Let’s Talk God…

Well let’s see. We have Muslim extremists. Pedophilia among Catholic priests(plenty of others too but we seem to be fixated on priests). The Jewish orthodoxy are throwing women off busses for wearing skirts. The Protestants have gay bishops. And atheists are growing in numbers. The latter to the point they were a topic of discussion on the Sunday soap, “The Good Wife.” All in the name of God.

Now some of you might think God is sitting with His head in his hands. He’s up there in heaven, wherever that is, saying “Woe is me”. I think not. Or maybe He is shaking his fist. “You ingrates. Just you wait til judgment day!” Hardly. That’s not really His style.

I actually think He is shaking His head saying, ”Oy Vey.” That’s the Jewish version of God but you Gentiles get it.

Now it is easy to say there is no God. You can curse, swear, cheat, fool around and have absolutely no reason to worry. You can stay in bed on Sunday, go skiing or play golf. After life. Schmafter life. Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die. You hope.

Even better you can have a part time or Rent A God. This is probably the best. You call up and order Him for weddings, funerals, Christmas, Easter or  if you get in a serous jam. You know, “God if you get me out of this, I will never do it again.” But we are not talking about a true livein God. One night stand. Only when you need Him.

Now most of us call on God several times a day. We ask him to damn several things or people in our way. We even go so far as to call on His Son. You know “Jesus f….g Christ”. That f….g’ is a relatively new accolade that was born in the later part of the twentieth century. And you thought you didn’t believe.

Our country was founded on a compact with God or so we thought. “In God We Trust” is written everywhere. It’s on our money. Maybe that is why we hold the Almighty dollar so sacred. It’s etched in stone in many of our public buildings. We came here to escape religious oppression. We wanted to pray openly. At the time it seemed like a good idea.

You see back then the USA was a beautiful but somewhat hostile place. There was the unknown of the wilds and there were dudes called Indians (nee Native Americans) who weren’t always happy to see us. We were of course above board in all our dealings and even gave them trinkets and beads for what would become one day the most expensive real estate on earth. All in the name of God and country.

After a period of time we decided that these people were savages. All they did was hunt and fish and live in tepees. They worshipped the land and their bounty, giving thanks for it. There were spirits in the mountains and the streams. What were they thinking? They had a lousy life and didn’t even realize it. Let’s teach them to smoke and drink. Buy  mortgage backed securities. Now that is what I am talkin’ about. But I digress.

As we got smarter we could find a reason for everything. We could unlock the secrets of the atom and other sciences. We invented. We created machines that can think faster than us. We started tearing apart our bodies. First to heal and then to create. Holy Shiite, if we can create then we don’t need God because….well, then we are god. What a country!

Now we are getting to the good stuff. If we are god we can control the country and the world. Let’s create a new Jerusalem or Vatican. Let’s call it Washington, DC. We have decisions to make. Where will we worship? The Capitol, White House or the Supreme Court? I like that Supreme part. It has a nice ring to it. We won’t go with a person to adore. They are too transient. Let’s just go with gold. Naw, that is too bulky. Let’s just worship the Almighty Dollar. That’s perfect.

Sorry I can’t go along with the game. I am not a holy roller but I think I have figured my place in the world. There is this dude called God and I think he is pretty cool. He is not only a person but a concept. He is not a basher or judge but a symbol of hope. He represents decency to ourselves and others.

He has this place called heaven. It’s better than Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand and Pebble Beach combined. He’s promised me a spot if I at least try to be a contributing member of the world. I don’t have to be perfect but at least put in a good effort. That seems more than reasonable.

It really doesn’t matter if I am a Christian or Jew. Muslim or Buddhist. You leave all that at the door. You just have to believe in one thing and that is love. Of God and your fellow man. Hmm.. I think I get it. I hope there is room for me….and you too. God bless.

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

Pew Research:

49% men are religious

63% women

71% in US believe in God..not necessarily religious.

Worldwide:

33% Christian..declining

20% Muslim..growing

13% Hindu..stable

13% Non adherents..declining

2.5% atheist

Under 1% Jewish

There are 19 major religions in the world. In the US 75% of formal religious groups are Christian. Over a thousand of them feel they are the one true church.