Since the last time we chatted I have been wondering about so many things. We seem to have survived some catastrophes while mixing the witch’s brew for some others. I just can’t let things go. It seems they become all the more urgent as our instantaneous worlds keeps twittering me.

I wonder how this whole political thing has come down to good versus evil? I am totally, 100%, A number one right. No if ands or buts. Ergo you are wrong. Not one thing in your thesis holds water. Yes, you my friend are the devil incarnate and it is up to me to put you out of your misery or move you to a new part of the world. By my calculation that is hell and you belong there. I wonder why I was so lucky to be imbued with this gift?

I wonder why the Army prevented the head of all chaplains from disseminating a letter to the Catholic troops regarding payment for contraceptives? Isn’t that freedom that they are fighting for in hell holes like Iraq and Afghanistan? To further the perplexing nature, the hue and cry from the “faithful” was from Catholics of whom 60% said they have used contraceptives during their adult lives. Beats me.

I can’t help but wonder at Susan G Komen. I am not sure what breast cancer has to do with Planned Parenthood?  I understand a woman’s right to choose. I  just don’t agree with abortion. But the two don’t seem to match up. Talk about a firestorm. But then 68% of Americans think abortion is wrong. Didn’t sound that way. On this point there were 350,000 abortions last year provided through PP. There were 850 adoptions. Do you think there is as much joy in the organization when a girl decides to keep her baby? I wonder?

I was wondering the other day. I hopped in the car and drove south to a little town by the name of Salida. I drove through the high plateau that goes down the spinal cord of our state. I estimated you could see over 50 miles on a magnificent Colorado Blue Sky Day. I talked with simple folk in gas stations, motels and a simple ski area called Monarch. I really wondered if their day’s tone was set by Greece, Syria, the Fed and  stock price of Apple?

Speaking of Apple, the deceased Steve Jobs had told the President a while back that there was no way his products could or would be built in the U.S. You see there is this little wonderland called Foxconn. It consists of 300,000 employees who work 12 hour shifts 6 days a week. They live in dorms and are susceptible to suicidal thoughts. Go figure. They make Ipads, Kindles, WII’s and X boxes. Yet we buy millions and millions of these things without outcry. Steve and his partner started in a garage. No wonder.

I love Boston. It is where I met my wife. I will admit that I was not rooting for the Pats. Bill’s hoodie and constant look of pain just don’t jive with my schtick. But after reading reports of the post game I wonder if the boys from Southy, Dorchester and Revere are inviting Gisele Bundchen and Tom over for drinks and dinner next weekend? Actually I wonder if she has a brain in her pretty little head? And you think guys are stupid?

Newt constantly refers to Barak and Saul Alinsky as being blood brothers. I decided to tickle the keyboard and find out who this dude was. Actually quite interesting in an intellectual way. He was a community organizer but I don’t think communism was part of his lexicon. He said that there were two sources of power: money and people. He didn’t have money. After the defeat in Florida, Newt said Romney had the power of money. He had the power of the people. Makes you wonder how far apart they are?

I wonder a lot. Life is full of extraordinary mysteries and enigmas that at the same time seem so obvious after a little thought. I question. I am not so much a non believer as I am just not satisfied with a quick hit explanation. I hope it makes you question. I wonder if you do?

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

There are 77 million Catholics in the U.S. 22% go to church on a regular basis. Catholic Charities is the largest private charitable organization in the U.S. with 160 separate agencies

After the dustup Planned Parenthood got $1 million in new donations. $250,000 from Mayor Bloomberg. Susan G Komen said donations were up 100%. I am going to create a controversy for the TTG Foundation.

Can you name the Seven Wonders of The World ? ..Answer next week

Do you ever wonder why:

They sterilize needles for lethal injections?

If con is the opposite of pro then is Congress the opposite of progress?

Why the guy who invests all your money is called a broker?

(All plagiarized..I am not that smart)

TTG’s Head is on the go this week. Many points to ponder….so little time.

