Our Christmas Day was pure Ted and Kathy. It seems our three children in Denver and their families bemoaned our lack of attendance at the annual festival of riches known as Xmas. We received Face Times from several of the reprobates with innocent children being well trained as shills in the fine art of guilt. Little did they know we already had something up our sleeve.

We departed our palm strewn enclave at 6:00 AM on Monday the 25th bound for Fort Lauderdale and then onto Denver International Airport. We weren’t telling anyone of our chicanery and properly shocked everyone as we walked in on the celebration.We then promptly departed at 9:20 PM the next day finally arriving home at 4:30 AM on 12/27. Some will say Bravo. Some will say we continue to prove a true lack of sanity in our lives. Both have a point.

Finally recovering from a case of massive jet lag I explored the grander meaning of our behavior. Mind you this was not a particularly crazy move to those of you who know us. Plane trips? Piece of cake. We can move at the drop of a hat ! I have always tried to be different. Not for any other particular reason than it is plain fun to confound naysayers and conformists. Kathy unfortunately or in my case fortunately has caught the disease.

Now this is not always easy. Like all my fellow earthlings there is something to be said about routines. It is actually a very simple and uncomplicated way to live. If you do everything more or less the same every day you don’t have to make decisions. It is automatic. You don’t have to concentrate it just comes naturally like an old pair of loafers.

We get up at the same time. We make a head call and rub the sleep out of our eyes. We make coffee as if still in a coma. We catch the same train or bus or show up at the gym for you guessed it, our usual workout. We read the paper, usually sports or comics first. We check our emails and before you know it the morning is well underway. Throughout the day Point A leads to Point B and eventually we come home to our usual cocktail, turn on the news, eat dinner and then opt for bed after some more TV. It is very predictable and very calming.

The word routine comes from the French word for a rut in the road. A habit is an acquired pattern of behavior that has become almost involuntary. Without all those interruptions of flights of fancy we get so much more done. Throughout our lives we have seen zillions of situations and go back in our memory banks on how to respond with the least amount of difficulty and greatest efficiency.

Ask any athlete or successful performer in the arts or business world. Constantly repeating your routine will result in a consistently high performance. Armed forces thrive on rote and drill as a known quantity when confronted with a hostile confrontation. Some one said life is constantly a choice between boredom and anxiety. Ergo, who wants to sweat?

Why you ask, do I fight it? Good question. I might have ADD but at this point in time, I is what I is. I might be a hopeless romantic always looking for a different ending or at least an alternate way to the finish line. I am somewhat of an egalitarian in that I don’t like people telling me what to do and I do not try to force my way on anyone else. I will prod of course but it is up to you. If you think I am nuts, get in line.

My mind does move rather rapid fire. I have thousands of thoughts a day. Kathy chuckles as we drive in the car and she can see me mouthing words in some sort of contrived conversation. I even have the hand gestures to go with it. At that time she knows I am a danger to us as well as our fellow motorists.

I love to participate in repartees via email. Each response is more off the wall the the previous. Too many friends have fallen prey to my shenanigans when I do parodies or become irreverent about this personality or situation. I try not to hurt anyone but just shake things up. Yes I do go too far at times but I do try to make amends.

My bottom line is that without training wheels I can let things rip in my mind. There are no taboos. I ask questions of myself and our world. I think the outrageous and maybe that becomes my routine. Creativity is like crack for me and I love to find solutions for problems but to a fault for I am really shitty at administration. Yet the world is abundant in things to discover even at my age. Hear a new note or riff in a song. Discover a new shade of green in that landscape you see very day. There is so much right in front of us.

I am not trying to get you to drink the Koolaid if you haven’t already. All I can tell you it is one boatload of fun…for me. Everyone has their style. I would love you to think of mine a bit and I will do the same of yours. People will say,”Don’t rock the boat and don’t fix what ain’t broke.” I get it. But maybe and I do mean maybe, you can shake things up from time to time. And that may just be the best time of your life. Think of it. Creatures of new habits.

Happy New Year

As always
Ted The Great .

Factoids

As the habit is forming, it can be analysed in three parts: the cue, the behavior, and the reward. What provokes us, how we act and what is the final result. Think of alcoholism, drug dependency, shopaholics or even being nice to people.

It takes at least 60 days to break a habit or to put it a differently it takes that long to learn a new one. Of course it depends on the depth of the habit and if there is a coincidental physical dependency a la drugs.

Conformity is action in accordance with some standard or authority. You go with the flow. That is until the action completely repels someone’s innermost feelings and beliefs and the result is rebellion. You have had enough.

Creativity is a phenomenon whereby something new and somehow valuable is formed. The created item may be intangible (such as an idea, a scientific theory, a musical composition, or a joke) or a physical object (such as an invention, a literary work, or a painting). The ground or atmosphere must be fertile and un to allow new concepts to grow.

We are ensconced in our new home in Florida for the Xmas season. If current forecasts hold true it will be 83 on Christmas Day. A little difficult to dream of sugar plums lest they melt all over my bald head. A blazing hearth? Not exactly.

We do have a glorious tree in the main club house. We put wreaths on our front door and our palm trees are festooned with little white lights. Our house tree, albeit fake, is sitting pretty in the window. The local tree lots are under tents and I can only picture it being a little hot and steamy in there. So what are we to do?

A couple of things strike me. Let’s concentrate on singing and giving. We had a “Bring a Gift” dinner at the club last week replete with the Jensen Beach High School Glee Club. Now JB is not what you would call a booming metropolis so the fact that they could garner 30-40 teens for the fete is somewhat remarkable. The fact they were so good was downright amazing.

The guys were outnumbered 3 to 1 but they made up for it with their spunk. They came in wearing white tie and tails of a sort. The young ladies were dressed in long gowns. There were three or four soloists who sang form the heart and were awesome. As I watched the kids I just saw friendship and a song so sweet. Their director did a masterful job and the ensuing bravos and ovations were more than deserved. How does this goodness happen in our crazy world or is the converse the way it should be?

