“All the world is a stage” sayeth the bard extraordinaire and “men and women are merely players.” There are so many examples of two bit players in the world today that one does not know where to start. It is almost as if we are reaching out to anyone who will give it a try.

We could work the international scene for our first casting call. Eight European leaders have been tossed in the economic turmoil with each one claiming to have the right answers. Buffoons like Berlusconi and Sarkozy prance and dance for the part of court jesters. Merkel say let them eat cake and the Greeks don’t care who it is as long as they don’t have to pay for it.

Greece leads the way with paying non jobs. They assign 8-10 people to ride the state railway with only one or two collecting tickets. They are notorious for not paying their taxes. In Athens, they take to the air to find houses with swimming pools hidden from view showing wealth tucked away quietly. Spain, Portugal and Italy are not far behind. Look out below!

President Assad of Syria mows down people with lawn mower like precision and says the devil made him do it. The UN, after lengthy discussions says he is the one who made him do it. Nothing changes. First you say you do and then you don’t Iran, says there is nothing wrong with enriched uranium. Come on in and have a look see but on second thought maybe we shouldn’t open the kimono too far..

Karzai looks at us with a straight face saying, “Get out” but don’t forget to keep the checks in the mail. Thanks for nothing. By the way whatever happened to us being paid back in oil from our close friends in Iraq? South Korea buys Iranian oil but says it doesn’t count because Seoul demands the money be spent on South Korean goods. Gets to your Soul doesn’t it. We forgot Uncle Sam. Thanks again for your support and assistance for the last 60 years. And in return they gave us Rev Sung Yung Moon.

Moving right along to the good old U S of A, we are all getting in place for our quadrennial fiasco. Mitt will tell you how he is a turnaround specialist. He’s right. I have seen him turn around with the greatest of ease. Barack  aka Barry The Crooner will tell or sing to you what you want to hear. It is always Bush’s fault. But wasn’t that four years ago? He ran on a transparency agenda. It is transparent all right and it ain‘t good..

Desperate Housewives, America’s Got Talent, The Biggest Loser, Mike and Molly, Two and A Half Men put us all right up there in the running for extras in Ben Hur, Conan the Barbarian and Planet of the Apes. Your are what you watch. This ladies and gentleman is why negative political advertising works. We don’t have to dumb down on things. We are already there.

But when we come down to the finalists I say pack your bags if you are not dressed in red. Not the Lady in Red. I am talking about the guys in the funny hats, obis and lace sleeve ornaments. That’s right, none other than the College of Cardinals. They cut their teeth on “Grumpy Old Men” and now with their talents refined are bringing down the house in Rome. Literally.

I am a Catholic but probably not for long. I really don’t want to go as I have told you often of our great parish here in Denver with marvelous singing and a fantastic young priest.  I will be drummed out for raising my voice in dissension and criticism. How dare you, TTG?  Don’t you know we speak infallibly?

Guys and Dolls,this is really the theater of the absurd. You take a deeply moral but basic principle of “Do unto others” and then have as your mission to spread that word throughout the world. Sit people down in simple surroundings and show by example that material possessions don’t really matter. Feed the hungry and help the poor. I don’t know what drives me crazier, the glitz and glitter of the Vatican Museums or the picture of the Pope being served the finest wine from crystal carafes by his butler.

Let me be clear on one thing, the message was never more pertinent than it is now. It is the messengers that have gone severely astray. Funny how that happens in religion, politics, business ethics and the like.

The problem is now that we have lost our way who can we call on to lead us back? Maybe a hidden star or starlet waiting in the wings to be discovered. My quandary in our little theater of life is whether it is a comedy or tragedy? Probably a little of both.

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

Greece’s top tax scofflaws number 4,152 and owe 14.88 billion Euros. On the other hand Christine La Garde whom I consider to be a very savvy and sharp head of the IMF  who recently chastised the Greeks, pays no taxes of her own because the IMF is an international  institution.

Iraq now has the largest pool of proven oil reserves at 350 billion barrels.

South Korea upped its imports of Iranian oil by 42% in the month of April and records are not available yet for May but it may top that increase. Shanks for nothing.

The Vatican beyond priceless art treasures has billions upon billions in solid gold ingots. They are stored securely in vaults  at the Fed, England and Switzerland. Remember those starving children in Africa.

You know the old adage, the first three letters of assume are ASS. But I will assume you are all reasonably intelligent despite your current penchant for reading material. Most of you have been exposed to business in one shape or fashion so I hope the following makes sense.

The most critical aspect of our financial futures as individuals and a country is tied up in a broad subject called medicine. Some facts and figures for the uninitiated. Medicine in the early nineties was as was defense and education 5-6% of GDP. It is currently 17% and if estimates hold true that will be 25% by 2020.