An author appeared on PBS News the other night discussing liberal and conservative. The overall gist was that liberals want everyone to come together and share. Kumbaya. The conservatives want to keep things as they are or were. The gap is wide. If push comes to shove the conservatives will fight to the death because it is in fact about their possessions and lifestyle. The liberals aren’t quite so passionate. Doesn’t sound good either way.

Every man is an island. In discussing the whole rich man poor man thing with a friend, he had concluded it wasn’t worth the discussion. Basically our world and politics is every man for himself. They are going to do what works for them. No one else matters.  Rather than fight it he is just going to figure out how to live in it. I felt sad at that thought but on the other hand admired his pragmatism.

I saw an old clip of a golf tourney of long ago. Plaid slacks were the norm. Of course we all emulated the pros. Some of those were a cross between butt ugly and ridiculous. What were we thinking? On the other hand if we wait long enough they may come back. Width of ties and designs. Shirt collars. Tabs, collar pins, button down, flare, no collar at all. Is this an expression of individuality or slavery to some strange fashion god ? Dunno.

Other than the “candidates” there are some very cool people running around DC et al. Leon Panetta. Alan Simpson. Erskine Bowles. Mitch Daniels. Corey Booker. Booker is mayor of Newark and an African American. He went to Stamford, Oxford and Yale Law. Instead of cashing in, he became mayor. Alan is Alan. Forthright and straight shooting. Not worrying about taking whomever to task. Mitch Daniel is governor of Indiana. Practical thinker. Rides around the state on his Harley but looks like an accountant. Stays in the homes of fellow Hoosiers along the way. Wish he hadn’t gotten out of the race for president.

Walking miles in your shoes. I think before you vote for war or bombing some place back to the Stone Age you should either have participated in combat or have your kid in the Armed Forces. Likewise before you formulate your illegal policy you should be required to drive a deported family to the border and make them get out of the car. You should also go to the hospital on a Friday or Saturday and tell someone without insurance that you can’t help them even though their baby is in distress. Lastly if you are President, your kids should have to go to DC public schools. Makes you stop and think.

Labeling. Ever notice even after they retire, people still call them Mr. President or Senator or Governor or Mr. Speaker. Not really sure why that is? But then again we always call people excons, felons, rapists and sexual predators for life. Okay I get that line of thinking and  I am also realizing the similarities of the two groups. Wonder what they will call me?

I think we all get the idea that we need jobs in this country. Now let me get this straight. If we don’t have any rules we will have prosperity. Everyone is waiting for a moratorium on laws. Then we will fly. If we tax the rich, then a chicken in every pot. Or if we take away all taxes then the economy will hum. Is it me or has no one actually come up with specifics on how we are going to come up with 18 million jobs? Oh yeah, we are going to build a colony on the moon for 18,000 people in eight years. What was I thinking?

Our priest brought up an interesting concept. The Muslim etymology actually refers to a submission to God. I am going to believe because Allah said so. The Judaeo Christian is more about struggling. You are always grappling with this concept of God. What does faith mean? Instead of taking in on face value they always want to discuss and is rife with different religions.Just a little food for thought.

Lastly I had an idea when I saw various politicos standing behind their front man or woman. You know how they line up. Now they could be a glee club. But then aren’t they just singing to the choir?

They could be the Marx Brothers but wasn’t Groucho, Harpo, Zeppo et al  a little more clever. They could be the Three Stooges but they are usually more than a trio. I think I will go with proud parents who are fawning over their new born(in this case a new speaker or piece of legislation). They look at it and think how wonderful they are for having brought it into this world.  Then ten years later they watch in horror at what a monster they have created. But then like parents of brats put on a happy face and look the other way.

As always

Ted The Great

Fun Factoids:

The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world. Thou shalt not steal.

All eyes are blue at birth. Light changes the colors. The eye stays the same size throughout your life. A sight for sore eyes.

The Interstate system was formed for national defense in the 1950‘s. One mile out of five has to be straight so it can be used as an emergency landing field. Duck and cover.

