism?

Back to that pithy question of progress and at what cost? The Industrial Era has brought wealth to more than a few and our lives are undeniably better for it. The Technology Age is of the same. On the other hand our climate is changing. Did we cause it? Dunno, but I do believe many of our industries exacerbate whatever trend is present. We use fertilizer for our fields to increase yield but you only have to see the green slime of Lake Okeechobee to know that something is amiss.

The Graduate saw the future of the world in plastics. This substance has many incredible uses but at the same time it lives on in dumps and oceans for beyond our lifetimes. Can you really say ,”Tough shit” as you toss away your liter sized polystyrene Diet Coke bottle? Your styrofoam coffee cup is replicated billions of times a day. As you travel cross country the rusting hulks of autos, trucks and abandoned RV’s dot the landscape. Who cares? We have got plenty of room for empty fields and dump sites to “dispose “ of things. Yeah but for how long? Oh, I am sorry I forgot we will be long gone when that becomes a problem.

Let’s get back to good old capitalism. Have we really used our country’s financial resources properly? Do we spend smart or stupid? Do we really need five TVs in our houses? Could all the money we spend on defense be used to further healthcare or nutrition? We build golf courses in deserts. We have well manicured lawns extraordinare while one of biggest problems in the future is going to be the availability of water.

I am not joining the Sierra Club although their efforts are well taken. I am also not giving up my golf membership at wherever country club. But I do consider as I get on in years just what I am leaving my kids and grandkids and their kids to deal with. And that is really my point. I not only want to act but I want to THINK responsibly. As one gets caught up in the good life I just want us to stop for a moment and consider. Are we stewards of all we have been blessed with or are we just part of an Obscene Consumption Era that wants to emboss our generation with a monogram rather than commonweal? I am going to think about that and I hope you do too.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

We generate 250 million tons of trash every year as a nation. These are put in landfills or mountains of garbage which as they decompose create methane gas which is more lethal than carbon dioxide. 28% of the crud is wasted food. You do know that 35% of our foodstuffs are wasted due to throw away at the dinner table or spoiled meat and produce?

World military spending totaled more than $1.6 trillion in 2015. The U.S. accounted for 37 percent of the total. U.S. military expenditures are roughly the size of the next seven largest military budgets around the world, combined. U.S. military spending dwarfs the budget of the #2 country, China by almost three to one.

We spend $95 billion on medical research or about 18% of our military budget. We earmark a couple of billion for Alzheimers and around $500 mill on depression. That compares with $1.5 billion on addiction. Now if you understand that depression is a major cause of addiction do we have our priorities straight? By the way the new F22 Raptor airplane will have the Air Force paying about $340 million per copy.

The average household can waste up to 10,000 gallons of water per year by leaky pipes and faucets. We waste over 1.3 billion tons of food per annum which is bad enough but it took 45 trillion gallons of water to create that stuff we threw away. Simply amazing.

Sorry to miss last week. I hope someone noticed. Daughter Megan brought her three munchkins down to our current hideout in the Sunshine State. For the forty ninth time we are searching for Eden, Nirvana or whatever and we had to have the acid test of grandkids to move the discussions along. Being Padge is one of my favorite things to do and it supersedes even the writing of Ted’s Head.

Doting takes some effort. You start the day with the trio and moi making our way to Dunkin’ Donuts. Roll down the windows on the Lesbaru, open the sunroof and pump up the volume so your eardrums feel like trampolines. First big decision of the day…a half or full dozen? What do you think? Then the true test of agility is to pick out which cannonballs of grease make the final cut. Tyrone at the register is patient but somehow the aggressiveness of this East Coast crowd on line isn’t prone to pronouncing,”Aw, isn”t that cute?” They had other ways of putting it. It’s fun to watch the people in the drive in lane who can’t even get out of their car to order a donut.

Back home, the big box is inhaled in no time flat and we have to plan the day. Pool or beach? The sandy shores get the nod and here the sheer simplicity and beauty of childhood unfolds. Forget about Legos, iPads or phone apps, The time honored pail and shovels carry the day. The budding architects and builders plan their attack and the randomness of a sand castle let’s one’s imagination roam free. Only rule is “No Rules”.

Entering the surf brings on a whole new set of challenges. For the older ones the way is clear. Demonstrate how cool and courageous you are by going further and further out to sea. Then of course a parent freaks out and the whistles or hollering can be heard clear down to Miami. How can a guy look good in front of one’s peers if Mom is putting on a show?
For the little ones the scene is nowhere near the same. They brazenly run up to the water’s edge as the tide rolls out only to retreat in fear as that onrushing breaker seems like a twelve story building ready to topple. Then the inevitable happens. Whether they muster the courage to face the onrushing surf or perhaps they got caught in between waves, they get floored. Disoriented and wobbly, they start inhaling salt water and their surroundings have taken on a combination of a sandy brown and flotsam hue. Almost a metaphor for our world today. Time to regroup.

We are not in LaLa land here but there are aspects of this whole thing that scare the crap out of me. The beach is a few miles away and the St Lucie River serves as my water fix. It is broad and somewhat serene. People are active in doing mundane things and it takes on this aura of a camp in New Hampshire that I adored when I was a young lad. At some point in time during the day you happen by the main clubhouse for this or that. There is this communal thing that is not overwhelming but just sort of there.

Why do I go into all of this? Simply put, I am wondering if I should be like my grandkids. Down here they make do and become creative with whatever is around. They seem content to just be with each other. The locals here are prone to have a simple life. There are no talks of politics or wealth. You just sort of do your thing. I keep having the guilts that I should be involved in deep conversations and trying to at least solve a small portion of the problems of the world. Can I sit back and just let the world go by? Dunno.

