I spent the weekend among grandkids. The three boys stayed over Friday night. Saturday morning after waffles with whipped cream and bacon we needed to kill time before the Museum of Nature and Science opened up. What else but to go to Lego.com to play some games. Do no try this at home. You will look like an idiot.

Aiden is a sensitive young man and said “Padge, you just need practice.” Jack and Anders were not so kind. I am not the sharpest pencil in the drawer but this was ridiculous. Humbled and mortified I trundled them off to the museum. There the boys one upped Padge once again with their knowledge of all things scientific. I need to do something about this.

When in doubt, go to PBS. There are some truly brilliant shows ranging from politics (Frontline), Science(Nova and Nature) and general welcome to the universe of today (Charlie Rose). I tape these things to hopefully sit down and watch at a future date. Too often they go right alongside my book on “50 great Ideas I Haven’t Done Squat About.”

I brought up a Nova segment on Earth and Space. Two hours? I hope I stay awake. You are introduced to the various satellites we have buzzing around the earth in an orbit of anywhere from 500-20,000 miles. Your first sense throughout the show was, “Wow, I didn’t know that?” Duh. I know some of you have it all figured out but I don’t.

You watch the comments of astrophysicists, oceanographers, climatologists and the like. They weave a story all backed up by incredible views of just how interconnected the “Blue Marble” is. Rain. Wind, lightning, ocean currents, fires and temperatures are all interrelated. There is an endless loop of activity where one begets the other and then the process starts all over again.

There is a tremendous feeling of awe towards the creativity of man. Just think when you see these amazingly complex machines first being launched and then operating for years, bringing back data ranging from temperature variables to magnetic shields to crop forecasting. This is the real Star Wars.

Everything makes sense. The ice freezes in Antarctica and releases brine that sinks to the floor of the ocean. That in turn is transferred through undersea currents to various parts of the undersea world where it then provides food for plankton which in turn provides food for the creatures of the sea. The sun makes the sea warm and this creates rain and things grow.

I hope you are still with me. Volcanoes, earthquakes, hurricanes and fire are not seen as disasters but as a part of a constantly changing earth that is really just doing her thing. I know some of you don’t appreciate this view but hey the earth was here a long time before us.

There are 400 lightning strikes on earth every second. Thousands of minor earthquakes and 100’s of volcano eruptions daily. Steam tubes on the floor of the ocean. And all of these serve to take nutrients from one part of the world and deposit them where it is needed. This is not happenstance. There really is a consistent theme and order to this.

I forgot all about photosynthesis from high school and it is truly a marvel. The Amazon rainforests suck in carbon dioxide by night and expel oxygen during the day. That’s 20% of the air we breathe from one spot. I am not hugging trees yet but we are definitely going to start dating.

Point being? I was getting a little bored in these dog days of winter. Our beautiful Colorado blue sky can’t quite mitigate the browns and grays of mother earth. Politics, the Middle East and financial markets depress rather than wind me up. It was just great to spend two hours understanding our planet. Entertaining my brain. I did miss The Biggest Loser, The Bachelor and Mike and Molly. What a tragedy!

The sobering part is realizing how really small Ted’s Head is. I mean I have so much to learn. I really have to realize that there are some things I can affect and some that are just beyond my control. Most of all is being humble. There are scientists out there that aren’t writing algorithms for trading stocks or designing games but seeing how our world works. My money is on the latter.

I want to thank my grandkids for showing me how dumb I am. But I am going to study hard. I was thinking my new moniker will be Dr. Verner Von Ted’s Head. Wait until next time you little punks..

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids;
There are currently about 120 NASA satellites orbiting the earth, mapping it and analyzing the oceans and land masses providing a multiplicity of data to thousands of scientists.

Some of the satellites have cameras with a resolution from thousands of miles away that can see people on a sidewalk and see which have toes hanging over the side.

There is a 43 degree average temperature difference between the north and south poles. The south is a lot colder.

The Sahara Desert was actually a lake of measuring 24,000 square miles some 10,000 years ago. The nutrients from the lake bed are still blown in windstorms to the rain forest in Brazil providing it with much needed nitrates when it rains there.

Millions of years ago an asteroid wiped out the dinosaur population. I am taking up a collection to build a steering device to make sure the next big one hits Washington.

I have been working on increasing the circulation of Ted’s Head. Many of you have sent my site to friends and family and I encourage all of you to do so….after this issue. We actually had well over 200 hits last week.

A buddy of mine sent me some facts and figures from the Sprott Financial Group. These guys have made a lot of money so they must be smart. They have addressed in a very meaningful way something I have spoken on and off about for three years. Healthcare.

It’s getting a little spooky out there. Right now we spend about 22% of our $12 trillion GDP on healthcare. $2.7 trillion last year. That’s bad but it will rise to 25% by 2020 and 30% by 2030. Babyboomers and those over 65 will account for 60% of that total. We will spend approximately $7,000 for every man woman and child in our country on healthcare. An average family of four will spend $19,000 on insurance and out of pocket cost this year.

We spend more than any other industrialized country on the planet. It doesn’t reflect in our statistics. We are by no manner of scorekeeping anywhere near the top in longevity or health birthrates. Our time around here is pegged at 77 years but our healthy time is 71 years young. That’s six years of sickness of some sort.

Let’s not go on about healthy lifestyles. Let’s not rant and rave about drug companies or high priced specialists. Medical mistakes and unneeded procedures are just more of the numbers. Let’s just talk about a crazy but integral concept….there is a finite amount of money we can throw at this. That’s right we cannot and I repeat cannot give everyone every last bit of treatment possible.