If Barbie was life sized she would have measurements of 39-23-33 and I would change my name to Ken and play with dolls.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

You know the routine. Good looking guy meets baby blue eyes. He will tell you anything you want to hear. You are the most important thing in my life. Is it love? Well sort of. Will you respect me in the morning? Well sort of. This is not a lover‘s tryst. It’s a political campaign.

If you are in the Bible Belt, you love Jesus. If you are in New York or San Fran, you are suave and sophisticated. If you are on Wall Street, you love money. If you are in the Midwest, you eat corn dogs. The South, ribs and plenty of them. Don’t forget your drawl. Left. Right. Who cares? What do you want to hear?

Of course, you know me. I have only heard of this woman chasing thing but I can see living proof of the tawdry lineup of unabashed political solicitations every day and night. They ought to bathe everything in a red glow. Hey sailor going my way? Sorry Kath, that was when I was single. Actually the thought of Newt putting moves on someone is kind of disturbing. That’s just me.

Trust is simply defined. I have confidence in you to get the job done. I am going to rely on you. You have character, strength and ability. Fade to black. Who if anyone comes to mind? How has this little institution called government done on any of those counts?

You start with party platforms. Details matter. Talk to the candidate about specifics and you get a W.C. Fields, “Go away kid, you bother me.” Look on our website. We are just talking concept here. I dare anyone to take any part platform of elected presidents or majority parties in the last few years and tell me anyone that has accomplished anything of significance. Trust me.

Let’s take Barak on just some key points. Transparency was the byword and then he goes out and hires Rahm Emanuel. Great. We are going to have policies on energy, the deficit and education. I am going to nail immigration he says. What we have gotten is a collection of incompetent do gooders that were  going to conquer Washington and got run over by the train. Kind of like going from college to the NFL. Different game.

But let’s not forget good old “W”. He started off with a surplus and left the place in shambles. His Republican cronies amped up spending(when they said they were going to cut) to the point where even McCain said they were spending like drunken sailors. I know about those kind of guys. Rummy, Cheney and Rove pulled the strings of a nice guy who was just a puppet. Another guy in over his head.

So let’s look what we have coming up. We have Romney who has filliped flopped extraordinare. He tells people he can feel their pain after earning $20 mill last year. Make all the money you want, just don’t tell middle class America that you are one of them. It doesn’t play in Peoria.

Now  Newt is a wonderful guy. He was thrown out by his own party as Speaker. Went before an ethics committee and coughed up $300,000. He is on his third wife. Canned one in the hospital when she was suffering from cancer. X’ed the next one after fooling around with one of his aides. Now says he is a changed man and found religion. Where do I sign up to back this guy? Or his religion.

And it goes on. The lobbying and hush money. The back door deals when you leave the government. Plenty of perks. Plenty of partying. Plenty of just knowing what strings to pull.

We had dinner last week with a lobbyist and former senatorial staff member for Barry Goldwater. I asked if  there is any way this mess can work? They both said only if you get rid of the money. And the ultra Conservative added that the worst of the bunch was Wall Street. As long as there is chaos and indecision, Wall Street thrives. Their money is everywhere.  His words not mine.

I have always felt trust is something that is earned over time not bestowed by title. Sit back for a moment. Close your eyes. Tell me if you would trust your favorite politician with your husband or wife? How about a guy like Anthony Weiner with your daughter as an intern? How about Charlie Rangel, Mitch McConnell or Nancy Pelosi with your investments?

How about the management of your affairs with any of them. You know we are doing just that. And I don’t trust a one. You want my vote? Earn my trust. You have a long way to go.

As always

Ted the Great

Factoids:

The governor of North Dakota reported on FOX News that the State Department could not rule on the Keystone. All the states had submitted permits with the exception of Nebraska. Nebraska couldn’t get it done with their legislature objecting. It wasn’t going to happen. Did any one hear about that? Either Republicans or Obama pulled a “wink wink”. Maybe both. Trust me.

Congress is immune or exempted from “insider trading” statutes.

The so called STOCK bill to end this is littered with loopholes. For one you can’t act as a congressman but it is okay if you pass that information onto your spouse. Trust me.