I got to thinking about all of us in this crazy country of ours. We have universities to learn and seek alternative thought yet we become embroiled in controversy. We want an education but on our terms. Professors themselves who should be the bastions of freedom of expression seem hell bent on pushing just one line of thinking. I asked my daughter if she and her husband were willing to drop $250,000 in today’s dollars to educate their children according tot the reigning schools of thought? Interesting question, Padge.

I got to thinking of all I, and yes we have. I do see people being gassed in Syria or 750,000 people in the Townships of Johannesburg living in not much more than a cargo container. Even our worst slums could not compare to the horror of war nor pestilence and despair of these God forsaken people. We say we are hungry or as the wags say “nutrition deficient”. Compare that lack of goodies to the people of South Sudan who have not seen food or clean water for months. Their kids are skeleton like and dying of starvation.

I am not so much trying to give all of us a case of the guilts as I am trying to sensitize myself and maybe some of you to just say thank you to whatever god you worship. We have so much and take so much for granted. We throw away or let rot 30% of the food we produce. We have the ability to walk into a store on Fifth Avenue or even a bodega in a barrio and see them stocked with whatever. We can say whatever we want and plot our own future without fear.

No matter your circumstances or ills that befall you, we got it good. Old or young we should lower our expectations and yearning for this or that. Man, we demand so much from medical treatment to social security to a lifestyle that befits our importance. We are simply Spoiled Rotten. That ’s okay as long as we know it.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Starvation is a severe deficiency in caloric energy intake needed to maintain an organism’s life. It is the most extreme form of malnutrition. In humans, prolonged starvation can cause permanent organ damage and eventually, death. 3.5 million kids under the age of five die every year from starvation. That is just slightly less that the population of the city limits of Los Angeles.

The revenue obtained from the sale of games and toys within the United States alone was estimated to reach close to $23 billion by the close of 2014. We spend anywhere from $400 to $1,000 on iPads or similar devices. A pail and shovel at Walgreens cost about five bucks.

10 billion donuts a year are consumed by me and my fellow Americans. 20% of our meals are consumed in our cars. Data from the U.S. Department of Agriculture found that in 2011 the average American consumed nearly one ton of food. That’s 1,996 pounds of food a year.

Average home size in US is around 2200 sf. Australia is approximately 2500 sf. Hong Kong 482 sf. UK is 850 sf and France is 1100sf.

I ran five miles this morning. Not exactly at warp speed but at least I finished. When I returned to the hacienda my wife declared me nuts. I would like to tell you it was the first time she had uttered such a profundity but it was merely the first time today. Why do I practice such insanity? First it supports my bad habits, sort of an offset for cigars scotch and the like. It also is a great time to think.

Now as I trod down the various byways of this seaside development I tried to set out a group of standards to be met in whatever lay ahead for us. As I delve into people, places and things I realize the major prerequisite for a nice life has nothing to do with the accoutrements that daily life provides but rather what is going on in my brain, soul or whatever. What is it that floats my boat or dare I say is my pursuit of happiness? I would have to jog fifty miles just to get started.

But seriously, Kathy and I have discussed that it’s not where you are situated or what you have but what is it that gets you up in the morning. Great stepping off point. If your life’e expectations are to play golf, or go to your job or study Aristotle and do so in a fairly routine way then that is easy. Just put your life on cruise control and I don’t say so in a demeaning way. Not everyone wants to climb Everest or run a major corporation or even be Pope. Just maybe for you the beauty in life is to just be ordinary. We should not make that sound so mundane or terrible.

I gave some of my corpuscles yesterday and had a wonderful chat with two of the phlebotomists since business was slow.One wanted to go on to be a nurse and perhaps eventually a doctor. The other saw herself as part of a process that eventually was the difference between life and death for some accident victim or cancer patient. For her drawing blood or making calls to get people in was just as important as every other step in the chain. She was psyched. How refreshing !

I began looking around and engaging throughout the day. I chatted with the guy putting out golf balls on the range. He had been in the airline industry and got laid off. He had done other things but this he really loved. Huh? He said he was providing a service and he took great pride in making sure everything was just right. He said he loved being outdoors and this job was perfect. A lucky man.

I kept on observing. There were some men doing landscaping or to be more specific weeding and trimming. I asked how they were doing? They couldn’t be loving grunt work but ah I was mistaken. They loved to bring things to life and to see the beauty that flower beds provided. It didn’t seem to be a massah and slave relationship. One had tried college and said it wasn’t for him. He liked the people he worked for. Seems they pay well and look out for their employees. One of the members at the club here actually took to teaching English to those horrible immigrant workers whether they were illegal or not. Maybe that nasty rich man had found meaning in a totally different way. I might learn to like this place.

As I wandered further throughout the day it seemed that my interactions with people of all sorts gave me a good feeling inside. Not egocentric but by opening up to someone and having them reach back to me was not only a communication but thinking about what this thing called life is really about. As I cogitate one of my true joys in life is being able to be open up and yes, be vulnerable. Those people could have thought I was weird(not an unusual reaction to me) or just some well to do rich guy. Lucky for me it did not work out that way.

I have spoken of my cigar buddies and how much I treasure those moments. With a few of you out there I have gone deep into conversation. We have gone beyond ball scores and politics and gotten into some serious subjects. Some philosophical and some controversial. At times at least for me I have said, “Holy shit I can’t believe I am saying that.” And then not having induced shrieks and condemnation you take a step further. It just feels good to be unfiltered. Kind of just letting it rip. Not an easy venture in today’s world.

You might be a young person who feels you are far too busy or even important to entertain these random thoughts. Others might be too old to change. You have life down pat and there are no further questions. I hope there are some of you who might just pause and give some thought to what I have written. It seems one of the keys to happiness is the willingness to develop deep friendships and communicate with your fellow man or woman in pure honesty. I just wanted to let you know there is a kindred spirit out there.