I watched a segment on TV this week that spoke of the work at the National Institutes of Health (NIH). There is a doctor and small staff that studies and tries to diagnose several hundred diseases we don’t even have names for. Literally symptoms and outcomes that we don’t know where they came from. They might affect only 100-200 people.

There was an article in our local paper about a Bubble Boy who has no immune system. Another woman is now able to move her paralyzed body by literally willing it to do so. It seems they have hooked electrodes to her brain and those impulses are relayed to a computer allowing artificial limbs to move. That’s the great part.

The bad part is that in all good things, they cost money. And I stand here unabashedly telling you there is a finite amount of money in this man’s world. It has to be allocated  to where it will do the most good for the common cause. That is not morality. It is reality.

We have promised the impossible. We have shown that we can keep people alive indefinitely. We have implanted limbs and vital organs in ways we could never dream. We have instilled hope through medical breakthroughs that help people just hang on hoping for a cure. We are rocked head on by a medical community and a public fervor that says heal at any cost. As is usual we’ll put it on the tab and worry about it later.

I know I sound like Simon Legree but I would really like one of you very sharp business types to tell me how to do this and not go broke. Let’s not forget we have 50 million Baby Boomers who are going to die no matter what we develop. Just put a number of $100,000 per person on end of life medical costs. Don’t worry it is trillions over the next 30-40 years. In today’s numbers.

Man what a bummer you are TTG! Guilty as charged. Wait a minute. You are talking about rationing, you say. Call Congress. Call the AARP. Call the VFW. Call the ACLU. Lock that crazy son of a bitch up. He is a dissident. A terrorist. How dare you bring the realities of monetary policy into life and death? Again. Guilty to the core.

Now I know what you are thinking. If you are young you want those resources for you and your children. If you are old you will get on some high horse about how you have worked hard and deserve every last nickel. If you are smart you will figure out a way to deal with it.

I really believe every man woman and child is entitled to basic medical care. If you have pneumonia, break a limb, suffer a heart attack or stroke you are more than deserving of immediate medical treatment. Beyond that it gets dicey.

You know I work with the dying through my work in hospice. Maybe I have a different view but it is not maudlin. I see nature take its course. I quite frankly find it more macabre to see someone laying there with tubes and ventilators hanging from every orifice trying to wring just a  few more breaths out of a broken body. Frantic resuscitations to live another day. There is a strange thing called quality of life.

As I write these words I guess whom I am really addressing is my generation and those that caregive. As we move later and later into life we have to have directives for what is reasonable and what is not. I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. Sorry Kath. But if and when I get some bad news I hope I will be realistic. Not heroic. Just letting nature take its course. Spend the money on my grandkids.

I have given a great deal of thought to this burden thing. Not only financial but psychological. There is a wonderful couple of whom the wife is in hospice. She has end stage whatever and every night she and her husband have martini together. She is beyond understanding of her plight. It really is a beautiful thing.

So I assume that many of you will disagree. That’s fair. I assume that you will go along that there is a lot of ass in me. Point taken. But I also assume that one or all of you will be able to come up with an alternative. Not a delaying tactic. No more we’ll deal with it after the election. I assume you feel this is all more important a campaign issue than the Rev. Wright and Bain Capital. Am I assuming too much?

As always

Ted the Great

Factoids:

Medical research contends that no disease is ever eradicated.

The current Health Care Initiative(Obamacare ) is not revenue neutral. The House version adds $239 billion over 10 years. The Senate version $597 billion.

We spend more per capita on healthcare than countries with universal healthcare but we only hit a fraction of our population.

We spend 1/3 of our healthcare resources in the last year of life.

Approximately 80% of elderly patients are hospitalized in the last six months of their lives.

I was doing my usual exploring of all things cosmic and stumbled upon a PBS joint presentation of NOVA and National Geographic. Now you have to understand that I have a BA in Poli Sci from Georgetown. I haven’t had much science even though a lot of people think I am rather full of BS. But I digress.

The program was about the sun and its potential danger in the form of solar storms. The incredibly interesting part was the analysis of the makeup of the sun. It is 93 million miles away. It is the size of 1,000,000 earths. It is not really a solid or gas because the heat of it is somewhere around 27 million degrees. It is made up of four distinct parts or areas. How do they figure this stuff out?

It is basically in a form of constant nuclear fusion. Hydrogen to helium. It translates 4 million tons of mass into energy that is the equivalent of 10 million H bombs every second. And we are worried about Iran?

It takes a ray of sunlight about 8 minutes to get to our little blue marble. But it takes the original unit of power millions of years to get to the surface of the sun to be radiated. In other words the sunlight we see today started on its journey to maturity way back in the Ice Age.

Now some of you probably knew this but TTG is dumbfounded. It was almost comical as the solar physicists plotted the solar eruptions or storms. Kind of like a red hot tornado. It seems that if we had the perfect storm it could wipe out all of our electricity on earth Huh? A mini version actually hit Quebec back in 1989. And here we thought they were just whacky on their own.

