Yahoo Headlines:

Stocks Careening Between Hope and Greed

Greek Finance Minister Resigns…Crisis Deepens.

New Home Sales Highlight Continuing Recovery.

Gas Prices Are Silver Lining For Economy.

Is The modern Day Depression Already Here?AD: Men Boost Testosterone With One Trick….No Joke

Now I am a man of small mental resources. I hinge on every bit of info that comes my way. Should I be up or down? Should I get more meds? Should I be happy or sad. Please tell me. I thought I was happy but obviously the pundits know better. HELP!

I remember when I was really stupid. I didn’t have Geraldo, O’Reilly, Rush, Keith, Rachel or Nancy Grace, to name a few. There was no Fox, CNN, Bloomberg, MSNBC, C Span, Court TV, CNBC. There was no Facebook, Twitter or sexting. You rode the train and furtively stuck the NY Daily News inside your NY Times or Wall Street Journal. That’s okay. Away from snooty suburbia you could read the rag on the subway.

Mel Allen, Vince Scully and Red Barber announced games and even a few were on TV. How bereft I was when all I had was my imagination to see the green grass of Ebbett’s Field or Yankee Stadium. Stats stopped at batting averages and WL, ERA for pitchers. Pitch count? Never heard of it with Ford, Spahn, Drysdale and Gibson.

But I am old fashioned and in the dark ages. What were we going to get accomplished at pickup games on the Village Green? You have to work on your stroke and your three seamed fastball when you were thirteen. Make sure you have two uniforms with cleats and helmets and of course pads for your arms, wrists and shins. Make sure you are properly hydrated with electrolytes and plenty of protein for a long game. Oh yes I was a neglected child.

Today they get in the car and hop into a seat that would make an astronaut proud. Unfortunately when I did get a ride it was one of a family of seven, I got the center armrest in the middle of the front seat. If I was fleet of foot.

Most of the time I rode my bike. The one without fenders, no chain guard, handle bars flipped over so you could place your bat and mitt on the front. But the best part was the center bar where I would let my buddy sit for the somewhat uncomfortable but available ride home. Helmets were for football only.

Yeah, I went to the library not Amazon for my books. AC in the house was an attic fan that could suck the sheets off the bed. We went to the movies and threw pop corn boxes at the screen until the manager threw us out on Saturday afternoons. We were home at dark. Need a ride? Just start walking and I will try to get there honey before you make it all the way home. Sure.

God, what a dope I have been. If I had all the stuff they have today I would be so much happier. I would be so much smarter and richer. I would get so much more out of life and really be able to cram tons of important things into my day.

It’s probably better to just sit here and wallow in my own ignorance. I really do want to know that the market was off 150 points immediately not later. I want to fret over Greece and Spain minute by minute. I want to know what Justin Bieber or Lebron had for lunch. Or what time of day they relieve themselves. What’s a guy to think? Probably nothing. There must be an app for that.

As Always

Ted The Great

Factoids: I am an old fart. I can’t think of any.