Going back out to life’s highway.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Just one: If you want to study personal service go to a Publix Super Market. I don’t know if it is a corporate culture or just an incredible training program. Every employee in that store greets you, wants to help in any way and asks you to come back. I have never seen anything like it in any other large chain.

I am sitting here, pen or keyboard in hand and trying to come up with some clever witticisms or pithy comments to assure you and myself that all is well with our world. I am struggling. I want to work on my golf game but I find this gnawing in my gut that can’t be denied. I want to have a conversation that does not involve politics or basketball or SNL but it always keeps coming back like a vortex that wants to suck you in.

Of course I pride myself by the company I keep which is why you are all on such a select list. We are the learned ones, the seers, the titans of industry, medical wizards et alia. If we are all so damn smart why do we have so much strife? The problems from healthcare to education to tax reform to immigration have been out there for years and yet we keep doing the dance. A little sparring, a clinch or two and then back to our respective corners.

I had a conversation last night with an acquaintance just trying to elucidate the top five in our myriad of problem children today. I brought up the fact that a vast majority of baby boomers don’t have bupkus in the bank for retirement. It is not because I am doing okay and they aren’t but rather this is a crisis that we will all share in. His response was somewhat startling. He merely said the government would take care of it. The simplicity of his answer may portend the future.

We boomers are part of a crazy generation. Make love not war was the catchphrase and Woodstock would go on forever. Just smoke a toke and all your troubles will go away. While in Hawaii some very old hippies came into the ice cream store and you could see they were just waiting for the next big wave. Forget about what means of support they had presently as opposed when they are old and broken do we all foot the bill? I guess Uncle Sam will and ultimately you and me.

On the subject of healthcare there seems to be a bigger piece than who pays for what. Did it ever occur to any of us there is a finite amount of money we can throw at the problem? We spend $10,000 per person per year on healthcare. I don’t know about you but I don’t. And it goes higher and higher. Do we do away with roads, bridges, defense and other sciences and put it all into medical costs and Social Security? Can we pay $300,000 for a drug to extend someone’s life for three months when they are 85 years old? Don’t even raise that question TTG. We are a civil society no matter what the cost. The inability to address that could just bring that little Fantasyland down big time.

Immigration reform is insanity. I get a number of emails from very well meaning people about one side or the other. The nightly news will bring story after story of a family busted up because of a deportation. The tears and mayhem give everyone the guilts.On the other hand people will raise a defiant hand saying this land is our land and no one else’s. Send them sons of bitches back. Nice rhetoric that leaves out any sense of practicality. If we sent them all back who will cut lawns, wait tables or staff our hospitals and yes do important research? In sheer demographics with the number of people reaching retirement age we are going to become woefully short of just enough people to work and pay taxes that will support SS and Medicare. Sorry. Don’t know what I was thinking.

Where do we go? A former classmate from Georgetown, Roger Altman wrote an oped for the Wall Street Journal about what the Dems have to do to get back in power. A very well written piece but to me it consisted of structural deficiencies as it only related to gerrymandering and getting younger people involved. I was hoping to see more of a trend to less emotional and more business like approaches to the above and more. Chaos reigns in DC right now and indeed we need a totally new approach rather than refining one’s message. Admittedly he hoped for this but in our populist world is it possible?

It seems we have left the planning to those who have ascended to power and the bureaucrats alike.One is based on glad-handing and the other is lauded for consistency and perpetuating programs. Mr Altman does point out that if the managers of the Democratic party were in a corporation they would all be fired for poor results. As a country both on national and local levels we do have a zillion dollar business and we are its stockholders.

The current playbook of the Donald is being decried for its lack of transparency. Rex Tillerson has not held a news conference. Wilbur Ross was wearing Gucci slippers to the State of Chaos address. This is really getting nuts. True they will be taking hatchets not scalpels to various programs. I am not a Trumpists but can anyone tell me the old way is better?

We are truly in a critical situation. It has been created by an egotistical and terribly sensitive CEO, a press that is in a frenzy of salacious detail and politicians that have more time in front of microphones that they do in their committees. Shut down the tweets. Turn down the blare on reporting. Disband the dais and bands of brothers and sisters appearing on capitol steps throughout our country. Lock everybody up on a farm in Idaho and don’t let them out until there is substantive progress is made. No press. No phones. No leaks.

Then we have a shareholder meeting where we can question and vote down management if we deem them inadequate. No golden parachutes. No cushy deals. Just results. Sound impossible? Maybe. But then again Trump did get elected didn’t he? Wonders never cease.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

When President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Social Security Act into law over 80 years ago this month, he said that while “ we can never insure one hundred percent of the population against one hundred percent of the hazards and vicissitudes of life … we have tried to frame a law which will give some measure of protection to the average citizen and to his family against the loss of a job and against poverty-ridden old age.” Hmmm! 4.9% of GDP

 
• Per capita national health expenditures: $9,523 (2014)
• Total national health expenditures: $3.0 trillion (2014)
• Total national health expenditures as a percent of Gross Domestic Product: 17.5%
• Percent of national health expenditures for hospital care: 32.1% (2014)
• Percent of national health expenditures for nursing care facilities and continuing care retirement communities: 5.1% (2014)
• Percent of national health expenditures for physician and clinical services: 19.9% (2014)
• Percent of national health expenditures for prescription drugs: 9.8% (2014)

Pew Research

There were 11.1 million unauthorized immigrants in the U.S. in 2014,

The U.S. civilian workforce included 8 million unauthorized immigrants in 2014, accounting for 5% of those who were working or were unemployed and looking for work,

Mexicans made up 52% of all unauthorized immigrants in 2014, though their numbers had been declining in recent years.

The US admits approximately 1,000,000 legal immigrants per year.

Six states accounted for 59% of unauthorized immigrants in 2014: California, Texas, Florida, New York, New Jersey and Illinois

A rising share of unauthorized immigrants have lived in the U.S. for at least a decade.