The point being is that these scientists are watching the solar weather every day. They actually issue forecasts. But the thought comes to this poor little mind, “What the hell do they think they are going to do about it?” Maybe we can develop a missile to thwart it? I don’t think so. I think I would rather not know it was coming.

The thing that kept ruminating in my mind was twofold. First is that this galaxy we live in is really a balancing act. The fact that the sun is this rather amorphous blob is really a miracle. It explodes and goes nuts but somehow still keeps on generating energy just like clockwork while maintaining its cute orblike figure.

By sheer happenstance we are lucky enough to have just the right set of circumstances that create life. Certain gasses, water, soil, protoplasm and add the right amount of sunlight and voila we have fish, fauna, flora and man. The fact this all works is dare I say a miracle.

The second piece is that homo sapiens is smart enough to devise ways to study all this. But rather than living in awe, we are of course convinced that we can do better. We are now in a mad race to find the God particle. When we find that then we will know the origins of life. We will be able to replicate this in a lab and boy won’t we be smart.

Well let’s not go that far. But let’s cure all disease. Body parts? No problem. We’ll learn how to grow them. Death? We can put it off for at least a few dozen years. Pollutants? That global warming stuff is just a bunch of crap.

It seems to me we should recognize that everything we have is a gift. The sun hurts us but only because we don’t respect its power. The earth feeds us but we think of that as a right not a privilege. Resources. Fresh air. Water. We want to chew them up insatiably to fuel progress and growth.

After watching this  show I realized that we are just pieces in the puzzle. The sun has existed for 4 billion years and will last long after any of our useful lives. The planets will orbit long into the future. We tend to think of ourselves masters of the universe.  Let’s just consider ourselves lucky. God forbid we are just mere mortals. Oh yeah, I forgot about that GOD part. Is He still around?

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

Gasoline is actually a product of the sun or lack thereof. When the sun was blocked, huge numbers of living creatures died and there decomposition created what are now our fossil fuels.

The sun destroys or mutates skin cells to create skin cancers. Looking directly at the sun can blind you.  Solar power is our most abundant but still untapped source of energy. The good and the bad.

The sun doesn’t rise or set even though some of us may have a different view relative to our own importance. We are just a satellite orbiting the sun. It makes up 98% of the mass of our solar system.

If you weigh 100 lbs on earth you would weigh 2707 lbs on the sun. Aaargh!

Sun spots are the result of varying degrees of temperature. They can become the size of the state of Texas.

I am sitting here thinking about a whole bunch of things but yesterday’s news of a bomb plot got me going in a direction. It has to do with the ability of one or a few people to change the world. For better or worse.

Al Queda is at most 10-15,000 whatevers. They are hell bent on creating tension via terrorism for hundreds of millions of people. They are succeeding. Look at what the free world has to do to try and thwart their every move. Now we have to go back over the security apparatus of our airports to see if they are capable of detecting the latest and greatest son of C4.

There are groups of all kinds all over the world where people are oh so willing to be led. What makes a leader? I think it is a combination of a lot of things but mainly it is being perceptive. Seeing a situation or a resentment that needs to be fixed. Showing a better way or at least an alternative. Are they fixing society’s ills or fanning the flames? Good question.

Why do we have so few leaders? Is it because there are so few people who are exceptional or just so few people even though they have the brains and talent who dare step out of the crowd. What is it that prevents someone from speaking up when they see a wrong? Even better why do we take so little time to investigate our beliefs and mindsets?

The standard today is are you a conservative or a liberal? Progressive or reactive? Spiritual or secular? What does that mean? I think in some ways we don’t want to go through the thought process that is entailed when you go deep. You question the very tenets you have held for so long. Not to throw them out but at least to make sure they are relative to your time and state.

I guess we just get comfortable. Why question when you can follow blindly? Someone criticizes me for questioning my religion, my political philosophies, my positions on marriage, or democracy. They say that we all know how we should think. Huh? How the hell do you know how I think? But Ted it is so much easier to just go along with the flow.

If you go along with the crowd you just sit there and nod approvingly. You resist every urge or recoil in your body when something rubs you the wrong way. Don’t make waves. Why not?

I think we all want to be loved or at least liked sooner or later. Acceptance is paramount. Confrontation sucks because Jeez Louise that person may not like me if I speak out. Even worse the crowd being who they are will follow each other rather than joining me. Do you walk around with that pebble in your shoe and just grin and bear it? Hmmm.

We are entering a political season when everyone will stick to their scripts. We will establish party platforms that will do their best to not piss anyone off or at least appeal to the base no matter what conglomeration that is. Political consultants will direct the chorus and we will all sing out of the same hymnal.

Joe Biden didn’t stick to the script and the world is coming to an end. Mitt Romney shoots himself in the foot for this sound byte or that which will of course be taken totally out of context. Just tell them what they want to hear until after the election. And we will suck it down hook, line and sinker.