Go up and down K Street and you will find untold numbers of former government officials and congressman on the building rosters. This is while they are collecting congressional pensions.

Generals and Admirals are hired immediately upon retirement by contractors they did business with for years. Wish I could say the same about the poor  bastard grunts and sailors that got them there. Trust me.

PS: So you don’t think I am a total grouch. I go to Hopsice on Mondays. I have a special buddy there who is 94 and failing. He was in the US Navy and I always ask for permission to come aboard before I enter the room. We just talk. I didn’t think he would be there yesterday when I came. He was but very weak. I said I thought the two of  us should go on liberty and drink beer and chase women. His weary eyes lit up and we laughed. He said,”We’re not going to tell the wives are we?” I said your secret is safe.Don’t tell anyone. Life is good. Request permission to go ashore?

You know the two Jewish maxims. “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor…rich is better” and “You can never be too rich or too skinny”. I think I agree with both. Now the question becomes rich in what?

Lately the rich are under attack. Big time. People even accuse me of being against the rich. Au contraire, mon ami. I love rich people and just hope they keep inviting me and Kathy places. I am not talking about pseudos. I want the crème de la crème. Actually the diatribes are somewhat absurd. I know some very nice well heeled people.

The Sunday NY Times had a fascinating article as to what it takes to be in the top 1%. I guess it really depends on where you are living. Stamford is a lot different than Abilene. Let’s just say there are a boatload of people that make a lot of money and let’s get over it. And let’s just say we would all love to be there. Why else would we buy LOTTO tickets?

Growing up, I guess we were well to do but I never felt particularly wealthy. On the North Shore of Long Island there were some seriously rich people. The Whitneys, Huttons, Phipps et al were quietly interspersed in Manhasset, Brookville Sands Point, and Lloyds Harbor.

I actually used to take tennis lessons at Alistair Martin’s (of Martin Marietta fame) estate. My teacher had a deal with him to use the indoor court that looked like mansion in its own right. I played one Sunday at Sherman Fairchild’s (of Fairchild Electronics) estate. On weekends, Shermy had a jazz combo playing in the living room for no other reason than he liked to listen to music. No big deal.

I think where this thing goes awry is how the elite handle it. Do you flaunt it or take it in stride. My dad and mom used to have the heads of the bond departments of Citibank, JP Morgan and Marine Midland over on a Saturday night. All brought their wives and my mother cooked. No it wasn’t fancy restaurants or high priced bottles of wine or limos. It’s just the way it was. Times have changed.

I think the internet and 24 hour news has a lot to do with it. That and I guess  the ones I will call the nouveaus. In today’s world people love to tell you how much this or that cost. How big their house is and how many they have. Forbes 100 Wealthiest. Old line rich wore their Izod shirts forever and faded. They had long driveways for the most part to shun publicity not to have people ooh and aah.

Beyonce just had a baby at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York. They had bullet proof glass installed in the maternity ward. No one could go out of their room while she was out of her’s. Are you friggin’ kidding me? Ellen Nordgren is tearing down a $17 million house in Jupiter because of termites. And will build an even bigger one will replace it. Maybe with a high wall to keep Tigers out.

Larry Ellison of Oracle has a 474 foot yacht which is only the second largest in the world. The Rising Sun has one distinction and an important one. It is larger than Microsoft Paul Allen’s. He is actually building a new one. And you thought size didn’t matter.

Now look, if you have tons of money I could care less. You earned it somehow and how you spend it is none of my business. But do you really get how this looks to the rest of the world? You say mind your own business. But I am here to tell you that unfortunately it’s in everyone’s craw today.

Years ago before the media and the incorporating of wealth, no one knew how wealthy people were. They just guessed. Now Wall Street is publicly held. Entertainment, the Internet, and biotech have created wunderkinds in both mind and salary. Subtlety and understated are not part of the vernacular today.

To the ultra rich I say, just get a little class. Understand that the world is not an easy place. It’s not so much empathy as it is brains. Or as I say, “Neat but not gaudy”. Enjoy it but don’t shove it down people’s throats. Larry Ellison actually made that new yacht smaller when he realized there were not “intimate” spaces on the old one. Whatever!