We have just completed another crossing of this incredible country of ours…by car. In the fast paced world we all live it is always good for the soul. I am consistently amazed how the blah landscape of Kansas can hold one’s attention. Who are these people and what do they make of all this madness we live in? Are they part of it or just innocent bystanders?

The deep loam is giving birth to all things green.The towns spring to life in a more gentle way. On Saturday we watched the sun come up and set in the same day. When was the last time we did that? Anywhere,USA , Population:223. Everyone is family and the kids can’t wait to get out to seek fortune somewhere else. Will there be anyone left to feed our insatiable appetites or will we dream up some way to put molecules together obviating the need for such mundane things?

Just outside of Kanarado, (there is such a place) wind turbines have mated and multiplied since our last trek. Not dozens but hundreds of the behemoths silently churn out a cleaner fuel. The conservationists cry of the death of birds that seem to fly into these things in some sort of kamikaze insanity. These days everything has its price.

As we rode along we listened to NPRX which is a series of stories on a myriad of topics. One that stood out was a Ted Talk on algorithms. It seems that Google, Facebook, Apple et alia have the ability to know when you query, just who you are, your age, sex, where you live, what type of computer you are using, what you have bought over time and what you are most likely to like in the future. Kind of fascinating when you consider how much we worry about our privacy vis a vis the NSA and wiretaps.

More interesting or disturbing as the case might be is that the news you receive is preordained. For instance you and I could put in the same request and get two entirely different front pages from Google. Yes, the content is the same but in a different order. They want to give you what you are most prone to agree with. As the replies become more and more refined and so called suited to you, there is now a total lack of contrary opinion. You are getting one side of the story. It is almost like your world is now tuned nonstop to FOX or MSNBC depending on what THEY perceive you to be. Hmm. No wonder we are at odds with each other.

Another talk was by a young lady of 17. She lived in the Northwest. Until she came forward she had been sexually abused by her father since she was 10. He controlled her entire life from what she wore to who she saw. She thought this was all normal until she confided in a friend.Dad went away for a long time. As the miles and her story sped by you have to be appalled at the sheer depravity of what she was relating. At the end they tell you she is far from alone and 85% of the victim suffer in silence for fear of retribution or ostracism. Yikes!

I guess where this leads me is that until you sit up and take notice the world seems sanguine. Life goes on in little burghs and big cities. We can shrug our shoulders and accept it all as we zip by on the freeways of life or we can at least give pause to realize the consequences of being in all aspects of our society. Heady stuff? Not really. There is a lot of good in the world and there is a lot of bad but you have to look under the hood to see it for all it is.

It is intriguing to descend through several different altitudes and ecosystems. We came from 5280 down to 0 above sea level. We stopped at gas stations throughout. In some the clerks were a little too cheery. it was another story in Somewhere, Tennessee.The checkout lady here was not a happy woman. She was either having a bad day or got up every morning, spit out a couples of nails and lit up a Camel. As I brought my items to be purchased I could almost hear her singing “You can take this job and shove it”.

We stopped at two highway inns along the way and the people were beyond pleasant. In St Louis we had gone too far for the day and as darkness fell we dumped ourselves at the first Holiday Inn we could find. As we entered the lobby we realized we were the only white people to be counted. All my Common Man BS came to the fore and we said, here goes. Turns out these people had come to a funeral in St Louis and this was the after party. They were just cerebrating some lady’s life as I had for my buddy Tom three weeks prior. I told the grieving brother about that and we shook hands. Nothing more . Nothing less. A lesson learned.

As usual we are exploring alternatives. We are contemplating new locations…again. This is not just me but my incurable wanderlust virus has now invaded my bride’s beautiful cranium. Who knows? Never a dull moment with these two. Tune in to find out what these loonies are plotting next.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Our itinerary covered 2008 miles. It took 26 hours over two and one half days. To go from New York to San Francisco is 2906 miles. From Caribou, Maine to Key West Florida is 2045 miles. Our southern border with Mexico is 1989 miles. When you are thinking of walls it is interesting to ponder these figures.

There are over 200,000 wind turbines operating throughout the world. We used to lead the world in terms of numbers and generating power but we have been surpassed by Europe, especially in Germany and Spain. Getting this power to the user is the biggest challenge. The sites are usually many miles away and in remote areas requiring power lines which localities and conservationists are averse to giving permission for.

Globally, approximately 18–19% of women and 8% of men disclose being sexually abused when they were children.Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often fathers, uncles or cousins; around 60% are other acquaintances such as friends of the family, babysitters, or neighbors. Strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men. Oops! I guess I wasn’t supposed to talk about this.

The Art of Loving is an marvelous book written by Erich Fromm back in the fifties. If you can remember back that far? The main gist is that we have to work at love beyond the initial swoon.It is incredibly complex.  It seems to be an apt title for this week’s missive in that my topic is self esteem. I have been batting around ideas with an old friend who is struggling right now. To me it is key to so many things in life it deserves a lot of attention. .

Self esteem is simply our subjective judgement of our worth in society. How do we stack up in relation to the rest of the world? The tough part is we are doing the grading as both pupil and professor. We are constantly under scrutiny as to our beliefs, looks, clothing and status in life.

A lack of it is one the prime symptoms of depression. We put ourselves down in so many ways it is tough to crawl out of the hole. We glare at people and say,”What are looking at?” when we are probably the furthest thing from their mind. We berate a waiter or supposedly lesser person just to make ourselves feel good. Doesn’t work. Then the feelings of guilt and frustration pull us lower and lower.

It is personified in strange ways. Perfectionism is one. We are never good enough. We keep trying to achieve the unachievable. We set absurd standards for us and others in the hope we will be more lovable. It can’t be done. On the other side of the coin it spawns procrastination. If I don’t make a move then I can’t be wrong. Inaction eventually leads to feelings of inadequacy. Sad but true.