Kathy was treated to a performance of a different sort. She was one of the ringleaders to assemble gift bags for the Hope Rural School in Indiantown about twenty miles and light years away from us. The big red bags of gifts donated by our members were brought to our garage over a week or so. Then some staff and members brought them by truck to their destination on Wednesday.

The Hope School is amazing, accounting for education of both kids and parents in what can best be described as a migrant town of sorts. The parents work in the fields and their kids are left to two nuns who make this thing work, They cover the three R’s but also family nutrition and a little bit of social graces thrown in. They put on a show for Kathy and her crew and each child and parent came up and said thank you with those dark eyes looking straight into hers as they shook hands. When she got home she was on cloud nine as to what she had witnessed. And that’s a good thing.

Our community is probably considered upper crust by many but not by ourselves. We take charity seriously and in addition to this effort we raise money for a bunch of things from United Way to Hospice to Safe Place, a home for battered women. It really blows you away as to the number of people that not only write checks but get involved as volunteer workers and board members. Who cares whether we are the 1% or 10% it is more than a sometime thing and pretty neat to be part of. I am not trying to brag but we just don’t hear enough about this side of the coin very often.

This whole giving thing is downright rewarding. Since our kids are not here you really don’t have much to do on the shopping lists side. Thank God the Divine Miss K has no real interest in jewelry. Of course one of my daughters will give you,”No Bling No Ring” What can I say? But you do think about little things you can do for people. I looked up generosity and it involves the spirit of giving. The synonyms are generous, ,magnanimous, unselfish, unsparing. Very cool. Antonyms: cheap, parsimonious, penurious, stingy, tight, tightfisted. I guess that pretty much sums it up.

Long story short is that it is really contagious. At first people will look at you with a wary stare with arms tightly folded tightly. “Buzz off TTG. My charity is my own private business.” Then they slowly warm to the idea and say, “What the hell?” Soon after they are in the thick of it and loving it. It is that simple.

There you have it. This year’s message: Music and Charity. Pretty simple The results: Priceless. I am now in the mood.

Merry Christmas to all!!!

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

There were wreaths placed on over 1.5 million deceased soldiers graves this year. The wreaths themselves were to a large part assembled and packed by volunteers. Truck drivers, many working on their own time brought them to cemeteries all over the country.

In 2014 Americans gave over $360 billon to charity. Roughly 3/4 of that was given by individuals. Approximately 25% of the population volunteers their time. 20% more women than men. The highest incidence of helping comes from 35-44 years olds. The more education you have the more you are prone to volunteer.

There are choirs, glee clubs and singing groups in every community throughout the US. I once took a course at University of Denver called, “Find Your Voice”. Way out of my league it was still a ball. I even had to sing solo in the middle of the class. I survived.

Singing is good for you. It releases endorphins, battles depression, anxiety and loneliness. The average shower stall has perfect acoustics to produce a reverb effect that will make you sound great. Enjoy.

I have been off for a couple of weeks and at least a few of you noticed. I have been working on a project here in LaLa Land but it is irrelevant to the conversation. I have written a couple of missives but was not terribly  pleased

with the result. With so much going on for topics, I am not sure if I am swimming in a pool of sewage or that I have an array of Godiva chocolates in front of me. Here goes..

It’s easy to pick sexual harassment. As they say everybody’s doing it. Yet I settled in on power as the personification of all this. it is simply the ability to influence or in worst casecoerce people into doing what you want. We need powerful people to get things done.Otherwise we would wander around our desert of life without a Moses in sight.

We have benevolent dictators and ruthless ones. Some take on the mantle of responsibility because it is the right thing to do. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Abe Lincoln and George Washington come to mind. Even a present day Bill Gates or Warren Buffett fit the mold. Then there are the Trumps, the Clintons, Weinsteins, Lauers and even archbishops who take a turn for the worse. Why? Good question.

How do we ascend to power? As kids there was always a team captain or a lead singer. They probably put the group together. Everyone said ,”Sure,Go for it.” It really comes down to someone coming to the fore. I was going to say it takes balls to step out but I don’t think that would be cool in today’s environment. The debate is endless as to whether leadership is an ingrained trait or an acquired taste.It’s just that certain something that gets people to follow

People expert power in different ways.One could earn the respect of their peers and seek consensus. On the other hand you could just bury the opposition unmercifully.Never let’em up for air. Perhaps become the leader from hell and get what you want by bluster and bravado. Lastly you could be a hulking figure either physically or financially that assumes the acquiescence of all. But the real deal is when you get there and how you handle yourself.

Power can be intoxicating. As you climb the ranks people start to hold you in some sort of awe. People are kissing your ass. They are kissing your feet. You start to believe your press releases. You begin to distance yourself from the everyday hoi polloi. You know better. After all if you weren’t so smart how could you have gotten here? Even if your word isn’t gospel nobody is going to stand up to you. That trait I hate so much called arrogance, becomes your persona. You speak for your department and then your company. Before long it is your industry and you are the fide king or queen of the hill.

It is said that power is liberating. No longer having to conform you are now calling the shots. The rules don’t apply you. You are forming your own brand of ethics. The air of invincibility is fueled by the huzzahs of sycophants. As you become more and more withdrawn from the real world your perspective completely changes. You embrace the literati and cognoscenti. You, your spouse, and your children are above it all. Dalliances? Why not? Your subjects are mere pawns to serve you faithfully. Cheating on taxes? C’mon TTG, it is merely creative accounting. Besides you have minions of lawyers and pr people to deflect any corrective action.

Am I overstating my point? I dunno. This last election had the Left and East Coast thinking they had it all figured out. What does Middle America know? The Ins have a clear sense of everything and the public be damned. You see it not only in Washington and state capitals but in everyday life from city councils to HOA’s. We even have it in our own families where a mom or dad is all powerful or all hail the patriarch. Do as I say not as I do.

People have gotten away with sexual harassment and political chicanery for years if not centuries. Bullies and blowhards can prevail until someone speaks up. Therein lies the counterbalance. People are compliant until they feel they have been pushed too far or God forbid they start doing their homework.Ignorance is bliss and also a subtle form of submission. We shrug our shoulders and feign indifference or impassivity. The tyrants dazzle you with bullshit. You and I are at fault. We have all seen things amiss and looked the other way.