Right now we have 75 million people who say they are owed. They have a lottery ticket called their Medicare card. They are walking into the Columbia Presbyterian Ritz or the Cedars of Sinai Four Seasons and saying let it rip. Money is no object. I don’t care what it takes. Pull out all the stops.

Experimental? Go for it. Chemo? Dialysis? Transplants? You can get me another 70 days for $1,000,000. Hey, I am worth it. There are of course complicit professionals from the docs to the hospitals to the drug companies who say welcome. I spoke once of a woman in Hancock Hospital at Dartmouth who was end stage cancer and being seen by FIFTEEN specialists. This included a psychiatrist who was treating her for depression. The woman was 93 years old.

There are two dynamics at work here. One is the open chit mentioned above. The other is the shrinking number of wage earners that will occur over the next few decades. I say again who is going to pay for all this? I have often spoken of the end of life costs for 75 million. Let’s use a low number of $100,000 in the last year of life. Ridiculously small assumption but it still comes out to $7.5 trillion to say adios.

We have a guy at the wheel who will not even consider any change to entitlements. He should probably be charged with DUI. That would be fine but there are legislators of every stripe tearing up and down the streets of Washington with a breathylizer that would come in way over 2.0. The substance in their abuse? Power. Do you know what this would do to my reelection chances?

Okay let’s tax the rich. To be in the top 1% you have to earn at least $380,000 per annum. They pay a federal tax rate of 23.25% on average. That is in the neighborhood of $400 billion of $1.04 trillion collected. Can’t even come close if we increased it by 50%. Screw that, let’s make it the top 10%. To get there you have to make $113,000 per annum. Just try to go after them and you will have a rebellion that will make Cairo riots look like Cape Cod on a summer Sunday.

Look I have thrown out a lot of numbers because numbers don’t lie. I don’t have the direct answer but I will tell you my generation and their families have some soul searching to do. We have to install a meter in this thing called Medicare. We have to have commensurate amounts for age and condition. Sweet Jesus, the man is talking about rationing. Unfortunately with an air of realism I am.

We have to consider outcomes and quality of life. No, Sam or Mary we can’t keep you going forever because the family wants to have you around even in your comatose state. No, I am not Kervorkian but I believe at some time in our lives we have to let nature take its course.

I don’t want to rob the stricken of hope. I don’t want to be Solomon for the Grim Reaper. But in a very real way we cannot rob our children and theirs of prosperity just to salve our egos or make one last try at immortality. No one has ever beaten the rap.

I am going to work my shift today at hospice where the cost of care ranges from $230-450 per day. Just compare that to the cost of an ICU bed. There are no monitors or IV’s. They are waiting for God or whoever. They are leaving a legacy. And a good one. I hope I have the guts to do the same.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
1% of the population uses 27% of the expenditure on healthcare. 5% uses more than half. The bottom 50% uses 3%

We rank among other countries 50th in life expectancy and 48% in infant mortality despite spending more than any other nation.

More than half of those patients who survived a prolonged critical illness are dead within one year. Only 10% of those are able to live at home independently.

In a particular study of 323 dementia patients, 50% went through a major medical intervention in the last 18 months of their life.

CBO has found that ½ of the increase in medical costs is the result of advanced technology.

Quality of life…the ability of the patient to enjoy normal life activities.

The former mayor of New York passed on this week. I watched with a little bit of melancholy as the mourners(doesn’t seem like the right verbiage) bade Ed Koch good bye in a packed church or temple or whatever. As they carried his casket down the aisle the throng applauded for his last standing ovation.The organ played, New York, New York. No weeping here. Just smiles and stories.

Ed was an incredible character. He was the consummate politician and made no excuses. He was acclaimed as a hero and a schmuck in the same breath. He could evade questions with the best of them but there was no pretense. He knew it and the press knew it. And they had a lot of laughs about it. Compared to today he was transparent.

He would campaign outside subway stations. He would always ask, “How am I doin?” with his very best New York accent. He would show up everywhere and tell both friend and foe what was on his mind. His hair, what there was of it, was not styled and his suits were probably off the rack and hung baggy most of the time. He lived somewhere in the Village and just enjoyed his city. Gracie Mansion was his home for ten years but so was the whole isle of Manhattan.

In the spring of 1985 Ed endeared himself to 25,000 grunts and squids who had served in Viet Nam. In his own inimitable way he said, “Enough!.” When we came back in the late 60’s and early 70’s we were not only not welcomed but we were shunned. They were trying to figure out if we were baby killers or powder kegs ready to blow. The mayor knew better.

He gave us a ticker tape parade on a gorgeous May day. I was on my way to work on Wall Street but at the last moment veered off the subway line to wind up at the Brooklyn Bridge. Coming out of the subway to my amazement among the thousands were 25-30 guys with whom I had served in the riverine force. Some were in cammies and some like myself were in business suits. It didn’t matter.

We marched across the bridge as if on a mission. The Mayor was way up front leading the way. He was pushing a Congressional Medal of Honor vet in a wheelchair for the entire route. We were somewhat rag tag but we were proud. I imagine we were quite a sight.

As we neared the NYC side there were girls up in the office buildings holding up big signs in the windows with their phone numbers. They were safe. We were harmless. We turned the corner at Church Street to head south…..and then.

There is no street like Broadway in New York and this was beyond special. Ahead of us were up to 1 million city dwellers who had turned out to welcome us home. They cheered. They yelled encouragement. They threw ticker tape and it was the most incredible feeling in the world. We just couldn’t stop saying thank you. The biggest thank you of all was to Big Ed.

The wounds still hadn’t healed even after 10-15 years. The protesters and whackos of years gone by didn’t realize that we were human beings too. I wish they had shown us as much respect as they did to the other side but life moves on. Most notably I went home that night to turn on the TV. Defying any reason, not one of the three major networks broadcast any coverage of a parade with a turnout of 1 million people. All the news that fits the print. It’s okay. We had our day and our fun. Thanks to the mayor.