The one I love is people being late. We stall and find stupid tasks that seemingly must be accomplished before our entrance. We crave attention and the “TaDa” moment. Fashionably late means I want to be noticed. If you piss people off, all the better. You have made your mark and the rudeness becomes self reinforcing. Kind of like a diva without the autographs.

In all cases we always see the world from our own point of view. It’s our game and our rules. We refuse to accept counter philosophies and we become infuriated at any hint of alternative thought. That is opposed to “alternative facts” of course. Which brings us to our current cause celebre, the Donald.

Narcissism is extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration. This term is bantered around as it relates to His Hairness and may not be far from the truth. It is somewhat counter to lack of self esteem in that it is probably too much of it. The favorite letter is “I” and you had better fall in line. Some fear authoritarianism and dictatorship. I just look at it as another ego run amok. There are plenty of culprits in DC, Hollywood, New York and cites far and wide. Legends in their own minds.

The underlying feature of all this is the inability to judge oneself honestly. None of us are perfect and never will be. Who hasn’t dreamed of fame and fortune? It is holding onto that fantasy through life is where the trouble starts. It starts in childhood where doting parents praise your accomplishments in the same way your failures. You can do no wrong and will be great. No matter how good or badly you perform you look for the adulation and reinforcement. Look again.

Hopeless? Of course not, as long as you are willing to face facts. We are not talking about self flagellation but a good hard look. Dare I call it a dose of reality? We have to set bars but let’s be reasonable. I love it when a professional golfer eyes a 60’ putt and then bemoans it when it comes up short. A mere mortal is despondent because he or she only made $10 million last year. The average American thinks everyone is entitled to a new care every year or a 5,000 sf house. Get real.

I have stated before that our world loves to put us down. Not verbally but visually. From childhood to death’s door, everyone is prey to the fine art of promotion and advertising. Next time, study that 30 second spot. You will not get the girl if you don’t drive this truck or drink this beer. Every femme has to look like a Victoria Secret model. Get the latest in technology to hit your drive 6 yards further this year. Don’t be left behind. Don’t fail to measure up to our absurd fantasies. When you fall short, the drop is precipitous.

Getting back to that love thing it comes down to loving yourself for who you are, warts and all…and we all have them. Figure out how good your are not by what you have but what’s in your soul.There is a sense of calm when you get there. That old feeling comfortable in your own skin. Then you are not a fraud with a designer personality. You are just you. Doesn’t mean you can’t strive but don’t set yourself up for failure.

Even better look at the world around you. Do you get short because people are not living up to your standards? Do you want to change the world to your terms? Did you marry your spouse hoping they would change or do you love those annoying habits as part of their persona? Idiosyncrasies? I think a better term is unconditional love not only for those close to you but for you yourself. Look in the mirror and enjoy the ride.

As always,
Ted The Great

Factoids:

There are about 5,000 books listed on Amazon for self esteem. Probably the same is true for self improvement. Now does that mean we are unhappy with ourselves or just trying to be better? Dunno the answer to that one.

Ann Landers once said that when we are 20 we wonder what people think of us. When we are 40 we don’t care. When we are 60 we realize that all that time no one was thinking about us at all.

“That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending – performing. You get to love your pretense. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act – and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you’re trying to steal their most precious possession.”― Jim Morrison Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Note: My most wonderful friend Tom Cousins died of a massive heart attack Saturday in Denver. He was briefly on life support and then passed in the afternoon.Kathy and I are in Hawaii and there is no flight that can get me home in time for his funeral. If Ted’s Head is about what happens to be on my mind at a particular moment then this is all that has been on my mind since Saturday. I hope you understand.
Wish I Was There…

As opposed to wish you were here…. in Hawaii. Cousins always had a flair for the dramatic. During our stay he had been emailing me at 5:00AM in the morning Hawaii time from Command Central in Broomfield. He would say in disbelief, “Are you in a different time zone?” Really,Tom?

We loved to chat on the phone. He would call and as I picked it up and barked in a gruff voice,”What do you want?” (he loved it when I was petulant) he would always come back an exaggerated “Teddddddy” We would go on about this topic or that. He would listen to my rantings and ravings about something in the news and then he would take off on his own tear. After a period of insanity we would always laugh.I could hear his giant grin over the phone. I can still see it now. Kathy would always ask, incredulously “Who was that on the phone?” Cousins, of course.

It was the same smile and handshake that was omnipresent as I would walk into that den of iniquity, Churchills at the Brown Palace. He was almost like a political boss assembling his troops in some smoke filled room….literally. As John Horan put it, he was a chemist at getting people in the right spot to get the conversation going. He would have a cup of tea or a diet Coke until he gave the proverbial “Well,I will have just one”.

He would tell me to come down and it would just be me and him or maybe John for a quiet get together. When you got there, the table numbered at least 7 or 8. He would corral one reprobate after another and too often got stiffed with the bill because he was always such a big hearted knucklehead. I still say he had the best Rolodex in Denver.

I would bring my own stick but he always had this cigar or that hidden in the cherry humidor that was brought out for him and Horan. The robusto had some strange name and he had the requisite story to go with it. You could almost see it being rolled in some far away cigar factory. He was the consummate politician and salesman rolled into one. He was simply the best.

When Horan called me on Saturday morning I sat there in disbelief as he described the tragedy in the making. It was as if someone belted me in the stomach. I sent an email to some of you and as I hit the send button I hesitated as I wanted to make sure I had heard things correctly. This couldn’t be….but it was.

I kept eying my phone for John to tell me that it was over. His daughter Leigh had made it in some miraculous way from LA. God bless that airline, however it worked. His son Tommy and his loving wife Diane had their time to say good bye. In a horribly selfish vein I wish I had mine. Kathy and I played golf for nothing more than something to do. The news of Tom’s passing flashed as I got to eighteenth tee. I cracked one of my best drives ever. Then I had a bit of difficulty on my next few shots. It is hard to see the ball through tear filled eyes.

