Unless you have been on the latest Chinese rocket ship to outer space you have seen clips from Sunday night’s “60 Minutes.”  Jeff Bezos, CEO from Amazon.com, was holding court with Charlie Rose. He was enumerating  fact after fact of how many times and how fast they process goods  and then blew everyone away with the future…at least as he saw it. His company has been researching the use of drones to deliver packages. Some were in awe and some said he was nuts and yet there he was at least thinking about it. Very cool.

I started doing a little research. It seems Amazon can process over 300 orders per second! That is crazy. Sir Jeff goes on to describe how in the early days he would bring the packages to the post office himself. His one big dream was to one day have so much business in a warehouse that he could buy a fork lift. From the tiny acorn a great oak grows. This fiasco of a healthcare rollout got me thinking even more. We are trying to take care of a few thousand inquiries an hour.

Let’s look at Facebook. They have 1.26 billion users worldwide. There are 2.2 billion hits a day. Big deal,you say.  You just give a thumbs up or down. kiddies we are talking about a complex site for Obamacare. Okay, let’s look at Google. There are 3 billion inquiries for info daily. 500 million are for things they have never been queried on before. They peruse 20 billion sites to find you the correct answer in seconds. Are you getting my drift?

For a moment let’s not debate the efficacy of the Affordable Care Act but the process. For three years now we have been planning the rollout. I say we because like it or not you and I foot the bill. At the helm is Kathleen Sebelius. Her resume states she had been Governor of Kansas and before that the state’s insurance commissioner. Hold that thought and become a head hunter. Would you have chosen this person to be the head of a $982 billion corporation? To give a little perspective Walmart is a $470 billion enterprise, GE $147 billion and Ford Motor a mere $134 billion.

Let’s get off that bandwagon and swing onto defense. Chuck Hagel is a nice guy like Ms. Sebelius. He was an enlisted man in the Army and went to Viet Nam. Thank you for your service. He went on to become a US Senator and then Secretary of Defense. He is now in charge of a $683 billion corporation with worldwide operations and a multitude of subsidiaries. Was he in your top ten of candidates?

Don’t be so smug all you righties. This ain’t particularly  Anti Obama. You remember Mike Leavitt. He was HHS secretary under Bush. He went to Southern Utah University and then was Governor of Utah. The BeeHive state is beautiful but I am not sure it is a proving ground for executive talent. Paul Bremer was the civilian in charge for Iraq when we invaded. His management expertise was drawn from a diplomatic career. In the first few days he fired 400,000 Iraqi soldiers who would have cost us $12 million a month to keep on….and out of the way. Gotta watch those numbers and it only cost us $1.25 trillion to get out of that one.

Now let’s just say you are a stockholder of the overall entity. Unfortunately we are.  You keep putting up money on a annual basis. We are taking some pretty big losses year over year. The balance sheet doesn’t look so good to the tune of  $16 trillion in the red. That’s okay because we should start turning a profit in say around 2025. Hey. Twitter is losing money too.

I’ll tell you what. Let’s do some cost cutting. We will close down some money losing operations, fire staff and rein in expenditures. Right. We have weapons systems that have been defunded for years  but the offices remain open. Ditto about one hundred military installations that serve no other purpose than to prop up the local economy. We need Carl Icahn, Leon Black and KKR to come in and clean house.

Maybe we can do it internally?  One of our divisions(Health and Human Services) has between $80-100 billion in fraudulent transactions per annum but they are making progress. They recovered fully $5 billion of those lost funds with a small group of investigators. What’s that you say? Hire more watchdogs? Can’t do that. The Board of Directors (Congress) doesn’t want you to go this route. It wouldn’t look good to be bringing on new staff.

That’s okay we have a lean business plan to guide us. Our primary revenue blueprint has 4 million words in the code. It is so fraught with loopholes it is a wonder anyone pays in. Back in the 30’s and 40’s we had laws that were only a few pages long. Yeah but they didn’t have a clue how tough this governing thing is.

One thing we do know is how to budget and plan for our future. I can prove that. It is estimated that most infrastructure projects run only 38% over what was projected. We have this thing down to a science. Jet fighters, aircraft carriers, web sites? You have to know when to hold them and when to fold them. Relax,we are getting there. It is a learning curve.

We are finally getting this exchange website going. A senior exec from Google is on leave  from California and leading the charge. Duh? We have burned through millions of dollars and precious man (and woman) hours to finally figure this out. There are people in government who are very talented. I am sure there are a lot of nice well meaning people in government that really don’t have a clue. Then there are a bunch of fat cats (elected,appointed,and civil serviced) who see it as one big gravy train. Keep your mouth shut and try to stay out of trouble.

It would humorous and somewhat intriguing if it wasn’t a $3.5 trillion business with 2.75 million employees. It is beyond unwieldly and out of control. We need to streamline. We need a stockholder revolt. We need a new strategic plan. We need a new board of directors. It really is some of our business. Let’s storm the Bastille or wherever.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids

Health and Human Services has several thousand people still  on its rolls who are dead. They pay them Social Security and Government Pension funds annually. They say the few hundred million we dole out is not considered a priority.

In 2008 The Government Accounting Office (GAO) reported that 72 weapons programs in the military have average cost overruns of 40%

The Capitol Visitor Center was projected to cost $265 million in 2000. The final cost was $621 million in 2008.  Think it was worth it to see these schmoes up front and personal?

The Big Dig in Boston was originally pegged at $2.6 billion in 1986 and was opened in 2005. The total cost including interest will be $22 billion. For that a concrete ceiling tile that was substandard fell and killed a motorist.

The majority of these overruns are plagued by poor project planning and lack of experience. The government should be in the business of legislating and the management of projects and facilities should be left to private business who can be both rewarded for achievement and culpable for failure. Hey, I can dream can’t I?

I now live in a lofty perch or at least as high as the fifth floor gets you. It is a gorgeous Denver morning and the mountains beckon just beyond our downtown skyline. I am thinking of Thanksgiving in a rather simplistic way. My mind wanders back to as many bird days as I can for my 68 years. I am fascinated by the roller coaster of emotions I have felt.

