I started out with one topic for this week’s missive and found myself wandering from place to place. Not ADD but so many thoughts to capture my attention. I am random by nature but this is ridiculous. Just for a moment, think of my plight. There is a plethora of fascinating parts to our lives if we are just smart enough to sit down for a moment and look. Not always the case, especially for me.
On Sunday there was a keynote speaker at our church. They have a discussion group most weeks and this one was filled to overflow. There was a young woman who spoke and she was a Muslim. My virgin voyage into Islam and it was not because I was promised anything in the afterlife. She probably presented more questions than she answered. I walked away wanting more and that was just fine.

I went to my Google and such, in an effort to fill in the blanks. Problem was I only created more. This is beyond complex as a religion or ideology or whatever is not easy to define. I could question Muhammed’s motives from the get go. Are you peaceful or a local chieftain that was looking for a following? Is violence a core belief or an ancillary? Is there a chance you were God given or just another huckster? Why do you have today 1.8 billion followers in this world?
I wanted to wax eloquently to my readers but I just felt like a moron after several hours of research. More to follow.

I am befuddled by our President elect. Not by his Twittering but his appointments. If you have ever read my previous meanderings you know I delight in hoisting the petard against sacred cows. Boeing? Carrier? Bring it on, big guy. My sane self says I can’t believe this will ever work. My Walter Middy says if there was ever a time to gore fatted calves, this is it.

There was a tragedy in Boulder Monday night. A body was found in a parking lot with a bullet in its head. Black man about 40 years young. Another senseless slaying? In a way. He had killed himself. He wasn’t a nobody. He was Rashan Salaam, a celebrity in these parts because in 1991 he brought the Heisman trophy to Colorado with his derring do on the football field. We are in the middle of this wonderful country and we don’t get a lot of press so when I say he was BIG, I mean really BIG.

Better yet he was a fine young man. He went on to the Chicago Bears. He was not a rock star type but someone whom you would have over to dinner. He worked with the University and was basking in the glory of one of our most successful years. From last to first in the PAC 12. What caused it? We will never know but it is a wailing siren to every troubled person on this planet.

I watched the 75th anniversary of Pearl Harbor tonight. It is wonderful to see these old guys getting their due. Imagine if you were in a gun tub on the Arizona and you could see some Japanese pilot waving to you as he was about to blow you and your ship to smithereens. That red dot on his fuselage would become etched in your mind for the rest of your life. You then had a choice. Jump into the water which was awash in fire laden oil or go down with your ship? Think you are having a tough day?

I worked out at the gym today. It snowed last night and the current temp has been in the single digits. Not very crowded. Only the hard core and oh yes, me. I saw people trying to get in shape or at least manage what they had. I also saw a beautiful young woman. I had seen her many times before. Hey,I am not brain dead…yet. But there was something different. She had had her lips puffed up and who knows what else?

It was sad because there was no need for it but she felt there was. What was lacking in her life? I looked at others that were a tad older. Maybe they could use a little help but whatever they got it was not to the plus side. Why do we always seek something better? Is it wonderful to want to be better or is it an absurdity as we try to beat the clock or show disdain to what God has given us? I decided to cancel off my liposuction surgery. This gut is here to stay.

Lastly I got a FaceTime from my granddaughter Ryan. Her mom and dad presented her and her two sisters with an early Christmas present tonight. Tomorrow morning they are all going to New York for the next few days. They were beyond excited and asked me places to go. I was reliving a time spent long ago. It was an absolute joy to see their euphoria over something not quite so tangible as a wrapped present. This was going to be an experience to be savored long after the batteries would wear out on this or that. Life is good.

That’s it. My poor brain can’t stand any more stimulation. I haven’t told you half of what is running around in there. I will sit back, maybe have a bit of Scotch and think about how lucky I am. I only hope your life is half as eventful and rewarding as mine

As always,
Ted The Great

Factoids: None. My cranium is flashing TILT.

I was reading a couple of articles the other day on China. One was from the perspective of Xi Jinping and whether his actions would eventually bring us to war. Sufficiently depressed I turned the pages to an interview with Henry Kissinger who has been in and out of our foreign policy for the last fifty years and at the age of 93 still holds some sway..at least with His Hairness.

Both have represented history. The former Secretary of State has been of counsel to several presidents from the whacky Dick Nixon to the more conventional Bushes. Interestingly he noted that Obama had never sought his counsel. I wasn’t sure if this was puzzlement or pique. President Xi is part of a 70 year actualization of the writings of Chairman Mao. There have been some interesting twists and turns.

I couldn’t help but muse on the whole concept of leadership. So many movements in history have been created and furthered by one man or one woman. We are not talking about this or that radical sect but entire nations with sometimes billions of people uniting behind one person. Why do we follow at all and often with such reckless abandon?

From all visible signs people want to be led. I am not sure if this is a human failing or if it is baked into our DNA. From birth we love being nurtured and shown the path. It is easier that way and you are not subject to criticism. Someone said man’s three primal needs are to be safe, to belong and to matter. A good leader could fulfill all of those.

But why does someone step out in front of the crowd? He or she has an idea or a creed and by sheer will and charisma is able to effectively convey that and generate enthusiasm for their cause. It makes sense to people. They like what they hear and bang you are off to the races. This can be true in business, Washington or cathedrals, temples and mosques. The election of Trump typifies this. For better or worse people were willing to follow and the supposed pros were caught flatfooted.

That firebrand, management guru or disciple has a choice. They can remember where they from or they can start believing their own press releases. The opiate of power is a strong one. Sensing the popularity of their ideas, they surround themselves with sycophants. The crowds get larger but their inner circle becomes smaller. They reap enormous benefits be they economic or psychological. The largesse and praise heaped upon them only serve to inflate their egos more. Then it is not the cause but themselves that becomes the reason for being.

It’s funny because most do not set out to amass personal benefit. Clergy do not strive to be archbishops and popes. A politico doesn’t eye the Oval Office from the onset. People feel something in their hearts but that falls prey to personal aggrandizement. Principals and morals are compromised and family, friends and decency fall by the wayside. An article in the Harvard business Review noted “The once great, have stopped listening and being open to input from others” The symptoms were:
▪ Lack of humility
▪ Not listening to others
▪ Withdrawing and becoming reclusive
▪ Justifying your position
▪ Lack of openness and objectivity
▪ Not allowing your decisions to be questioned or challenged

Oh ye in higher echelons, does this sound like someone you might know?