If you dig deep and understand your world you can argue effectively. As you dwell upon a concept, ideas and structures appear in your mind and if well thought out will appeal to some but not all. Then an amalgam of credos creates a more sensible approach that works for most. I think that is the way democracy is supposed to work.

We then demand transparency beyond closed doors. A scary concept called accountability keeps most if not everyone honest. This is for senators, corporate suits, pastors and school principals. Society can’t exist without constraints. Left to their own designs at the public trough of whatever sort, people are going to overindulge. That is the folly of man but no one says we have to accept it as a given.

We need leaders but we don’t need egomaniacs. How do we put up with this without even a whimper? Go ahead. Don’t get involved. Don’t read beyond the comics or sports pages. Look the other way. Don’t rock the boat. Tons of people know about the slugs and say nothing. Is this a watershed? Probably not although it should be. Spare time and stock markets have a way of numbing people’s minds and their consciences.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

 In heterosexual relationships, most abuse happens to women by their male partners. Emotional abuse, like physical abuse, is used to control, demean, harm or punish a woman. While the forms of abuse may vary, the end result is the same – a woman is fearful of her partner and changes her behaviour to please him or be safe from harm.

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime

On a trip I had a discussion with the Inspector General for Health and Human Services. I marveled at his statistics. I cringed at his conclusion:” The greatest danger to our civilization is corruption!”

People do not speak up because:They don’t feel their opinion is valued, they fear ridicule or recrimination or because they feel it doesn’t do any good.

On more than one occasion in our soon to be 47 years of marriage my wife has fired back at me,”Don’t give me orders. I am not one of your men” Good Point!

Last week I went to a veterans dinner here at Harbor Ridge. It seems this has been a long standing annual tradition for the Marines in this enclave. This year they opened it up. Not through all inclusiveness per se but they were running out of old leathernecks to attend. It was an fascinating evening.There were actual tanks and Jeeps at the door. Probably from some museum although you never know what is going on here behind closed garage doors. How did they get those things past security? Participants ranged from their thirties to their nineties. There was a slide show of sorts from various members who submitted photos. I did not.

I couldn’t help but think of all the veterans, many of whom had gone to war and the hours, days and years we have all given up in service to our country over all these years. Most notable was a 93 year old who gave a stirring talk. He had been at the Battle of the Bulge and had become a prisoner of war. Couldn’t hold a candle to this buck private. And there he was in a natty shirt and blazer. He like all of us had answered the call whether it was a sense of duty or your friendly draft board that summoned you.

Yesterday I went to Hospice orientation. By some miracle of guile I made it through the background checks and yet I am still worried because they took a full set of fingerprints. I looked around the room at a group, both young and old. Probably from mid 20’s to mid 70’s. All ready to help. I thought they should also be thanked for their service.

In “pondering the imponderables” I wondered why we and so many others volunteer? Mine is simple. I used to tell Father Mike that this might be my only chance to get extra credits to allow me to sneak past St Peter unnoticed.

As a nation we count around 60 million of our fellow travelers who give of their time at no cost. Everything from food banks, meals on wheels, tutors, mentors, blood donors, board members, builders and thrift shop entrepreneurs, to name a few. That is a huge number but still only 25% of the adult population. Are they special and does the other 75% just not care? That is not accusatory but observational and worthy of consideration.

Several studies have been done. It seems first and foremost is that some say volunteering isn’t cool. We see stereotypical pictures of do gooders and in a fascinating way we say we cannot relate to them. They are old. They are dorks. They are not of my ilk. They have nothing better to do with their time. Mine is valuable.

Another aspect is that many are unsure of what they can do. Successful people don’t like to look stupid or pedestrian. If you need a CEO or CFO or someone with a doctorate in nuclear physics I am your man or woman. Otherwise as they say on Shark Tank, “I am out.”

The time factor seems daunting except for one fact. A majority of volunteers today are between the ages of 30-60. In their prime, they have kids and demanding jobs and yet still find a few spare hours on weekends or whatever. Some would be volunteers will argue they can’t stick to a fixed schedule. Almost every organization can tailor to one’s spare time.

Other than my Catholic guilt as one harsh critic told me once, I thought about what is it that makes me want to help? They say much of your proclivity to charity is a result of what your parents taught you. As a kid I remember going over to shovel the elderly Mrs Cook’s driveway after a snow storm. It wasn’t a suggestion from my mom but a very gentle command…and don’t you dare take any money from that poor lady. Not exactly enthusiastic, I did my duty to God ,country and of course my mother.

I guess you have to have an innate empathy for others. When you see someone in trouble you can’t look the other way. Many years ago, dashing down the stairs to the PATH at the old World Trade Center, I happened upon a man siting on the floor with blood all over him. The poor devil had slit his wrists in front of the waning commuter crowd. No one had stopped to notice or if they had, they decided they had more important things to do.

I wrapped a handkerchief around his wounds and asked another guy to find a Port Authority cop. I tried to calm him until help came. Riding home on the train after that I was stunned that no one stopped to help. Was I overly virtuous? Hell no, I was just being a human being. It was an automatic response. Why had so many chosen otherwise? Dunno.What would you have done?

Some people are beyond exemplary. Everyday you have good Samaratins who risk their lives to save another human being. Invariably they brush adulation aside when confronted afterwards. You have Doctors Without Borders who get in harms way with no compensation. You have soldiers who are on their umpteenth tour to a war zone. A donor of a kidney to some unknown person. These are the real heroes.

There are cops and firemen, teachers, nurses, social workers, soldiers, sailors and airmen and the like who serve with compensation but probably not nearly enough. Think of all the people you and I don’t notice who make our world a better place. Think of waiters and waitresses, bussers and landscapers, janitors and delivery people. When you stop and just look around your little burg or fiefdom the number is astounding.

This is not a call to action. That would be haughty on my part. But for me, just cogitating

says upon introspection that maybe I should do more.For all of those  60 million plus and beyond I just want to say thank you for your service. I owe you a lot. We all do

.As always,
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Psychologists can demonstrate volunteering helps you look outside yourself and your problems, allowing you to see the world and other people from a whole different perspective. Might be that endorphin thing or that you are not as bad off as you thought. Works for me.

