Tag Archives: family

It’s What We Do…

I am struck by all the discussion around assisted suicide. There is a New York State law that pushes the boundaries a little further down the road. People can argue both sides without any input from yours truly, but maybe I have a unique perspective. 

As most of you know, I work as a volunteer for Treasure Coast Hospice. I have been doing that here in Flalaland and in Colorado prior to moving here. That is coming close to just shy of twenty years.

My primary job is simple. I interact with patients and their families in our Inpatient Unit (IPU). They come there when their symptoms can’t be treated at home. I truly see them at the end of the journey. 

I have probably been with a person at the time of their death dozens of times. I have watched the last breath be taken. It has never been a bad sight. It is actually quite beautiful and serene. There is finally closure for him or her and the family as well. 

Too many years ago, I wanted to be at the birth of our firstborn. That didn’t happen much back then, so the doctor wanted to meet me so he could feel comfortable that I wouldn’t go to my knees. As we chatted, he said no matter how many times he delivered a child, it was always a thrill to see a baby come to life. He said,there are four of us in the room and then there are five. I have thought the same as a person has passed and I think there were five of us in the room and now there are four. The circle of life. 

Hospice is not a building or an institution; it is a philosophy. You are diagnosed by a doctor that you have six months or less to live. You begin a journey with very tell-tale steps. We have been there thousands of times. We can see the pratfalls and pitfalls ahead. We hold your hand and guide you. We do not dictate but let the family be very much a part of the process. We neither retard nor hasten death. Compassion is our middle name. 

Right now, we have over 625 patients in our care. We do so with over 400 employees and 250 volunteers of all sorts. We are a non-profit organization. Our goal is to break even. Ironically, 75% of the hospices in the US are owned by private equity. You know, the guys who like to show big returns to their investors. They are in businesses of every type. Sorry, when people dying becomes a profit center for whomever it really pisses me off. But I digress.

When we get a patient in the IPU, it is after a long slog. They have been through a myriad of doctors and treatments. Coming from a hospital or rehab center they are deemed to be beyond hope. The caregivers have been doing their thing for months if not years in many cases. Chemo, radiation, therapy sessions, surgery, you name it. They and the patient are exhausted mentally and physically. 

As a volunteer, we ask the care nurse four simple questions about the patients. How old are they, what do they have, are they verbal, and do they have family? We then knock on the door, I say I am volunteer Ted, and with the scant bio, try to gain their trust in a matter of moments. I first tell them this is our home and you are our guests and we will do anything we can for you. It is a relief that technicians and staff are not running in and poking them. There is a quietude that is not eerie but comforting. We do good by holding hands,giving hugs and letting them know we have their back.  Good stuff.

We also provide care in facilities such as nursing homes and at home, where most of our patients want to die. Our volunteers have a different goal, which is more long-term. They get to know people on a totally different basis. Same love and empathy. Different providers. 

After death we provide grief support to anyone, even if your loved one was not in hospice. We do the same for the community we live in as a service during a catastrophic event or mass shooting. We recieve no compensation and are funded by grants and donations. 

Why am I telling you all of this? Assisted suicide is cited to put people out of their misery with one pill. I can’t argue the ethics for or against. I guess I want you to know two things. I am not a fan of messing with life in any way from birth to death. We are in an era where we want to give birth to blonde-haired, blue-eyed geniuses, and we are developing technologies that can do so. There is a randomness to life that is part of its beauty. To AI and quant our lives away seems terribly boring and predictable. There is a form and rhythm to nature that has existed for millions of years. We are so arrogant to think we know better.

Secondly, if you or a loved one is faced with impending death, I hope you realize there is another way. Too many times you wait till the last minute. We do not want to take hope from anyone, but when I see someone beaten up by therapies, I do wonder if it is all worth it. Especially as we all get on in years. I guess I could ask myself, what am I trying to accomplish, and more importantly, why? You can call hospice for an evaluation or to answer questions. In all these years I have not met a single person who has not said that they either wish they had done it sooner or that more people knew about us. 

Life is precious, right to the end. We get it. It is what we do.

As always 

Ted The Great 

Factoids:

Hospice provides palliative care for individuals with life-limiting illnesses, focusing on comfort and symptom management rather than curative treatment. It is a covered benefit under Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurance plans. 

It is a proven fact that a patient in hospice can achieve a higher quality of life, knowing that so many things are being cared for. 

Doctors are egotistical, and we want them that way. Unfortunately, it is beyond difficult for them to have the conversation about hospice. Ironically, they tell a patient there is nothing more that can be done. Of course, there is; they can call hospice. 

You can leave hospice if you feel your condition is improving or you just don’t want to be part of it anymore.  There are no contracts or locked doors. 

