Author Archives: tedsheadco

Singing in the Shower

Singing in the Shower.

Theodoro Pavarotti has come to the city. One day last summer, I had come home from the golf course. I was taking a shower and singing a very poor version of some obscure opera. The only resemblance I have to Lucianno  has been my periodic Falstaffian gut.

There is a certain resonance in the shower that really sounds cool. It reverberates off the glass and makes you sound like you know what you are doing. Well, at least to me. This particular afternoon was a gorgeous summer day. Now when you live in the city it is a little different than Cordillera or Arizona. You are really close to your neighbor’s house. And our windows were open.

As usual my next door neighbor, who is a dear friend thought I was nuts. A guy down the street said he didn’t care what people said, he thought I sounded pretty good. It reminded me of an old lady in front of me in church. She said I had a beautiful voice. I said thank you. She said holding her ear, “WHAT?”

I actually took a course in singing at the University of Denver. It was called “Finding Your Inner Voice”. The first day of class had nine all stars and me. They sang with the Colorado Symphony Chorale, various choirs and vocal ensembles. When they got around to me, I had a sinking feeling I was in the wrong place.

Well tough for them. I had paid my money and I was going to do it. I asked to bring a bottle of scotch to class saying I could do a lot better that way. Tempting as it was, the teacher who resembled Carol Burnett in both looks and spirit said we could do that some other time.

I actually pulled it off. Not through talent but my usual ability to BS my way through anything. We had to sing solos in class which was really a kick. Once you got comfortable in your own skin almost anything was possible. Interesting concept.

Emboldened, Kathy and I were at Italian night at the club. They had a fabulous a capella group that could sing anything from rock and roll to jazz. Kathy and I were out dancing and of course I was singing along. Loudly. All of a sudden one of the singers handed me a microphone during their rendition of “The Book of Love”. He said come on up.

I know you will all be shocked that I accepted his offer. My kids ducked. Kathy went to the ladies room and I was finally dragged off the bandstand as I demanded to know where their next gig was. They said they would call me. They haven’t.

This is not the first time I have pulled this stunt. Back east we went to a charitable thing I was running. I decided to get up with the band. The next day a wonderful but really stuffy banker, Eldon Dixon said “Geez Ted, you were really smashed last night”. I said, “Eldon I am really going to scare you. I am on antibiotics and didn’t have a drink all night!”

The fun part about now is I can do things and people don’t know if I am eccentric, crazy or just Ted being Ted. I am just old enough. Maybe all of the above. I don’t kiss up to people nor do I ask them to do so to me.

You would be shocked how many times you can ask something and they will tell you. Catch them off guard. Don’t give them time or think or put up defenses. Don’t worry. Facts and plain old logic will get them every time.

The heart of it is, they can say yes or no. Kathy cringes sometimes when we are dinner guests. I love to throw topics out on the table that are controversial.I call them questions. Kathy calls them hand grenades. I don’t take one side or the other on purpose. I just like to get the ball rolling.

It’s like singing in the shower. You actually sound pretty good…at least to yourself. Have fun. Be crazy. Enjoy life. In a week, chances are no one will remember.

As Always

Pondering the Imponderables

Ted The Great

 

New Year’s Special

New Year’s Special

Dr. Jekyll…Mr. Hyde

 

I am really lost so I decided to write to all of you. I know I said once a week but this is keeping me up at night.  I have a personality disorder. I don’t know who I am. I am hexed, vexed, perplexed. Please help me.

There is this deep divide on who I want to be. Yin and Yang. Republican or Democrat. Liberal or Conservative. Let’s take a few of the burning issues on the horizon this year. Let me tell you both sides.

First and foremost is healthcare. The humanitarian side of me says no one in this great country should be without. We have technology and staff in every major city and burg. If someone is dying or in incredible danger we should reach out our hand, no matter what. Insured or not.