A study by the Journal For Philanthropy noted that a survey among wealthy people showed more that half said that volunteering rather than just writing a check did more for underprivileged people.

One statistical reason people don’t volunteer is they are not asked. This is both wealthy and poor. We tend not to ask clients, fellow workers or friends. We feel we are intruding. We assume less fortunate people have no desire to better their surroundings. Not true at all.

On a percentage basis Utah,Idaho and Minnesota lead the pack with over 35% participation. The bottom are Florida, Nevada, New York and Louisiana which are at or below 20%. Best city, Salt Lake City. Worst Miami.

Correction: Last week in my “Numbers”blog I stated that 15% percent of the town of Sutherland Springs had been killed. Of course a numbers man pointed out to me that the 26 murdered was 6 percent of the population which would have meant only 40,000 in Denver and 540,000 in New York would have died by extrapolation. Thank you Neil. Did anyone else notice that?

As I thought about those poor people in Texas two numbers stuck in my mind, 26 and 400. There were 26 killed and the population of Sutherland Springs was 400 give or take a few. Unfortunately today we look at this and shrug our shoulders because the slaughter that many people becomes commonplace and even mundane.

But it becomes altogether different when you realize that was approximately 15% of the town’s population. That percentage in Denver would have been 90,000 mowed down. In New York City the toll would have been 1,500,000 defenseless people. What would we have thought then?

We are influenced everywhere by numbers. It is quite fascinating to dwell upon how they interact with our daily lives. Perhaps a zillion times but I can’t tell you if such a number exists. I use the hyperbole because my poor brain can’t even fathom 456 to the umpteenth power. Mathematicians, actuarials, nuclear physicists always scare me. Probably because I feel so inadequate as I muse as to what is going on in their brain at any given point in time. Much more than mine.

We use numbers in sports ad nauseam. You have batting averages, point spreads, over unders and yards to the hole. Swimming race victors, pole vault champions and gymnasts are determined by one one thousandth of a second or point. Can we really cut it that close? Numbers definitely help in point shaving and fantasy whatever. Is it just me as it really gets annoying as you watch a football game. All I want is a score but we have to go through on screen every detail of the game with individual statistics to curry favor for this that play the game within the game.

Wall Street loves or hates numbers. GDP, unemployment rates, the average temperature on Gdansk, Poland all determine whether our personal fortunes go up or down. The unemployment rate is actually the result of a survey. They make phone calls to companies and say “How you doing?” They reply, not too good or not too bad and that determines our financial health as a nation. But then there are hidden numbers which tell you the real situation. How can we parse through all this to get a straight answer? Analysts come up with earnings estimates with is mean between 5 and 30 cents let’s say. Of course if the company beats estimates by 5 cents then they are geniuses and if you miss you are in stock market solitary….until the next set of numbers.

People bet on the numbers and have done so for decades. The Mafiosa in our queen cities throughout the country have lived the high life through their rackets. Of course we in our wisdom saw a chance for getting in on a good thing and created state lotteries and the infamous Powerball. In either case the poor are being promised wealth and fortune if only the can come up with the right number. Damn I missed last week by only three numbers. I think I am getting on a roll.

Numbers are a wonderful source of identifying places and things. Streets, interstates, parking spots and zip codes bring clarity to our lives. Seems our area codes keep changing and any vestige of personal identification is gone. I used to date a girl whose phone number was Eldorado 6 4938. I was on Long Island and that was in the New York City. Plaza 9 5000 was just that, the Plaza Hotel. The Lex subway is now the number four. Main Street is now Rte 24. I guess that is progress.

The Armed Services love numbers from your dog tag to the guided missile frigates to the platoon or division you are assigned to. We kept track of KIA’s in Nam but the really great thing was when you had actual body count. The higher-ups really got off on that. Almost like the Indians taking scalps. I kid you not. We also show convicted movie stars and Wall Street thieves with their mug shot and whatever their prison number is. It feels so good to see them degraded and sniveling.

Which of course brings us to the haves and have nots. The top 1% or those that live below the poverty line which in both cases is an estimate. As we have travelled the world and have seen yachts and condos and mansions in the multi, multi million dollar range Kath and I often wondered who can buy all these things? But if you really think about it, with a world population nearing 7 billion then the there would be 70 million people in that top 1% If you are not in the top 5% then you are really a piker.

As my head is spinning with all these numeral I have to look to numerologists.They go beyond seeing patterns. These people feel our whole lives are preordained by the alignment of this or that set of numerals. They see numbers in everything and the certain of them are completely taboo. In Chatham, New Jersey I had a business and had the phone number 201 635 6666. I thought it was pretty cool until someone told me it stood for the devil. Maybe it was an appropriate one at that.

Whether it is the number 13 or 7 or whatever they are just numbers. Someone said numbers don’t lie and they may be right. I for one do not put all my stock in them and in no way wanted to be considered as just a number. Our beauty as a person and our hearts and souls has got to be more than a formula or equation. Inside it is what makes us, us. You can’t put a number on that. At least not yet

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
• The numerical digits we use today such as 1, 2 and 3 are based on the Hindu-Arabic numeral system developed over 1000 years ago.
• Different names for the number 0 include zero, nought, naught, nil, zilch and zip.

What comes after a million, billion and trillion? A quadrillion, quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion, decillion and undecillion. My favorite is still a gazillion.

• The name of the popular search engine ‘Google’ came from a misspelling of the word ‘googol’, which is a very large number (the number one followed by one hundred zeros to be exact). Which is probably why the company is worth so many hundreds of billions.

We have seven deadly sins, and seven wonders of the world. Not to mention colours of the rainbow, pillars of wisdom, seas, dwarves, days in the week…This might be because when these things came about there were celestial bodies visible in the sky (the Sun, the Moon, Venus, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn).

That’s all folks!