I spent one of those in a far off place called Nam. We were almost home. A few more days and a wakeup. Family and a very cute fiancee awaited. It didn’t seem right to be going to the feast in cammies and boon dockers. They actually had tablecloths of a sort in the mess hall. We were served turkey and lobster. Why not? As you finished that last piece of pumpkin pie you said a prayer that a sapper wouldn’t use this opportunity for one last shot. All over this world our guys and gals are on watch thinking the same thing. Say thank you for their service.

People get down at the holidays. As you all might know I was diagnosed with clinical depression some twenty odd years ago. In your mind you want things to be perfect. You have this expectation however misshapen not just for a meal but the events in and around it. I am not sure just what happens but somehow the script goes awry.

Uncle Lenny has too much to drink and makes a snide comment. There is always some member who knows it all. And ah yes the rebel. Comes late. Isn’t dressed properly and might God forbid be showing a tattoo or body piercing. Then all hell breaks loose. Norman Rockwell didn’t paint this. The wife can’t believe this is all happening. She just wanted everything to be perfect. Oh well, there is always next year.

Please don’t lose faith. I haven’t. There is that one year when it just comes together. Once while living in Chatham we had about twenty members of the family and the table extensions went into the living room. Our kids and nieces and nephews were in their teens. As we sat talking over coffee, Kathy’s dad, Big Dave, got things rolling. He did not have a lot of formal education but was brilliant. Read the New York Times cover to cover every day.

He did the unthinkable. He dropped a live grenade in the middle of the table when he asked the assemblage,”What about gays in the military?” There were lefties and righties present so this was about to get good. Then a strange calmness came over the table. Sure the discussion was lively but lo and behold it was civil. Each had their points to make but each also listened. This was totally unexpected and beyond beautiful. We all made a vow to do this the very same time next year. It might just work.

I am completely turned of by the Black Friday bullshit that has now morphed into Thursday. I find it incredible that our insatiable lust for things has totally transformed what should be a day of rest and spiritual things into mayhem where people literally trample others to death in their quest for the deal of the century. We will cover it on TV and shake our heads. But I fear somewhere down the line this will be more and more commonplace. What a jerk you are TTG. Don’t you realize this is what the public wants? Or at least we are made to feel this way. Besides how else would we be able to increase sales from last year? Don’t you realize by some quirk of fate and the Julian calendar there are three less shopping days this year? What was I thinking?

Some of you will have a marvelous day and that is good. Some of you will mourn a loved one and that is understandable and so sad. Some of you will have had life changing events for better or worse. You might be celebrating a new life or a different career. Some of you will have the emptiness of no job or a lost love. I wish I could raise a glass to the triumphant and kiss and make go away the hurts of the afflicted. Life is not fair and I can’t even ponder the imponderables some of you might have.

But then again amidst this panoply good and bad vibes there is one emotion that I can only wish would outshine all the others. That is hope. One of those crazy words in our vocabulary that just sounds good to say. This isn’t pollyanna but rather one of the greatest gifts we have as humans been given. Against all odds we can dream. We can take the worst situation and find some glimmer that says somehow some way things just might get better. This is a Great Expectation. At least for me and I HOPE for you.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

The Plymouth Pilgrims were the first to celebrate the Thanksgiving. The first Thanksgiving celebration lasted three days. Walmart and Best Buy didn’t exist then. Lobster, rabbit, chicken, fish, squashes, beans, chestnuts, hickory nuts, onions, leeks, dried fruits, maple syrup and honey, radishes, cabbage, carrots, eggs, and goat cheese are thought to have made up the first Thanksgiving feast.

Sarah Josepha Hale, an American magazine editor, persuaded Abraham Lincoln to declare Thanksgiving a national holiday. She is also the author of the popular nursery rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb”

In 1939, President Roosevelt proclaimed that Thanksgiving would take place on November 23rd, not November 30th, as a way to spur economic growth and extend the Christmas shopping season. Now that’s what I am talkin’ about.

In the US, about 280 million turkeys are sold for the Thanksgiving celebrationsEach year, the average American eats somewhere between 16 – 18 pounds of turkey.The average weight of a turkey purchased at Thanksgiving is 15 pounds.The heaviest turkey ever raised was 86 pounds, about the size of a large dog.

Turkeys have heart attacks. The United States Air Force was doing test runs and breaking the sound barrier. Nearby turkeys dropped dead with heart attack. And that’s the truth. Have great day.

Merriam Webster tells us Dogma is: a belief or set of beliefs that is accepted by the members of a group without being questioned or doubted. The definition alone turns me off. It’s not so much for the actual principles but for someone to tell me that I can’t question goes against my very grain. My Archbishop once asked me if I had a problem with authority. Maybe yes? Maybe no? I am not an anarchist. I will play by most rules but my Jesuit upbringing demands that I question just about everything.

This whole dogma thing is related primarily to religion but there are other aspects we will discuss later. Most of you know I believe in God and no matter what your preference I hope you will at least give me the fact there was a guy named Jesus who walked the dirt roads back a couple of thousand years ago. He had a basic message to love one another. He spoke of heaven and possibly hell. He said He was the Way, the Truth and the Life. You do not have to agree. Just follow the bouncing ball.

While here and after He left, there were people writing things down and Peter was elected Chairman of the Board. They had a creed which was rather simplistic and well presented. This was dogma. The centuries passed and the plot thickened. You see there was money and power in this religious and more specifically Christian gig. The boys in red discovered they could keep everyone in line by really emphasizing the fire and brimstone. Nobody could read or write and that was fine with them. Just tell them what you want. And so it continued through the Dark Ages. Dogmatic? You bet.

Not everyone was subservient and God forbid some even started thinking on their own. This was the Renaissance. Guys like Copernicus and Gallileo were labeled whacks or more specifically heretics. Columbus said the world was round not flat. Artists started finding new colors on their palettes and the genie was out of the bottle. Theories were challenged and this wonderful thing called creativity was brought out of its long hibernation.

The hierarchy started to be put under close scrutiny and thank goodness they were. The dogma of the church was being dictated by the few in an incredibly restrictive way. This isn’t a shot at the church per se but the people who ruled it. This affected centuries of civilization and millions of people. It is fascinating to me that people like St Thomas More, St Augustine and Thomas Aquinas to name a few did not stand up out sooner.