The ideal of service enters stage right as the counter to this. You are here because you want to give. You devote your life to helping make people better. You try to make yourself better. You develop leaders everywhere in your organization. They are not a threat but an enhancement. You seek not only value to the shareholders but to the entire entity. You understand the failure or success of your endeavor is the result of the whole team not your prowess as El Supremo. This is of course idealistic and from all sides in the recent election not necessarily in vogue but we have to start somewhere.

Further there is an omnipresent vision of who we are now and where we want to be in the future. There is an enthusiasm and passion to your message. Optimism abounds but is tempered by pragmatism. To this perfect organization there has to be a responsibility taken down to the least employee. They are not only a cog in the wheel they are an integral part subject to both reward and criticism. When they see the product they understand they had a hand in its design or manufacture. They feel empowered and that is an incredible force for innovation as well as ongoing pursuit..

Do these places exist? Of course they do. The top 50 best places to work compiled by Business Insider cover the spectrum from technology to energy to pharmaceuticals to consumer products. In perusing the list there seems to be a combination of factors ranging from a reasonable balance of work and private life to philanthropy and wellness. 3M has for many years fostered the ability among its workers to come up with new and different ideas. Leadership has been creative and practical and their stock price represents inherent value rather than squeezing every last drop of blood from the stone.

Leadership takes many forms from the management suites to the shop floors. You can see it in school boards to neighborhood associations. Enthusiasm in contagious and the results become all the more phenomenal if the majority jumps in rather than letting someone else do it. Get out of your seat and take part. As the saying goes, “If you ain’t the lead dog the view is always the same”.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Leaders are not necessarily born. They rise in response to certain occasions.This is where some lead and some follow. In other words, to really become a good leader, one must be put in the position of having to step up to the plate.
Several Leaders of sorts had interesting starting assignments:

Richard Branson of Virgin Atlantic was a record producer
Dmitri Medvedev of Russia was a street cleaner.
Pope Francis was a nightclub bouncer
Angela Merkel of Germany was a barmaid
Mark Cuban was a disco dance instructor
Adolf Hitler was a wallpaper hanger
Mao Tse Tung was an assistant librarian at the Univ of Peking

As per Mark Twain,”We are all perfect just at different things.”
As Per Groucho Marx,”Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women.

Speaking of women: A detailed study by the Harvard Business Review of some 7800 superiors,peers and subordinates ranked executives in 16 different categories of leadership. Women surpassed men in 12 of the 16. Today’s workforce starts at 50/50 men vs women but winnows to where women make up only 3-4% of CEO positions. Sorry guys but their effectiveness rate is far superior to men. Almost four in ten businesses in G7 countries have no women in senior management positions. Globally, the proportion of senior business roles held by women stands at 24% Not good. I guess all this will get me a one way ticket out of the fraternity house.

On Monday I dropped off a turkey to Fr Michael at Samaritan House, the homeless shelter where I used to volunteer. The padre was off doing good somewhere and I left a note saying that the gobbler was chosen from some of my closest friends. It was then off to Churchills for a cigar and a scotch or two with some dear amigos who of course were happy I didn’t pick them for the fowl donation.

For those who have been talked off bridges and have put the hemlock back in the cupboard as well as those who just shrug their shoulders at our recent democratic exercise,Thanksgiving conjures up some mighty strong emotions. There are those who love the traditional almost to obsession. Everything has to be just the way we have done it for the last umpteen decades. Not a ritual to be lost and God forbid we would accept anything but rigid conventionalism.

Then there are the rowdies and the upstarts who want innovate and try something different. Like substituting Mac and cheese for those God awful turnips. Perhaps a roast instead of a Tom. Gadzooks, this is the beginning of the fall of civilization as we know it. What would out forefathers think? All of a sudden I can see a nation at this dinner and we are all sitting down for the feast.

Seating is the initial step in the process. There is a kid’s table and an adult one although to some they could be mutually interchangeable. El Supremo sits at the head and everyone falls in line thereafter taking great note as to who is on either side. This can be meted out as to status or longevity but there should be no attempt to mix and match so as to avoid spontaneity or putting someone with brains anywhere near the top.

Don’t get me wrong, change is not always for the better. We have morphed major holidays into commercial events. People have gotten so carried away that they have completely lost sight of the original intent. For instance we have to eat at a specific time in order to fit into the day all the really important stuff like a football game or doorbusters at Macy’s. Sorry mom and dad, everyone is getting together the Ale House. Don’t want to disappoint.

In a totally perverse way holidays lead to both sadness as well as gladness. People conjure up detailed fantasies of how things should be and when they are not perfect in the slightest way they cannot accept that like life, it is not so. But then there is the joy of a separated friend or relative sitting at the table or at least sharing a call. And still others long for lost loves be they a broken romance or just someone who has passed on to a “better place”. By the way whoever came up with that concept? I don’t now about you but I have been pretty lucky. Heaven will have to be really special to beat this.

Ah, the repast! Now here is where it gets interesting. The bird is presented in all its glory and it is indeed a beautiful thing…that is before we start carving it up. Everyone wants this piece or that. Dark meat? Really? I have my standards. Okay kids let’s get this straight there are only two drumsticks. Have to compromise. Somewhere, somehow, someone’s nose is going to get bent out of shape.

As we continue to pass various goodies we always overdo. You know eyes bigger than your stomach.Pour on the gravy so your plate overflows. Some hog takes more than their fair share and you are left with the china reflecting a mere shadow of the heaping brimfuls that were there at the start. We thought there was enough for everyone.

Then comes desert and the age old question. There a lot of people looking for their piece of the pie. Barring a loaves and fishes miracle that circle is only so big. Now does everyone take a smaller wedge so that all may enjoy or do we let those at the top take what they want and let the cards fall where they may? Survive of the fittest, you know. Don’t worry. Next year we will just make a bigger pie. Yeah, we have heard that before.