Later on I went down to the beach, lit a cigar and began to sip on a very stiff vodka and tonic. I called Horan and as we talked I began to really cry. The crescendo of emotion overwhelmed me. This was simply heartbreaking. I felt for John and Andrea and Tommy and Leigh. Most of all I felt for Diane. She had called me and I could not believe she had the presence to do so. We chatted briefly because she sounded so tired and wrung out. Yet she described the whole day and I was beyond gratified. Somehow she knew I wanted to be there.

It had been cloudy all day here in more ways than one. The ominous storm clouds went all the way to the horizon. But as I sat there on the shore, thin shafts of light began to pierce the gloom. Then they got larger and before you know it there was a whole lotta sunshine streaming down. The Big Boy was already working his magic.

If I was with friends at the wake on Wednesday night, I would recount some of the tomfoolery (no play on words) of our fishing trips to Black Lake. Tom organized a dozen or so screwballs for this annual trip. He saw to every detail. He was so incredibly thoughtful of everything. After cocktails he would preside over dinner but giving everyone their do. He would feed you a question and he knew you would take the ball and run with it. He was an artist and this was his canvas and he was truly in all his glory.

The most important thing to note once again was his ever present huge smile. He had the heartiest of laughs that I always describe as a “belly laugh”.It came from his generous gut but more importantly it came from his soul. He was a showman, a provocateur and a Damon Runyon like character. He just had that way.

He was so happy son Tommy had moved to Denver. I would catch him micromanaging every so often but he was just so proud of him. He was looking forward to Leigh’s wedding in California and you could see the wheels already turning as he was probably planning out the seating arrangements.

Most importantly was Diane. She was always so caring and loving and most of all accepting of all his screwball moves. A lot of wives tolerate their husbands, mine included. Diane seems to revel in it. Who else would travel to a cocktail party and dinner in Chicago with people you didn’t really know? She even showed up at the “Church” one afternoon with His Nibs nowhere in sight. My and Kathy’s heart goes out to her.

I will close now before I get incredibly sad all over again. I will go to mass at a little church Thursday morning at 7:00 AM which will coincide with the 10:00 funeral in Denver. I will pray for my buddy but just as much for Diane, Tommy,Leigh, John and Andrea Horan and all of us for what we have lost. Rest in peace, brother. We love you.

As always
Ted The Great

Posted from the Kohala Coast,Hawaii

I have been confined to quarters. It is my own doing. No, I did not get arrested nor fall ill. On Tuesday I got this brilliant idea I was going to take a run. Now mind you, heretofore I might take a two or two and a half mile jog but this day I was going to do more. I ran 4.6 miles and didn’t feel too bad. Of course when I got back I had to do my weight routine. Then to finish things off nicely I played 18 holes of golf. You get the picture. Most of my major muscle groups are frozen in place.

Looking for the most comfortable chair I could find, I chose the veranda off our room. I settled in with nothing more than my notebook. I looked out over this resort and marveled that a couple of decades ago someone saw these acres of lava and envisioned greenery and villas and homes. This whole concept of creativity got in my brain. It seems to me it is not especially new ideas but a different way of looking at things. Kind of like Leonardo’s Curiositae. I was going to give things a closer look.

DaVinci’s best exercise is to see how many different shades of green you can see in a landscape. There are a bunch. Then I heard the sounds of birds. Not just the loudmouth outside our window but all sorts of shrill tweets and perhaps a melodious coo here and there. What were they saying to each other? Was it romance or a dire warning of predators nearby. My senses piqued and I began to just look and listen. The cacaphony was stunning and the vista came alive in a totally different way.

Scribbling frantically I happened to think of my little environ. I looked at the chair I was sitting in and wondered where it came from. It was a plastic rattan and that alone made it a product that was formed from a petroleum derivative. How many people and materials went in to manufacturing and transporting this one object on this porch. The cushions? How was the material woven and who made the dye to form the pattern. There were designers and factory workers, middlemen, shipping clerks and loaders and drivers. Jeez Louise this is getting nuts.

I continued on as I had a new insight into construction and supply chains. The windows, doors, door hardware, bannisters, counters, appliances, appliance parts, phones, TVs. All were the fruits of a bunch of different people’s labors. Probably thousands of mere mortals had some hand in this condo and I dare say I was one of a infinitesimal group of people whoever gave it a thought. When I looked down my scribblings already consumed four pages and this was after no more than 15-20 minutes.

I would go on to think of the tourist industry. The hotels, buses, planes, flight crews, ground crews, controllers, executives, marketing, reservationists, golf carts, golf clubs. Yadda Yadda Yadda. It is astounding how many people I come into contact with and never give a thought as to their whereabouts or welfare. Never stoped to say hello or thank you. Imagine if we did? We are so short, impatient, demanding, obtuse and uninterested. Perfectly understandable in our frenetic world but still sad.

Now some will say I am creative but I would like to tell you that we all are. I can prove it. Several years ago Kathy and I went to an Italian restaurant in Vail with some old friends. They were teachers in a local school and they would laugh at the start of dinner waiting for one of TTG’s leading questions. The tables were covered with white butcher paper and every seating got an ample supply of crayons. Perfect for kids just like us.

This time I decided to put a word in the middle of the paper. It could have been Vail or mountain or Italian. It didn’t make any difference. Then in rapid fire I asked each one to give me a word that came to mind. I started drawing strings of words at a feverish pace. We might go back to the center and try a whole new track. This went on for about fifteen minutes and of course now fueled by some vino we could probably use some more paper. In the long run we had been creative and just let our imaginations run loose without any fear of judgment or retribution.