My sister in law died earlier this week after a long illness. In the end she was in the care of hospice. As I discussed this with her kids it came to mind how little we know of this wonderful mission. Yet almost a million and a half people a year avail themselves of this part of medicine that is rarely talked about.

As some of you know I have worked in hospice as a volunteer for over five years in the Denver area. When I mention that to people they cringe and say,”I could never do that.” Maybe yes, maybe no. The fact is I am not an oddity, at least not in this. There are almost 500,000 volunteers who share with me a special calling I guess.To me it is just a part of life.

The derivation of the word hospice is from the Lain for visitor or host. In the early 1100’s it became known as a way station or inn for tired or wounded travelers. The present day institution is the brain child of a British nurse, Dame Cecilia Saunders. The basis is simple. You treat the person not the disease. In order to gain access you have to have a written document from a medical doctor saying you have six months or less to live. You state you will not ask for any extraordinary procedures to prolong life. It is that simple.

We are not too good talking about death. My old buddy John Horan, aka The Body Snatcher, and I have had several lengthy talks about this. John is a funeral director extraordinaire in Denver as well as my cigar smoking and drinking buddy. . The best answer seems twofold. First our medical industry has taught us that they can cure you of anything.

That might be true but no one discusses what you might be like at the end of the treatment. In our era of specialization the surgeon is just supposed to get rid of whatever. Then a cadre of others from physiotherapists to psychotherapists, dietitians, pulmonologists fall in line. We have done a lot to have case mangers et al but the myriad of professionals sometimes seems quit daunting and even dehumanizing.

The second part is that we are not exposed to death as in days of old. People live longer. When I was in grammar and high school parents or siblings died. You went to Gallagher’s funeral home for a wake. You could have been 8 or 18. It is what you did. Not today.

Hospice tries to comfort you in every way possible from physical to psychological to spiritual. Palliative care tries to ease the pain. We work with the care givers to assuage any fears they might have and yes, give them a break. In totally crazy way, people have a better quality of life and in many cases survive longer but in a better fashion. I know that sounds like a sales pitch but when all involved feel some sense of control over the process it really does bring relief.

When I talk with patients I don’t have any specific agenda but am just there to talk…or not. For once in my life it is not in way shape or fashion about me. No one pats you on the back because they have too much else on their minds. You do what is asked but I tell the family, the patient and no one else calls the shots.

I happened upon a woman patient one day. She had a legal pad and I asked what she was doing? She replied, “I am planning my funeral” I said “That’s cool, do you want to talk about it?” She then related in a very upbeat way how she wanted it to come off with a few exceptions. When I asked why the problem, she said her daughter told here she either couldn’t or didn’t want her to do it that way. Really? I said, “Honey you do what you damn well please”. She said,”I like you” At least some one does.

I won’t bore you with any more stories but if I did they would be ones of an incredible connection with another human being. I am always in awe they trust me to that extent. For the most part they know exactly what is going on and are comfortable with it. That is not always true for the family. The most common concern is of what will it be like when the time comes? Every one is different.

I have been there several times at the time of death. All I can tell you is that is genuinely peaceful. I remember when my son Scott was born too many years ago. I wanted to be in the delivery room which was taboo back then.The Ob/Gyn wanted to meet me to make sure I was not going to go to my knees at the big moment.

In a wonderful way he told me there are five people in the room and then there are six. I thought about that during one of my patient visits. There are six in the room and then there are five. It is the ultimate demonstration of the cycle of life. Don’t know why people don’t get it? I don’t know anyone who has beat the rap though of course we will always try.

Two thirds of hospice patients choose to die at home. I get that but residences also offer an inordinate amount of flexibility. You want to bring pictures or furniture? No problem. Your dog or cat? Can be arranged. No visiting hours. we are always open! You want an ice cream sundae at three in the morning? At your service. you can even have a drink or tow.

That does remind me of one last story. A patient wanted ice cream. I said, “With Chocolate Sauce?” Why not! I threw in a couple of chocolate chip cookies. As I served him I said with a wink,”You know all this sugar isn’t good for you.” We both laughed heartily and it was as it should be. I am irreverent to the end. It is life.

As always
Ted The Great.

Factoid:

The cost of in resident hospice care ranges from a little over $225 a day to $450 for extreme care. Just the basic part of a day in the hospital can range anywhere from $1500-5000. Intensive care is a whole other story.

At the beginning most hospices were not for profit. Of course the entrepeneurs of the world saw an opportunity. Today there are many both large and small. Unfortunately many have questionable practices. One of the largest,VITAS just paid $75 million to settle a question of overcharging. They of course did so without admitting guilt.

The average stay in hospice is 17 days. That is really quite sad because the majority of families I have worked with said they waited too long. There is a sense of giving up and guilt that really shouldn’t be there. We had one patient who was with us for over a year.

This past Monday I spent an absolutely delicious day staring out the window at Chateau Kenny here in the Sunshine State. There is an alligator in the pond/lake behind our house but I don’t think he likes cigars or scotch so we will be just two passing acquaintances for now. My Sonos jukebox was playing Gregorian Chant. I got to thinking about our world today and almost called this edition, Heart of Darkness, but I didn’t want to show up Joseph Conrad.

The Wall Street Journal saw no end in sight for the bull market. Trump, Shumer and McCain were still at it. Corker whom I think is one of the more erudite in DC also fell prey to the Donald displaying once again that sanity will not prevail for the time being. The world made its weekly quotas of assassinations and senseless killing and then some, with bombings in Somalia. But I mused about the whole idea of driverless cars and colonies on Mars? Is that progress or just avoidance of some our problems in the real world? Dunno.

I whipped out one of my Leonardi Da Vinci books. If you ever need to regenerate your brain just Google Michael Gelb and some of his insights to the Maestro. Two of his seven principles he ascribes to Leo are Curiositae and Sfumato. The first pushes you to question everything. You have an insatiable wonderment at our world as would a child trying to learn. You question and research. Not for a term paper but for the sheer fun of it.