Lastly after the feast we sit around the table with perhaps an aperitif. We wax eloquently and try to heal hard feelings. Some are filled with gusto and some are filled with self pity. Some wish they spoken up and others are glad they kept things to themselves. Thankfully most of us are just happy to be here. It is not just a feeling of contentment but of accomplishment. Moms and dads can look at their brood and say we done good. We welcome the new guard and pray their way will enhance and improve all aspects of life. Passages mes amis, passages.

We end on a note where we should have started. We are grateful for what we have. We can crow and say it is the result of all our hard work or we can forgo the personal huzzahs and say maybe there is a Higher Being that helped. Back in Plymouth they didn’t have a lot and were facing starvation. They saw the raw countryside and knew it held a plethora of life sustaining possibilities, yet they were afraid and in that fear did what all of us should do. They said a prayer of thanksgiving. Not only for what they had but the bounty before them that was yet to be reaped.

They did not rush out the door but sat and contemplated their plight and at the same time their good fortune. Whether at the table or just walking down the street maybe we should say thanksgiving to whatever God we know. Just be grateful for all we have and oh so cognizant of our fellow man and woman that helped us get here. I think that is something we should all drink to. Happy Thanksgiving,

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

In 2015, more than 233.1 million turkeys were raised. More than 212 million were consumed in the United States. We estimate that 46 million of those turkeys were eaten at Thanksgiving, 22 million at Christmas and 19 million at Easter.

If you feel groggy after an old-fashioned Thanksgiving meal, the bird on your plate may be partially to blame. Turkey meat contains tryptophan, an amino acid that the body uses to make serotonin, a neurotransmitter in the brain that helps regulate sleep.

Thanksgiving was almost a fast — not a feast! The early settlers gave thanks by praying and abstaining from food, which is what they planned on doing to celebrate their first harvest, that is, until the Wampanoag Indians joined them and (lucky for us!) turned their fast into a three-day feast!

Wild turkeys can run 20 miles per hour when they are scared, but domesticated turkeys that are bred are heavier and can’t run quite that fast.The largest are around 35 pounds. Turkeys sleep in trees to avoid predators. Each gobble is unique.

I love shaking things up. An anarchist I am not but I love to look at the conventional and staid and place a hand grenade right in the middle of the discussion. In truth I am always looking for a different way, something no one has never thought of before. This Trump thing is turning people on their ear and I am relishing every moment. You know me, I fight against the elitists and higher authorities all the time whether they are political or ecclesiastical.

Why do I tilt at windmills? There is a beauty in thinking about innovation and more efficient ways. Dark alleys and dead end streets that finally break through. Researchers and professors do this but become so engrossed in their studies that they believe their own press releases and that no one could know more about a topic than they do. Each week we find an entity that claims to finally have the perfect theory on this or that. Then it is just a matter of time before someone disproves that theorem and it is on to the next one.

Now this should be healthy progress but we tend to hang onto flawed reason with a death grip. As we unlock all the secrets of cosmos and ourselves we become very susceptible to pride and arrogance. We never leave any room for further discovery or a totally different way of looking at things. Then comes the final declaration,“Well we have always done things that way” to put the kibosh on anything novel.I jumped out of an airplane a year ago. Rational people are not supposed to do that but the sheer excitement of doing the forbidden opens you up to more and more of that great molecule called discovery.

With all this freedom we have to have rules but let’s make them reasonable. We crave the reliance on edicts to bring order to our lives. People become so engrossed in minutia that they lose sight of the prize. That complexity also serves to perpetuate the bureaucrat’s existence. Obamacare has become burdensome from the idea of documentation alone. The law itself is 2800 pages long and just the regs are 20,000 pages. The IRS code is 76,000 pages long. You wonder why we need accountants and lawyers and then government staff to ensure compliance? And this is just the Feds.

When one considers what just happened on our political front you can see the frustration of a lot of people. The small businesses can’t support staff or service providers to keep up with all this paperwork and then is also forced to pay a minimum wage. Life is complex enough but we have now taken things to a new extreme. Entrepreneurial America is a slave to the insanity of government.

I have been listening to the news since we got home on Monday. Everyone is losing it because His Hairness has not yet announced his cabinet. I mean it has just been a week. What the hell is going on here? Wolf Blitzer after blasting Trump night and day hopes that the new administration will play be the rules and adhere to the decades of propriety when it comes to the Fourth Estate. I hope they don’t. Not as an apologist for the Donald but because I just want to see a different way of doing business.

As I peruse the WSJ lobbyists, hacks and even nations are scrambling to figure out what this all means? I think uncertainty is wonderful. Think about the last couple of years and all the life ending bullets we have dodged or at least kept down to a flesh wound. ISIS, oil prices, Crimea, EBOLA, Zika, Somehow we have made it. Go back in history to Y2K, Rock and Roll, Hitler, Martin Luther and of course the earth being flat. We are flooded daily with unending coverage of this crisis to that in order to properly report on our impending doom. Give me a break. We will be just fine.

In the long run there has to be a balance. Sure we are facing a crisis when over half the people of old age don’t have $10,000 in the bank. Granted we can’t continue on our road of entitlements and largesse without facing this mountain of debt that we have run up. But the solution does not lie in our current institutions where we throw just more and more money at things. This push to pour dollars into infrastructure can’t be carte blanche but rather with a keen eye to our most pressing needs. We had the chance in 2008 and we blew it.Let’s hope history does not repeat itself.

Long story short is we have chance to rattle some cages. This is not a testimonial to the Orange Man which is the farthest thing from my mind. It is a prayer that the powers that be might have finally understood what the hell is going on. We need incredibly creative people to come up with some shocking and even radical new ideas. The bitch is if you look in small towns and garages there are McGyvers everywhere that have figured out crazy ways to do things. It is called ingenuity and grit, not a PHD.

This election has demonstrated more than ever that the big shots really don’t have all the answers. Not only in DC but in news rooms, board rooms and executive suites throughout America. There are great minds out there but not everyone stands at the levers of power or with fat wallets. Let’s give them a chance.We need all the help we can get.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
I found this definition of Brainstorming:

Brainstorming is the name given to a situation when a group of people meet to generate new ideas around a specific area of interest. Using rules which remove inhibitions, people are able to think more freely and move into new areas of thought and so create numerous new ideas and solutions. The participants shout out ideas as they occur to them and then build on the ideas raised by others. All the ideas are noted down and are not criticized. Only when the brainstorming session is over are the ideas evaluated……Do you think people involved in our government think this way?