Fast forward to the twenty first century. We are now discovering at a voracious clip. Not only are we being creative but the tools to do so are becoming more affordable and accessible. Globalization has made the continents and their inhabitants a click away. We are questioning but even more importantly dreaming dreams we never thought possible.

This is difficult to absorb for a lot of people, especially us old farts. We revel in how things used to be and a lot of us pine for the good old days. We find ourselves going back and either creating or reinstating dogmas of all sorts. Enter politics. Whether you are left or right you feel attacked and vulnerable. Remember it is a set of beliefs that have to be adhered to. One size fits all and nobody steps out of line.

Herein lies the basis of our discontent. On one hand you are saying toe the line and on the other your psyche says how exciting and dynamic the world is. The oracles claim infallibility. They know what conservative or liberal is and there is no room for discussion. You are with us or agin us. Moderates? There is no such thing. And I will tell you it not only restricts any creativity it squashes it flat before it can even bud. That’s unhealthy and naive. I find it beyond belief when one side or the other votes in lockstep in Congress. Are you telling me no man or woman legislator feels a pang of disingenuousness when they vote this way or that?

No, this isn’t one more potshot at DC. I think it is woven into our fabric elsewhere and it will stunt us in the long run. The code or shall I say the dogma of the locker room says you can’t speak up no matter which side you are taking. Cops have a Blue Wall. What about the corporate dogma that says this is the way we are doing it and if you don’t like it there’s the door? Haven’t the Armed Forces gone down this road for decades? Maybe you or I as parents and grandparents fall into the tender trap?

I am not opting for chaos but man is it great just to be able to sit here and let things fly. Jesuit 101 says you question something until you fully understand it and that my friends is the only way you can internalize it. TTG 101 says take off the shackles of tradition. Explore, debate and dream and just realize there are a lot of ways to skin the cat.

You do not have the final answer. You are not God’s gift to whatever world you operate in. Sure you are smart but so are a lot of other people. Mark Twain said we are all perfect just at different things. Rather than going out to the lunatic fringe of your philosophies let’s see where there are common threads. Create(and I stress that word) a new sense of things.

Look at the new corporations of today. They are collaborative and wide open. They let things come pouring out. Sure they might crash and burn but then again like Twitter they might just make it and then some. Dogma should set out basic precepts but don’t ever say they can’t be questioned. There’s always room for discussion. If it feels good to be unyielding and doctrinaire go for it. Me? I would much rather dream in technicolor than set my beliefs in black and white.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Our educational system is based on testing to see if the student can recite back exactly what the teacher has said. Da Vinci tried to live his life saying there are multiple answers to questions.
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Neophobia: extreme or irrational fear or dislike of anything new, novel, or unfamiliar.This is exhibited in children with food pickiness and in the elderly with anything that is out of the ordinary which is the only way they can feel comfortable.

Quotes:
“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up”. Pablo Picasso
“All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning.” — Albert Camus

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.” Kurt Vonnegut

“It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom. Without this it goes to wrack and ruin without fail.” Albert Einstein

“When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.” Cynthia Heimel

I am not up to superstar status with the TV remote but I am not bad either. I can tell when my flipping has reached astronomical proportions when Kathy’s sighs are not those of romance but of impending destruction of my brain. Listen we have 137 channels of TV to be watched. I just can’t let them sit idly by. I don’t have Dish TV so I have to screen out the ads by a flick of the fast forward button. 

There are times when you can’t avoid the barrage of subliminal messages. I don’t like watching football on tape and ditto for the news. While working out it is tough to zip from one channel to the other so I am stuck being sold to. And of course I now have to wait for the ads on my computer while bringing up Yahoo Mail or checking my account balances. Kathy does question the popups for “Meeting Singles in Your Area” or “Beautiful Women Over 50 are Dying To Meet You.” Dying might be the operative word. Anyway, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

But how did they find me? Aha, a little thing called demographics. By responding to ads of any sort you are now caught in a web that is far more sophisticated than the NSA. It’s that little slice of society you belong to that is defined by your age, sexual preference, income, locale, party leanings etc. Several years ago at Vail I was delighted I didn’t have to carry cash or a credit card because it was imbedded in my ski pass. Then this mental giant discovered that they could trail me all over the mountain and Vail Village. You can’t erase it. You are a marked man or woman. 

Now this isn’t just hoidy toidy ski resorts. It’s your gas station, food store, church. You name it. If you look online or pay by card you are in the loop. But why go to all that trouble? Well it seems we spend over $500 billion on advertising every year. Right now about $100 billion of that is spent on line and growing. The more direct it can be the more successful it is or at least the theory goes. Ask an ad man how much you should spend on advertising and you get the Buffalo Shuffle. 

Enough about theory, what strikes me about advertising is manyfold. Getting back to that demographic thing it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out football selling. Booze,Brats and Broads. Oh yeah and big ass pick up trucks. Testosterone is in the air and on the TV. But then as I watch Fox News the products of the day are scooters for the disabled, gold bullion, and of course my favorite, portable catheters. The latter is a sleek new design and they will send you a free sample. Ugh! Rounding out the lineup are reverse mortgages and disability lawyers. Hmm I wonder what that means about Fox watchers? CNN is bad but not quite as.

Speaking of lawyers you gotta love the unabashed commercialism of auto accidents and supermarket falls. During the local evening news there is not one but several slime balls coming on the screen with heartfelt sympathy for your pain. “Frank Azar will get you the money you deserve”. “Frank got me $2.5 million.” This of course by an industry that places their standards so high they put Esquire after their name. 

There is one product that seemingly transcends every program genre. Erectile Disfunction tablets or more specifically Cialis and that little blue bomber, Viagra. This obviously crosses the line between privacy and incredulity but it actually is pretty funny. As any hot blooded American male will agree what else would you think of when you are cleaning the garage, painting a room or that old stand by doing the dishes? We then pan from that to dual claw foot tubs looking off into the sunset. I tried to get my old neighbor to go joint account with me on two of those babies(the tubs) but he turned me down. He’s a lawyer and was concerned about the liability aspect. Which brings up another touchy subject. “If you have an erection that lasts over four hours seek medical help.” Forget calling the doc. If it was me I’d be calling a press conference.But I digress. 