The clinicians and staff I have been involved with over the years are some of the most incredible loving and caring people I have ever met. Hospices always need volunteers of all sorts. I have had more than a few who say they could never do it, and now are a part of our family. 

Scrambled Eggs….

I was making breakfast for myself this chilly but beautiful morning in Flalaland. A couple of eggs, cheese, bacon and anything else that was lying around looking for a home. It occurred to me that this was a wonderful simile for my brain right now. Contra indicators galore. A little right. A little left. What is a guy to do? 

Reflective as always, I have been reading this and that before I venture outside. One article depicted the plight of a DACA person in Georgia. He came to this beautiful country at 10 months of age. He had no say in the matter. He then just did something stupid like growing up as a normal kid in a small Southern town. 

He went on to get a good job, be involved at the local church, and participate in helping young kids find their way. In his twenties, he has a wife and two kids. In a few weeks, his whole life could get turned upside down. He is illegal by definition, and under the new administration, he is a target for removal. I have a problem with that. 

Under the law, he is wrong to be here. In my poor little brain, I wonder how we can be so stupid but even more inhumane.

Should we round up the criminals and ne’er do wells? Of course, but what is the percentage out of 11 million that have that scarlet letter? I told you last time of our Christmas celebration that The Hope Rural School. I am sure there were illegals there. Should I back throwing them out even though they provide some valuable services to our little Playland?  If I am a Christian doesn’t that go against my beliefs? TTG, you just don’t understand. I guess I don’t. 

I was giving platelets a while back. It is a two hour procedure which is really pretty simple. As I sat there twiddling my thumbs I took a chance. The phlebotomist was black. Stupid Ted said, “Can we talk about the black thing?” Holy Shiite, I am not supposed to ask that. She was more than gracious by saying yes. Her story was beyond revealing. 

She had worked as a phlebotomist for seven years, and her husband was a boat mechanic. Their combined income was above $100,000. They had paid rent on their apartment and never missed a payment for eight years. They wanted to buy a house west of I95 in Broward County, which includes Fort Lauderdale. They could not get a mortgage. I figured it was because it was way beyond her means. Rashly, I asked how much the price of the house was. $250,000 was her reply. WTF? Is that equality? 

She went on to relate what her life was like. She was not bitter. She simply said if you are in a crap neighborhood, you got crap doctors. If it was a school in a black or Hispanic neighborhood, you got shitty teachers. Tragically, it all made sense. Garbage in. Garbage out. I asked how we could change that? She replied, “by talking to more people like you.” Yikes !

I will probably lose my elite card for thinking about these things. I am an old fart. Who cares if I am troubled? This is not hand-wringing or woe is me. It is things over my life that I have believed in and sometimes cherished. I have now seen them cast aside and minimalized. Please forgive me. 

I hope I am a moral person. This does not mean I am without sin. It just clearly states to me what is wrong and right. If you do something that is wrong you should not get a pass whether you are Hunter Biden or Donald Trump. I have listened to the cognoscenti try to explain away this or that. It just doesn’t hold water. 

In some ways, it comes down to what you think your place is on this big blue marble.

If you feel the world is out there to serve you and meet your every want, then we don’t have a lot to talk about. That is not blowing you off, but just saying we are on different wavelengths. My quandary is wondering if you are right or am I? Better yet is their some sort of common ground? A starting point. Those are kind of rare these days. 

The word that comes to mind is humanity. Humanity can refer to all people in the world, both past and present. It can also refer to the shared values, experiences, and aspirations of all humans. Kind of why are we all here? We see violence in Nola and Vegas. Mass shootings to make a name for oneself. Manifestos that scream about intangibles. Psychological problems and PTSD are the villains. That makes sense, and now let’s get on with life. Sorry for your loss. 

I wonder if this makes any sense at all? I can’t solve the world’s problems. Why even try? Do I just give up and crawl back under my comfortable golf cart or make merry at the club bar. All that outside world is so far away. And that to me kids, is just scrambled eggs. It’s tough to swallow. 

As always 

Ted The Great 

Factoids:

Perfect Storm. By different estimates we are short 3-5 million homes. Interest rates are stubbornly high. Investors bought 15% of housing stock in 2023. Rents increase by 1 1/2 to 2 time annually. 700,000 homeless are not just mentally ill or on drugs. 

In an oft-cited study, as many as 66.5% of people who file for bankruptcy blame medical bills as the primary cause. As many as 550,000 people file for bankruptcy each year for this reason. This data has been known for many years and has continued even with the passage of the Affordable Care Act.

There are approximately 1,000,000 illegals that would qualify for DACA. They were brought into our country by their parents. Their average age is 31. Their average length of stay is 25 years. 83% are in the labor force. 96% have high school diplomas. 49% have some sort of higher education. We have not revised our immigration laws in 37 years.