Rattling one’s cage:
Perturb
Astonish
Amaze
Mess With One’s Head
Discombobulate
Push One’s Buttons…..not bad for starters
Americans spent over 3.24 billion hours, which is about 369,858 years, preparing and filing tax returns in 2012. We spend well over $500 billion per annum just doing our taxes. This to me is the greatest example of useless enterprise.

WOW! That is the best I can do for an opening line. Who would have thunk it? A week ago at this time Hilary was planning her grand entrance and picking out furniture while the Donald was on the ropes. Now many of you thought it was a race of personalities. Others the fine art of distinguishing bad from badder. After a few days I look at it in a different way.

It was appropriate that in our technological age that the internet should play such a predominant role. Just not in the way people thought. In Obama vs Romney most thought that Barak’s geeks got the best of Mitt and they were probably right. Worked for him so it had to be so for Madame Clinton. Not exactly.

The most unlikely master of cyberspace was Trump. It is ironic that Silicon Valley was so against him and it proved to be their foil. Twittering until all hours of the night Orange Man kept his name in the forefront day after day. The more outrageous the better off he was. It is estimated that he derived anywhere from $2-3 billion of air time for free. He did the same with TV where the anchors from all stations couldn’t wait to update you on the latest shenanigans and react with disdain and horror. And he laughed all the way to the bank.

I think this really leads into what I will call the idiocy of the elites. Joe Scarborough pointed out in the day after that one could drive West after leaving New York and not encounter another blue state until Oregon. Both coasts were Democratic but the midsection of the country was red. And that is where the country is fed up.

The cognoscenti really took their lumps. The algorithms and what ifs did not take into consideration the ire that has gripped the not so educated. Plain old Americans have seen their type of country go up in smoke. They are hard working, church going families with a husband and wife present and accounted for. They have lost their jobs and have seen the country lose its morality. Gun violence and drugs have a stranglehold. The status quo no matter who was putting out the Kool Aid has seen no sign of growth in 25 years.

Hilary was the establishment in so many ways. She was preaching more of the same. Throw more money at it and it will get better. The Great Society has disproved that theory. But then again Bernie was successful. Why? Because he was plain and simple different. It is almost as if people were grasping at straws. Anything new. Anything refreshing and yet the pros didn’t see it coming.

There is a condescending attitude that pervades the East and Left coasts. Just sit back and let us run things. They ran a lot of people out of a job. Just send us your money and we will provide…for the party hacks and K Street lobbyists. The voting public never see their representatives except at election time. The pols are too busy doing the work of government whatever the hell that is.

It is not just the politicians but the titans of industry and finance who cause people to bristle. How many of the cognoscenti told their clients to sell when Dow futures were down 800. Better yet how many told them to buy. Oh yeah, I forgot buy and hold. Companies pay outrageous amounts of money to the CEOs and the rest of the corporate suite. What do they do? They lay off people for efficiency and bringing down overhead. They have replaced workers with robots who run 24/7 without complaining. Have to take care of the stockholders you know.

Therein lies the saddest part of this farce. Both the Donald and Hilary said they would create jobs…out of thin air. For the most part there are no new jobs. Factories and furnaces have gone the way of the Dodo bird. Even if we retrain there are only so many new industries to absorb millions of laborers. Universities for profit thrived in the initial foray and now they are dropping like flies with them all the hopes of Joe Six Pack.

In an absurd way Trump is just like Obama. Both preached change to get elected and one has already failed miserably. Maybe we have a miracle man on our hands and I for one hope we do. But if we come back to my elitist theory we are going to get nowhere. Most of us would yearn to see the whole thing blown up and start over again. But there are so many fiefdoms and seats of power who can pull the levers to be obstructionists I have my doubts.

The last straw of arrogance in this campaign occurred last weekend with the glitterati coming out of the woodwork. I am as open minded as any man but do you really think that I am going to vote for someone because the Boss or Cher or Beyonce told me to. If you don’t think that pissed off middle America even more then you really don’t have a clue.

We ALL need a giant dose of humility and realism and my senses tell me that will not come from His Hairness nor the powers that be. We have to understand that just because you don’t have a college education that does not mean you are any less a person than you or me. We have to come down from our ivory towers and finally get that our current way of life is not working for a lot of people. By that I mean over 50 million who voted one way. I don’t care how smart you are that is not just a drop in the bucket and we better take heed.

My final takeaway is that we need so much and it will take a superhuman and sobering effort on everyone’s part to go forward. One group has already discovered that. I wonder if all of us highly educated snobs can come to the same obvious conclusion.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
None. Why confuse the issue with facts.

I got my new tooth yesterday. The old and battered one had been taken out a few months back. Extraction didn’t come easy. Seems that molar liked where it had been living for over 60 years. The nurse coldly referred to it as #30. Didn’t she know I am Ted The Great? The doc needed a couple of tries to retrieve it which almost got comical akin to a Three Stooges skit. He finally broke it in two and at least avoided applying a jack hammer to my jaw. Then it was tossed unceremoniously into a steel bowl and who knows where it went from there.

When I got home I cursed the fact I had left my old friend. I was sure if I put it under my pillow I would have gotten a shekel or two from the tooth fairy. I wonder if it is political correct to use the term “fairy”? Whatever! I have dated myself with that coin thing. Today you probably get a bike, a cell phone or color TV. But now I am being mercenary. This baby was part of history and it got me thinking.

In school it helped me “Duck and Cover” in the air raid drills at St Mary’s Elementary.That was actually a portent of things to come during food fights at Georgetown or the real thing in Viet Nam.It had accompanied me in walking down streets all over the world. Wall Street. Main Street.The Champs Elysees. A gazillion places and #30 never said a thing.

Every so often it would ache when I abused it with hard candy or a caramel. Needed a few repairs every now and then but took a licking and kept on ticking. It was a little mossy on a morning after a bad night but it had company with other parts of my body. At its most basic it helped me chomp on some 60,000 plus meals of all sorts. Home cooking and fancy cooking. In a far off place, some came in boxes and cans called C Rats. Never argued with me when I opened a can of eggs and ham that had been produced in 1950 although the time of absorption was 1970. Gotta do, what you gotta do.

