Would You Date An Undertaker?….

Just imagine for a moment that you are having a drink in a bar with a beautiful woman or handsome man. In my case of course this is just in the realm of fantasy. Honest Kath.  You are deep in conversation and this person is WOW. Intelligent. Witty. Sophisticated. You are so enthralled you don’t even ask what they do until the second drink.You are an undertaker? Excuse me I have to feed the meter and then it is adios.

I arrived at this train of thought through two books I am reading on bias and imagination. I know my brain goes into strange and mysterious places but please hear me out. This whole bias thing was of course kicked off by the Zimmerman trial. Which way would I have seen it if I was a juror? Not as easy as it sounds.

Of course I don’t have a biased bone in my body. When I see a person of color all I see is the human being. If I see a grossly overweight person I don’t see an overeating slug. How about if you have nose ring? Loaded with tattoos? What if your head is misshapen by a gross scar or acne? I stand accused and convicted. C’mon TTG that is not really bias. Oh really?

We all have what might be called automatic biases which are both innate and sometimes acquired. We tend to categorize people at first blush. We take them and put them in this box or that. You’re Jewish? I’ve got one for that. Muslim? Asian? And then we begin this process of going from one sorting technique after another until we have everyone in neat little piles that we have personally  designed. All without uttering a word.

We use all these floors, closets and drawers because we crave order and predictability. We like our view of the world just the way it is. A comfort zone. A warm fuzzy. Why would I ever want to screw that up?

These forces are personal, familial, cultural, religious, race, gender and societal class all rolled into one. Boy do I feel good! I have it all figured out. Except there is one small problem. Our world and especially today is not static. We are taking on one tradition after another and seeing whether it is really appropriate in the new normal.

This isn’t a gradual evolution but an earthquake of cataclysmic proportions. Sure it is bothersome and I will do everything I can to shape it for what I believe in. But I also can’t stand in the middle of the street and say STOP. Even worse I can’t star in “Back To The Past” and tell you about the good old days.

And now enter imagination. I got to thinking if I shoot down every new and crazy idea then I am both a wet blanket and doomed to obsolescence. Let’s face it. Older people are probably the worst. Some are lazy. You know they want to stand up for their rights but it is really a way of saying don’t bother me my shows are on. I think most are scared. A lot of us got to where we are by being cock sure we were the cat’s meow. Admit that I might be wrong? No way.

Imagination is exciting and fun. You come at something from a totally different angle. You blow up your mindset and then start from scratch. You might arrive in the same spot but the sheer exercise of your brain is exhilarating. People my age say they can’t believe the energy I have. When you are having a good time you can’t help but be excited about life. I hope I am this whacky if I am in a wheelchair.

More importantly is sitting down with someone who has a totally new idea. Don’t throw stones but feed their enthusiasm. As some profound individual once said. “Don’t ask why, but why not?” I had the absolute joy of having lunch with a bunch of young people. They had ideas, dreams and reality all rolled into one. I put away my sifter and prejudgment mechanism and just listened or at least encouraged where I could. I learned so much.

If you think of an insect is it a mosquito or butterfly? When a person is a lawyer or surgeon are they a male or a female in your mind? If a person makes an incredible scientific discovery does the vision of a white or brown person conjure up in your brain? If a black man is walking down the street in a hoody do you say hello or cross to the other side. Think how all these automatic responses cut us off from any new discovery about both people and things.

Look we are all biased for good and for bad. Like all other learned traits they can be changed. And to me that will result in growth both personally and as a country and a world. We will find solutions as opposed to going to our respective corners to wait the next round. Life is too short and if we use our imaginations we can really picture just about anything. Even dating an undertaker.

As Always

Ted The Great


A funeral director does embalming, burial and cremation. The industry employs over 30,000 people. More woman are currently enrolled in mortuary science programs than men. They are fun. My favorite body snatcher, John Horan, TC and I are going to have a glass of red and a cigar at Churchills Thursday afternoon.

Your biases can be set off by words alone. Orchid, tulip, lily vomit, poison, evil, gnat, wasp, roach, steak, liver, corn, brussel sprouts. See what I mean?

How components of the U.S. population are projected to change by 2050:

Racial/ethnic groups









































The times they are a changing.

Zimmerman got away with murder. Forget about Florida law you can’t just tail a guy, be told to stop, continue on and confront that guy, get into a fight and kill him. I don’t care if Martin was white black or pink.



7 thoughts on “Would You Date An Undertaker?….

  1. THG TURNS INTO JUDGE AND JURY – Zimmerman followed him threatened him and when the guy attacked him and Zimmerman shot him he is guilty of murder. I would suggest that not being in the court room and just reading the press doesn’t give you the info to make that claim. Sorry Ted – love you the most but that’s a bit out of line.

    • John: Can’t wait. Get off hospice at 4:30 and will helicopter down during rush hour. I have been on the Round Mound of Rebound’s ass about getting in shape. He has to report ot me on Friday. I said I don’t care if you go to the gym and just read the newspaper you have to go every day. We can grill him tomorrow. You have ot help me staying on his ass T

  2. Ted,

    My acquired approach for what its worth is to view every person I see or meet as possibly God’s favorite person in all of history. That helps me try to overcome my irrational biases. I do not always succeed. I simply try.

    I was not a juror on the case of State of Florida v. George Zimmerman. I do not know the facts well but it strikes me that both men were possessed at their time of decision of too much testosterone.

    William Shakespeare wrote: “Discretion is the better of valor.” Both should have “stood down” and walked on.

    Stay well and keep writing. Best regards, Justin

    Date: Wed, 7 Aug 2013 02:20:27 +0000
    To: abb-nov@msn.com

    • Justin: Thanks as always for your thoughts. I appreciate your take on the trial. I am just haunted by the fact that if this guy had backed off like he was advised to do this never would have happened. There is no doubt in my mind that Martin snapped and started beating the crap out of Zimmerman. I understand the shooting but it doeas not mean I can’t after a lot of thought say that Zimmerman got away with it. It is causality which I know is probably not legally acceptable but I had to speak my peace. Fair winds and following seas brother. Ted

      From: “Ted's Head” To: tkennyandco@yahoo.com Sent: Wednesday, August 7, 2013 6:37 AM Subject: [Ted’s Head] Comment: “Would You Date An Undertaker?….”

      New comment on your post “Would You Date An Undertaker?….” Author : Justin J. McCarthy (IP: , E-mail : abb-nov@msn.com URL : Whois : http://whois.arin.net/rest/ip/ Comment: Ted, My acquired approach for wh

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