It goes beyond politics. Right now we have got to as citizens, consumers and investors think out side of the box. We marvel at how fast the world is changing but we sit there dumbfounded and hope we can go back in time. The way things used to be. Happy Days. We are lemmings who are more than happy to be led. Just let me have my little life the way it is. Leave all the heavy lifting to activists and commentators. I’ll just sit here quietly and hope no one notices no matter how badly I feel inside.

Of course if we do that we will leave ourselves more than vulnerable to the whackos and demagogues of the world. We have well over three hundred million voices that could be deafening to the world. Think if all those minds were put in gear to thinking and solving problems instead of listening to the pablum of hate and fear and doom and gloom.

I am going to be a terrorist to complacency. 10 or 15,000 of us could rock the world. Want to join? Better yet. Want to lead?

As Always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

Lemming: small mouse like rodent who mass migrate.

Leader:One who can enlist the aid and support of  others to willingly accomplish a task.

Leaders allow people to try new things, embrace change, overcome fear and get out side their comfort zone.

Great leadership traits are communication, integrity, humility, openness, creativity, fairness, assertiveness and sense of humor.

Great leaders: Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, Gandhi, Mandela, FDR, Reagan, MLK, Churchill. How do they stack up?

We traveled a good bit recently. 5000 or so miles to be sort of exact. We met people from all areas of the country and all walks of life. How you felt definitely depended on where you lived and where you were from.

The nicest and most easy going people were from the hinterlands, so to speak. Columbia, Missouri, Hays, Kansas Paducah, Kentucky, Cape Haze Florida. I asked one and all how life was treating them? How was business? Things were just fine by them. Were they unaffected by all the goings on or were they just figuring out how to deal with it and go about their ways? I think I know that answer.

Some would say time is passing them by. Others might say time just doesn’t bother them that much. We drove the Toyota to the levee and it wasn’t dry in Paducah. Even though it was April people had already settled into summer like evenings. Just get the kids and let’s go down and watch the Ohio. Maybe fish or just listen to a little bluegrass someone was plunking on the five string. Don’t they know what they are missing?

We spent our last night on the road in Hays, Kansas. A ride downtown passed guys drinking beer on a porch overlooking the grain elevator complex. Seemed odd until someone reminded that I sit on my front porch too. A young woman who served us, spoke of going on to college. A psychology major she thought. Should be plenty of customers in the rest of the world.

Cape Haze was interesting or maybe not because everyone human being visiting there was from Ohio. They were quick with a shake of their hand and fast with a sincere hello. Minutes not hours got into great conversation. There was no sizing things up. Just straightforward camaraderie around the community grills. If you needed a refill you didn’t have to go back to the condo. It was already there. Feel free.

There was a distinct air about the Palm Beach area. Not snooty just really angry about things. They would flatten you with their cart in the supermarket. They would cut your eyes out trying to get a drink in a crowded bar. Was this New York south or just people in very bad moods? I had the feeling they had participated in a huge ride up and weren’t very happy with the abrupt stop and downward spiral.

Maybe everyday America never enjoyed the meteoric soaring and so the fall wasn’t nearly as steep or gut wrenching? Or maybe, just maybe they were accepting life and dealing with it? I am not looking for villains. I am really trying to get a handle on these multiple personalities.

I am struck once again by reality in politics. I have to repeat that in November no matter who wins, 50% of the country is going to hate him. They will then spend the next four years trying to bring whatever bastard is in there down. Is it me or is this really a weird way to live? I am not trying to spend a Kumbaya moment but just trying to make some sense.

Spring has come to Williams Street. Everything is in full bloom and the Goose has her spring finery on. If I can get electronically clever I will send some pix in future missives. I will hold court with my Denver Post and coffee and of course an occasional glass of red and a cigar in the afternoon. I will have stogie with my buddy Dick. Maybe Bill and I will enjoy a Rockies game.

If I sound a little tranquil I am. Life is good. Not great but good. I am going to join my cornhusker friends and just deal with it. I got new irons and I am positive I will break 80. Well at least 90 on a regular basis. I am still shopping for cars. One of my favorite things to do and pretty much guaranteed to drive my poor wife nuts. That’s okay one of them is for her. In the mood? You bet. And a good one to boot. If I am bipolar it’s just the mania I am dealing with right now. Hope it stays that way. Here’s to you.

As Always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

Mood: a long lasting emotional state…..a feeling at a certain time…a state of mind….they can last hours days or even longer.

They have a positive or negative valence.

They are not the result of a particular event but how you react. You alone can control them.

Accepted, accomplished, aggravated, amused, anxious, alone, ashamed, apathetic. Wow. That’s just the A’s. Nuff said.