The basis of all advertising is to try to sell you something you don’t really need. They prey upon the basest of instincts, your ego or taken to the adverse, your lack of self esteem. You cannot get the girl without drinking this beer or driving this car. Want to look like a movie star? Dye your hair, lose weight and get a Victoria Secret push up bra. It’s easy. On the other hand if you want to remain a slug or a hag feel free to do so. I think there was one company that was using real live ordinary people for their ads for soap or shampoo. I wonder how that went? 

The bottom line is simple. We get bombarded day and night with messages to buy STUFF. That’s okay. It is the American way no matter how seedy that seems. It is for the most part never never land. You are not going to shoot 75 with your new irons. You can’t lose weight overnight. The rush from new car smell or a new dining room set is fleeting. You don’t need things to define you. Things don’t have soul. You do. I wish we would advertise that but then again there is no real money in it.

As Always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

Definitions.. YUPPIE of course a young urban professional. DINK…dual income no kids. SINK…single income no kids. SUNK….single income, lots of kids. Boomerang kids…leave home and come back. 

New products and promotions are best introduced on TV. Reselling of old products to loyal customers is best accomplished on social media. Nobody talks of radio anymore. 

2/3 of consumers say the best medium is TV. Only 1/2 of marketers agree. What do we know? 

Advertisers spend $168 per phone in advertising. They spend $230 per TV. The most effective advertising of all is personal recommendation from a friend. This can account for over 75% of all sales. 

I am giving blood platelets this afternoon. It’s nothing special but it’s nice to be loved. Actually I’m a universal donor and the nurses truly seem happy to see me. The process is simple. They take blood out of you, strip out the good stuff and then return whatever is left to your veins and it courses throughout your decrepit body. I wonder if they know all the bad things I have done to that corpus over the years?

I first started doing it as a matter of routine until I found out it was an urgent need for cancer victims. I know a lot of people with and some who have died from the big “C” so it gave me added incentive. As you lie there for an hour and half to two hours you can’t help but think. And then, Shazam! I’ve got it! I am going to send these little suckers to Uncle Sam.

All along I have thought the government has been slowly sucking me dry. I got it wrong. There are cancers everywhere in DC that need to be healed. The Executive Branch. The Legislative Branch. Of course the Judicial Branch. Committees. Under, under, under Secretaries. The Military. Now I know why we have the NIH. Just you wait friends. The cure, not the end is near.

Let’s start with 1600 Pennsylvania. Now this is probably overstating the obvious but I think the prognosis is advanced brain cancer with a touch of Alzheimers on the side. Nobody in their right mind could screw things up this badly. About five years ago these guys and girls came in with a new approach. They were going to be transparent. They were going to be for us. They were in great physical shape. Say Amen and join the choir. Change you can believe in. Right.

The honeymoon didn’t last long. There was aberrant behavior almost from the get go. One of the first hires was Rahm Emanuel. Yeek! It seemed to be affecting every one of them. Was it a virus? AIDS? Drug addiction? Nope. A fatal tumor in the cerebellum blocking any rational thought. Stage four. No chemo. No radiation. Radical surgery was the only answer. We used to call them lobotomies but we are much more touchy feely now. It is also the perfect out. Benghazi? Can’t remember. Did I tell you that you could keep your insurance? Couldn’t have said that. NSA? Who are they. One down and several to go.

Legislate this. As we race down Constitution Ave. in our NIH meat wagon we have another epidemic. Congress is wandering around like Jews in the desert. They have no idea where they are going and Moses is on sabbatical. Factions of all sorts are cropping up and everyone thinks they are the Messiah. They are all grabbing their posteriors and babbling. Is this the gift of tongues or the sign of something worse?

Maybe it’s the food? It might be in the water? Sorry gang but they all have colorectal cancer. What to do with such a disaster? Spend money. What else?. We can find a cure they say. Who needs a plan? Just start the project and we will come up with details as we go along. Terminal? Maybe, but we can drag this thing out for years without facing the Reaper. Uh Oh. The docs have the same damn Bama solution. The KNIFE.

For once Chuck Schumer didn’t want to grab the microphone and go first. He said he was tied up. Sorry Charlie, you are it. Drop your drawers. Where is Anthony Wiener when we need him? They wheeled him in to the Congressional operating room. There was gold and marble everywhere. Plenty of food and lobbyists showering money. When they cut him open they only found two moving parts…his mouth and his rectum. And miraculously they were both mutually interchangeable. Praise Jesus, we have another cure. It turns out they are all built that way. We have an ample supply of both inside the Beltway. The country is safe.

Last stop is the Supreme Court. It is the final resort for a lot of people. You get the feeling the jig is already up. They are all dressed in black. Ginsberg looks comatose. Thomas hasn’t said a word in years. What medic in his right mind wants to examine Scalia or Sotomayor? Let’s just leave them all alone. The Founding Fathers wrote it all down. All they have to do is opine for hours on end and everyone else will die from waiting. Roe v Wade said abortion was okay. Need I say more.

Now I know you are all on the edge of your seats. Some of you might even be praying but you don’t have to tell us what outcome you are pulling for. The docs say they need a lot of rest. Duh? Congress is only planning on working 140 days this year. Barry’s gang it would seem has been on vacation since they passed Affordable Healthcare. Maybe they can take three years for medical leave. Death may be imminent for any one of the justices.

Let’s let sleeping dogs lie. Let’s just go about our business on a state and local level. We survived, hurricanes, floods and forest fires. I hate to say it but ignoring them is the best possible strategy. I would love to throw the bums out but too many of you are too interested in what forty years in Congress can bring your state or district. I get it but let’s just hope we have cut to the margins and this ugly mass won’t metastasize.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Under the ACA the Obama administration told Congress that it would allow the federal government to continue paying a large share of the cost of health insurance for members of Congress and their aides, averting a problem for many who work on Capitol Hill. However, under the arrangement, lawmakers and many of their aides will have to get coverage through new health insurance marketplaces, or exchanges, being set up in every state. The government stipend calls for $5-11,000 subsidy.