To the not so rich I say, get over it. They really don’t have to share a thing.They should to some degree but don’t bet on it. But there are also many ways to measure wealth and success. The grass looks greener but in many ways it is not all it is cranked up to be. There are a number of happy swells but then again there really are some things money can’t buy. Just ask them.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

The largest private yacht in the world is 538 feet long and has 15 staterooms and a crew of 70. There are six onboard tenders and room for three helicopters.  It is owned by a Russian billionaire.

The largest private home under construction in the US is a 90,000 square foot cottage being built by Hollywood mogul David Segal in Windermere. Fl.

The highest paid exec in the land is McKesson’s John Hammergren who weighs in at $131 million last year. Jamie Dimon only came in 12^th at $42 million. Piker

The highest paid athlete is still Tiger at $75 mill. Kobe and Lebron are around $50 million. $50 million is the equivalent of earning $500,000 for 100 years.

Why are they occupying Wall Street and not movie theaters, sports arenas, Oracle and Facebook?

With all due credit to Muhamed  ElArian of PIMCO, the New Normal is upon us. We see it in the markets, in our technology, in our everyday lives, in our politics and most of all in our world. This is not a slow moving local. It is a high speed train that you either get on or get run over by.

Now some will espouse the theory of singularity. It is the time when man feels he can create a machine that is smarter than a human brain. Some put that time at somewhere in the 2030’s. If they were comparing it to mine, it might be a lot sooner. A little out there. I think I can wait.

That’s not what I am talking about. It’s more about a breakaway from the past. Of course we all long for the good old days of Leave It to Beaver, the Fonz and live TV. Sorry gang. Ain’t gonna happen. Politicians crave for a more simplistic world with no regulations. The way they get things done I would not hold my breath there either.

I think most of us really understand the meaning of progress as well as regression. We ride this fad or good time and then can pretty much figure out the bubble. Usually a little too late but we still get it.

Take markets. Buy and hold really isn’t appropriate any more. Not so much that companies don’t work as much as when you buy them. Supercomputers have the edge and you can be up or down 2-5% in a matter of moments. If it is the darling you are in clover. If you are being shorted, you are dead.

Housing is another good example. Being a market, it tends like all others to exaggerate swings for better or worse. Did you really think you could not lose money on real estate? Probably in the 60’s to early 2000’s you couldn’t go down but all good things must come to an end….or a least a pause. How incredibly naïve we can be.

High school diplomas don’t amount to much and unfortunately doing a cost analysis on that college sheepskin is not going to guarantee untold riches. They are now telling us, thank God, that we have too many lawyers. Sorry Dick. And MBA’s. But we are missing scientists, math doctors, and engineers. My how the pendulum swings.

Cars last ten years. You don’t buy one every two or three years unless you are my daughter Megan. You can’t put too many more bells and whistles on the flat screen TVs. The world seems to have drawn a line at 3D. You really look like a dork wearing those glasses.

We are in a global world. The internet has enabled the masses to make themselves heard. And whether they are in Egypt, Libya, Syria, or Greece,  it throws economies and markets into turmoil. We have an amazing clash of cultures and moralities. Religion? I wouldn’t dare touch it with only a passing reference.

And all the while people will clamor for peace and quiet. Their lives are a blur. I love solitude but it is pretty nigh impossible to find. Six days at sea was a dream if you left the internet alone. But I think we are hooked.

The pundits will tell you that a third party does not have a chance because of boots on the ground and support from big money. Tell that to Mubarak, Quadaffi, and maybe even Putin. Cyberspace does not cost anything except for content. Money? With the right message you can raise million in a matter of hours.

I watched fiasco after fiasco in Washington. Eric Cantor calls it just part of the political process. I call it a lot of jaded men and women that don’t seem to get it. They won’t know what hit them.