As far as meals I think our favorite was a lunch at a vineyard in New Zealand. The red wine of choice to tickle that enamel had to be Silverado or The Prisoner. As for the whites it could only be Rombauer Chard.They call it California Crack. For spirits it was a single malt we tasted in Hobart, Tasmania. The best champagne was the day I got married.Nothing sweeter.Helped me to say I Do without garbling the words. As for water as WC Fields used to say,”I never touch the stuff.” There is a saltier version of that but I will spare you.

That speaking thing has served me well. As for my favorites that is a three way tie. He helped me hit it out of the park for my friend John’s and my mother’s eulogies. The other choice was when I had to stand in for my brother Kevin at a black tie dinner at the Pierre for the glitterati of the municipal bond business on Wall Street. He was supposed to get an ward but  was having brain surgery the next day…. in San Francisco. I told everyone not to look so glum. We were not talking about a vital organ here. I then proceeded to roast him for 20 minutes. They roared and clapped. I love it when a plan comes together.

Over the years he has seen presidents from Ike to Barak. He might be forever grateful he exited before next Tuesday. Popes have come and gone but he confided in me that he really liked this Frank guy. Funny how for all the folderol given to important people, they have moved on just like #30. Nice but forgotten.

That bicuspid had seen numerous cars. Some of them old heaps and some German beauties. He got bugs impaled on him when I used to drive the kids around town in my orange VW Thing with the windshield down. Gotta keep smiling no matter what. He had been with me when I found loves and friends. He had seen heartbreak and triumph. Joy and sadness. As the saying goes,”If these teeth could talk”.

Teeth are important to your grin. I have had so much fun he was always out there. A good belly whomping joke or a tender smile of a proud husband, parent or Padge. Perhaps it was just meeting an old friend or making a new one. I have been incredibly lucky and I better continue to keep that broad expression even if part of it is not original equipment.

There is a lesson here and I will try to keep it short. At least for me in this age or replacements parts, scraper houses, and our dispose all society, we would do well to consider things before we toss them aside. It is not saying we should not move forward but still respect all that has gone on before us. Take a look at your hands, your feet and even that face you think needs work. Like family and friends just think how fortunate we are to have them. Life is good and although we get used to new teeth, the latest car and maybe even loved ones, there is a lot of people and things that have served us well. As usual,that’s all that I ask. Just stop and think.

As always
Ted The Great.

Factoids:

In 7BC some genius made dentures out of gold and teeth from cadavers or animals. Later in the 17th century they were fabricated from wood which is like the beauties that George Washington sported.

No two people have the exact same set of teeth, meaning a person’s teeth are as unique as their fingerprints! Today, around forty percent of people over 65 years do not have a complete set of teeth.

If you’re right handed, you will chew your food on your right side. If you’re left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

Dentists would recommend that you keep your toothbrush at least six feet away from your toilet to avoid many airborne particles that results from flushing.Yuk!
The bristles of toothbrushes were originally made from the hair of hogs and cows. I guess this might be a little bit of the hair of the dog that bit you.

Posted From Bratislava, Slovakia.

Aboard the good ship Amastella we just had a wonderful performance from a classical trio. As they played this whole thing started coming together. Central Europe is at the same time, mysterious, tragic, and magical. This is wrapped up in a history that goes back millenia. The castles and cathedrals and moats tell a story of an area that is heaped in lore and tradition but where you wonder if in a highly technological world that past is no longer relevant. The notes we heard could have been played in a palace salon in 1800 or a lonely flat where the composer toiled. Do we even think that way now?

It is probably fitting that we have bounced from the Czech Republic to Germany to Austria and now Slovenia before ending up in Hungary. Languages, customs, foods, guides and of course wines have presented themselves for our observation and consideration. Each are incredibly provincial but at the same time evoking a common emotion.Thank God, the Danube ties it together somewhat.

The second longest river is Europe is not blue.I don’t know where they got that ? Probably just worked in the lyrics. But it is clear as a bell and serves as a boundary of all sorts. The fact that Romans populated the area is pretty astounding. There were no bullet trains or C130’s to move them from Rome so they set up fortifications and way stations throughout. As in all of Europe, war making for centuries has been a common pastime. Bow windows are for real crossbows or spears and gigantic ramparts are everywhere to keep out the opposing legions from storming the bastion.

It all makes sense when you start with people moving in and around the banks. Trading posts get set up and sooner than you know it, you have a city. Depending on the tribe they came from, their language can sound like Greek to everyone but themselves.That is a stumbling block throughout Europe.A lot of borders with people speaking in many tongues. I can’t help but think about the addition of Spanish as our second language in the US. Does it make our broadscape more of a home to all or just another dividing point. Of course you can reply that our English sounds strange in various parts of the America and y’all would be right. You betcha! Fugeddaboutit!

The traffic on this river is amazing.A major use is commerce and our 440 foot lady just came through a huge lock with a tug and two barges lashed tightly right alongside us. Tight quarters but we made it. We have encountered dozens upon dozens of riverboats like ours and there is no lack of clientele.There is rhythm and reverie to this stream and throughout mes amis, the mayhem of the world seems very far away.

Austria and Germany speak the same language but it sounds different. Our guide in Deutschland had a route to accomplish and she was going to do it quickly with a staccato like quality. The Austrians are more gentile and as in life they just let it happen. They are often criticized for their lack of creativity and spontaneity. If that is true, why is it the motherland of so many composers and architects? The University of Vienna is bold and dynamic with a design that looks like a Guggenheim museum as compared to the ivy covered quads of Oxford and Cambridge.

They love their country and it shows. Linz is somewhat industrial and was bombed repeatedly in WWII but they are proud of their rebuilding efforts however pedestrian. Then you venture into the Lakes region with incredible vistas and you see their deep respect for Mother Nature. It is probably why they are neat freaks. Everything is in order, especially their wood piles. They are stacked just perfectly. You don’t see junked cars or refrigerators in rural yards but well kept houses that seem freshly painted or stained. The roads comprised of the autobahns and beyond are in superb shape which enables them to set their cruise control at 130mph which works out to be some absurd number of kilometers.