In addition to the Bethesda Naval Hospital, in town hospitals Like GW and Georgetown University have been equipped with the latest and greatest in diagnostic and treatment facilities. Purely coincidence.

After serving as an advisor to Bill Clinton, in 1998 Rahm Emanuel resigned from his position in the Clinton administration and joined the investment banking firm Wasserstein Perella, where he worked until 2002.Although he did not have an MBA degree or prior banking experience, he became a managing director at the firm’s Chicago office in 1999, and according to Congressional disclosures, made $16.2 million in his two-and-a-half-years as a banker.
Emanuel was named to the Board of Directors of Freddie Mac by President Clinton in 2000. He earned at least $320,000 during his time there, including later stock sales.During Emmanuel’s time on the board, Freddie Mac was plagued with scandals involving campaign contributions and accounting irregularities. The Obama Administration rejected a request under the Freedom of Information Act to review Freddie Mac board minutes and correspondence during Emanuel’s time as a director.

Now this is a great example of a cancer not in remission but raging. Don’t worry folks there are stories on both sides of the fence. Remember Scooter Libby? Tom DeLay? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

We had one of those spectacular fall weekends here in Denver. The Broncos won and the temps were in the 70’s. I took a run on Saturday. I have been dogging it since our trip to the Northwest so I needed to do some miles. Six to be exact. That includes a jaunt to Washington Park which is a two and a half mile oval festooned with a picturesque lake and trees that are burnt orange and umber this time of year. More importantly there are a ton of cute girls running. Kathy always asks upon my return “How were they?” My reply without hesitation,”Great”. Hey, an old guy can dream.

I love to think when I run. They call it the Runner’s High and it kicks in after a mile or two. This week gives me a lot to think about. The move is obvious but also there was a special day at hospice on Thursday. Things are slow right now at the residence with only eight of our 18 beds occupied. Guess people are still enjoying the fall.? Not ready to go just yet. It is good because you can spend a little more individual time with your charges.

I stopped by to see Sally. Not her real name because HIPPA won’t allow me to do that. Whatever! This is one sweet lady of 100 years young. She doesn’t look a day over eighty. She is beyond with it having all her faculties and then some. I met her two weeks earlier and looked forward to our chat. She has cancer and understands perfectly her situation. Just playing the hand that has been dealt. But her tranquility was not resignation but a realization she had a good life..

She was born in a little town in Kansas and she and her husband happened to be married the same year my parents were. They travelled to California during the Depression and told of passing poor folk on the highway. Run down jalopies with all their earthly goods tied to the roof in some fashion. They were on the side of the road because they had run out of gas, money and hope in one fell swoop. I didn’t need to read Steinbeck. This woman witnessed the Grapes of Wrath.

Her husband was a sign painter but when the World War II came he could no longer get the paint to do the job. He went to work for the Navy painting dirigibles in cavernous hangars. The blimps roamed the coastline in search of the enemy. Those days you did what you could and what you had to. The war affected everyone unlike our volunteer and drone clad forces of today. It was a good thing because we were all one and dedicated. A lesson to be learned.

The first president she voted for was FDR. She told me how wonderful it was that he put people to work on the WPA et al. There wasn’t a hint of partisan politics. He just happened to be the right man for the job at the time. Tea Parties weren’t part of the spectrum. Nor were environmentalists or radicals. Just wasn’t done.

As I asked her how she pulled this all off for so many years she seemed to intimate that she just took what life gave her and not only accept it but embrace it. She didn’t bitch or bemoan whatever her lot in life was but rather she spoke of her good fortune at having so much. In reality it was probably not a lot by today’s standards but more than enough to live by. Her kids come to visit every day. They are just as classy as she is. A beautiful lady indeed. I hope she hangs around for a few more Thursdays. I guess that’s selfish.

As I rounded the bend coming home to Williams Street I caught sight of another old lady. Our home. It was built in 1895 by a hardware salesman. It complimented a carriage house and barn next door. Victorian by design it is not as sprawling as our various neighbors but it has been a wonderful place to live for the last six or so years. When we first set eyes on her it was love at first sight….at least for me. Nooks and crannies provided perfect hiding places for our growing crop of grandkids. I hope they remember bits and pieces. Six of the seven crossed that threshold for the first time.

I really thought of all the history. The people. The joy and probably a little heartbreak from time to time. During the big war she was made into a two family house. The marks on the old hardwood floors where walls and doors had been are not disfiguring but a real reminder of times past. I still don’t know where they put the kitchen on the second floor. The windows are huge in the parlor. Passersby would comment on what we had down to the interior of the house although they had never been inside it. No secrets here and that was just fine by us.

I will meet with my two wonderful ladies this week. One for the last time today and one for the last time some time soon. There might be a tear or two but then again what a celebration of all things good. I am so much better for knowing both of them. I have learned a lot. It’s time to move on but not forget. I have to see if I can mimic their great qualities. Like Sally I have to embrace life for whatever it throws at me. Like 701 Williams I hope I can continue to strand tall.

As Always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Those over 100
1950…2300
1990…37,000
2010…53,364

The average house in the US is 34 years old. 40% of homes today are over 40. I guess remodeling and renovation are going to be big business in years to come.
It takes anywhere from 6 to 18 months to build a house from scratch. A house or scraper to be torn down can have that accomplished in 2 days at the cost of $10-15,000. Personally I am against scraping. There have been very few houses over the years that I can’t find redeeming qualities inherent.

Yes it is true you will spend more on healthcare in the last 24 months of your life than you did for your entire life prior to.

Hospice cost $225 per day for in facility care and $465 dollars for intensive care. The cost for intensive care in a hospital can range between $15,000 to $25,000 per day depending on your location. Go figure. Literally!

Moving day is just around the corner. Next Tuesday to be exact. I am sitting here or more appropriately hiding here behind stacks of boxes. Honey do ain’t a melon in this house. It’s kind of crazy when you see all you are cracked up to be in corrugated rectangles and squares of all sorts. It’s really bizarre when you put together an Allied Van Lines cardboard puzzle that has scars from a few moves back. Are we crazy? Please don’t answer that.