In sum I am expectant and intrigued. I really believe that a lot of us have gotten that New Normal. We have made adjustments financially as well as to our principles. Doesn’t mean we have given them up but we have reexamined them and found out what works and what doesn’t. At least we are giving it a try.

The Jesuits have an education philosophy that teaches you to question everything. It is throwing old hat and conviction by osmosis aside. It is only by casting doubt on a principle that you can really understand what it is you believe.

Look. I love Oldies but Goodies. Would I love to put my life on automatic for the next 20-30 years? It is a nice thought. But I am a citizen of the world. It is throwing new challenges at me that textbooks don’t always solve. I want to be aware and ready. That train is not going to get by me. I’ll get used to the modern interior and besides  I like the view.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids:

We all worry about us or our kids getting a job. A plumber, mechanic or electrician will charge $75 and up to come to our house. And if you don’t think he has work, how long does it take him to respond to your phone call?

More Americans approve of polygamy, pornography, Nixon and even Obama more than they do the Congress.

High frequency trading is highly quantitative using complex algorithms to analyze data and automatically buy or sell huge amounts of stock.  These trades now account for 75% of the volume of stock trading on any given day

Internet Usage

Africa 1billion pop. 4.5 mill users(2000) 118 million(2011)                                                            Asia 3.9 billion pop.114 million users(2000) 922 million(2011)                                            Europe 816 million pop. 105 mill users(2000) 476 million(2011)                                              Mideast 216 million pop.  3.2 million users(2000) 68.5million(2011)                           N.Amer.    347 million pop. 108 million users(2000) 273 mill (2011)                                       Lat Amer. 597 million  pop.18 million users(2000) 215 mill (2011)                                    Oceania 35 million pop.  7 million users (2000) 21 million (2011)

World Tot  6.93 billion pop.  360 mill users(2000) 2.1 bill (2011)

Your mission Mr. Kenny should you choose to accept it is to continue wandering through space and cosmic thought for the foreseeable future. If not your keyboard will self destruct in 30 seconds. Okay, I am in. Are You?

This is my 58^th posting of Ted’s Head. People from every angle probably can’t quite believe those numbers. If you are loyal your sanity should be questioned. If you have avoided opening “New Post” most weeks, you might feel a bit smug but I also think you have missed a fair chunk of fun and rapprochement.

Looking back in the archives we have really covered a fair amount of ground in the last year. We have moved from politics to religion.Tragedy to triumph. Big things. Very simple things. Zany to serious. Annoyed to hopeful. We’ve touched third rails. I hope we have touched hearts. Yup, that’s Ted’s Head alright.

I am not quite sure where to go with it. We have a mailing list of about 130 and 100 of you are faithful readers. Some one told me that was very good. Maybe I have something to say or maybe I am just your voice? I hope both.

I have tried not to takes sides in my musings. Everyone seems to be fair game. I have cajoled and skewered where necessary. I probably have not praised enough. The pickings were slim. I really want to observe and comment and not pontificate.

I am attempting to go in one additional direction this year. I am going to see if there is room for my show on the road. No, not to a town near you but just around Denver. I do not want to get on a soap box but facilitate of sorts. I want to gather a group, pose a problem that we face and ask for solutions not diatribes. How about the deficit? Entitlements? Infrastructure. They won’t go away. How would you solve them?

I think my first audience will be people of my generation. It might be a small group or a cast of thousands. Maybe no one will listen. When I mentioned this profile to Kathy she looked at me in a cross between wonderment and incredulity.(Not the first time) Hey, maybe I will get booed off the stage or out of a barroom. But I am still going to try.

I spent a portion of my day trying to figure out a new internet and TV provider. Comcast has cast aside any semblance of customer service and it is time to move on. As I picked through various websites I was caught by the number of channels you can get. On some services there are over three hundred.

Now that is really kind of scary. Not only that they provide them but that people actually watch some of this stuff. It also reinforced some of my feeling that a lot of these people broadcasting were thrust in front of the camera and told to look smart. Forget about content. Just look good. They will believe you. About that image part, maybe I will stick to radio.

