Quick hits….

To all you denizens of Gotham for the third or fourth time(who’s counting) you have a Weiner to roast. This is bordering on the absurd. They said today he has fallen to fourth in the polls. Why is this pervert even in the polls? And all you New Yorkers thought rational thought stopped at the Hudson River. You are right it does but it is west of it. As Frank said “If you can fake it there, you can fake it anywhere.” Didn’t he?

I am really starting to like Pope Frank. Getting off the plane he had a carryon. As he said, it didn’t contain the nuclear codes but a razor and a prayer book. He got stuck in traffic when his driver took a wrong turn and they were beseiged by the masses. But wait…he was riding in a FIAT! He made do by laughing and kissing babies. Then he told the hierarchy of the church to come down off their high horses and get out among the people. He went on to say they should not consider themselves something special but just like the rest of us. Then he held an impromptu 90 minute press conference on the plane returning to Rome. He answered each and every question with candor and no teleprompter. We gotta hire this guy as a consultant to every mucky muck in the US whether elected or not.

Palestine and Israel are talking in DC or at least they were at press time. If Kerry pulls this off I may have to reconsider my considerable dislike of him. Israel has released some prisoners to be named later. Sounds like the big leagues. Palestine isn’t sure who represents who? I am sure at the end of this little soiree we will have a new policy. Don’t Budge. Don’t Tell.

News Flash: A Rod has been using HGH (Human Growth Hormone). You think so? Can’t be true because well, he denied it. Just like Braun and Armstrong. I was actually hoping Harry Reid, Boehner and the gang would all use performance enhancing drugs and I don’t mean Viagra. Maybe Obamacare would cover it.

I was making homemade ice cream yesterday and today with my granddaughters who are in residence while their parents are working hard on Nantucket. First I had to search everywhere in the store for heavy cream. Then my total at the checkout was $27.83 for various ingredients. Hey, I got three quarts out of it. We made one batch of mint cookies and crème and the second was cinnamon with a variety of things that were hanging around the cupboard.

I can’t make this stuff up. As a postscript to last week UBS agreed this week to pay $885 million for misleading clients on mortgage backed securities. A friend pointed out if they made billions then it was a small price to pay on the plus side of the ledger. I said sooner or later we have got to be talking about some real money. A billion here. A billion there.

Looking out for your fellow man or woman. Last Friday I was walking into the Cherry Creek Athletic Club as an ambulance was arriving. I feared for several of my old fart friends but unfortunately they were all accounted for. It seems a Zumba teacher was getting a little too carried away and passed out. As the gurney with her on it was going out the door I heard a woman at the front desk demanding to know if there would still be a class on Monday? Another asked since the free class was cut short was the club going to give out free guest passes? What a country!

Two takes on a touchy subject. I watched Obama’s off the cuff news conference on the Travon Martin case. I will give my take at a later date but this was really quite a talk. He did not use a teleprompter and I believe he really spoke form the heart. At the same time I watched Bill O’Reilly’s “Talking Points” on the same topic. I am not a fan of either but I think O’Reilly’s passion and hard hits made me sit up and take notice. I heard the pans from all sides for both of them but I encourage all of you to Google both talks. Leave your biases at the door, Look, this race thing is there and we all know it. By being politically correct we dance around issues that need a full venting. At the same time I watched “42” this weekend which was indicative of the hate and venom of the time. It wasn’t just in the south but everywhere. We have made great steps but we really do have a long way to go. Hang in there everyone.

Last night a husband awoke to find his 45 year old wife and mother of three teenaged children had died in her sleep of natural causes. A two year child was run over and killed in a mall parking lot. A young man and white collar father of two is going to jail for five years on a first time drug possession and trafficking charge. A beautiful young woman is having radical surgery for breast cancer. Think you are having a bad day? Think again.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Coca cola would be green if food coloring was not added.

Bat those baby blues…women blink twice as much as men.

You heart beats over 100,000 times a day. More if you are in love. Your heart also creates enough pressure to squirt blood thirty feet.

Try, try again…. 35% of people using personal ads for dating are married.

Hold the QTips. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21 inch long tongue.

People are more allergic to cow’s milk than any other food.

Fingernails grow four times faster than toenails

THE END

2 thoughts on “Quick hits….

  1. “The evening news ain’t much changed
    Pretty much the same since I left home
    Yeah, that war’s still on
    They found that little girl
    She was soaking wet, half scared to death
    On the side of some road
    Them prayers work ya know
    And the blood and the cripes are at it
    And there’s a killer drought down south
    And old folks can’t afford the drugs they can’t live without
    God must be busy”

    Brooks and Dunn

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