I packed the office myself. In the back of a drawer I came upon a list of questions that I wrote down somewhere in our wanderings. It happened during one of those seminal moments where I was trying to find the meaning of life or something like that. I can’t guarantee a sip of scotch didn’t affect my thinking but it was fun to look back and see what I had on my mind.

One of the first ones on the list was, “Should I worry about others or just myself?” I still revisit this one a lot without any prodding. I somehow have this weird feeling I can make the world a better place. I see things that are wrong and want to fix them. I want to help people out.It’s not really egotistical or at least I hope not. I think I have empathy for my fellow man. I am lucky to be in a pretty good place and know that not every one can get there. But I just want somehow to make each person feel special because they are.

I am constantly intrigued by people. I love to know what makes them tick. Not nosy but inquisitive. If you have a problem I want to help in any way. Not to interfere or pry but just to be there. I have been through some crap in my life and maybe I can just give you a little tip here and there. But that gets dangerous because I am not the authority on anything. I used to think I was pretty smart but I have had my comeuppances. Bruised but nor broken. Must be my age talking.

I had bunch of questions about religion. What is God really like? Should I jettison the Catholic church? That was before Francis I am sure. Why aren’t there women priests ? I asked if I was a religious person? I think somehow spiritual fits the bill better. Where is heaven? Probably not sure if it is a thing or a concept. Why is God or at least one’s belief in God the source of so much violence?

I guess that last thought has to do with the superiority of one religion over another. We are all out to save the world just in a different way. Why does my way have to be right? Does the current state of affairs have its roots in religion? You know fair and balanced as long as you lean my way. I really would have a hard time telling a devoted Bhuddist or Hindu that he is way out of line. Jews, Atheists, and Muslims all have their own axe to grind. I just wish they wouldn’t try to hold it to my throat.

Next was something that obviously has been emblazoned in my subconscious. Are all politicians bums? Are any of them honest? Is there any way to get a consensus? Should you just accept bad people? If you see something that is wrong should you call it out or look the other way? How do you get people excited? How can you get them to learn?

I didn’t have the answer then nor do I have it now for some of these beauties. It is good to believe in something. Maybe you have to admire this faction or that? At least they are getting off their butts and trying to do something. Unfortunately it is a take no prisoners approach. Zero tolerance but not for drugs or guns. It is for anyone who doesn’t think the way I do. Comforting but not practical.

The last ones involve me directly. Do I dare to be great? Whoa! That must have been years ago. Am I really creative or full of shit? Should I become a speaker? Should I be a teacher? A film maker? Can I jam more things into my day? Do I have the power to change? Boy a lot of unanswered ones. Oh oh! Now I am really letting you in. Got to be careful. Kathy says I should be more mysterious. I would never be a good spy. I talk too much.

I have put these questions down for both me and you. My to do list doesn’t exactly coincide with Kathy’s or for that matter any of yours. We all have hundreds of thoughts and feelings and enigmas that keep us up at night. But that is also what it means to be alive. It is why even the best super computers can’t outdo us. At least not yet. We have thoughts and aspirations. We have heartbreak and indecision. All these things above are part of Ted’s Head. I hope I just jostled your Head a little bit too.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
There are at last count were about 4200 religions in the world. Those can be categorized into 12 majors. Of course every one believes they have the right answer. Maybe they do?

There is an interesting interview by Bill Moyers this week with Sherry Turkle who is the leading professor of psychology at MIT. She discusses the affect of social networking on every aspect of our lives. Very interesting.

The Chairman and major stockholder of Quicken Loans has invested $1 billion of his own money in downtown Detroit. He is joined by a fellow who is razing homes in blighted areas. He has already torn down 300 falling down buildings. These are guys who are reaching out and walking the walk.

There is a 15 year old in Baltimore that has come up with a test for pancreatic cancer on his own. He was chastised in class for reading scientific journals and very few people gave him the time of day. A professor of oncology at Johns Hopkins did and now he is speaking to scientific forums throughout the world. Dare to be great? This kid does.

As a kid we had afternoon activities at the Plandome Road School in Manhasset on Long Island. The Police Boys Club was the place to be and we played basketball or my beloved dodge ball in the gym.You know the drill. Everyone line up on either side of the center line and four or six beach ball like missiles are put into play.

In the game you can either get hit, thereby being eliminated or you could catch the ball and the thrower was ejected. It got out all sorts of pubescent aggression and outrage and of course it was considered good clean fun. Sneak attacks and totally annihilating someone was considered primo and for the most part nothing more than egos were battered.

Now this endeavor had no team per se, so the last boy standing won. Sorry we weren’t into girls yet. Bragging rights and highly offensive heckling were also in vogue and on the walk home you were all buddies again. I think the seeds were being planted for our future pols and the little charade we know as Congress. I hope you caught Harry Reid speaking of his dear friend and colleague Mitch McConnell the other day. They really are the dysfunctional part of our American Family.

But the similarity of childhood and today’s children doesn’t end there. You all know how we could put things off. Term papers. Studying for tests. Who the hell would want to plan in advance? Cram at the end and then say the dog ate your homework. Any excuse will work even though you know you had this assignment six months ago. You wanted to go out and play and not do homework. The called it recess then and they call it recess now.

Last but not least there were the BMOC’s and now the BWOC’s. Best Whatever on Campus. They were cool. The opposite sex loved them. They would swoon and coo when they walked by but only an idiot didn’t realize there was not a lot going on upstairs. They each had their clicks and you had to pledge to get in. Once in you did things in unison following the leader. If you even feigned an original thought you were ostracized. Stay in line. That is not the way we do things around here. Interesting how little changes over time.

When we speak of government it really is the institution itself. The buildings, the bureaucracy and the falderal. Governance is a lot different. It is leadership and making decisions for better or worse. It is not hemming or hawing. It is setting a course and getting there. It is forming consensus. It is about putting the greater good above your own.

This thing called leadership is terribly interesting. It is the process of social interaction whereby one person or persons enlist the aid and support of of others in the accomplishment of a common task. Now that can be any variety of tasks. The Don of a Mafia organization can be considered a leader. His getting people to think the same way might be different than mine. Fuggedaboutit. A doctor can lead a surgical team. A foreman handling a work crew. A leader of a party or faction.