I actually worked out in the same gym Ed frequented from time to time. I stress the time frame. I was there most days. He wasn’t. I told him what that parade meant to us and he smiled. But I also told him of another New York story.

I was sectioned out of the Navy at the Brooklyn Naval Shipyard. In my Navy Blues I went to the rental office at Stuyvesantown in the city. This was a large rent controlled apartment complex owned by Met Life. It was built in post WWII and they could make only a fixed return every year. As a result the rents were beyond reasonable. And the wait list was long.

I inquired as to where I was on the waiting list. Kathy and I were getting married and this was an important piece to the puzzle. The boss came over to the counter and questioned where I had been. I replied, “Viet Nam” and told him of my travels. He listened intently and then excused himself. He came back a few moments later with the keys to three two bedroom apartments. He said, “Son, take your pick. You are in luck.”

As I told my story I could almost swear I saw a bit of a tear in Ed’s eye. There was a lot of softness amid all the bluster. He loved every inch of New York and it showed.

I am going back Friday to my 50th high school reunion at Loyola School on Park and 83rd. I used to take the Long Island RR to Penn Station and then worked my way north on three different subways. As a kid of 13 or 14, I knew my way around the city better than most. It was my city.

As I walk down Park Avenue I will think of the many wonderful years I lived there. I will remember being a teen and then a husband. I will visit St. Ignatius Church, the scene of my brother’s marriage and long after his funeral. I will meet my nephew’s new son. Life will be good.

I’ll have a scotch or two while meeting old friends and reliving old times. Most of all I will remember Hizzoner. And maybe raise a glass. We need more people like that. He didn’t get it all right but he was mostly decent and forthright. Works for me.

As always
Ted The Great.

Factoids:
There are five boroughs that make up NYC. Manhattan joins the Bronx,Brooklyn, Staten Island(Richmond) and Queens. The population is 8.2 million.

There have been 108 mayors of New York going back to 1666. There has been the corruption of Boss Tweed and Tammany Hall. There has been a multi billionaire in the person of Mike Bloomberg.

The budget of NYC is $66 billion. That makes it the 44th largest economy in the world.

Let’s Talk God…

Well let’s see. We have Muslim extremists. Pedophilia among Catholic priests(plenty of others too but we seem to be fixated on priests). The Jewish orthodoxy are throwing women off busses for wearing skirts. The Protestants have gay bishops. And atheists are growing in numbers. The latter to the point they were a topic of discussion on the Sunday soap, “The Good Wife.” All in the name of God.

Now some of you might think God is sitting with His head in his hands. He’s up there in heaven, wherever that is, saying “Woe is me”. I think not. Or maybe He is shaking his fist. “You ingrates. Just you wait til judgment day!” Hardly. That’s not really His style.

I actually think He is shaking His head saying, ”Oy Vey.” That’s the Jewish version of God but you Gentiles get it.

Now it is easy to say there is no God. You can curse, swear, cheat, fool around and have absolutely no reason to worry. You can stay in bed on Sunday, go skiing or play golf. After life. Schmafter life. Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die. You hope.

Even better you can have a part time or Rent A God. This is probably the best. You call up and order Him for weddings, funerals, Christmas, Easter or  if you get in a serous jam. You know, “God if you get me out of this, I will never do it again.” But we are not talking about a true livein God. One night stand. Only when you need Him.

Now most of us call on God several times a day. We ask him to damn several things or people in our way. We even go so far as to call on His Son. You know “Jesus f….g Christ”. That f….g’ is a relatively new accolade that was born in the later part of the twentieth century. And you thought you didn’t believe.

Our country was founded on a compact with God or so we thought. “In God We Trust” is written everywhere. It’s on our money. Maybe that is why we hold the Almighty dollar so sacred. It’s etched in stone in many of our public buildings. We came here to escape religious oppression. We wanted to pray openly. At the time it seemed like a good idea.

You see back then the USA was a beautiful but somewhat hostile place. There was the unknown of the wilds and there were dudes called Indians (nee Native Americans) who weren’t always happy to see us. We were of course above board in all our dealings and even gave them trinkets and beads for what would become one day the most expensive real estate on earth. All in the name of God and country.

After a period of time we decided that these people were savages. All they did was hunt and fish and live in tepees. They worshipped the land and their bounty, giving thanks for it. There were spirits in the mountains and the streams. What were they thinking? They had a lousy life and didn’t even realize it. Let’s teach them to smoke and drink. Buy  mortgage backed securities. Now that is what I am talkin’ about. But I digress.

As we got smarter we could find a reason for everything. We could unlock the secrets of the atom and other sciences. We invented. We created machines that can think faster than us. We started tearing apart our bodies. First to heal and then to create. Holy Shiite, if we can create then we don’t need God because….well, then we are god. What a country!

Now we are getting to the good stuff. If we are god we can control the country and the world. Let’s create a new Jerusalem or Vatican. Let’s call it Washington, DC. We have decisions to make. Where will we worship? The Capitol, White House or the Supreme Court? I like that Supreme part. It has a nice ring to it. We won’t go with a person to adore. They are too transient. Let’s just go with gold. Naw, that is too bulky. Let’s just worship the Almighty Dollar. That’s perfect.

Sorry I can’t go along with the game. I am not a holy roller but I think I have figured my place in the world. There is this dude called God and I think he is pretty cool. He is not only a person but a concept. He is not a basher or judge but a symbol of hope. He represents decency to ourselves and others.

He has this place called heaven. It’s better than Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand and Pebble Beach combined. He’s promised me a spot if I at least try to be a contributing member of the world. I don’t have to be perfect but at least put in a good effort. That seems more than reasonable.