On that count, gas is around $4.50 a gallon even with low oil prices. Most of it is taxes.There is a clever system where you pay a toll based on how much you drive and it is all done automatically. Like an EZ Pass on steroids. Their Highway Fund is not bankrupt. They have made healthcare work. Taxes are high but when you see what they provide you do have to stop and think. The universities are free for residents and that is without Feeling The Bernie.I don’t necessarily want to be a socialist but there are benefits.

Don’t worry, we do have a lot in common. Depending on the country corruption is either rampant or subdued. Politicians are despised everywhere. But what they do have is history. Over the centuries they have seen dynasties come and go. They have occupied lands and had the same done to them. There have been hundreds of great ideas on how to run a country from Caesar to Merkel. They will keep on adapting and trying to find the perfect fit and therein lies the simplicity of change. It never stops.

It is part of a pervasive feeling you get here. Life goes on no matter what. When you see cities and they tell you that this street or district was blown to smithereens in WWII, or maybe it was WWI, or perhaps Attila the Hun, you get the picture. C”est la guerre. Simply put they know how to take it down a notch. Meals are an occurrence not just a need of life. You take your time and have good conversation. Christmas and Sundays are to be celebrated and not just a good excuse for some good old fashioned commercialism.

That is not to say they are anti business. They know their talents don’t come cheaply so they play to their strengths and design and build precision instruments and machinery. There are more jobs than people. They make a good living but they as a whole are averse to debt. If they don’t have the money for something they save until they do.What are these people thinking? Don’t they understand Visa and AMEX are the keys to happiness?

In truth they aren’t any better or any worse than us. When you go through charming cities and streets you have to remember what it was like six or seven hundred years ago. The streets were filled with filth, plague and pestilence. You wouldn’t be surprised if someone threw garbage out the window from the fourth floor walkup.That is why guys walk on the outside. The water was rancid which was one of the great reasons for drinking beer. Even the rich had to have tapestries woven to keep the walls of their dank castles warm. And all this time you thought they were just pieces of art.

Tomorrow we will be in Budapest and then on to home. Would I live here? Probably not. I like our little aerie in Denver. As we have in other travels these are nice places to visit. I only wish we would appreciate all that we have as Americans and add a little bit of European flair to it. Take time to talk. Have enough money to make do but not conquer the world. As a nation Austria is neutral on the world stage.Not a bad thought. They used to be the world leader but that was during the Hapsburgs. No longer. Hmmm, maybe there is a message here.

As always
Ted The Great.

Observations: Just One. I found this in my wanderings. Appropriate!

In Heaven…
• the mechanics are German
• the chefs are French
• the police are British
• the lovers are Italian
• and everything is organized by the Swiss.
In Hell…
• the mechanics are French
• the police are German
• the chefs are British
• the lovers are Swiss
• and everything is organized by the Italians… Anonymous

Posted from Prague,Czech Republic….

We are in Prague and from the get go it is full of surprises. Of course just like the ugly American that I am, I figured there were only a few flights a day coming to this forsaken metropolis in Europe’s eastern frontier. While walking to customs I glanced at the Arrivals board and saw Dubai, Moscow, Beijing, London and Tokyo for openers. This city of castles and cathedrals is at the same time historic, cosmopolitan and full of energy. Point taken by a humbled TTG.

The drive to the city showcases several housing areas that are extremely well kept but with an institutional flair. Our guide told us these were sold to citizens after the Velvet Revolution in 1989 at very advantageous prices. Much of it had been been constructed by the Communists. What a stark comparison to the same type of housing outside St Petersburg which is still under Communist control. The Russian model produced decay and rust, while democracy and self ownership had pride reflected in the impeccable exteriors.

The sprawling buildings that represent Prague itself demonstrate every manner of architecture from Gothic to art deco. Streets in the Old Town are cobblestone and the facades of buildings have been kept intact for centuries. The interiors may be brassy and bold but the law keeps “scrapers” out and the charm is marvelous.

As we walked along the Vitava River we were somewhat blown away by the breadth of the city from a physical and historical point of view. Prague is a actually a compilation of four ancient towns joined by the famous Charles Bridge. There have been kings and princes and Holy Roman Emperors. all playing a part in its evolution not to even mention the totalitarian occupations of the twentieth century.

You have Czechs, Slovaks, Germans, Austrians,Russians and who knows what coming together to flavor the food as well as the culture. It is almost as if ruling parties through this part of Europe have been conquering and dividing the countryside over the centuries partly through the spoils of victory and partly as tradeoffs on the chessboards of power.I have often mused as to how people can be so docile to takeover. Then you realize the amalgams of peoples are matter of fact. Yet some hostilities are ingrained and you wonder if it will ever work .Sound familiar? And our American differences aren’t even remotely as complex.

The most unsettling area of Prague is the old Jewish ghetto. This dates back as early as the 15th century. If inhabitants wanted to go outside of their confines back then, they had to wear a yellow hat.They still earmark this section of town as such but more for historical and tourist reasons. Hitler came here and was able to condemn 70% of the Jewish residents to the gas chambers. If he was an anomaly maybe it would be okay but he was not. Why is this true throughout our world from South Africa to the Middle East to probably America? What makes the Jewish religion so hated for millenia? I wish I knew.

Speaking of religion it has thrown another wrench into the mix. The area was predominantly Catholic in the Dark Ages but as the Age of Enlightenment moved forward, some were fed up with the antics of the Popes and wanted to see reforms . Ergo the formation of Protestantism. In the long run you had to pick sides in the battle and make formal choice between one or the other. Many did not do so for fear of retribution so they were listed as atheists. Prague with all its religious history has become the largest atheistic city in the world. As Paul Harvey would say, And now you know the rest of the story!

Beer is the national drink and they can have it for breakfast, lunch or dinner It has many recipes but the Pilsener is exceptional. You pay less for a beer than you do for bottled water. They also take pride in their wine. We went to a Czech restaurant for dinner and entertainment last night. This guy kept walking around with a yard of white wine in one hand and a yard of red in the other .That’s right like you would see a yard of beer. He would keep filling glasses reaching across the table and using his index finger as the stopper. What a country! It the US he would have to be in violation of some health law.