I thought about the human body and not quite in the same way that Harvey Weinstein might. More like Da Vinci. He would study cadavers and marvel at the intricacies of blood vessels, lungs, the heart, and nervous system. This was without any textbooks. The interrelatedness is almost beyond comprehension. If you go for a run or a walk you engage all sorts of muscles, axions and energy and breathing mechanisms to propel you. Your heart beats a gazillion times in your lifetime 24/7 and you never give it a thought. Elon Musk, you can’t even come close to equalize these efficiencies and symbiotic relationships.

Look at a tree or plant and realize all the systems and subsystems producing photosynthesis and clearing our carbon dioxide. All of this is done without or in spite of the intervention of man. I guess what I am saying is this world of ours is one giant miracle.Food chains and symmetry. A delicate balance. If I ever needed a reason to explain some sort of superior being I wouldn’t have to look far. I find it very difficult to believe this all came together all on its own or by some sort of accident. I am not trying to play the God card but just marvel and hope our arrogance doesn’t blow us up some day.

We look for our own personal meaning in the world and that is a valid endeavor. Yet we are specks in time and no matter who we are it doesn’t take very long to forget us after we are gone. Given that I have to catch myself constantly worrying about the past or trying to figure out the future. Living in the moment is not just a Zen thing. I am writing at this very moment putting my feelings on paper. It will not be a great manuscript but if I can connect with anyone of you, how cool is that. In a rather obtuse way we have communicated over all these vast miles of cyberspace and that is amazing.

The second Da Vinci principle I love is Sfumato. You embrace enigma and paradox. You go down dark alleys knowing full well you will probably never figure it out but just trying to get past the contradictory is fun. It is not an exercise in frustration but seeing if somehow, some way you might find an answer. Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Why do we spend billions on trying to kill one another and yet there is poverty in the world? We spend thousands getting our German cars fixed but don’t spend the money on our own health?

Instead of putting road blocks in our life we should figure out a way around. This whole thing about sexual harassment has a deeper meaning to me. Why do my fellow males have the absurd fixation that anything that reeks of acquiescence to women will be their downfall? If we really think we are smarter how does the exclusion of women in industry and technology in particular make any sense? We have problems that need solutions. Wouldn’t you rather have 100% of the population trying to come up with an answer? It seems to me that separation by sex, nationality, religion is the ultimate blockade to creativity. Sorry I keep going back to my same old pulling on the same oar theory.

My son Scott is searching for his next post in life. He spent thirteen wonderful years with a fine company. He is good at what he does but is seriously considering another path. TTG is preaching that in this point in his life he can experience the Possible. Now that would seem contrary to career paths and utilization of one’s talents. Yet you are really asking what are your talents? What really floats your boat beyond a pay check? Did you get into your present position because it was comfortable or was there really a fire in your belly? This can apply no matter where you are in life’s journey. Us old farts need to go through this drill.

Sorry for all the blabber. It is just so much fun to let it rip and for just a brief moment concentrate on the here and now. Make decisions not on outcomes or judgements by others but by what is really in your gut. Be careful. That is what happens when you meditate on your navel. You might find out what is really in there.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:
Who wants to deal with facts in the midst of this crazy episode.

Keys are supposed to open things and the ones in Florida did not disappoint. We have had company for a few days and it seemed like a perfect excuse for a road trip. One that has been our Florida Bucket List for a while. The Hurricane called Irma gave us pause but they told us they were open for business. Depends on your point of view.

This archipelago is made up of over 800 islands that stretch from the Southeast tip of the Florida mainland for almost 120 miles. Probably only 30 of them are inhabited. They range from Key Largo of Beach Boy fame, to Isla Morada for the Bloodlines aficionados and then lastly the infamous Key West. This was our final destination. They were all ground zero for a Category 5 maelstrom a little over three weeks ago.

US 1 is a marvel of engineering. The two lane road hopscotches the cays and inlets via 42 bridges, one of which is seven miles long. It parallels the old railroad line that served to open the Keys in the early nineteen hundreds thanks to the raw ambition and some would say folly of Henry Flagler. He was rewarded with land from the state for every mile of rail he put into service and he was prolific.

At the southernmost terminus of the US, Key West has been home to pirates chasers, notables such as Ernest Hemingway, several presidents and today is a base for the Coast Guard, Navy and many misfits and forgotten hippies. They just ran out of land and decided to stay. They can be seen around town with gray ponytails, a minimum of clothing and that far away look in their eyes which is surely the result of too many trips to Margueritaville. My type of place.

It seemed to be a cross between Charleston, Savannah and New Orleans. The charming homes, at least the ones that have survived, have stories to tell. There are hawkers on Duval Street trying to sell wares of all sort including T shirts, cigars and even a bit of the flesh. Business in every aspect has picked up since the arrival of cruise ships. It seems when people have a short time ashore and money burning holes in their pockets they will believe just about anything. Almost like my Navy buddies of old. All in good fun.

From the looks of things the storm did little damage to this Eden and that is an important part of the story for the Keys as a whole. In the KW we saw, the streets were swept clean and piles of branches and ruined belongings were kept from the public view on the side streets. Put on a good show.Business as usual for the Golden Goose. Money is no object. Probably a good move.

It wasn’t the same scenario in getting there. Some of you have witnessed coastal destruction firsthand but it was tough watching this on the way down. Literally 20-30 foot mountains of brush, clothing, furniture and appliances were strewn everywhere. Cars boats and lives are upended in every possible way. Trees and shrubs were stripped of their greenery by the wind forces. It was almost like it was autumn in a place that doesn’t shed its flora. The beige of winter was omnipresent as far as you could see. People were trying to dig out and piece together what had been a dream getaway. I don’t know how long it will take? Their far away look wasn’t from peyote but despair

It was a metaphor in so many ways to where we are as a nation today. These people had found their bit of heaven whether it a was a mansion or a double wide. When you see the exposure to water on either side of the road you have to ask,”What were they thinking?” But the siren call of developers who were prodded on by the federal as well as state and local governments was too good to resist. Now what do we do?

As in Houston, Puerto Rico and maybe even the vineyards of Napa, people are looking for and even demanding help. If you can’t sympathize when you see their plight you are heartless. At the same time is rebuilding a smart option? What about next time and more importantly are we just insuring people against failure. Flood insurance is non existent in the private markets. Uncle Sam is the insurer of last resort and he is in the hole right now for about $30 billion large.

