Singing in the Shower.

Theodoro Pavarotti has come to the city. One day last summer, I had come home from the golf course. I was taking a shower and singing a very poor version of some obscure opera. The only resemblance I have to Lucianno  has been my periodic Falstaffian gut.

There is a certain resonance in the shower that really sounds cool. It reverberates off the glass and makes you sound like you know what you are doing. Well, at least to me. This particular afternoon was a gorgeous summer day. Now when you live in the city it is a little different than Cordillera or Arizona. You are really close to your neighbor’s house. And our windows were open.

As usual my next door neighbor, who is a dear friend thought I was nuts. A guy down the street said he didn’t care what people said, he thought I sounded pretty good. It reminded me of an old lady in front of me in church. She said I had a beautiful voice. I said thank you. She said holding her ear, “WHAT?”

I actually took a course in singing at the University of Denver. It was called “Finding Your Inner Voice”. The first day of class had nine all stars and me. They sang with the Colorado Symphony Chorale, various choirs and vocal ensembles. When they got around to me, I had a sinking feeling I was in the wrong place.

Well tough for them. I had paid my money and I was going to do it. I asked to bring a bottle of scotch to class saying I could do a lot better that way. Tempting as it was, the teacher who resembled Carol Burnett in both looks and spirit said we could do that some other time.

I actually pulled it off. Not through talent but my usual ability to BS my way through anything. We had to sing solos in class which was really a kick. Once you got comfortable in your own skin almost anything was possible. Interesting concept.

Emboldened, Kathy and I were at Italian night at the club. They had a fabulous a capella group that could sing anything from rock and roll to jazz. Kathy and I were out dancing and of course I was singing along. Loudly. All of a sudden one of the singers handed me a microphone during their rendition of “The Book of Love”. He said come on up.

I know you will all be shocked that I accepted his offer. My kids ducked. Kathy went to the ladies room and I was finally dragged off the bandstand as I demanded to know where their next gig was. They said they would call me. They haven’t.

This is not the first time I have pulled this stunt. Back east we went to a charitable thing I was running. I decided to get up with the band. The next day a wonderful but really stuffy banker, Eldon Dixon said “Geez Ted, you were really smashed last night”. I said, “Eldon I am really going to scare you. I am on antibiotics and didn’t have a drink all night!”

The fun part about now is I can do things and people don’t know if I am eccentric, crazy or just Ted being Ted. I am just old enough. Maybe all of the above. I don’t kiss up to people nor do I ask them to do so to me.

You would be shocked how many times you can ask something and they will tell you. Catch them off guard. Don’t give them time or think or put up defenses. Don’t worry. Facts and plain old logic will get them every time.

The heart of it is, they can say yes or no. Kathy cringes sometimes when we are dinner guests. I love to throw topics out on the table that are controversial.I call them questions. Kathy calls them hand grenades. I don’t take one side or the other on purpose. I just like to get the ball rolling.

It’s like singing in the shower. You actually sound pretty good…at least to yourself. Have fun. Be crazy. Enjoy life. In a week, chances are no one will remember.

As Always

Pondering the Imponderables

Ted The Great