The floor show was a local group of strings, brass and of all things a dulcimer. As the dancers stomped and turned in ethnic garb you could almost see the gypsy in their eyes.Half sadness. Half merriment. with just a pinch of lust thrown in for good measure. They had a cellist who also performed in the National Symphony. She did a solo and was magnificent. Imagine in one of our major cities if first chair violinist or cellist had to do gigs in a local restaurant to make ends meet? Chest la vie. Sorry, I don’t know how to say that in Czech.

I am sorry I have put on my Rick Steve’s hat once again. I hope it is not a travelogue but a little insight to the soul of where we travel. We leave tomorrow to meet up with our river boat as we meander towards Budapest with several stops along the way. It fascinates me that somehow with all the drama of the centuries these places have survived and thrived. Somehow they suck it up and make it work. I am sure there have been plenty of obituaries written without ever having gone to press.

The best part of our trip is the lack of TV and newspapers or at least those written in English. It is refreshing to have conversations and loll over coffee or lunch. Somehow like the places we visit you have the feeling this will all work out somehow. Not from naivete or fantasies of Pollyanna but from looking at all this history and taking heart.

As always
Ted The Great

Observations:

Very few bicyclists or motorcyclists are present on city streets. There is an excellent system of transportation via subway or tram. Drivers in cars are required to stop for pedestrians in crosswalks but not the trams. The hit the horn and seem to pick up speed.
This city is as clean as a whistle. There is absolutely no trash anywhere. The Londoners were not so civil. It was not unusual to see trash in the street or on sidewalks. I thought the Brits were civil?

There are literally dozens of swans beneath the Charles Bridge. They have obviously been well fed by the tourists. Prime time for Prague is spring and fall. It seems Europeans want to head to the shore in summer.

The Chinese and Japanese tourists are rude and obnoxious to a fault. They do not understand queuing and are somewhat oblivious to any other human beings. The lovely Kathy seems to think this is due to the crowded cities of Asia. Every man or woman for themselves. Dunno but that still doesn’t explain why they take pictures of everything including the loos? We can only hope they were not in tape mode.

Posted from Wimbledon,England.

“Smoked Salmon with Herbed Goat Cheese and Toast. That is for many American tennis fans who watch morning Wimbledon matches. Across the pond, however, tradition dictates strawberries and cream, Pimm’s cup, and other English delights.”

Neither of these were my fare this morning but the scrambled eggs and toast at the Kenny’s of London were just as delightful. Kathy and I flew across the pond yesterday and arrived late last night. I had to crawl out of bed this AM to see my grandsons before their trek to school. And a haul it is as they walk 1.5 miles each way through city streets to get there. This is but one of many differences in their education.

It was raining in London this day and of course I asked how the boys were going to get there? They simply opened their “brollies” and set out with friends. Makes perfect sense. No car. No ride. On your own boys! They were decked out in their white shirts and ties and blazers. It seems in England all students wear uniforms of some sort whether the school is government or public. Oddly enough, the latter refers institutions such as Eton and Harrow.

I always wore a uniform to school and wondered why the fuss about it in the US? Many parents take offense at the thought, for fear their child may not be able to express themselves properly. The boys attend Wimbledon College which is a state school and they are strict as to attire and appearance. The thought behind this I discovered is twofold: First with a uniform they take pride in their appearance and at the same time no one is any better than anyone else. Secondly they are taught to distinguish themselves not by what they wear or have but by their demeanor and talents as an educated person. Hmm…now there is an interesting concept

I decided to peruse the “Guide For New Parents” at WC. To be fair this is a Catholic school for boys that is run by the Jesuits. Yes, you heard me right, it is a religious school under the auspices of United Kingdom Department of Education. Seems history plays large part in this. Some of you might find that offensive or in the vision statement that includes,”Caring for the individual, showing love in deeds, building a christian community, engaging with the wider world, encouraging excellence and finding God in all things.” I just hope you cannot argue with the sentiment if not the verbiage.

The school goes back to 1897 and has around 1300 students in 6 grades. They divide into “Houses.” It is not a boarding school but the feeling of family is evident. Simply put,the older kids take care of the younger ones not only at orientation but throughout their whole time at WC.If things go right or wrong the House is regaled or disciplined as a unit. There is also detention that sometimes is assigned on Saturdays. At Loyola in NYC we used to call it “Jug”.

My grandsons are 11 and soon to be 13. They participate in rugby and other school activities. The rugby practice areas are a distance away and in the first term the young ones are transported.After that they have to find their own way. Throughout, independence and dealing with adversity is put upon the lads. If they forget the assignment or fail to get it done on time they are the ones that have to do the explaining, not the parents.

Mom and dad are encouraged to be involved but not to be an intermediary. If you have a problem you do the negotiating not Mum. In GB, education is stressed from an early age as they have a two track system that stresses further education or training in the trades.The rails don’t meet. This is a bit elitist but upon further investigation the opportunities are equal to everyone to a point. Being state schools and open enrollment, it is up to the parent no matter what the economic class to be a part of the process.

There are no admission tests to get into Wimbeldon College. Kids are assigned to certain classes and groups by their achievement on tests after they arrive. They try to put them in where they can make the most of their abilities. Also each one gets a target grade in each subject to prevent setting goals too high on one hand or
too low on the other.

They go to class for 6 hours a day. As they say being late is unacceptable. There is homework every night which can range from 1 to over 2 hours. Sports are rugby, football, swimming and tennis. There is PT and other activities from music to drama. I can’t stress enough what is an attempt to affect the boy in every aspect of education. From book learning to morality, by seeing wrong from right, to keeping themselves in shape. Keep in mind this whole curriculum is in a state run school.

They are tough but caring. Teachers everywhere would love to have some sort of discipline and a structure that encourages cooperation. Sure we have bad kids, teachers and parents at home but it seems to me that it takes all three to create failure, not just one leg of the stool.The impressive part of my grandkids’ school seems to be the development of the whole child not just expertise in math or science. They are recognized and supported as a whole person not just a statistic in ratings.The kids are stressed at times but they are taught to deal with it.They seem incredibly happy and committed.