It really doesn’t matter if I am a Christian or Jew. Muslim or Buddhist. You leave all that at the door. You just have to believe in one thing and that is love. Of God and your fellow man. Hmm.. I think I get it. I hope there is room for me….and you too. God bless.

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

Pew Research:

49% men are religious

63% women

71% in US believe in God..not necessarily religious.

Worldwide:

33% Christian..declining

20% Muslim..growing

13% Hindu..stable

13% Non adherents..declining

2.5% atheist

Under 1% Jewish

There are 19 major religions in the world. In the US 75% of formal religious groups are Christian. Over a thousand of them feel they are the one true church.

As I was working out yesterday I watched various airings of the inauguration. People who braved freezing temps and a long day were obvious supporters. Those who sat at home throwing things at the TV and kicking the dog were on the other end of the spectrum. For both a dose of reality….for better or worse.

I have spoken before of cognitive therapy. It basically says you are acting in an abnormal way. Forget about whether you were toilet trained properly, this is life. Now let’s deal with it. Let’s substitute rational thinking for the aberrant. Takes a lot less time and gets to the point. I could set up shop in a lot of places.

The incredible demonstration of Lance Armstrong was a good case in point. I heard the words. The fact he doth protested too much for the last ten years notwithstanding I still had this strange feeling he was a long way to dealing with reality. He didn’t consider it cheating. He did it because everyone else does. Ditto Barry Bonds, Marc McGuire et al. 

When we were away and especially in New Zealand you had the overpowering feeling  that the Down Unders really took life as it came. Sure they had hopes and dreams but they were not obsessive. They didn’t dress hiply or drive fancy cars but they really seemed to be having a good time.

I have been constantly amazed at Koreans and Vietnamese who have come to this country to make a new life. You know the ones that have built businesses through hard work and putting money away. Many left degrees and assets at home to forge their and their children’s future. They work their asses off and become successful in their ventures. No whining aloud.

Many of us have been hit by the recession, yours truly not withstanding. These shots have been both corporate and personal. People have lost homes, fortunes, farms and businesses. Let’s just get it straight. Congress, finical institutions, Clinton, appraisers and yes the buying public are all to blame. Unfortunately the consumer was the only group to pay the piper. Sucks, but that is life. 

Some have moved on and moved. Some have cut their losses and tried to find a new way. Some have stayed on the dole for two years. Others have financed that dole. A lot of people don’t seem to get it. Easy for you to say TTG. you just got from being away for a month. The only way that worked was for a cruise line facing reality of empty cabins made me a deal I couldn’t refuse. 

The Congress and yes the President, don’t seem to be able to accept what is really going on. For that reason we are $16 trillion in debt. I find it repulsive that we have have put off decision making for another three months. How can you negotiate for months on end and not be able to come up with a solution? Are ideologues on both sides so drunk with their own self importance and principle to not be able to see the writing on the wall?

Clinton, Frank, and …got the ball rolling by putting everyone in a house. Bush exacerbated things by waging two wars and cutting taxes at the same time. Pelosi and Reid got every pet project funded. McConnell and Cantor played to their base. And all the while the bills kept piling up and accusations and gridlock ensued. 

I read with great interest with an article about how the Vatican is trying to silence an Irish priest because of all the heinous things that have transpired in the church he is advocating woman priests. Yet at the same time the former archbishop of LA was complicit for years in transferring abusive priests. The church in Rome is infallible in one respect. They don’t have any sense of reality.

The rich have got to realize this disconnect of well being has got to be addressed. You cannot and I repeat cannot have execs compensated at 400 times the average salary. That is not so much an injustice(which it really is and you know it) but economic insanity. Sooner or later those hefty profits are going to be drastically affected in our consumer led society. The middle and lower class ain’t going to have any money to spend.

The poor at the same time have to come to grips with the fact Daddy Warbucks is hemmorhaging from every vein in his body. There is no free lunch. No you are not owed. You are not entitled. We will help but not support you in the way you are accustomed. Everyone has to take a hit. Ask yourself, “How did those Koreans and Vietnamese et al make it without the proverbial pot or even knowing the language?” 

We are slowly coming back to life. Our life before was a bit of a fantasy and if you were lucky enough to take part, good for you. If you never made it, no one ever promised you a rose garden. That may seem cold but it is true. 

If there is anything you take away form this I hope you realize reality doesn’t suck. I know it is trite but just look around you. There is a thing called the greater good. Unfortunately we are far from it. Rich,poor. Gay, straight. Black,white. Conservative, liberal. We all have to give up something. Reality is like that….and hopefully addictive.

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

Lance Armstrong is worth $125 million. There is a more than good chance he could lose all of it in settlements. 

Phil Mickelson made $48 million  in 2012. He is thinking of moving because his taxes are too high. After taxes he probably only made $20 million. And he is whining.Tell that to the weekend duffer.

The US Senate has not approved a budget for four years. They get an automatic pay raise every Jan 1. They have refused pay cuts saying it would have no effect on the economy. They have a three day work week and ample adjournments throughout the year. They are not in Social Security. They have their own retirement system with a full pension.  Need I say more.

The US pays approximately $800 billion per year in welfare benefits of all sorts. That is $168 per day to families below the poverty line. That’s $40,000 plus per annum.

One of our last days on this wild and wooly trip was in Queenstown, a beautiful city on Lake Wakatipu in southern New Zealand.There was a mysterious mist as the clouds lay softly in the valley between soaring mountains. They hung there like a down duvet keeping the residents below tucked in their beds. The Kiwis are either lazy or sane. They wait till 7:30 or 8:00 AM to rise and shine.