Well the boys in Rome are at it again. I thought Catholics of every age were taught by nuns. Even cardinals and popes. You don’t mess with the good sisters. They can get back at you in strange and mysterious ways. And still the Curia says do it my way or the highway. It’s our ball and you play by our rules. No exceptions.

Fair enough. But you also seem like a bunch of old men trying to keep the status quo. I locked horns with a higher up whom I believe was a decent person. He simply stated that I could think whatever way I wanted, but in the end I had to step back in line and obey. You can probably imagine how that sat with TTG.

I was challenged last week by a good friend and reader to talk about things like women, religion and other tough subjects. Once again she hit the right buttons and Ted’s Head has been ruminating ever since. Here goes.

Status quo is so comfy. Play by the rules and don’t rock the boat. Agnosticism is not saying I don’t believe per se but that what you are professing just doesn’t make sense given reality and the current data available. To that person it is unknown or unknowable. Why does that scare us? Why do we want to rip that person to shreds in the court or dare I say church of public opinion.

It gets better as you surround yourself with believers. You all agree this or that person is a jerk. You can recite the catechism but do you really know what the Our Father is saying? You put some money in the plate but are you really charitable? This isn’t just religion but democracy, capitalism and a dozen other principles by which we lead our lives.

The gang in Rome, Washington and Wall Street all sing from the hymnal. A few are off key but you know the tune. Don’t you dare introduce something new. Even worse don’t introduce a new instrument. We know and you follow. They have this incredible ability to assume that they are right and ergo everyone else is wrong.

I have at various points in time doubted my faith. As you can probably tell I am doubting my religion right now. That to me is not a bad thing. Unless you really think about what you believe and doubt it to its core, it really is nothing more than rote.

And yet Catholics, Protestants, Jews and Muslims fear agnostics and atheists. Liberals fear libertarians. Democrats and Republicans vote in lockstep. Gays. Straights. Whites. Blacks. Is it that we know we are right or do we really fear that we might be wrong that makes us so pigheaded? Are we coming from a position of strength or are we professing symptoms of fear.

I watched a fascinating interview between Charlie Rose and the neuroscientist, Jonah Lehrer. He has just written a book entitled “Imagine How Creativity Works.” He made a rather startling statement that K-12 does more to squelch creativity than any other period in our lives. Kids are unruly. Teach them to behave not explore. It is the only way we are going to get through this lesson plan. Gotta keep up.

As I thought more and more about life I realized it is probably a lot more than K-12. Do large corporations or our government embrace new thoughts? What about that partisan that really believes this or that law is wrong but has to vote for it? My God, why on heaven’s green earth would Augusta let women into their hallowed fairways?

Yes I crave a little chaos and change. If the dam springs a leak here and there it might get a little scary but then again it might irrigate some fallow ground. I should just ride off into the sunset. I should have all the answers. I should say the world will somehow make it. But there is this gnawing urge in my poor little brain to try and find a better way. Explore more. Challenge myself. Not exactly blowing things up but for sure spending time tinkering with the engine.

Bless me Father I have doubted you. I hold these truths to be self evident….sorta. I think instead of preaching to you I am just going to try to be a better person. Maybe something stupid like doing unto others. Maybe taking a little from Column A and Column B as opposed to being one dimensioned. You know when you have a chink in the armor and it is old, most of the time you fix it with a new and improved metal. I am no metalurgist but if  I am not mistaken that makes it stronger not weaker.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

The human brain weighs approx 3lbs.It is a muscle and like all good muscles must be exercised or it atrophies.

We have 100 billion neurons in our brain or about the same number of stars in our galaxy. We have on the order of 70,000 thoughts per day. Some good. Some bad

The brain is 2% of our weight but uses 20% of the energy consumed by our bodies.

Juggling can change our brain significantly in just 7 days. Learning new things can change our brain dramatically. Imagine that.

Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Galileo, Da Vinci, Einstein et alia accomplished all they did without computers.

I spent some time this morning just thinking and jotting notes. We were about 300 miles from Denver and Kathy was doing the anchor leg. We had gotten to mile 1500 leaving Jacksonville on early Sunday. Rather than doing our usual run for home we decided to stop in beautiful Hays, Kansas. We gained an hour in time zones, so we left in the dark at 5:45 AM.

A cup of coffee and some great music had me drifting off into reverie as the sun’s first rays were caught by the newly greened plains. I love this time of the morning and it was great to just let go. I thought of our trip and friends far and wide, new and old. I thought of places and scenes and conversations that I only wish I could put into words better.

There were a few that stood out. One was a friend whose husband had died four years earlier. We had lost track over the years, so there was no way I could have known of his passing but I couldn’t help but feel a deep pang of guilt. She was gracious and welcoming and we spoke of fun times as she took us through the house and we stopped at this picture or that. A wonderful afternoon.