There is a great new show with Erin Burnett called “Outfront.” Maybe it is not earthshaking journalism but she tells it like it is. When the boys and girls in Congress punted for the umpteenth time she let them have it right between the eyeballs.

Another great new publication is “The Week”. It takes both U.S. and international stories and capsulates them. Then they take commentary from all sides and presents it as such. Very snappy. Very easy reading for all of you that have limited time and concentration. I am one of them.

These and others will help us keep a shoulder to the wheel. We can’t beg off for lack of time or interest. The most  pressing and incredibly complex problems of our times will require us to sift through a myriad of facts. Not only to find solutions but see if we can come up with some leaders who can truly help us find the way clear.

This year is going to be a Mission Impossible for all of us. There will be death defying stunts and very narrow escapes. But beyond the whole thing is that undeniable feeling that Tom Cruise is going to pull this thing off.

I feel that way about us. I feel something that you don’t see on accident and murder driven TV. You won’t hear the good news from either side of the abyss of political talk shows. But it is there in the hearts of all of us. Maybe we can turn at least half of those 300 channels positive. Our mission is simple. No matter what your calling stand up, take whatever medicine we have to and get our butts in gear. Not at all impossible. Details to follow. Happy New Year

As always

Ted The Great

Crazy Factoids:

Think you have it tough? Queen Elizabeth has been cut back to $150 million pounds per annum to run her household.

Since 2004 Congress has seen their net worth go up by 15% while America has gone down 8%

The average American breaks 4 laws each day before noon.

There are three bones in the human brain. Richard Cranium!

Americans spend 6 times as much on video games as they do on school library materials.

The microwave was invented when a scientist walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bare melted in his pocket..not in his hands.

Joyeaux Noel

This is the title of a little missive I put out on the front fence of our house. It goes like this.

“Kathy and I are finished putting up the Christmas decorations inside and out. The goose is in her Xmas outfit and no, she won’t be cooked. We hope you enjoy them all.

We are going to do a “lumenaria” on Christmas Eve. For us it is lighting the way of Christ. We would love you to join us. Someone say “I am Jewish”.  Another speaks of atheism. I said why don’t you just do it and think of peace or of a loved one long gone. Somehow the idea of peace on earth and good will towards men doesn’t seem like a bad idea for any one regardless of persuasion.

You need some paper bags, votive candles you can buy at Bed Bath and Beyond  and some sand. We might have extra.

Hope you all have a great holiday.

Kathy and Ted Kenny”

I always put a pen on the placard. People sometimes write comments. Some are even clean. The ones we got this week were really wonderful. I guess there is still hope.

We watched a special from Rick Steve’s on Christmas in Europe. There were no big boxes. There were just some great traditions in each country. I hope we are not celebrated for Black Friday as ours.

I took my seven year old granddaughter, Harper, skiing yesterday. We went to a simple local resort. The lift tickets for the beginner slope using her young and my old fart discount was $43. We made 20 trips on the short lift and went down the race course and she “caught air” on a jump. Life is good.

We stopped in a little mining town of Georgetown on the way home for a homemade  ice cream cone. She said the town looked like a Christmas place and it did. We talked about fancy and simple. She said she liked simple. She also said she didn’t think there was any Padge quite like me. I think she meant it as a compliment.

My message this year is simple. No matter what you think or believe there was a guy born 2000 years ago. To some He was a savior. He was of no means. He wore sandals and a cloak. He didn’t have a limo. He slept in simple surroundings.

He talked of a place called heaven. He also spoke of love. Do unto others. Most of the commandments His Father brought down are the basis of law in almost every civilized country in the world. After two thousand years the bible is still the best selling book every year after year. I think They are onto something.

Sure in our own unique way we have lost much of the symbolism. We have morphed a very basic message into some sort of extravaganza. We all have used religion as an excuse for tyranny and violence over the centuries. Peace has become power.

When I put out the “lumenaria”.  I will think of all of you. I will think of New York and San Francisco. Providence and San Diego. Scottsdale and Vail. Ireland  in a special way.  I will think of my brother and my parents. My friend John. A special lady named Rosemary

I will then go in and have a glass of red or a special Irish whiskey. I will sit in front of the fireplace and say Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

As always

Ted The Great

Factoids: Not this week.