We had started our week in Wellington. We left the mothership and took the ferry across the Cook Straits. The clear blue water dropped straight down to depths of many hundred meters. We came into the harbor of Picton within just a few yards of the shore. Not like that crazy Italian captain.

We stopped that night in a simple B and B in Nelson after touring a few too many wineries. At breakfast we met an unassuming couple who turned out to be anything but. He was a pediatrician and she was a neonatal cardiac surgeon at the only major children’s hospital in NZ. This was intentional to give the best of care in the most expeditious way and children came from far and wide.

Not only NZ, but Tonga, Fiji and Samoa were under their wing. It’s just the way they do things here. She told of a problem figuring out how they could have a surgery date for a newborn prior to the birth date. That dateline thing you know.

They also told of their teenage child who was severely autistic. How difficult. They spent their days assuaging fears and conquering turmoil in young parents only to go home to face their own.

As we drove down the coast Kathy and I marveled about how dedicated and soft-spoken these people were. No egos. Just serving mankind in their own special way. They drove a not so late model Subaru wagon.

The major highway is two lane. There is a particular quirk of one lane bridges. One side or the other has the right of way. You wait for the all clear. No rush. There is too much to absorb. The speed limit is 100 KM(60mph). Cops will fine you, take your license and impound the car on the spot for heavy infractions. Funny, not many people break the law here….in any way.

The scenery is breathtaking. Much like the Big Sur in spots except more dramatic and lush. You weave in and around several microclimates descending the west coast for several hundred miles. From the sea to the rain forests. From 10-15 foot ferns to the edge of a glacier. We pass a rusted out road grader in a field. Don’t worry big fella.I am sure they are stopping at two lanes.

We became stranded in the outpost of Haast. The road ahead was blocked by three landslides that might take awhile to clear. No worries. We holed up in a motel without clocks and mini bars. They couldn’t depend on the electrical supply.

We met a couple from the Netherlands. He had done work with AT&T and knew of our former homestead in NJ. One of several three degrees of separation we had on our trip. The next day we sprinted while viewing the washouts along the way. Natures fury is fascinating.

These people are green but in a particular way. Some are tree huggers but most just understand nature and live within it. It brought us to just sitting back for a moment and enjoying life. Take what the world gives you and work with it. It wasn’t so much striving but doing the best they could with what they had. Very cool.

The Maori people discovered NZ over a thousand years ago. They now number only 15% of the population. Both the colonists and originals have intermingled. There are no reservations to defend but the comfortable melding of two distinct groups. The Kiwis are one. They maintain the culture but move forward. On the way back from a trip to Milford Sound we watched “Whale Rider”. It put a lot into perspective.

It is with a touch of sadness we leave this part of the world. As we go through security at the airport there are smiles and graciousness from their TSA. You feel you are friends and not just beef on the hoof. There is a better way and it costs nothing.

Kathy has done a fabulous job of organizing us to a tee on very short notice. I managed to drop off the car without killing us after driving on the left for some 1200 kilometers. Let me get this straight. Driving on the left is right. Too complex for this simple mind.

We have met literally hundreds people from big deals to small. The captain of the ship.The captain in the restaurant. The barrista at the coffee shop.A barrister on his way to work. Tour drivers. Waiters and waitresses. Widows and couples. A bellman named Kevin.They have all affected our lives for the better. I wish I could have told that to all of them. I wish I was more talented at relating it to you.

It’s not a grass is greener thing. We have had a great time learning another part of life. We are looking forward to being home. It is where we should be. As they say here “Good on ya”. Have a great day. Thanks for bearing with me and tagging along. I ‘ll probably be back to my feisty self after a few brief encounters with US media of all kinds. Such is life.

As always
Ted The Great

Definitions:
Tall Black….a large coffee.
Goods Inward….service entrance
Tag In Tag Out……swiping your ID card on a reader.
Slow Vehicle Bay…….passing lane
Gated Community….prison( Now think about that one.)

Posted From Hobart,Tasmania

Cliff Notes. The savior of every self respecting underachieving student. You didn’t have to read the book but you had all the important features including a few well placed quotes to prove you had been hard at work. Who knew?

Is it just me or do the Village Idiots in Washington really seem to be playing out some sort of theater? Tragedy or comedy? Name your poison. Like Les Miserables it seems to go on forever. We all have known for the last 18 months the day was coming. Yet they all fiddled while the country was burning. Pick whomever you want to play Nero.

What am I thinking? I am enroute from Melbourne to Hobart, Tasmania. I should just sit back and join 99% of people on this cruise. Sip champagne on this New Year’s Eve. Finally, I am one of the 1% of something. It doesn’t feel that great.

A newfound cigar buddy and I were dwelling on the cosmic. I spoke of how we could make a real dent in this mess with a few simple steps. He was in the Army for twenty years and now works as a contractor to the government. He did not disagree. 

Let’s go to the spending side of the ledger. On a roll I want to start with Medicare. We could lop off billions with one stroke of the pen by repealing the one section of the Prescription Drug Bill that says we can’t bid out the drugs. The VA pays 1/2 of what Medicare does. Sorry former congressman Billy Tauzin and Mr Merk, Lily and the Johnson twins. You lose. We win.

Then let’s take fraud. There is approximately $80 billion of illegal billing by scam artists, docs and hospitals alike. We can’t hire more investigators because Congress does not want to be accused of spending money. This even though it can be proven that money spent on curbing fraud can return 12-20% return on investment. As in ROI all you corporate types. Rocket science at its best.

So let’s outsource. Put out a bounty on the crooks. Let’s say The Fraudbusters  get 20% of whatever we find. Let’s not get greedy. Twenty per cent of $10 billion is $2 billion and our operating costs should be around $100 million. Now we are talking some serious scratch TTG. 