What distinguishes these from failure or success is measured in many ways. Did you get your point across? Did you win skirmishes or the battle? Was it a Phyrric victory where no one was left standing at he end. The true leader in my mind can bring together various factions understanding the nature of the human spirit but knowing full well what it will take in the long run. Schmooze and cajole but keep your eye on the goal line.

Now kids will get pissed off, take their ball and go home shouting empty retorts and expletives. Their legions of followers will sing Hosanna to them for being so courageous but in the long run what got done? There was no game. No game and everyone loses. I didn’t come here to argue. I made my point now let’s move on. That’s tough. You swallow principal and pride but there is always something you can hang on to say “Hey it is not that bad after all”.

We had a thing called Simpson Bowles. It was and still is a great blueprint for getting control of our purse strings. Obama put the group together and they put a report on his desk three years ago almost to the day. Not very inspiring. But sad to say the other sides in Congress didn’t pound the table and say we have got to look at this either. Now everyone is saying it was pretty good after all. Kind of like having your term paper outline already written for you and you are too stupid or egotistical to see the forest through the trees. Think of all the precious time and money we have lost while dithering.

We need leaders, my friends. We need another party called the center. By most accounts there are 50% of us or more who can’t stand either side. We need someone to come forward. People feel leaders are born, taught or just emerge. I don’t care how we get them, just send them as fast as possible.I am not kidding. We need more than bipolar politics. We need to form coalitions on different issues. It can work.

But it also takes us to be leaders. It takes us to put our agendas aside. We have got to enlist each other’s support for a common good. Dodge ball is a kids game. Let’s grow up.

As Always
Ted The Great.

Factoids:
I gained eight pounds on vacation and have lost seven of them since Saturday.I asked Kathy how that happens? Well she said you eat too much, drink too much and don’t exercise. Brilliant my dear. Brilliant.

We are moving…again. We are giving up our 1895 house and moving into a condo. This will either be the beginning of something or the end. Stay tuned.

Peyton Manning is back. Real back.Glad he is on our side.

This blog is being written in my future office in our new abode. Not there yet but opining while waiting for a vendor. I am five stories up which is not exactly like my front porch at 701 Williams. I wonder if my voice will carry down to the street. I think you already know that answer

These factoids are totally nonsensical and whimsical which fits in perfectly with the topic of this week’s epistle.Gotta catch a plane to DC. Just what they need. One more whack job.

Sorry I am late but got waylaid by a beautiful woman and some great wine. I am coming to you from a wonderful bed and breakfast in Healdsburg, CA which is about as far opposite as you can get from Eureka, CA, where we spent last night. This tour has shown all ends and all people. And that is what is all about. Since we last talked we have been in Vancouver,BC, Victoria,BC Seattle WA, and the Pacific coast regions of Oregon and Washington if all that makes any sense.

If you are young it is a trip you should make after the kids stop drooling so they can appreciate it. If you are old it is one you should do before you start drooling and can’t remember. It helps make this jigsaw puzzle of a nation more understandable. You can’t help but marvel at these United States. If we were any other nation we would probably be seven or eight.

It is also the best and worst of us. You see 50,000 acre forests of redwood and you can’t help but be both in awe and recognize how small a part we are. You have to have big ones not to feel that way. Driving through national parks you see parking lots locked and a meadow without visitors because we have a national temper tantrum. Go up the Columbia River Gorge and you see nature at its best. Fall foliage and a broad expanse of water that had its source several days ago and many miles back.

We went to New Zealand last winter and fell in love with the South Island. You can see that and more in the Pacific Northwest. You motor through coastal rain forests, sheer cliffs with waves crashing below and dunes that feel like the Hamptons or the shores of Carolina. This coast is a working one with saw mills and acres of cut wood awaiting the bandsaws that are part of the building process.

You see all manner of domiciles. The structures are perched on hillsides or trailers hidden by groves of trees. I remember once taking a city friend on a ride along the Colorado River Road, just outside of Vail. As we passed a rundown trailer he commented on the poor devil that had to dwell within. I really wonder if he knew it was that inhabitant’s idea of heaven. You get to feel that more and more as you travel on. Live and let live.

There is a certain breed that is half super person and half maniac that bikes this terrain. Incredible numbers take to the road and pedal push up hairpin turns and steep rises. They are laden with packs and packaging that betray this is more than a day trip. Who are they? Where do they come from? Who cares. This is their country club or rental cottage on wheels. Enjoy.

Maybe they are searching for something. A woman in Seattle told us that everybody headed west trying to find something or forget their past. They kept going until they ran out of real estate and settled on the coast. I think that could be true going east as well but in toto you run into some amazing people. At breakfast this morning we sat with two circus performers, a first time woman novelist and her husband who made robots. TTG met his match and did more listening than pontificating.

You contemplate the numerous modes of transportation we have been on and seen. On the rails we had to step aside and let mile long trains of freight pass by. The port of Vancouver handles 3700 containers a day. That’s about two every minute, 24/7. The port cities have a plethora of water craft but my favorites are the ferries. One took us to Bainbridge Island which for you New Yorkers is like Shelter Island on steroids. It is a marvel of seclusion and we sat at a waterside deck eating chowder and savoring a craft beer. I asked the waitress what she thought of the government shutdown as we basked in an autumn afternoon. Huh? I thought so and good for you.

We have seen some weird scenes too. I was taking a run at 7:00 AM in Victoria, BC. I shot across the street against a light. There were two cars on the road and the second in line was a pickup being maneuvered by a rather corpulent woman. As she passed by she started screaming at me and I of course gave her the international sign of friendship in return. I thought to myself what it must be like to wake up to her in the morning. Spits out a couple of nails and lights up a Lucky from a deck on the nightstand. No thanks.

There was a man walking his tiny dog. He was sucking on a cigarette like he has for the last 50 years. If he was two pack a dayer it meant he had done that 600,000 times in his career. Best of all was when the dog pooped. He proceeded to make a barehanded toss of the litter into a nearby bush. He then ran his fingers over the grass several times. All help please wash your hands before returning to the work area. You can’t make this stuff up.