Another was an evening we spent with a couple we hadn’t seen in thirty years. I called their number and when my buddy answered I pretended to be an insurance salesman. He hung up. Then as I kept calling, he kept hanging up. I used to sit next to him on Wall Street  so I was having a good laugh as I knew each call would get him more and more pissed off. You see when you work on a trading desk the thing you can’t stand is a ringing phone.

When his wife finally answered I managed to blurt out my name before I was clicked into oblivion. We went out to dinner and wound up talking for three and a half hours. It was amazing that after so long we were able to melt away the years. We spoke of nothing but good times.

The most poignant meeting I had was brief but startling. I was over at the beach smoking my birthday cigar with a healthy vodka and diet tonic. I chatted briefly with a fellow who was taking a break from a long bike ride. Feeling a little self conscious about my stogie, I quickly pronounced the significance of the date and that I had run 5 miles that morning. He seemed nonplussed.

We were soon joined by a very attractive young woman. God is good sometimes to TTG. She was in beach togs and a ball cap pulled down low and had an infectious smile. She was from L.A. A graphic designer in movie land. She was staying in Ponte Vedra for a couple of months. As she was talking excitedly, she knocked her hat off. She was as bald as yours truly.

Mayo Clinic was nearby. She was undergoing chemo and radiation for breast cancer. I didn’t ask how advanced but I knew it was not a walk in the park. We spoke of my work in hospice in a very matter of fact way. She came down to the beach every day after treatment. It was her reward for getting through the day. This very cool lady had her stuff together….at least on the outside.

All of us shared something of ourselves. She finally asked me if I was a merry go round or a roller coaster. Stumped, I asked for clarification. She stated a merry go round is very happy to go in circles. The ups and downs are more than predictable and appear on cue. A roller coaster is full of wild turns casting one’s self and anyone in the car on a dizzying ride. Both fun but in different ways. You’ll never guess which one I picked?

We chatted a while longer and then I left. A short talk. A lifetime of lessons. I was definitely taken by the siren’s song. No, not the pretty woman but the life by the sea. A day filled with what time I would play golf or have cocktails on the beach does have its allure.  Don’t worry Kath. It could be in Florida or Denver. That’s not the point. For all these miles I keep going over in my mind whether both rides can fit in the same amusement park. Will I ever know? Will you?

As always

Ted The Great

Crazy Things:

People in Missouri and Kansas are separated by one river, the Missouri. But they really hate each other. I thought it was a joke until I started asking around.Florida and FSU is the same but they are in the same state

There was a flashing sign in Colby Kansas…pop 5,000. “Golf Cart Replacement Batteries are In”. What? We didn’t even see a golf course.

Signs on trucks: Jones Septic Repair and Removal “We Suck”

Ace Electric Company…”We Can’t Wait to Get Into Your Shorts”

Crop Duster at 4:00…not a bogie but the time they do their work. When the winds die down.

Going through Kansas and Colorado there were oil wells and huge wind farms. In Florida we never saw wind turbines or solar arrays….anywhere.

We went through seven states coming and going. Signs everywhere….Help Wanted ?????? Also we saw a never ending line of big ass pick up trucks. All cruising and burning high priced gas. Business must be good.

I write this on the first day of my 67^th year. Like the screwball I am, I went out and ran 7 ½ miles on Saturday and then another 5 today. We all have our own definition of running, so stick it. I made it. That is all that counts.

When you run a fair distance you get into what is called a runner’s high. After a while you don’t keep track of the miles. They just keep going by. It is a great time to think. The only real bad part is that at my age I can’t remember how to get home. That only gets compounded when you are in a strange place. Kathy keeps hoping a large hungry gator will get me.

I decided to put on paper my commandments. These are for me and the rest of my life. I call them commandments because nothing is more motivating than Irish Catholic guilt. If you like them feel free to borrow. Add to or subtract.

I: No one is any better or worse than myself. I have learned on my trip that everyone has their slice of heaven. It would be arrogant to criticize. Hard as it may be I will try to love everyone…especially me.

II: I am trying the best I can. I may screw up but I am human. I may think I am real cool but I am not. Just don’t yell at me because I have a loud voice or that I clown around. That’s me.

III: Everything that happens in my life, good or bad, is the result of a decision I make. I cannot and will not be a victim. If I don’t like the outcome I only have myself to blame and should rely on me to get me out of it.

IV: I will apply the worst of what if to everything. Okay you screwed up. What is the worst thing that can happen. Keep applying “reductio ad absurdum.” Thing really aren’t that hopeless. I will survive.

V: Thou shalt not rue the day. I can’t take back what I wrote 5 seconds ago. I haven’t a real clue what will happen tomorrow. I will try to live in the here and now. It is really the only absolute.

VI: Thou shalt not kill….ideas, hopes, dreams, love. I will try to bring out the best in people and not put them down. My way is not the highway. Nurture discovery and creativity. Don’t be a cold wash cloth or downer. The world is your oyster….and everyone else’s.