But wait. The sheer numbers make it impossible. We will have a $23 trillion unfunded liability in Medicare alone. Medicine and treatment at its current rate will bankrupt our country. People go out and abuse their bodies in so many ways. Death defying tricks. Overeating. Overdrinking. Overdosing. And then they come to the hospital’s door and say “heal me”. And they can’t or won’t pay. They won’t take positive steps to improve their life. This does not seem right.

Immigration. You sneak in and start raising your family here. You faced destitution and maybe starvation in the old country. You walked across miles of desolation to get here. You work hard. You will do anything. You live in hovels. But it is so much better than where you came from.

But there are people who have been waiting years. They have played by the rules. They are productive under visas. They go through the paces we have set up. They are many times well educated and well financed. They pay their way. They are not a burden on society. They are a plus. But they wait.

My religion tells me to do unto others. Be God fearing. Love one another. But my religion also tells me it is the one true religion. It is the way the truth and the life. It is the only way to heaven. Everyone else is wrong.

Your religion says the Messiah hasn’t come. Or yours says that Muhammed is the true prophet. How about Buddhism? Hinduism? Am I really supposed to tell a good Muslim or Buddhist that he isn’t going to make it? Even though he might be a much better person than me.

Foreign Relations. We are the world’s most powerful country. We are the supercop. We want to proselytize democracy throughout the world. We want to make it a better place for both humanitarian as well as strategic reasons. We spend billions in foreign aid and yet many of those countries despise us or laugh behind our backs.

Maybe we should spend those billions on our homeland? Our roads? Our schools? Our hungry and bereft? Developing technologies. How many countries have furthered their own interests while we are trying to bring peace to the world?

Maybe you have all the answers. Maybe you know how to solve our deficit without raising taxes on anyone and just maintaining even 2008 spending levels. Maybe you can vote in lockstep with the ideological bent of your party without giving a thought to the other side’s position. Here’s to you if you can.

I can’t. I will have to seek a middle ground that may necessitate me compromising  but not necessarily sacrificing my long held principles. I won’t do so in a huff. I won’t glare you down. I will just say that maybe we all have a say. Maybe we are all a little right. Maybe I will just listen.

I guess I will have to learn to live with both the good doctor and Mr. Hyde. Maybe they are both a part of me and deep down a part of all of us. I really can’t go hard left or hard right. It’s just not in me. Can you say with absolute certainty it is in you?

As always

Pondering the Imponderables

Ted  The Great

What are You? Nuts?

What are you? Nuts?
I would love to tell you that no one has ever asked me that question but it would be a downright lie. I take great delight in the outrageous. Maybe if I was younger and had hair it would be purple. I don’t think nipple or nose piercing would be my style.

I do like my creature comforts. Warm and fuzzy ain’t bad. But I really do love being a little outspoken or nutty. The real question is there a little bit of that in all of us? I happen to think there is.

Growing up, conformity was always the norm. Stay inside the lines is the mantra for any child unless he was born to hippies. Sit up straight and fix your tie. What tie? Of course you wore a tie.

Tell your grandmother or aunt how nice she looked even though she didn’t quite fit your idea of heaven and the smell of that old lady powder was suffocating. Especially when they gave you a bear hug. Grandpa or some uncle had hair growing out of his ears. But don’t you dare say a word. Ah yes, I was a perfect child. I always smiled on cue.

I really think I owe my spirit of inner freedom to the Jesuits. I had eight years of them and relish them all dearly. What? You mean I don’t have to agree with you? You were taught to question and internalize a concept rather that repeat it verbatim. It was like I was on crack cocaine. Always have been.

Many times it was a high wire act. You got out there and then said okay smart ass how are you going to get yourself back? That is where I truly developed my expert faculty of the art of bullshitting.

So here I am today and I am really dangerous. To start with, the younger generation loves me because they know they will not get a canned answer. Parents hate me. You told him or her what? It is not only the beauty of youth but for all of us.

There are no right answers. Look at the market today. We have had a myriad of financial experts tell us this or that. Sooner or later they are right but it causes untold angst. I am adding a totally new meaning to the term “Blind Trust”.