We will wend our way to SanFrancisco today. Great friends await and then to home. Thanks to all the nice people who befriended us. Thanks to waiters and waitresses and hoteliers. Thanks to the ocean and forests for letting us in. Thanks to my wife for putting up with me for two weeks straight. Thanks to all of you for listening. I am indeed a lucky dude.

As Always
Ted The Great
Factoids:
The redwoods are of several varieties the largest being the coastal sequoia. The can grow to 370 feet in height and a girth of 22 feet in diameter.

A fallen redwood decays for several decades providing nutrients to the forest floor. A kind of super recycling plant. How did nature ever figure all of this out?

The Bainbridge Island ferry was the best deal in the world. $3.95 got you a round trip ticket on a trip to paradise. A foggy transit out and brilliant sunshine on the ride back. 45 minutes each way.

Our trip covered over 2,000 miles. Everyone of them memorable.

We come to you this week from of all places Vancouver, British Columbia. We started our most recent trek in Calgary, Alberta. This is one of those “Bucket” trips that we are on a mission to complete. It is part plane, train, ferry and car all rolled into one. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Our final destination will be SanFrancisco and some dear friends who are heavily into sailboat racing. I hope they will still be reveling in Oracle’s stunning comeback. Champagne anyone?

The people of Calgary and so far Vancouver seem somewhat withdrawn. They avoid eye contact and don’t really smile. You can imagine these poor people bobbing and weaving to escape the wide grin of TTG as he roars towards the local Starbucks. Even worse when he comes out loaded with the darkest roast they sell. But upon engaging these wonderful Canucks they open up and are truly delightful.

The Banff and Lake Louise area is full of contradictions. We have lived in the Colorado Rockies for years but the Canadian Rockies are so different. We travelled on a thing called the Ice Fields Parkway which connects to the Columbia Glacier and beyond to Jasper. The sheer rock faces and incredible landslide and avalanche chutes bring to bear all the forces of nature. Their massiveness and beauty proves once again what a poor imitator man is. I think of the grandiose cathedrals of Europe and they don’t hold a candle(no play on words) to these monuments. Yes you do feel God and say a prayer. The wind and stillness of the land provide the organ music. I would love all of you to see and hear it.

The glitz and glitter of the Fairmount Hotel at Lake Louise seemed loud and garish. As you walk the arcades there are stalls like the bazaars of Instanbul. There is a middle eastern woman selling artifacts and fossils to put on your curio shelf at $3,000 a clip. Bulgari watches or diamond necklaces to bring home as a souvenir. A little mink muffler or and alligator bag to warm you up on a chilly mountain day? You actually wonder if some of these dudes and dudettes even go outside. That’s okay I will have my puny $5 ice cream cone and go to my room to get on the internet at $15 per day. I get it but then again I don’t.

The Trans Canada highway is just that, going from the Maritimes to Vancouver. Beautiful road and so simple. No bawdy billboards and the speed limit seems unnecessary. They actually have built intricate landscaped overpasses for wild life to traverse the habitat. There is this incredible feeling of peace but beyond that man and nature figuring out how to make it all work. Government shutdowns and blovating politicians seem so far away. They should come here to get their act together.

Before getting on the train we chatted with a mountie. Dudley Do Right he was and Little Nell could not be far off. He was a delightful fellow who had retired but suited up from time to time to send people westward and pose for the incessant Asian picture taking. He was a zoologist by trade before entering her majesty’s service and to this he returned. He was studying the ways of bears. Black, brown and grizzly to be exact. He simply stated that we should not view ourselves as the dominant species but just an essential part of the order of nature. Instead of sucking up the earth’s resources how about using what we need and leaving some for all. What the hell is this guy thinking?

It took us two days and an overnight stop in Kamloops,BC to cover the 850 miles to the Pacific. It didn’t seem long enough. You get to think, which of course I love, but you also get to know people at a leisurely pace. There was a fellow from Australia who had undergone open heart surgery 10 weeks earlier. His daughter, a surgeon in Perth was right by his side. Two senior Aussie sisters (not nuns) were a stitch and by day two they were my fall girls. You see I became the unofficial emcee of the bus and beyond. I know you are shocked. I would comment on their drinking or dancing on tables to the delight of all. The dining car din grew louder as people dropped their guard.Departing we all vowed to stay in touch but you knew that wouldn’t happened. At least the thought was there.

The true irony was my book of choice for the trip. “This Town”, which I have mentioned before is the chronicle of excess and self aggrandizement in our fair capitol of DC. The fawning and self gratification seems even more absurd after seeing these panoramas and life so simple. These little people on the plains and valleys are actually the big people. They have learned the true meaning of life. They don’t all agree but they respect one another. They don’t judge by the size of your Rolodex and Rolex but what you have in your heart.

The train could probably hold 600-700 people in good style. I really think we ought to book it and send the boys and girls who are our elected representatives off on a trip to nowhere. They can’t get off until they agree. That’d fix ’em.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Sockeye Salmon spawn and are most prolific in the Adams River. The girls find their way back by sense of smell and different amounts of chemicals in different parts of the river. They disperse 4,000 eggs in the rocky bed and wait for the boys. 2000 eggs survive and become adults of a sort that travel downriver after 6 months to a year of training. They then change in the brackish water from freshwater to saltwater fish and travel the oceans from Alaska to Japan and Hawaii for anywhere from 1 to 5 years. Then they sojourn back to the starting place and it all starts over again. Only 2 of the original 4,000 make the round trip. The returning school numbers 2 million in a bad year and 10 million in a good one. After spawning the male and females die and provide food for ospreys, bears and the like. Amazing but true.

When on the bus in Kamloops I asked the driver where he was going next. He said he was driving US military personnel to Anchorage. They had flown into a Canadian AFB in town. After getting them up north they would board a flight to Nome Alaska. He would then take the bus on a weeklong ferry ride back to Vancouver staying in a superior cabin with booze and food. He said the cost of him living in the lap of luxury at the expense of the US Government was $20,0000. You mean we couldn’t have done this a little more direct and cost efficient way? And this my friends is why sequestration makes appearances by the Blue Angels and Marine bands etc. at public events impossible for lack of funding. Aaaaargh!

Sorry to go so long but Eh?