VII: Always be different. Sing at the top of your lungs. Enjoy a good cigar or Middletons. Enjoy a great wine even if it is just by the glass. Show your kids and grandkids you have a whole lot of crazy in you. Listen to Rock and Roll, classical or jazz and turn the volume up real high. Air guitars and beer bottle mikes are allowed. Wear crazy shoes. A bow tie. It really feels good.

VIII: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods. Sure he may have more than you but does he really have as much fun? The grass is not always greener. If you had it all what would you have to look forward to. I guess I have a lot to anticipate. As for coveting your neighbor’s spouse we will have to discuss that dilemma in another forum.

IX: Do not waste time. Live every moment as if it was your last. It might be. Have a bucket list. You know the game where you are asked what you would do if you had a month to live? Why not do it right now.

X: Have fun each and every day. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It cost nothing to find some bay or stream or mountain and just look out at it. Hug your wife, your kids, your grandkids or whoever you are hanging around with. Scare the crap out of someone by coming out of nowhere and telling them you love them. Make someone’s day besides your own.

That’s it. I have a full day ahead of me. So much to do. So little time. Have a great day. I really do LOVE you all!

As Always

Ted The Great

The human heart only weighs around 10 ounces. They break. They soar. They finally give out. But what a run.

Actually the heart beats 2.5 billion times during a lifetime. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

The average worker wastes 2 hours a day at work. That adds up to $759 billon per annum.

The average lifetime in the U.S. is 78.3. The average healthy age is a little over 71 years. The highest average lifetime is 82 in Japan and Switzerland.

7 of the 10 Commandments are the basis of law in most Western countries.

I used to be one of the worst about first impressions and still falter significantly. As the song goes, “Just one look”. Not only on the personal side but of different regions of the country. I think that goes back to my days as a New Yorker. Of course there was nothing worthwhile west of the Hudson. Then I moved to New Jersey.

The old joke about what exit do you live on the New Jersey Turnpike has run its course. We lived in Morris County that was dotted with well to do estates and a park system second to none. I was actually quite happy more people were unaware of its beauty.

Then we moved to Colorado. Incredibly there are over 310 days of sunshine per year. Probably more with global warming creeping up. People used to ask what we did in the summer. Ski? Don’t you miss New York? Not exactly.

We have now crisscrossed the Sunshine state. Most do it by air. We are on the road. As we went from the east to the west coast there were miles and miles of farm land. (Actually the distance as the crow flies is about 140 miles.) Acres upon acres of citrus orchards. Towns like DeSoto, Okeechobee, and Arcadia. Who ever heard of these places? And yet like all the other states with burghs and villages, there are people that call it home and it is the source of their livelihood.

Forget about geography. How many people live in Florida? What is the percentage of those that are over 65? Over 45? How many miles of coastline? You can actually come up with 16 metropolitan regions. From the elite of Palm Beach, Vero and Naples to the urban venues of Tampa, Miami and Jacksonville. Gainesville, Tallahassee and the Redneck Riviera of Destin and Panama City. A lot more than meets the eye. By the way 18.8 million human beings call this home. 15% over 65. Believe it! And the population over 45 years of age does not equal the half way mark.

Megan and I were walking down the beach and there were kids celebrating spring break replete with kegs and music. Next door was an elderly couple on the beach. He was wrapped from head to toe in towels to avoid the sun. She was sunning by his side. Kind of just enjoying each other. Somehow this patchwork quilt works.

You have got to gravitate towards judging people. It is so easy to quickly categorize into groups of this educational achievement or economic strata. You see an old black man or woman and you automatically think poor and uneducated. You see a pickup truck and presto you have a redneck. You see an old Buick and of course they are old farts going to dinner at 4:30. It’s probably the way George Zimmerman looked at Treyvon Martin. Never asked. How sad.

New York City cops believe all Muslims are evil. The 95% are sure the 5% are out to screw them. The 5% believes the 95% are lazy pariahs. So many feel they are owed…entitled. So many are entitled by birth and feel they owe nothing. Have you ever gotten to know an Hispanic, an African American, a gay or lesbian? Our paintbrushes have such a wide stripe and see so little detail.

I don’t understand the plight of Israel. Afghanis, Iranians, Indonesians, and Afrikaners. I just don’t get how people could be such brutal segregationists? How you could own slaves? How you could have an abortion? How you could take joy in watching someone be executed? Are they just really lousy at explaining themselves or am I so stupid, I don’t know how to shut up and listen?

I have lost over 15 pounds. Of course I am smug about fat people. I can write a line or two and look askance because you can’t even finish high school. I am pompous about being a moderate. I have money and you are struggling to just get by. I wonder who is really ignorant here?

I just hope you don’t judge this book by its cover. I have got a lot to tell. I think I will rework the jacket. Maybe a new picture. I’ll do the same for you. Then with a little luck we won’t be put in the “Bargain Bin” at Barnes and Noble…. just yet.

