I am struck by all the discussion around assisted suicide. There is a New York State law that pushes the boundaries a little further down the road. People can argue both sides without any input from yours truly, but maybe I have a unique perspective. 

As most of you know, I work as a volunteer for Treasure Coast Hospice. I have been doing that here in Flalaland and in Colorado prior to moving here. That is coming close to just shy of twenty years.

My primary job is simple. I interact with patients and their families in our Inpatient Unit (IPU). They come there when their symptoms can’t be treated at home. I truly see them at the end of the journey. 

I have probably been with a person at the time of their death dozens of times. I have watched the last breath be taken. It has never been a bad sight. It is actually quite beautiful and serene. There is finally closure for him or her and the family as well. 

Too many years ago, I wanted to be at the birth of our firstborn. That didn’t happen much back then, so the doctor wanted to meet me so he could feel comfortable that I wouldn’t go to my knees. As we chatted, he said no matter how many times he delivered a child, it was always a thrill to see a baby come to life. He said,there are four of us in the room and then there are five. I have thought the same as a person has passed and I think there were five of us in the room and now there are four. The circle of life. 

Hospice is not a building or an institution; it is a philosophy. You are diagnosed by a doctor that you have six months or less to live. You begin a journey with very tell-tale steps. We have been there thousands of times. We can see the pratfalls and pitfalls ahead. We hold your hand and guide you. We do not dictate but let the family be very much a part of the process. We neither retard nor hasten death. Compassion is our middle name. 

Right now, we have over 625 patients in our care. We do so with over 400 employees and 250 volunteers of all sorts. We are a non-profit organization. Our goal is to break even. Ironically, 75% of the hospices in the US are owned by private equity. You know, the guys who like to show big returns to their investors. They are in businesses of every type. Sorry, when people dying becomes a profit center for whomever it really pisses me off. But I digress.

When we get a patient in the IPU, it is after a long slog. They have been through a myriad of doctors and treatments. Coming from a hospital or rehab center they are deemed to be beyond hope. The caregivers have been doing their thing for months if not years in many cases. Chemo, radiation, therapy sessions, surgery, you name it. They and the patient are exhausted mentally and physically. 

As a volunteer, we ask the care nurse four simple questions about the patients. How old are they, what do they have, are they verbal, and do they have family? We then knock on the door, I say I am volunteer Ted, and with the scant bio, try to gain their trust in a matter of moments. I first tell them this is our home and you are our guests and we will do anything we can for you. It is a relief that technicians and staff are not running in and poking them. There is a quietude that is not eerie but comforting. We do good by holding hands,giving hugs and letting them know we have their back.  Good stuff.

We also provide care in facilities such as nursing homes and at home, where most of our patients want to die. Our volunteers have a different goal, which is more long-term. They get to know people on a totally different basis. Same love and empathy. Different providers. 

After death we provide grief support to anyone, even if your loved one was not in hospice. We do the same for the community we live in as a service during a catastrophic event or mass shooting. We recieve no compensation and are funded by grants and donations. 

Why am I telling you all of this? Assisted suicide is cited to put people out of their misery with one pill. I can’t argue the ethics for or against. I guess I want you to know two things. I am not a fan of messing with life in any way from birth to death. We are in an era where we want to give birth to blonde-haired, blue-eyed geniuses, and we are developing technologies that can do so. There is a randomness to life that is part of its beauty. To AI and quant our lives away seems terribly boring and predictable. There is a form and rhythm to nature that has existed for millions of years. We are so arrogant to think we know better.

Secondly, if you or a loved one is faced with impending death, I hope you realize there is another way. Too many times you wait till the last minute. We do not want to take hope from anyone, but when I see someone beaten up by therapies, I do wonder if it is all worth it. Especially as we all get on in years. I guess I could ask myself, what am I trying to accomplish, and more importantly, why? You can call hospice for an evaluation or to answer questions. In all these years I have not met a single person who has not said that they either wish they had done it sooner or that more people knew about us. 

Life is precious, right to the end. We get it. It is what we do.

As always 

Ted The Great 

Factoids:

Hospice provides palliative care for individuals with life-limiting illnesses, focusing on comfort and symptom management rather than curative treatment. It is a covered benefit under Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurance plans. 

It is a proven fact that a patient in hospice can achieve a higher quality of life, knowing that so many things are being cared for. 

Doctors are egotistical, and we want them that way. Unfortunately, it is beyond difficult for them to have the conversation about hospice. Ironically, they tell a patient there is nothing more that can be done. Of course, there is; they can call hospice. 

You can leave hospice if you feel your condition is improving or you just don’t want to be part of it anymore.  There are no contracts or locked doors. 

The clinicians and staff I have been involved with over the years are some of the most incredible loving and caring people I have ever met. Hospices always need volunteers of all sorts. I have had more than a few who say they could never do it, and now are a part of our family.