You know this is not as easy at it looks. Ted’s Head is supposed to be a demonstration of my writing expertise while relating what is going on in this bald wonderland known as my brain. This week has provided many challenges. There is a real effort on the part of the world and its resident whackos to render me senseless. They are coming close.

Syria aside from any rational observation is a mess. We are up in arms(literally) over Assad’s use of chemical warfare. We should be. But where has everybody been for the last two years when 100,000 people have been murdered? There are two million people in refugee camps at the borders in Turkey, Jordan and Lebanon. If there was a red line I think we passed that about 100 miles ago.

Obama and Kerry and lest we forget Hilary have forged a foreign policy that is beyond foreign to me. This whole let’s “let them blow their brains out” philosophy is admirable to someone like myself. I have been to war and we sure as hell don’t need another one. I am mystified by John McCain and Lindsey Graham who seem hell bent on getting us in over our heads. Forget about Viet Nam. Isn’t ten years in Iraq fresh enough in their memory?

But then there is a sticky wicket called moral outrage. We tended to overlook that in Rhwanda and Kosovo but who is counting. The chorus rang loud in Britain, Canada et alia but when it was crunch time they decided to leave the driving to us. Go get them Uncle Sam and we will sit here in the bleachers and cheer you on but excuse us if we don’t suit up for this game.

This whole fiasco has convinced me more than ever that Obama and friends are in way over their head. It’s kind of like the Hokey Pokey. “You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out.” This is the Keystone Kops at work. But wait Congress is coming back to town. That should make everything better. I think we ought to install a giant weathervane on top of the Capitol dome so they can always figure out where the wind is blowing and vote accordingly. The Debt, Immigration, Healthcare and Jobs should be a walk in the park.

Half of the West is on fire but there is an ongoing discussion as to whether we should fight the flames or let them burn themselves out. I think that might be considered Nature taking its course. TTG, you heartless son of a bitch, there are people’s houses in those forests. That line of thinking resembles in many ways the populace building houses on East Coast beaches and then spending $30 billion to rebuild and transfer sand from one place to another. We need Chris Christie out here.

Want to know the real foolishness of our ways? Let’s assume we really want to fight these fires. Air Tankers can lay down fire retardant to slow things down. The fleet of a couple of dozen we have now is old and dwindling. We have numerous C130 aircraft in the National Guard that can be equipped to carry these tanks. We cannot get authorization to use them unless we go through a myriad of red tape.

There are hundreds of former jet transports in mothballs in the deserts of Arizona and California. We cannot come up with the money to refurbish these things but we are planning to launch 200-300 Tomahawk missiles as shots across the bow. At the cost of $1 mill per unit and then the support staff, well you do the math. We need psychiatrists in DC not Congress.

My good friend in Hawaii sent me a New Yorker article on forfeiture. It seems there is a law on the books that dates back to the early days of piracy. The good folk in Linden, Texas a small town near the Louisiana border have found this law to be the path to riches. You see if you are suspected of drug smuggling you can have your possessions seized without a hearing. If you get stopped in this burgh for doing 30 in a 25 MPH zone or traveling in the left lane you are a suspect. The friendly mirror sunglassed gendarme then thinks he smells pot. Bingo you go directly to jail and do not pass GO. That is unless you sign a waiver at curbside and then you are free to move on minus your belongings or kids. The loot is split between the cops, the DA and the town. And it is all lawful. And it is happening all over the U.S. of A. What a country.

Bringing this recap to a rapid close is not easy. You have a Montana judge sentencing a teacher to a suspended sentence after raping a 14 year old student. The magistrate said the girl was far more mature than her age. He apologized not about the sentence but his lack of sensitivity. Wonderful.

Then I did miss but have heard about Miley Cyrus bumping and grinding as a shy retiring 20 year old. She was tired of being known as a former Disney Girl. And yes ladies and gentlemen she will follow blithely in the footsteps of those other matrons of honor, Madonna and Lady Gaga. I am really not sure what that says about my fellow Americans when the Tweets were coming in at 300,000 per minute.

Gang, it is only 8:55 AM MDT here in Denver and I am seriously thinking about having a drink. Instead I am going to take a long run and muse about these and other things. Trying to make sense. I don’t carry an ID so if I get lost in thought and run too far I hope someone will give me a ride home. Going down life’s highway, bumps and all.

As Always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

A six year old boy in China was discovered by his parents with two bloody sockets instead of eyes. Seems someone who was into body part sales ripped them out and then discarded them after removing the corneas. Nice.

Switzerland now has drive in sex. You park your car in a stall and sprint undetected to a room with a bed and a friendly attendant. I guess you look at the menu and place your order. Wendy’s may take on a whole new meaning. Let’s go to Sexdonalds for a Happy Meal.

There was a study done to send kids to Finland, South Korea and Poland (Really?) to find out why they do so well at education. It seems they have a real dedication to learning. Finland pays the teachers very well and there are no team sports. South Korea is a little over the top(no wonder they don’t smile) but somewhere in here is a message. Where there is a will there is a way.

Please look at Billmoyers.com. I know he is a lefty but the interview with Mark Leibovich is neither left nor right but compelling.

I have stolen some of these from The Week, a great publication that I devour Monday mornings. Me culpa.