As always

Ted the Great

Factoids:

Florida:

1200 miles of coastline. Over 11,000 miles of rivers and canals.

The Everglades is made up of over 10,000 islands. The area has been inhabited for over 15,000 years. In the 1800’s John Audubon noted the sky would sometimes grow black with birds. 93% of the wading bird population has vanished.

Population 18.8 million. Over 65.. 3.2 million roughly 15%. 45-64…5.079 million roughly 27%. 25-44 ….4.7 million roughly 25%

At 38,000 square miles the state is roughly the size of England and Wales combined.

There are over 1000 golf courses in Florida

Greed, noun: excessive desire for more than one needs or deserves. Secondary: wanting to eat more than one can reasonably consume. I might be tempted to stop right there but there are too many pieces to this puzzle.

I have just finished a book on the last days of Bear Stearns. One cannot but be taken by the size of bonuses, the glitz and over the top spending on everything from offices to houses to jewelry. I am not going to get moralistic but rather be observant. The largess was shared by execs, traders and salespeople alike.

Now I try to put this in perspective with the Occupy Wall Street crowd. When they were here I went to the protest in Denver one afternoon. It is within walking distance of the Kenny digs. I really wanted to see what it was all about and talk to some of them.

They really had no distinct message which was disappointing. I was just looking for a starting point. Well, I will just find a leader. Sorry, none of those were around. It seems there were 20% who were just supporters. They were working but felt the message was right. Not bad.

Then there was about 20% who trying to develop a coherent philosophy of sorts. Good for them . But as I wandered through the tents and food lines, it was evident the last 60% was divided equally between professional protesters(some would say anarchists) and the homeless. If you are down and out who wouldn’t want a free meal and a place to stay? Disappointingly, I discovered the homeless were being actively recruited to swell the crowd. So much for spontaneity.

On my walk home I just started thinking about this greed thing and it occurred to me that maybe we are all guilty. The money is obvious. There is no one in this world that is deserving of $15-20 million per annum be they financier, athlete, or media star….unless it is their own money. That is not envy or looking to redistribute wealth but just amazement at our stupidity. When I look at all those dollars I just see them as something that could be better spent on education or R and D. The most galling aspect is that somehow I am paying for that pacheck either directly or indirectly.

Our corporations are so shortsighted towards long term planning and investment. Keep those profits rolling. Share price conquers all. Then the big guys can cash in their stock options. But the ordinary Tom Dick and Harry stockholders and analysts are screaming too.

But I also thought of greedy old people and I guess yours truly qualifies. We say we are entitled. There is not only the well off taking Social Security but the bulk of us who want to wring every dime we can out of Medicare and Medicaid. I see ads for scooters and medical supplies with the tag line “this will probably not cost you anything out of pocket” God damn it! You owe me whether I need it or not.

An educator is greedy in that they refuse to consider new methods and elimination of tenure. So many are great and so many are less than mediocre. There is no way to reward innovation or brilliance. This is true on the primary as well as secondary level. Do you know the average college professor teaches 1.4 classes per semester? Remember back to that deserve part of greed.

Are there greedy poor bastards? Do they work the system? Is it easier being on the dole than hard at work? Is everyone who claims to be a victim really so? Insurance  fraud. Medicare fraud. Tax cheats. A little here. A little there. Don’t worry no one will notice. And the beat goes on. 

We are all greedy with our time. We rush everywhere saying we are way too busy. We don’t have time to read, to explore our minds, to put in time towards charitable endeavours. Greed really embodies a total lack of sacrifice. You may be working hard but is it to make money or to feed your ego with trinkets?

This all sounds harsh but it is our problem today. We have cut off creativity. We have a whacked out set of priorities. We are greedy to maintain our own little worlds. This is industry and individual alike. Rich and poor. Many feel we should act like immigrants again. Look at this land of opportunity and not as the horn of plenty. I agree.

Take a real hard look at what you deserve. I know of very few of you who go to bed hungry at night. Who doesn’t have roof over your head? Who are really worrying about where the next nickel is coming from? At your worst where does that put you in the world? Maybe the top 5%.

 I am not preaching. I am going to confession because I am right up there in front. Greedy bastards? We all are. Let’s have Occupy the USA and really straighten things out.

As Always

Ted The Great

Things I Don’t Get

You can kill and poison insects but you get to go to jail if you do it to a dog or cat.

Bentley owners doing their shopping at Costco. Is that what they call trickle down?

Spending $1,000 on golf clubs and zero on lessons.

Spending $500 on dinner and putting $5 in the collection plate.

Fast food as our biggest growth industry.

Not reading yesterdays oped because it is a day old

The Donald’s Hair..he actually thinks he looks good

Calling a fancy restaurant for a 7:00 dinner reservation and they tell you all they have is 6:45 or 7:15