As we drove, we spoke of the options and approaches. Succinctly if you are Democrat you say we have to do everything we can to get these people back up on their feet. It is our responsibility and duty no matter how absurd the circumstances seem. If you are a Republican you say, no way. Everyone has to fend for themselves. If you made a mistake we feel sorry for you but it is your responsibility to fix it. The GOP are heartless sons of a bitches.Not really but which way do we play it?

Think about bankruptcy laws, student loans in arrears, defaults on mortgages, welfare, disability, poverty, unfunded pensions and auto repos. Is there a line of thinking here? Should we have free college tuition, free medical, and for some a guaranteed minimum income? I saw all that damage and there were FEMA tents and state crews and private contractors clearing roads. There was a lot of work to be done and a ginormous amount of money to be spent. We have to ask where will it all come from for this and so many others? And don’t say the rich.

The rub is I can’t be heartless and turn my back but the businessman in me says is this just throwing good money after bad? Those in need throughout the country are popping up everywhere. I just wonder if anyone is looking long range? We run huge deficits and rob Peter to pay Paul. No one is stopping to think. Don’t you worry TTG, we will find a way. Just tell me which way you think we should play this? Horn of plenty or Simon Legree? Not quite as easy as it sounds. Maybe there is a Key to all this? I hope so.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Key west is actually closer to Havana (90miles) than to Miami.For a long time, it was the largest and busiest town in the whole of Florida, because it was close to the Bahamas and Cuba and provided a trade route up to New Orleans.

In 1935 the Florida Keys were hit by one of the worst hurricanes ever to strike the USA. Winds with speeds of 200 miles per hour (320 km per hour) battered the islands and a storm surge of over 17.5 feet (5.3 m) flooded them. 500 people died in the hurricane and the Overseas Railway was severely damaged. Irma’s peak sustained winds were around 110MPH Those that hit Naples topped out at 142MPH

Pan American World Airways, commonly known as Pan Am, was founded in Key West, with its first flight on October 18, 1927 to deliver mail between Cuba and the United States under a contract with the with the United States Postal Service.

Charles “Sonny” McCoy, the mayor of Key West, water-skied to Cuba, making the trip in 6 hours, 10 minutes on a slalom ski. He must have been smoking something.

My normal stream of conscious has left me today. I find myself darting here and there just trying to make sense of our world. I could dwell on Las Vegas but the media has parsed every piece of pathos and investigation to the nth degree. As usual it is a futile attempt to make it go away by trying to come up with some sort of an answer. The bottom line is there are people out there who are sick, evil or both.

The problem and indeed it is one, is that we have let this go too far. There are over 310 million guns in the US today. This guy had fifty of them and thousands of rounds of ammunition. We could ban firearms tomorrow and it might make a difference fifty years from now. Nancy Pilosi at a town hall last night wants background checks. The LV gunman would have passed them with flying colors. She said the Republicans kowtow to the NRA and they do. But not too long ago the Dems had both houses and the White House. What changed? Nothing. All are complicit.

In a bizarre question a reporter asked the sheriff of McCarron County, “How could you let this happen?” It floored me just think about that. I guess we are to prepare for every possible eventuality whether dealing with violence, disease or personal safety. It was similar to what I heard in Puerto Rico and Texas and Florida when dealing with forces of nature. Why can’t you do something? Why weren’t you prepared?Now do we cede responsibility for every portion of our life to government? Some would and some wouldn’t. Both without thinking it through thoroughly.

We have made enormous gains as a society and we have also made horrific mistakes. In watching Ken Burns’ documentary on Viet Nam, the follies and hubris of people to whom we have entrusted our government seems to blare out stupidity or outright malfeasance. There was a haunting resemblance of Robert McNamara in Nam to Donald Rumsfeld in Iraq. In a despicable way they attributed their failures to “miscalculations.” Thousands of lives and trillions of dollars. That’s okay, we will learn from our mistakes. Really? And we keep relying on the bureaucracy to solve all our ills.

We have adopted this idea of political and business genius. People are reelected at a frightening rate because they know how to govern. Maybe I am on aa different wave length. At the same time in corporate America we are giving small fortunes to the executive suites even while some don’t perform in any positive way. The CEO of Equifax is leaving town with a bon voyage basket of over $20 million dollars after an egregious screwup on his watch. What does that really say about us?

I think the answer is twofold. First we accept too much as fact. We slurp the pablum fed our way without so much as a whimper. It is not just news, fake or not, but State of the Union speeches and annual reports. Is this because people don’t care, are too busy or have just thrown up their arms in frustration? Maybe a combo but it still projects a dire future. Government aid and soaring stock markets are the salves to sooth all our consciences.

The second piece is an overall feeling of comfort. We have had it good for a long time. Or at least for most of us. We check our IRA’s or pay stubs and say all is well with the world. We make sure our kids are in the best schools and then all will live happily ever after as in all fairy tales. What are we doing for the weekend? I hope the weather is good for soccer games and golf. Nothing like an Indian summer! Oh yeah, Vegas. I kind of forgot about that. Well, it was an aberration and besides I will make sure me and my loved ones are never put in not that position.

On the other side of the coin a friend of mine was in Texas for a month. He is a house inspector in Denver and was called to help out with the damage from Irma. Normally a quiet soft spoken guy he was like a babbling fool when I talked to him upon his return. He saw abject poverty. People not knowing where their next nickel is coming form. A majority on government dole of some sort. In a strange way feeling comfy with whatever they have without giving thought to where it was coming from.

I am a pretty upbeat guy but I feel dragged down on a lot of sides these days. I think of Catalonians, the chaos and corruption in Africa and South America as well as the unending strife of the Middle East. That is a lot of upheaval. We are kneeling to protest but there is no definition of what we want or how to get there. We wring our hands about 59 people gunned down but give little thought to the fact there were 100 gun deaths elsewhere that very same day throughout these United Staes. Another 200 wounded. That is 365, 24/7. We just accept all these things as part of society.