Is this foolproof or without failing? Of course not. For instance,cell phones are not allowed in any way shape or fashion at school. Do kids have them? To be sure. However if they are caught they are confiscated for good. Do I dare say this is a little different form of the “fear of God”? I am sure some fall through the cracks but it is not for the want of trying.

We are searching for a new way to make our schools work better in America. Here in Merry Old England they have a system that is centuries old.Is it the right way? Who knows? Is there a chance that in our quest for improvement we may have overlooked what is right before our eyes? Interesting question and one I will ponder over my third cup of coffee while sitting at the kitchen table having Breakfast at Wimbeldon. It’s wonderful.

As always
Ted The Great

At the government schools in England including Wimbledon College the government provides for all. If students can’t afford uniforms, school supplies or lunches it is taken care of for free. This is all done without any fanfare or notoriety.

At age 16 British students take exams for the General Certificate of Secondary Education or other Level 1/2 qualifications. While education is compulsory until 18, schooling is only compulsory to 16, thus post-16 education can take a number of forms, and may be academic or vocational.

The English go to school from September to July. There are three terms and those are each divided in two. There are breaks or “Holidays” between terms.

European homes are by design minimalistic. At my son’s they live in a gracious three story row house. There is a kitchen and sitting room on the first floor. They have no car but use public transportation or walk. It is more than comfortable and charming and somehow it works.

This morning Kathy and I were waiting patiently for our neighbor to take us to the airport for the start of our latest Magical Mystery Tour. I flipped on the TV and was bombarded by every pundit in the world who wanted to tell me what I saw during the Vice Presidential debate last night. I only watched the last five minutes and that was plenty. Another 90 minutes of mindless mud slinging. Been there. Done that.

Wanting one last look as to whether the financial world was coming to an end I deftly shifted to CNBC. It seems there is a cyber security conference going on in Cambridge and who better to describe the action than that mad bomber known as Jim Cramer. The conversation got away from a plebeian thing called security and got to the real meat of our netherworld….Artificial Intelligence. After watching Messrs. Kaine and Pence and Hilary and the Donald I would opt for any kind of intelligence.

For those hopelessly locked in the Dark Ages, Artificial Intelligence(AI) is swiftly giving computers the ability to think like humans. As a matter of fact the consensus is that they will be able to think better than mere mortals within a few years. At first this is rather unsettling. But upon further examination, there might be something to this. Think of all our failings and foibles being corrected by son of IMac.

It appears this thing called emotion gets in the way of rational thinking. You should be able to load x number of factors into the computer, add an algorithm here and there and Voila you have the best possible solution to everything from your investments, dietary needs, athletic performance and relationships.The possibilities are endless. Everything is reduced to percentages of success and optimization of effort. There is no question as to how you should operate.

To find a need for this kind of expertise I have to go to the most irrational of institutions on earth, our government. As a matter of fact if we figure this out we could probably apply it to just about any ruling scheme in our universe. We all know that our current system makes no sense even if the Founding Fathers thought they were brilliant. Basically you put power in the hands of the few that are supposed to represent all of us but we know it is all about them. Whether it is the legislative or executive branch you can pretty much put money on the guy or gal who garners the most monetary gain. Of course they will tell you it has no effect on their decision making but have already concluded that we are not dealing with straight shooters.

For instance a computer will tell you we run a big deficit. When outlays surpass intake the bus is heading for a large cliff. Right there in black and white. The digital solution is to curtail spending or up the ante. What is so hard about that? When deciding where to cut we should consider where we do the least damage and obtain the highest return. Unfortunately our pols don’t get this higher math and that equates with grid lock.

Infrastructure also comes to mind. When you own a house and you have something broken, you fix it. If your car breaks down constantly you repair or replace it otherwise your butt is staying in place for the foreseeable future. I don’t even need my IPad for that. Yet today our highways, electric grid, and airports as well as water and sewer are well beyond Band Aids and Neosporin. We don’t raise the gasoline tax for 35 years. We turn down tolls as being unfair. We wait until disaster strikes even though there are dozens of Flints on the horizon. Analyze that.

Now this is all depressing and I want to think about possibilities and not maladies. I want to play golf where I am told what club to hit taking in all factors, atmospheric and psychologic. Shooting par is a given and the Ryder Cup unnecessary because we will know the result before it happens. No more head injuries in football because the game will be played on a circuit board. Baseball, tennis etc? All you need is a joy stick.

As I sit in this metal tube some 38,000 feet above the ground I think travel will come to a halt. Check out virtual reality to transport us. You will travel to faraway places without leaving your living room. Strapping on the Oculus goggles, you will be right smack in the Taj Mahal or Sistine Chapel. You can ski down the Matterhorn without killing yourself. Board meetings? Your seat will be your Barcalounger and you will be privy to every facial reaction and nuance at the table. You will have a printout that will tell you the boss is cheating on you and his wife. It is right there in his DNA.

Speaking of which, healthcare will take care of itself. My nephew tells me we will have a portal we pass through every day and it will determine minute changes in the cellular structure of all of our various poundages. It will attack tumors or viruses at their very onset enabling all of us to live to be 150. Ain’t that a treat!

Relationships? No sweat. By body chemistry you will be able to discover if Mr or Miss Wonderful is really right for you. Bars will close and liquor sales will plunge because the pickup lines and groveling for phone numbers will be passe’. As a matter of fact driverless cars, virtual dating and artificial insemination will make any sort of physical contact not the best use of your valuable free time. I guess that is good?

Does all this sound crazy? Maybe yes? Maybe no? The cognoscenti think it is not if but when. I think with our mega egos, we just may get beyond the tipping point without realizing we overshot it. We may have created a monster or our own doing and at our own peril. There may be nothing artificial nor intelligent about that. It may be plain dumb.

As always
Ted The Great.

Factoids:

Customer relationship management (CRM) is a term that refers to practices, strategies and technologies that companies use to manage and analyze customer interactions and data throughout the customer lifecycle, with the goal of improving business relationships with customers, assisting in customer retention and driving future commerce.

This is the “new world” AI seeks. They want to do this all through cyberware. Interesting but provocative. It is wonderful we can put machines to use for us. It is when the machines view us the other way around that gets me thinking.