You know the routine. Good looking guy meets baby blue eyes. He will tell you anything you want to hear. You are the most important thing in my life. Is it love? Well sort of. Will you respect me in the morning? Well sort of. This is not a lover‘s tryst. It’s a political campaign.

If you are in the Bible Belt, you love Jesus. If you are in New York or San Fran, you are suave and sophisticated. If you are on Wall Street, you love money. If you are in the Midwest, you eat corn dogs. The South, ribs and plenty of them. Don’t forget your drawl. Left. Right. Who cares? What do you want to hear?

Of course, you know me. I have only heard of this woman chasing thing but I can see living proof of the tawdry lineup of unabashed political solicitations every day and night. They ought to bathe everything in a red glow. Hey sailor going my way? Sorry Kath, that was when I was single. Actually the thought of Newt putting moves on someone is kind of disturbing. That’s just me.

Trust is simply defined. I have confidence in you to get the job done. I am going to rely on you. You have character, strength and ability. Fade to black. Who if anyone comes to mind? How has this little institution called government done on any of those counts?

You start with party platforms. Details matter. Talk to the candidate about specifics and you get a W.C. Fields, “Go away kid, you bother me.” Look on our website. We are just talking concept here. I dare anyone to take any part platform of elected presidents or majority parties in the last few years and tell me anyone that has accomplished anything of significance. Trust me.

Let’s take Barak on just some key points. Transparency was the byword and then he goes out and hires Rahm Emanuel. Great. We are going to have policies on energy, the deficit and education. I am going to nail immigration he says. What we have gotten is a collection of incompetent do gooders that were  going to conquer Washington and got run over by the train. Kind of like going from college to the NFL. Different game.

But let’s not forget good old “W”. He started off with a surplus and left the place in shambles. His Republican cronies amped up spending(when they said they were going to cut) to the point where even McCain said they were spending like drunken sailors. I know about those kind of guys. Rummy, Cheney and Rove pulled the strings of a nice guy who was just a puppet. Another guy in over his head.

So let’s look what we have coming up. We have Romney who has filliped flopped extraordinare. He tells people he can feel their pain after earning $20 mill last year. Make all the money you want, just don’t tell middle class America that you are one of them. It doesn’t play in Peoria.

Now  Newt is a wonderful guy. He was thrown out by his own party as Speaker. Went before an ethics committee and coughed up $300,000. He is on his third wife. Canned one in the hospital when she was suffering from cancer. X’ed the next one after fooling around with one of his aides. Now says he is a changed man and found religion. Where do I sign up to back this guy? Or his religion.

And it goes on. The lobbying and hush money. The back door deals when you leave the government. Plenty of perks. Plenty of partying. Plenty of just knowing what strings to pull.

We had dinner last week with a lobbyist and former senatorial staff member for Barry Goldwater. I asked if  there is any way this mess can work? They both said only if you get rid of the money. And the ultra Conservative added that the worst of the bunch was Wall Street. As long as there is chaos and indecision, Wall Street thrives. Their money is everywhere.  His words not mine.

I have always felt trust is something that is earned over time not bestowed by title. Sit back for a moment. Close your eyes. Tell me if you would trust your favorite politician with your husband or wife? How about a guy like Anthony Weiner with your daughter as an intern? How about Charlie Rangel, Mitch McConnell or Nancy Pelosi with your investments?

How about the management of your affairs with any of them. You know we are doing just that. And I don’t trust a one. You want my vote? Earn my trust. You have a long way to go.

As always

Ted the Great

Factoids:

The governor of North Dakota reported on FOX News that the State Department could not rule on the Keystone. All the states had submitted permits with the exception of Nebraska. Nebraska couldn’t get it done with their legislature objecting. It wasn’t going to happen. Did any one hear about that? Either Republicans or Obama pulled a “wink wink”. Maybe both. Trust me.

Congress is immune or exempted from “insider trading” statutes.

The so called STOCK bill to end this is littered with loopholes. For one you can’t act as a congressman but it is okay if you pass that information onto your spouse. Trust me.

Go up and down K Street and you will find untold numbers of former government officials and congressman on the building rosters. This is while they are collecting congressional pensions.

Generals and Admirals are hired immediately upon retirement by contractors they did business with for years. Wish I could say the same about the poor  bastard grunts and sailors that got them there. Trust me.

PS: So you don’t think I am a total grouch. I go to Hopsice on Mondays. I have a special buddy there who is 94 and failing. He was in the US Navy and I always ask for permission to come aboard before I enter the room. We just talk. I didn’t think he would be there yesterday when I came. He was but very weak. I said I thought the two of  us should go on liberty and drink beer and chase women. His weary eyes lit up and we laughed. He said,”We’re not going to tell the wives are we?” I said your secret is safe.Don’t tell anyone. Life is good. Request permission to go ashore?