Don’t stop there. Let’s take on my beloved Navy. Forty years ago as First Lieutenant on the Good Ship Lollipop, the supply officer showed up on deck. He said we needed new mooring lines and the ship’s boats refurbished. Okay, what’s up pork chop? It seems we had to spend $1 million by November 1 or we would lose the money for next year.

Now a mill was big dough forty odd years ago. I went back to my stateroom and tried to figure out what the multiplier was as one ship in the Atlantic Fleet, of a bigger US Navy, that was part of the Department of Defense, which in turn was a part of the US Government. 

Sorry kids my poor feeble brain fell short. But what I lacked in horsepower I hope I made up for in common sense.This budgetary nonsense  goes on each and every day of every year.Year in. Year out. 

 Just think of all the land owned by the Government. Incredible amounts of raw dirt and office buildings. If we sold off even a portion we could get a pretty penny and put a lot of land back on local tax rolls. Sorry big guy, what was I thinking? That’s way too easy

Now let’s talk about farm subsidies. We pay farmers not to grow things. We have quotas and taxes to protect sugar growers. Dairymen. Wheat farmers. We have pushed this little boondoggle called ethanol and presto changeo the price of corn has gone through the roof. 

The worst part is that there have been huge consolidations of every sort in the farming industry. So what we are really talking about is corporate welfare at its worst. But wait there is more. In the last twenty years the number of independent farms has fallen drastically but the Department of Agriculture has almost tripled in size. 

I don’t have an MBA. I was a poli sci major at Georgetown. But what I am talking about could clean up our act in a few easy steps. We are talking about saving money where it is being wasted. We are not even eliminating anything. That comes later. We are just talking about a different way of doing business. Not bookkeeping gimmicks. Real live savings. 

All right you conservative hacks don’t think you are escaping. Yes we do need higher taxes. The farce of cap gains on hedge fund managers has got to stop.  Tell your big mouthed champion, Liberal Chuck Schumer to knock off the BS. He bobs and weaves like Ali when asked the question. 

In addition all the argument about higher taxes on the wealthy could be solved by eliminating or putting caps on deductions. But all the higher receipts have to go towards  reducing the debt not creating some new agency.

What is beyond bizarre to me is this negotiating behind closed doors.What in God’s name could they be talking about? I suggest we put every meeting on CSPAN. That’ll fix em.

Look, I should be chilling by the pool but this is much more important to me. If anything I say surprises you then you are either not listening to what is going in the world or you don’t care. Either way that is shameful. Let’s take one thing like the repeal of parts of the prescription bill or the formation of the Fraud Squad and run with it. Let’s be our own pressure group. 

Okay. I have given you the Cliff Notes. You don’t even have to read the book. Just show up for class and make noise. Ask questions. Don’t take stock answers. It will be an easy A.

Happy New Year from your happy wanderer.

As always

Ted The Great.

Factoids:

Sorry.Can’t get things factual. My access to the internet is almost nil. If any of you are having difficulty receiving parts of Ted’s Head, my apologies. Lastly, thank you as always for your many comments. I will get back to you whenever I can.

Posted from Freemantle, Australia

It’s like a dream. As I put pen to paper here in the Indian Ocean I really wonder how I got here. Not just this smooth sailing ship but all the things that have happened to me over the years. You like to think you worked hard. That you deserve it. That’s bull. We are all just members of the lucky sperm club and don’t forget it. We could have wound up in Siberia or Calcutta.

As the nautical miles peel away I think of the presents I received this year and in particular three. The best part is that they were all total surprises and distinct. Probably the gift givers were unaware of their effect. As usual life is good.

The first occurred on a Sunday in Denver. Waiting for the Broncos to do battle, the phone rang. It was my cousin Sean in the town of Boyle in Abbeytown, County Roscommon. It was beyond eerie that I had just gotten his number out that morning, vowing to call before I left on our journey. Great minds think alike. He’s the type of man that brings a smile to your face at the sound of his voice.

He and his beautiful wife Liz have what I guess is the family homestead of sorts. We surely have no title to it but they are kind enough to always have the door open so we can really understand what family is all about. The land is verdant and they have 70 cows that need to be milked and grazed twice a day. All this Sean handles quite ably with only his 6 year old grandson Glynn as a sidekick. 

My gift from him was simple. It was a reminder of goodness and gentility in the world. His quick Irish wit melds effortlessly into mine and the conversation is pure joy. He is gracious in his ways but oh so wise for his young years. Thank you my friend.

The next happened on my last shift at hospice. I knew it would be a miracle if I ever saw these sweet souls again so I wanted to linger and try to say something profound. I have found in working with the dying, unscripted works best. Just share thoughts in an honest and forthright way. It’s good for the soul. Both of ours. 

My friend Terry had fought a long battle. He attacked everything with almost scientific precision. That was the part that frustrated him. He didn’t know if it was going to happen in the next hour or next few days. We sat in front of the Christmas tree in the living room for what was well over an hour and a half. He talked. I listened. It’s the way it should be.

He believed in God but it was a journey. Most importantly he believed he was going join the Man Himself. That was not only comforting but elating. He had fought the good fight and he was ready to go home. It was more than courage. It was a shared moment that I hope I always remember. It was gift number two.

Last monday we arrived in Bali after 22 hours on several airplanes. This is a grind no matter how you look at it. Kathy and I were flying steerage because that’s what latecomers do. It was just fine. The blast of steamy humid air brought back memories of 40 years ago in a scary land a few kilometers north and west. 

We drove through streets clogged with scooters and dust. It could have been Saigon without the guns. We made a hard right and travelled down a lane that had Kathy and I looking at each other. Then out of nowhere we were inside a resort right out of a movie set. The cruise line was putting us up there to make connections. It was nothing short of idyllic.