As I cogitate about this we might be onto something. Get a large piece of paper and try it yourself. Bring other members of the family or perhaps a work team. Kids are the best because they are totally uninhibited. There are no economic boundaries. Rich man, poor man. Mansion or hovel. We are talking paper and crayons and nothing more except our God given brains. In a school or office we don’t have any expense except for a white board and some markers.

Two things happen here. There is a sense of collaboration that we all did something. Almost as if we were making a tapestry, mural or mosaic. We can look at it and take pride. We break down walls between us and get a new appreciation of the other person. The fantastic part is that is in there and we now have a perfect way to get it out. Granted there will be naysayers and stick in the muds but hey, they will miss out on all the fun.

Now all of this started by my looking around and trying to see better what had been there all along. I am not special. It does not take an MBA or PHD. The marvelous thing called our brain just needs to be brought out of cold storage. It is exhilarating and doesn’t require a computer or game console to reach those heights. The world is a fantastic place all on its own. Just think about it.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

3M Corporation is the epitome of creativity in the business world. One of its strengths is how it treats promising employees: give them opportunities, support them, and watch them learn and thrive. They literally sit around and bounce ideas off one another. Trial and error is encouraged. Probably 90% of their ideas are shelved or trashed but it is the process that makes them great.

We are actually thinking about 50% of the time. Most of us are plagued with thoughts that arise seemingly without cause.It’s not ADD but part of our multi tasking, intrusive world. It’s rare to experience more than a few moments without some thought arising. Many of the thoughts that arise in the mind are supportive of emotions of anxiety, ill will, neurotic craving, and self-doubt. Ugh!

Our mind plays tricks on us. We tend to gravitate towards ideas and concepts that we have been exposed to and accept. There is a natural tendency to go to a comfort zone. It is only through experiencing alternate points of view that our observations and judgments become more valid.

When you land at the airport in Kona, Hawaii the runway is surrounded by huge lava fields.Your first reaction is you have landed on the moon or Mars. It is somewhat alarming as you have anticipated swaying palm trees and hula girls not a rust colored mountain of rubble. Then as they open the door and roll up the open air stairway you know why you came.
The first of many Alohas greet you on the way to the terminal if you can call it that. It too is open air and just a shade above functional. Who needs anything else as simplicity is the word? There is none of the glitz or opulence that dots Oahu and Honolulu. The rental cars are Mustang convertibles or Ford sedans. Just perfect for some luggage and two sets of golf clubs.

You travel down a two lane highway where people do the speed limit. Not sure why but hey, when in Rome do as the Romans do. Get used to it because the tone throughout is not lackadaisical but measured. The people are gentle and welcoming but please don’t bring your big city attitude. It just doesn’t work.

The Big Island is the largest of eight which are inhabited although the archipelago is fifteen hundred miles in length. This the heart of Oceania and the nearest land mass is over 2,000 miles away. It all started hundreds of thousands of years ago as the ocean floor started belching magma. The process continues today on the other side of the island. You have probably seen lava creeping down the hillside on TV. It is not as scary as you would think.

Of course everything from diet tonic to soup comes by boat. The distribution channels must be awesome, however impracticality does sometimes prevail. There is this crazy little thing called the Jones Act of 1920 which prohibits any foreign flagged cargo ship to travel between two American ports. So ships on the way from the Orient cannot drop off whatever on the way to the US. It has to go to a west coast port and then be transported back to Hawaii. The Donald has to get to work on that one.

This whole new version of Ted’s magical mystery tour has been conjured up to give the divine Mrs K some warmth in the winter. After a brief stop off at home we are going to continue this quest in Florida. Several questions rear their ugly head. Not the least of them is whether or not our brains will go soft or thrive in such a relaxed atmosphere? Considering the proximity of mine to senility the danger could be looked upon as imminent.

Mornings are simple. It starts off with a mega walk along the ocean path. You say hello to people as they pass and believe it or not they say hello back. This trek is not a mission to prove my athletic prowess but a chance to think about all things essential. The only big difference is we have had no time of viewing the boob tube. We check on line headlines but we have ignored the mayhem in DC and elsewhere. We are not checking out of society but seeing what other parts of our craniums need attention.

Along the way there are people sitting on the rocks or benches just looking out at the sea. I think back to our recent trips to the Cape of Good Hope in Africa or the southeastern most point in the UK. Perhaps it was our voyage across the Atlantic. Either way you get this incredible sense of the vastness of the world and sorry to say our real insignificance in the grand order of things. If you consider the Pacific with its island nations and the awesome depths of the Marianas Trench your swelled head gets taken to task.

Devoid of blabber you consider a bunch of things. You think of family and friends and especially those that are in the middle of a particular strife. I am going to write to them for no other reason than to let them know they have someone out there. You begin to ponder what is really important in life. The homes here are gorgeous but they are subdued. Rather than wowing you with glitz they open up to the outdoors and the sea. A very special place.

Not all is sleek either. When you travel across the island to the windward side there is a time warp. In Hilo the buildings are from the 1900’s and are showing their wear. There are homeless and they seem more desperate even though they never face freezing temps. Whether ravaged by drugs of a Hippie era or alcoholism they appear lost in time and space. The climate is good but the way of life gritty.

At a local farmer’s market the fruit is right form the fields. I learned how to tell if a pineapple is ripe. You smell its bottom. What else? We went to the Volcano National Park and then completed our circumnavigation of the island. I hope all tourists do this trip. It puts everything into perspective.

Pardon the travelogue. We are so fortunate to be here and I just wanted to tell you there is civilization out there if you just look. You probably can’t walk along the ocean but you can find a park or a walkway in your town or city. You can clear your head and breathe in a little bit of fresh air. You can just say as Izzy does, What A Wonderful World. “This is Tranquility Base to Denver et al, Over and out”

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Polynesian seafarers travelled north hundreds of years ago in outriggers with family and possessions aboard. How they found these Hawaiian Islands literally blows one’s mind? The Polynesian heritage has blended with Asians who came here in search of work.