What scares me most is our lack of spirituality. True introspection not necessarily church going. Thinking about something more than myself and my possessions. Trying not to spend my days mindlessly going from one evolution to the other. Why am I here and what good if any can I do in this world? How in some small way can I make someone else’s life better? It could be just a deliberate hello or thank you. This isn’t Onward Christian Soldiers but a call to come out of our little orbits and taking responsibility for this planet. Crazy? Maybe. On the other hand I guess we could just sit back and let the government take care of everything. How has that worked out for you so far?

As Always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Ironically, banning guns, semi automatic or otherwise would have little to do with that 100 person per day death rate. 66% of the fatalities are self inflicted. People killing themselves. 20% are gang related. I am sure they are not doing background checks. And 5% are the results of domestic disputes.

Mass shootings: There were 372 mass shootings in the US in 2015, killing 475 people and wounding 1,870, according to the Mass Shooting Tracker, which catalogues such incidents. A mass shooting is defined as a single shooting incident which kills or injures four or more people, including the assailant.

Let’s assume we spend a trillion dollars annually on fighting terrorism when you total everything up. Terrorism kills a relatively small number of people. What do we spend on mental health?

When you are in the real estate business there is one sure fire attribute of any home whether you are buying or selling. It is curb appeal. Almost 2/3 of buyers will make up their mind about purchasing a house before they even get out of the car or view internet pictures as the case may be. Call it impulse or appealing to one’s innermost desires and fears, it is still a matter of human emotion and for the most part it runs on automatic

The metaphor is particularly apt as we look at our world today and its inhabitants as a house to be viewed. Does it turn us on or off? For me the curb appeal of Mumbai or Calcutta if only viewed online let’s me easily move on to somewhere else. Digging down I can’t see relating to their inhabitants also. As we have travelled the world I look back in reverie on some places and not exactly with a warm fuzzy on others.

I started thinking about this. How many times a day do I decide to take a deeper look at a place or person or do I just move on down life’s highway? Maybe even more how often am I repulsed? It can be the result of some sort of offense to my five senses.

You are not particularly attractive or may have some serious issues such a deep scar or defect that causes one to look away. If you haven’t bathed lately, adios. How about a whiny voice? And so on. For the most part I have given little thought to my biases. They just happen. I play a movie in my mind drawing on my vast stores and experience with the human race and proceed to blow them off. Sometimes gently and others without regard to feelings. Mea culpa.

Now that is my prerogative but also  extremely self centered. Did I ever really think how I hit people? I am bald as a billiard ball and maybe some my think me a punk terrorist. I hope I don’t smell bad but my voice can at times be rather strong and strident. I easily get wound up and perhaps others don’t quite share my enthusiasm….especially at 5:00 AM. Me? Not perfect? How could you think that without even spending the time to get to know me?

About 600 of you take the time to read my ravings on occasion. I thank you for that and it proves even the most vile can be appreciated even if it is out of sense of charity. Maybe I just amuse you or maybe you take something away to think about? Regardless you looked beyond the proverbial cover. Here is where it gets fascinating

I have been reading a book,”Conversational Intelligence”. It appears as a self improvement book for corporate execs but can be easily applied to all. That automatic response we shoot out when meeting someone or reacting in a forum is related to our fight or flight instinct. Is this person a danger either physically or more importantly psychologically? Then I want to know if they are a friend or foe. Then I make the decision to either engage or withdraw. All of this happens in milliseconds.

If I recoil my bod releases a hormone called cortisol, which is both harmful and beneficial to our overall health. It helps to heal wounds but many times creates others as it lowers our immune system and raises our blood pressure and heart rate. Kind of why, Stress Kills. If I smile and warm up to you, I release oxytocin which is known as the “cuddly” hormone. There is an overall sense of calmness and we open up more and more. Open is the operative word We feel safe, ergo we want to share more of ourself. On the corporate as well as the personal side it is tantamount to growth and profitability.

Now some of you are saying you are more than happy with who and what you are and don’t need any new encounters or personalities screwing up your lives. Good for you. For others it is not so much “finding ourselves” but seeing all the world has to offer. It is by definition diverse. There are a gazillion concepts out there. Some good, some bad, but I won’t know that until I explore. I guess the bigger question is, am I just being complacent or do I really fear the unknown so I will stay here safe and sound in my little universe?

I am not advocating for one side or the other. Some of you consider me bona fide crazy and you may have a point. I am also not going to tell you with a straight face that I don’t recoil from time to time. Just wave a picture of Mitch Mc Connell, Nancy Pelosi or the Donald in front of me and my fangs appear immediately. Used car salesmen and jaded celebrities also get their dose of my venom. But how many times a day do I blow off what could really be an interesting concept by shooting or at least not getting past the messenger?

In trying to understand how their persona affects their company’s performance, many suits have realized that rather than leading their enterprises they are often dragging them down by their imperious persona. With startling results they have found incredibly productive ideas right from within their ranks. When you give people a say and are willing to listen to it you empower them more. They are no longer a threat to you and you to them but they see a collaboration that is magical.

I hope you can see where I am going with this. In our world today whether it be in the nation, the village or our families, look around at what you have not been seeing or hearing. Think about how you affect people around you. It is my old pulling on the same oar concept. With all our collective curb appeal we could really go places.

As always
Ted The Great

Factoids:

Cooperation is lending a hand. Collaboration goes further not only helping but buying off and participating in a concept’s  success or failure. Indifference is just that. You are ambivalent and have no special preference. Sabotage is trying to actively destroy someone else’s idea or project.

Multitasking is actually impossible and you should probably stop trying to do it. Multitasking leads to as much as a 40% drop in productivity, increased stress, and a 10% drop in IQ (Bergman,2016)

20% of the average workday is spent on “crucial” and “important” things, while 80% of the average workday is spent on things that have “little value” or “no value.

By taking 1 hour per day for independent study, 7 hours per week, 365 hours in a year, one can learn at the rate of a full-time student. In 3-5 years, the average person can become an expert in the topic of their choice, by spending only one hour per day.

It takes approximately 30 days to establish a new physical or emotional habit.