Open air and large fans reeked of teak. Gardenias were all over the paths and crazy sounding birds screeched from hidden trees. Every one of the staff greeted you with a slight bow and hands raised in a praying motion. This was very cool for TTG and Kath. We had a couple of drinks and a light fare by the water and then off to get a decent night’s sleep.

I didn’t know what day or hour it was when I awoke but I have been through this drill before. You can always find a cup of Java in Java. Get It? I ran into this young man named Sebagio. He know where the coffee was and put me right up in front on the beach. The air was damp from a torrential rain and it smelled sweet.

I quickly became Mr. Ted and we shared a good hour of conversation before anyone else in the place was even stirring. At first we spoke of Bali and Jakarta. And then of his life. He was thirty and single but he was raising his brother’s two boys. His sibling had died of a heart attack five years ago. If you think I was being set up, think again. There is no tipping in Bali.

Our talk finally wound its way to Hinduism. A friend back home had asked me what is was like to be going to a totally Muslim country? Surprise. Although Bali is part of Indonesia it is 92% Hindu. So much for stereotypes. 

The Hindus continually try to make themselves a better person both intellectually and spiritually. There is this crazy thing called balance. They strive but don’t run people over. When they finally get it right it is karma and that’s it. They are a very warm and incredibly gentle people.

No, I am not going over to Hinduism. They neither drink nor smoke cigars. But it does give me pause. Peace, gentility, balance, harmony, happiness. I think my three wise men are trying to give me a message here. I hope I am perceptive enough to get it.

As Always and Merry Christmas

Ted The Great.

Homework:

Get a cup of coffee or glass of something stronger. Take ten minutes and watch the enclosed. Then thank whatever God you praise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Vnt7euRF5Pg&vq=medium

Posted From Taipei Taiwan

Kathy and I are once again demonstrating how nuts we are. I will begin in this post at Denver International Airport and will probably finish it some where over the Pacific on our way to Bali via Taipei.

About four weeks ago we received a brochure from a cruise line for a trip from Bali to Aukland,NZ with port calls in Tasmania/ Australia. It was on our bucket list and the price could not be beat and so here we are. 

I was actually going to place all sorts of witticisms in my epistle but events of the past few days called for a different course of action. Maybe 35,000 feet is the proper viewing port as I try to process the carnage. I have thought in so many ways as a dad, grandparent and resident of this place we call planet earth. Don’t take me for a moralist but rather an observer. And Houston we do have a problem.

I searched websites on human behavior for insight. To be sure it is framed by a multitude of forces such as family, events and to a large degree by social mores and customs. What seeds have we provided to grow as a people and a country?

We are enraptured by violence. We see it on our streets, TV’s, movies and laptops. As I watched events unfold I switched from channel to channel. I hit the wrong one and got Maury Povich. There were 6 participants all yelling and screaming at each other, cursing and all the time the audience was egging them on. Give us our daily bread.

Our gun fetish is beyond the pale. Go to a gun store and really get scared. You can buy all manner of mayhem. Background check? Concealed weapon permit? Not a problem. I have often wondered if my right to live trumps your right to bear arms. 

 Right now we are a nation of hate. It starts in downtown DC. Obama, Boehner, Pelosi, Reid, McConnell, Cantor. Ideologues have thrown away reason and we all suffer for it. We are pissed at the muslims, the immigrants, liberals, conservatives. Not just annoyance but bitter hatred. 

To this wonderful cocktail we add a healthy dose of mental instability. Years ago in the name of economy we shut state hospitals and cut back on local programs. We turned these poor souls out onto the street and today they are our homeless or kept by friends and family who are ill equipped to do so. Stigma prevents any treatment and without intervention,well you know how it ends.

We speak of rights and of A number one is the right to bear arms. We want free speech. We want the ability to do drugs or make the decision on life or death. I guess my real question is “Are we ready to take responsibility for those rights?” Is there any culpability or can you just go out and go nuts? Good Question.

We thrive on ambivalence and grey areas. The cloudier the issue the more it is open to personal interpretation.I am for improving the system just don’t let it rain on me. Everyone interprets things to their own ends. 

But then the crazies shoot up Aurora, Portland and even a sleepy Eden like Newtown. Rural and urban America are suffering the same destruction. Everyone says ,”How could this happen?” Just look around. We have all put the ingredients in this soup that tastes so bitter. We are worried about one person,ME.

I opened the classifieds in the Denver Post prior to last Friday. I was just running a trap. Lo and behold I came upon the firearms section. There listed for all to see were approximately 20 weapons of mass destruction of every description. Rugers and Lugers. AK’s. High capacity magazines. We now have 285 million firearms in the US for 325 million inhabitants. From my cold dead hands? You might get your wish.

Last Friday probably could not have been prevented. We can’t lock down everywhere. But we better change our way of doing business. We have to address mental illness that affects 30 million Americans. We better get real about guns that took the lives of over 10,000 of us last year. We have got to get away from this “anything goes” mentality. 

Despite this dire treatise I am by some strange reason optimistic. After 9/11 we were so together and we squandered it on vengeful wars and short memories. After every tragedy there is a brief  spurt of reformative energy. Then we tally up who we are going to piss off and the price becomes too high. Can’t afford to blow your political capital, you know.

If you like the way we have become then go for it. Let the cards fall where they may. If you are a hunter, have a gun. Leave it at that. If you can’t kill it with one shot, don’t shoot. If you think violence should be the norm you are quickly getting your wish. 

I hope and pray some one comes to their senses. That they have the guts to stand up and do what is right rather than politically expedient. We can start ending the hatred by striking a deal on the madness called the fiscal cliff. We can begin to allocate resources to get people better rather than filling up armories with superfluous weaponry. We can really understand we have to start treating one another as human beings and not just lines in a balance sheet. 