Hawaii became a state in 1959. This was the end result of foreign and American businessman who had previously turned out the monarchy around 1900. There are those natives on the islands who would like to see it turned back to an independent nation. Non natives are not held in the highest regard and if you want to be in business you better have local as partner.

Because the islands of Hawaii are distant from other land habitats, life is thought to have arrived there by wind, waves (i.e. by ocean currents) and wings (i.e. birds, insects, and any seeds they may have carried on their feathers, in their beaks or droppings). INCREDIBLE!

Hawaii’s tallest mountain Mauna Kea is 13,796 ft above mean sea level; it is taller than Mount Everest if measured from the base of the mountain, which lies on the floor of the Pacific Ocean and rises about 33,500 feet

In 2009, the United States military spent US$12.2 billion in Hawaii, accounting for 18% of spending in the state for that year. 75,000 United States Department of Defense personnel live in Hawaii.

My apologies to Robespierre but after this weekend the femmes take top billing. I almost didn’t write this week. Inaugurations, marches, playoff games. What’s a guy to think? Even good old Fr. Pat tossed a grenade into my poor little brain on Sunday but here I am for better or worse.

At first, the Women’s March was startling. Not for the incredible attendance throughout the world but for the tenor of the rhetoric. As Madonna et alia F Bombed their way through their cheerleading, the vitriol was beyond evident. I understand the problem and have been beyond supportive of women in all walks but this seemed over the top. Are things really that bad? I mused throughout the day at what I had seen.

Then we went out to dinner Saturday night with some great friends. The wife had gone to the march of some 200,000 here in Denver and her husband was the driver for several of her compatriots. I got a different story. There was grace and civility and a sense of the original purpose to seek equality for all people regardless of sexual orientation, color, religion or whatever. They really were one and I had my faith restored not so much in women or gays or blacks but in some sense of sane discourse.

Enter Fr. Pat stage right. In his homily he proposed that equality can’t be reached because it is not in our nature to do so. Huh? Now my favorite Irish prelate is not a puppet for the conservative wing of Catholicism so I took notice. He reasoned that we want to help the poor so long as they stay in their place. The way we judge ourselves and society is by some sort of pecking order. He did not say it was right but it is so. That really got me  pondering.

There are rungs in all parts of our populace. I just read The Hillbilly Elegy and it was enlightening. Poverty isn’s confined to the inner city or blacks but is evident throughout our nation and world. The hollers of Kentucky and West Virginia can be just as desperate as the south side of Chicago or the bowels of Baltimore. Yes, there are a chosen few that escape and even some come back to resurrect but as a whole these people are devoid of hope. The haves and the have nots have become institutionalized.

And now we are eating our way into middle class America. The Donald can preach about the resurgence of the Rust and Bible Belt but there are just too many people who will not know life as it once was. In a sadistic turn these are the people that advertising is aimed at. They are the ones that religiously watch soaps, game shows and football because quite simply they have nothing else to do. They are told they need a new pickup, that Bud is the only way to get loaded and Duluth undershorts will soothe their chafing bottoms. It is almost like consumerism is the salve that will make it all go away.

If you think I am just being stereotypical, think again. Even in the upper echelons there are judgement calls which you cannot deny. Everyone wants to drive the latest symbol. It used to be a forest green Eddie Bauer Explorer but we shifted to BMW’s and Mercedes. Then that not being good enough we now seek Teslas and Bentleys. What is going to happen to us when we have driverless cars and all that horsepower and luxury will appear mundane?

Ok TTG, we can still look to our domiciles can’t we?.Not exactly.  Of course we have  to live in a gated community but even that alone may seem passé. Now we have to be in a gated part of the gated community. That is where the really rich and famous live. Imagine spending a couple of mill on your house and feeling like a low life? Where do your kids go to school and where do you vacation? Some of life’s burning questions.

Getting back to the Reverend Dolan’s premise that we all can’t be equal, one is struck by a further element of his oration. What is your vocation or better yet your lot in life? This not a grin and bear it situation but what do you think you are here for? If it is wealth and fame you probably won’t find what you re looking for. You will always need just a little more to make you happy. Just doesn’t happen.

Maybe I am getting old but this stuff just does not matter like it used to. I will not make any more money or achieve fame in the years to come . There is a finite nature to that and I sometimes wish I had learned it sooner. That doesn’t mean I am going to assume the fetal position for the rest of my life but my lot is cast and indeed I am more than fortunate to have a  comfortable one. Not particularly in an economic sense but maybe in my soul. I think I finally figured out where I am in the pecking order and that is just fine.

I look at the Women’s March and say good for you. Not in a condescending tone but  I really hope you can find what you are looking for. But I also would caution that this is not a perfect world. Maybe over time with prodding here and there, the battleship will slowly turn but the progress depends on an open and accepting world. We are far from it. Equality would be a great thing but men and women would have to forsake some things they are sure bring them happiness. On every rung of the ladder. We are just not there but it doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Just eight families in the world control more wealth than poorest 3.6 billion people on this planet. Nearly 1/2 of the world’s population — more than 3 billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day. More than 1.3 billion live in extreme poverty — less than $1.25 a day. 1 billion children worldwide are living in poverty. According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty. That is pretty scary no matter how skewed the numbers.

In 2015, 43.1 million people lived in Poverty USA. That means the poverty rate for 2015 was 13.5%. The threshold for a family of four is less than $24,000 per year. You would have to make at least $12 per hour in a 40 hour work week to make $24k

The U.S. rates 28th out of 145 countries in an annual world ranking of equality for women.The World Economic Forum “Global Gender Gap Report 2015” bases its equality ranking on economic, educational, health-based and political indicators.

Amazon recently announced that of their employees, women receive 99.9% of the pay that is earned by men. Minorities receive 101.1% of that number.