I think people are all too willing to be secularized and compartmentalized. They think they are captains of their own ship but really are not. They want to be red and conservative or blue and liberal. I live in a red state that last month was blue. Forget about the fact that the difference is only a few thousand votes.

In other words gang, I am making a New Year’s resolution…. A few days early. I am going to defy description. Imagine that. Maybe I can say some things you would like to. Maybe I can just get people to think.

I now have the blog. You can tell me not to send it to your kids. Not sure I will listen. But always tell me what you think. And if you get tired of it in blog style, you don’t have to look at it. I will never know.

As for being nuts? Come on in. The water is fine.

As always,

Ted The Great

 

Christmas In The City

Christmas in the City.
We do Christmas on odd years. One year the kids visit family far and away and one year they are here. This year is our turn. It was 68 in Denver yesterday and a little of the spirit was missing. But true to form in Colorado it will be snowing outside and I am in front of the fire with a couple of fingers of Middletons.
I am prone at this point to think of Christmas’ past but this is the new beginning of Ted’s Head or whatever. I talked to an old friend tonight. He is in Vail skiing and I hope to be part of the crowd on Friday. Other friends from Hawaii and Providence have checked in. Now there are two ends of the earth.

I love to talk to friends which is why I write. As this progresses, I hope not to pontificate or make spurious calls to action. If I do, forgive me I am in a cross between a horribly sober analysis of where we are and yet an undying optimistic view of the future. I hope neither gets in the way of Ted‘s Head.

I have taken to walking about this wonderful metropolis, two or three times a week. I am talking about serious road time of 7-8 miles at a clip. It is fascinating to wade into neighborhoods and commercial districts of all description.

Of course I say hello and wave to any and all. I have taken great note of Christmas decorations of all description. Some people are off the charts, but rather than gauche it is a testament of who we are. You can change ethnic and economic gears in a matter of one or two blocks. Do your thing.

More importantly it goes beyond the big and fancy to the simple and understated. To each person or family it is their idea of heaven. Whether it is a Denver Square, rambling mansion, townhouse or apartment, it is truly that person’s castle.

We have hundred of “bungalows” in Denver. They are built of brick or stone and range in size from 850-1300 square feet. They consist of two bedrooms and a bath on the first floor and a bed and bath in the basement. Enterprising couples pop the top to get more space and this all occupies a footprint lot of 8,000 square feet.

Doesn’t sound like much but families with 3-4 kids somehow have made it a place to grow up. Many of the neighborhoods are young couples starting out and empty nesters moving back into the city. Singles, gays, straights, lawyers, professors. It’s where we live.

In New York there were occasional glances in the elevator but please don’t talk to me. Never on the street. Avoid eye contact. Here everybody talks. On our Victorian built in1895, there is a wonderful front porch that is a little chilly this time of year. Some of you have been here and know its charm. Whether it is the morning paper and coffee or the requisite cigar and glass of red in the evening, it is a gathering place of sorts.

People stop and chat or at least say hello. Our cement goose is the talk of the town. We may make the focal point of our caroling this year. What is it? Six geese a laying. Well we only have one. No matter it will be a wonderful night on Christmas Eve.

As you all gather in places far and wide, we will be thinking of you. My good friend Steve will be saying his last Christmas mass at St Ignatius as he seeks new challenges in San Francisco next year. My widower friend and Navy buddy, Rick will be spending his first Christmas with his new wife, Donna Jean. My buddy Peter will be alone. We have all had transitions both good and bad.

I will think of nothing but the good in the week ahead. A young woman was hit by a car last week here in Denver. She was 34 weeks pregnant. All that was left was her broken body, dead baby and tire tracks on her stomach. The driver took off. How dare I think that I would ever have a problem in my life.

Kathy and I love you all in very special ways. We thank you for all the goodness you have brought to our lives. We are blessed. All of us.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Ted The Great