Me.? I am going to keep banging away. I am going to keep looking for a leader. A hope. I will look up not down. I will find a way. I just can’t let this all go on.I hope you can’t either.

As Always

Ted The Great

Factoids

Google “Killer Games”. You will see a variety of games to be downloaded free. Anywhere from 75,000 to 150,000 hits per site

There were actually 14.612 murders in 2011. 66% (approximately 10,000 were attributable to guns. In Great Britain there were 58.

Approximately 30,000 deaths were attributable to suicide by firearms.

I was struck the other day by a crazy thought. How much of our day  is spent on negative energy? You know when you are driving down the road and someone cuts you off. You see an annoying big mouth on TV. Your spouse blisters you with an insensitive remark. Your stocks are dropping like rocks. Sometimes this ain’t fun.

More importantly it sucks the life out of your system. Depending how hard it rankles you, it might last for hours, even days. There is something visceral about negative vibes that far surpass feelings of euphoria. Is that innate or a learned talent? Dunno.

I looked over the newspaper this morning. Page after page of killings,hit and runs, wars all over, car bombings, tunnel collapses. It’s enough to get one depressed.

I was in Florida a few weeks ago. A good friend from the northeast laughed as I went around saying hello to people in the Publix supermarket. What were you thinking TTG? Some dude actually referenced that wonderful moniker for the Sunshine State, “God’s Waiting Room.” Oi Vey. An old lady glared me down in a parking lot for looking like I was going to invade her privileged position in a crosswalk. How do you say “Up yours” to an old lady? Sorry, I will have to try harder.

Think about how your day starts off? Does your spouse spit out a couple of nails and light up a Camel or is there a little more love in his or her heart? On your way to work is there traffic, red lights and some idiot who doesn’t know how to work the parking gate and the line behind is a block long? Then walk through the door to the office and Mr. or Mrs. Sunshine Boss is on a tear and your personna has a bullseye planted square in the middle. Nice.

I do remember years ago when we would come home to New Jersey from a couple of relaxing weeks in the Colorado Mountains. The first person to open my entry hatch Monday morning was the toll collector at the Holland Tunnel at 6:00 AM. Aaaargh! Next was the guy in the bagel shop who never looked up even though the emporium was empty and yelled “Next” What do you mean you don’t want a schmear or go easy on the butter? What are you a f…ing moron? Welcome back, Kotter.

Now some of these are just glancing blows and part of a thing called human nature. I have often wondered at the residual effects. There are some folks that can’t break a smile under any circumstances. There are some that just drive you crazy. Here’s a few you might recognize.

The Whiner. Nothing is ever right. Life sucks. He or she married the wrong person. If only is their mantra. Partly cloudy or sunny?Half empty or full? You know which.

The Wunderkind. Whatever your plan, theirs is better. Let me show you how to do it right. They have been everywhere,know everything. You are just okay. They are the best…and their kids too.

The Grump. Never says anything just always looks cranky. You constantly ask,WHAT? He is both non responsive and non committal.You don’t like kids. You don’t like dogs. Can’t be all bad.

The Gloater. Has never lost. His team is above the rest of the universe. We beat you but also let me take you through every play and nuance. Did you see how I hit that shot? 325 yards and I was only hitting a five wood. Usually hovers around the scorer’s table to ask everyone how they played…oh, you want to know my score?

The Patient. Can be man or woman. Don’t say how are you doing? They will tell you every last gross detail. You want to see my X-rays ? My scar? My abcess? They have been to the Mayo, Cleveland Clinic and Stanford….all in the last two weeks. This all gets exhausting for anyone in earshot.

The Head Patient. This one is really bad, especially after they have had a few drinks.You just have no idea what they have have been through. The life they have had. Look I feel for these people but not at a Broncos game or Christmas party.

So you see the road is fraught with danger. You can start your day off on a great note and then get derailed by any number of cannon balls. That is truly sad. But what if you are the villain? Perish the thought that you are not exactly a wonderful person to be around.

You run hot. You run cold. You go high. You hit low. Truth be told I speak from experience. At times I have been one of those dudes. Sometimes I think it is the curse of artistic or creative people. We get so wound up we expect everyone else to share the love.

But I also continually to fight the fight. I try to be the most optimistic person I can. Maybe it’s because it is just a hell of a lot more fun to be positive. My wife and kids have had to deal with both sides. Hopefully I have learned many lessons over the years. Maybe the best one is to just say thank you for sticking with me.

Most importantly I have learned your mood and demeanor is a learned talent. You and I can react to anything and I mean anything in one of two ways. You can be angry and wallow in self pity. You can be a genuine pain in the butt. Or you can choose to make any interaction you have with a loved one or stranger a positive experience.

It’s not always easy. But corny as it sounds if you take a deep breath and just pause you can realize just how very good life is. You will get it. Whatever is going on, you can survive. Most of the time you won’t remember what was so bad an hour or a week from now.

If you were struck by Sandy or have a loved one in harm’s way overseas you can cop an attitude. If you are homeless or dying you have my thoughts. But for most of us life is very good. Better yet let’s just call it POSITIVELY wonderful. I can drink to that. Hope you can too.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

The human brain actually generates  25,000 to 75,000 thoughts per day. No wonder you are tired.

Cognitive therapy, which is very successful in treating depression, actually teaches you how to react differently to life’s situations. The event doesn’t change but you are taught to handle in much more positive ways. You’ve got the power.

The human brain weighs about three pounds. Einstein’s was actually about 2 1/2 pounds. I guess size doesn’t matter.

On that line of thought, the myth about men thinking about sex once every ten seconds is totally false. It’s once every twenty seconds! Just kidding. Lighten up. Get positive.