I have gloated over my grandkids and especially our new baby granddaughter, Phebe Kathryn. Sorry about that but it is Padge’s prerogative. I have truly marveled at all of their first eight years so far. The progressions they make but also how they develop their sense of self and yes, a personality.

Just look at an infant’s facial expressions. They hear a noise. They see a light. They feel a touch. They react. In the very early days and months this is an incredible adventure. Nothing goes unnoticed. It is all going into the memory bank.

In the very beginning they don’t care what you are doing as long as you are feeding them. As a matter of fact I guess that goes on for all of us for too many years. They smell the food or eye the bottle and you are numero uno. But much more is their smile. They approve of you and want to be appreciated as well. There is cooing and billing. Life is good everywhere.

When her brother Anders comes into the room, Phebe lights up. She hears him and the grin appears. Being true show people they now have a Mutt and Jeff act that can be performed on demand. Very cool.

I started thinking about this whole smile thing. It really is a reflection of who you are inside. I can see the older kids force a mug for the camera as if to say “Do I have to?” I also see them chortling full bore and there is a glow that is hard to ignore. Who cares if they are nailing you with a water gun? It’s the best.

I see smiles in the teens. They are sometimes forced. They are awkward. They are embarrassed. They are in the midst of puppy love. They don’t want to show those braces. They are trying to hidebullies and putdowns. They want to show something but they are so confused.

College and post studies give you more of an air. Be cool. Sophisticated. We have got to be thinking of a career. Don’t want to seem too blasé. Sure I can keep my nose to the grindstone. Know your spot. Know your place. You are on display.

Later in life your smile matches your standing. You are important and you want to show it. Don’t flash at just anyone. Remember you are really in the big time now. Be reserved about everything you do. The world is your oyster and there to serve you.

Then it is time to retire. You don’t have to care about anyone else except close friends and family. You have your own little life and let’s not have anybody mess it up. You’ve got plans but they are solitary. No need to involve any one else. You have earned it. Is it a smile or a smirk?

Now life moves on and the smiles are hard to come by. God it hurts when I get up in the morning. Those grandkids are coming by. I love them but only in small doses. My time is valuable you know. Make it between two and three. I have a full schedule.

And you draw further and further into your self. People think you are getting a little grouchy. They are right, but they haven’t been through you have been through. “I’ve worked my ass off like you will never know.” Oh yes I forgot. You earned it.

Then that time comes for it to run out. People gather with frets and fears. They fawn and the fuss. They want you to feel comfortable. You don’t think of the deals you missed. You think of opportunities for love lost. It is so hard to smile. Your body and your heart ache. Maybe just one last time I can force just one more. It is the way I want to be remembered.

I am not sure where I am in the process. And neither are you. I am going to reinvent my smile at least one or two more times. I am going to try to be warm and not superficial. I will have love not hate in my heart. I will forgive and hope that I am forgiven. I just want to tell you how good life has been to me.

I want to be like Phebe. I want to light up when people enter the room. I want to listen so hard and strain my eyes so I can pick up every detail. I want to put them in my mind to treasure. I can think of so many reasons to smile. Here comes another one now.

As always

Ted The Great.

There was a study that measured smiles in high school yearbook photos and looked at what the students were up to decades later. The bigger smilers were more likely to be in a long-lasting marriage and to have a better sense of personal well-being

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Another study found that the size of major league baseball players’ smiles in their trading-card photos predicted longevity. Players who didn’t smile at all lived an average of 72.9 years, those with some semblance of a smile lived 75 years and those with a “beaming smile” lived to be nearly 80. Right on.

Smiling is contagious, and children do it as often as 400 times a day. How many times have you smiled today? I bet you are smiling right now.

In brain studies, a smile stimulates the brain as much as 2,000 bars of chocolate and lowers stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline and while boosting positive ones. Let’s have a smile run for office.

It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.